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Circle jerks

Social Chaos: Bill's Briefs

When you arrive in a new town, meeting people and making new friends is not easy. This is especially difficult for those who have tired of the bar scene and dare not try the booby-trap filled Internet (or should that be filled with boobies?). Luckily for us, in San Diego there are several gay oriented groups.

Eager as they are to have new members, they are not going to call and beg you to join. You have to make the first move. For the guys one such opportunity is the first Wednesday of every month at The LGBT Center: the Guys, Games and Grub Night. Join them next month; you’ll find 200 guys of all ages in various sized circles doing their thing.

Which bring us to the circle jerks.

Yes, I know about those happy times long ago in the basement, garage, Boy Scouts camp, etc. when you and your buddies demonstrated your skill in dribbling and shooting. Most of those buddies now would say they have forgotten such events and stoutly claim never to have participated in such degradation, but we know.

Anyway, my topic refers to the jerks that attend the group meetings and prevent full participation by never changing their seat. What jerks they are when the circle grows larger and larger as late comers (if you’ll pardon the expression) show up.

Finally the circle gets so large you are unable to participate in or even hear other conversations. You end up only talking to the two or three people near you. Not that you are not fascinated by their brilliant conversation, but shouldn’t you be using this once-a-week/month opportunity to chat with others? What about the first-timers? How can they meet people and hopefully make new friends?

My suggestion is to occasionally and deliberately change seats. There is no rule that says people must stay where they first sit down. This might not be possible in the middle of a game, but next month keep just your core of regulars and let two or three new people join. Who knows, you might be the one to find a new friend.

When there are several tables available in the lounge/coffee shop, use the other nearby tables as soon as one fills up. You could even make it a policy that every 30 minutes or so about half the group switches with friends at another table.

Most important is to have new members join you, but don’t monopolize them; have them move on fairly quickly to another table so they get a chance to meet everyone. After getting used to table jumping, no one will feel uncomfortable about jumping or being jumped (did I say that right?).

I would like to suggest at the next Guys, Games and Grub Night, every now and then someone shout “Circle Jerk” to get things going. On second thought, maybe not. Surely someone might assume that is a game option.



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Posted by LGBT Weekly on May 26, 2011. Filed under Bill's Briefs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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