Reflecting on life after PrideAllan's A-List Thursday, July 28th, 2011
Social Chaos: Allan's A-List
Hello, my dear friends. Yes, there is life after Pride. Well, there is life after Pride for some of us; others are still trying to find things here and there or just trying to resuscitate their bodies (like me!). We all have to survive, so we can make it to Halloween and wear that fabulous wig in the closet. Of course I am not speaking for myself, as I am a butch homo. Who am I kidding?
I’ve been going to Los Angeles a lot lately for fun and some work. This time, I went to pick up some underwear from Andrew Christian for an underwear party for Pride. It’s pretty funny that they have a pair of underwear that not only is stuffed but also has the shape of a penis head. A totally false advertisement of your jewels. Imagine you see a guy at an underwear party and when you grab his stuff, it’s not real. Hello?
During my stay in LA, I stopped by the ChiChi LaRue store to say hi to my friend Coco LaChine. ChiChi was there and we chatted a bit about San Diego Pride and how she was disappointed that her gig here in San Diego didn’t go through at the last minute and she wasn’t coming. ChiChi keeps losing weight and looks great.
Speaking of losing weight, no, I am not sick! And no, I am not on drugs! I am just eating better and taking better care of myself. But don’t you worry. I’ve not been too good after Pride as I am here writing this column and eating brownies. Get ready! Chubby is coming back.
Later that night, I went to dinner at this Cuban restaurant with Coco. This was my first time trying Cuban food. It was delicious – somehow similar to Brazilian food. While dining, I showed her a picture of my Brazilian “friend” from my Sacramento trip, and her comment was, “Him? I think he’s on the cover of this book we just got in the store.” Sure enough, we go back to the store and it was him. To make a long story short, he ended up being a Randy Blue porn star. Wouldn’t you like to know his name?
San Diego Pride
My Pride was nuts as usual. I worked a lot and did not have a lot of time for fun. I have learned a lesson this year: Not to spread myself so thin and learn to say “no” to people. I am not sure how I thought I could manage being in two Pride contingents for the parade (thanks Ben for making that happen), a drag show at the festival’s main stage and a production of a bar event all in one day.
After sleeping for about one or two hours, I got up Saturday at 7 a.m. to set up for the parade. The parade started at 11 and at 10:45 I was at the car wash getting the convertible cleaned for the parade. I barely made it! Off I went on my first journey, representing the Imperial Court de San Diego.
Then I ran back to the starting point and jumped on the Numbers float. Once again, I barely made it. On that journey, everything went wrong – from the generator and music stopping to a bear friend getting overly excited and puking all over the truck including my shoes. At the end of the parade, I discovered they tossed one of my shoes when they were cleaning up the mess. Thankfully, I remembered a go-go dancer left his boots in the office at Numbers.
Now picture this hot mess: Two hours of sleep, exhausted and stressed, and wearing Jager board shorts, black knee high socks, black go-go boots and a red tank top. I promise that was not what I picked up at Andrew Christian. This is how I showed up at the festival.
After the festival, it was back to Numbers to finish setting up. I didn’t leave till the end of the night – still rocking the board shorts, knee high socks and boots. Needless to say, I was over it!
After catching up with sleep, my best friend Zam and I went to the Remedy Pool Party at the W Hotel. It was a great turn out, and it was nice to see some friends that I haven’t seen in a while. Shortly after, we made it to the Pride festival just in time to watch Frenchie Davis sing and then we were off to the Zoo Party for a couple of hours before work.
Thanks to everyone that had to put up with me during Pride and to the performers for the drag show at the festival.
A moment of reflection
I’ve been working on some stuff with my shrink. Yes, I am crazy! What usually gets me in trouble is my inability to say “no” to people and my desire to always be accommodating. While so many people say that I am stubborn, they can also say that when someone asks for my help, 99 percent of the time I say “yes.”
So the new Allan will try to help you, but don’t be surprised if he says “no.” I will try to put my natural heat aside and handle things more calmly.
This process is part of something that I’ve been learning from two good friends, Dr. Kim Wart and Dr. Hillary Stokes of Authenticity Associates. The Six-Step Attraction Formula: The Internal Factor.
1. Get clear on what you want. Clarify what you specifically want to achieve.
2. Identify why you want it. Your target has to be emotionally engaging for you.
3. Focus on what you want intently. Visualize yourself achieving it for at least 15 minutes per day.
4. Align your state mentally and emotionally with having achieved your target goal throughout the day.
5. Focus on what you can control in the present moment with the quality of your questions.
6. Expect it! Look for the subtle Internal Factor signs that your goal is being achieved.
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