Revealed: The back story of the mayor’s raceBottom Highlights, Conversations with Nicole Thursday, October 4th, 2012
Commentary: Conversations with Nicole
Well, I’m off to Canada this weekend (more on that in an upcoming column).
This has been one of the most ugly and negative mayoral races in our city’s history and no candidate for mayor has been so disliked or rejected by GLBT, Latino, African American and Asian leaders and voters as Carl DeMaio.
Disappointment, not anger should be aimed at Jerry Sanders
Many GLBT San Diegans are expressing their anger publicly and privately over Mayor Sanders’ endorsement of Carl DeMaio. I can understand great disappointment but not anger and not even dislike. We should all look at Jerry Sanders’ total record and life as a police chief, head of the United Way and Red Cross and mayor. He has always been there for us, the GLBT community. I cannot begin to tell you the pressure that the Republican Party and downtown millionaire establishment developers and the Tea Party, etc. are putting on Republican-elected officials … and, yes, the many threats. While I do not believe this is the reason Sanders endorsed DeMaio (I will keep that to myself) I have received calls from elected Republican officials who really hate Carl DeMaio and yet endorse him because of the pressure of the Republican Party, downtown establishment and those so afraid of having a mayor who is a progressive Democrat for the first time in decades. I also know that District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis is under unbelievable pressure to endorse Carl DeMaio. Very big pressure from the conservative Republican establishment.
Because of your endless comments, calls, emails etc about Sanders’ endorsement I have decided that in next week’s San Diego LGBT Weekly I will give the real story about Mayor Sanders’ change of heart about “gay marriage.” A story I promised one of his top aides I would never reveal until he left office, but feel now is the time to remind you all why we love this man and his family. Look for this exclusive story in next week’s issue of LGBT Weekly.
Why I am not supporting Carl DeMaio for mayor
Yes, there was indeed a time when I would have supported Carl DeMaio for mayor. Yes, maybe even over Bob Filner. Many of you know that Carl and I, at one time, had such a very close relationship that he even called it like “mother and son.” We were so close that at times we talked ‘til 3 a.m. I was at his new home when he “cooked” his first dinner for a few of us that included Tom Blair and former Marine Sgt. Bob Lehman – it was awful and we laughed all night.
I helped decorate his new council office and gave him religious gifts and his first book on the life of Harvey Milk. Yes, at times, it seemed to the community that Carl and I were inseparable and many of you warned me that he was “using” me as I helped him come out of the closet before he ran for City Council and introduced him to our GLBT community, its leaders, organizations and “mentor” him.
I remember, one time, I told Carl what a “big basket” this guy had at a bar we were at and Carl didn’t even know what “basket” meant! I took Carl to his first Center gala dinner, children’s toy drive and Easter egg hunt. Yes, I loved him like a son and, believe it or not, one cannot have had such a close relationship without your heart still having a little piece still there.
Carl was a very lonely gay man and wanted a relationship so very badly. I met some of his lovers and “flings” and many just used him. I wanted so very much for Carl to find true happiness. At times, Carl wanted to “write off” and leave our community and never come back to Hillcrest and I would talk him out of it, because many liberal gay Democrats treated him like “sh-t.” Many of you know that I defended Carl DeMaio in this very column for years and, in fact, stopped dead in its tracks a tenth floor City Council rumor that was spreading all over the place that Carl was allegedly involved in some kind of sexual act. To me, it was an ugly situation and I intervened and put an end to it quickly.
Carl was very honest and told many of us, even before he ran for City Council that he was aiming to become mayor, and this was his main goal.
The Carl DeMaio I knew is not the Carl DeMaio of today. He has sold his soul in his effort to achieve this office. Many of you have written to me and said that I must be a really “old dumb queen” not to see that Carl used and played me.
At this time, I have decided not to grant that interview to tell the complete story on the Carl DeMaio that I know, but I feel I owe you, my community, an explanation of our past relationship and an answer to your endless questions.
You see, all my life I have been like a “mother” and “mentored” gay leaders like, Russell Roybal, Susan Jester, Tony Zampella, Todd Gloria, Joseph Rocha, Big Mike and many, many more.
Some say that Carl DeMaio used both the conservative Republican establishment and the GLBT community, telling some in Hillcrest that we should wait and see when he becomes mayor that he will marry his lover, Johnathan Hale on the steps of City Hall and take a bold stand against the Boy Scouts anti-gay position and that he will advocate the gay agenda after he becomes mayor. Then he tells the radical right and Tea Party people and his fellow millionaires that he will not take a stand on “social or gay-rights issues.”
I am not supporting Carl DeMaio because we … San Diego does not know who this man really is. He has two political and social issue faces and is doing anything and everything he can to win. Also, the facts are that Carl DeMaio and Johnathan Hale will be the Ronald and Nancy Reagan of San Diego and we all know that Johnathan has a lot of influence and control over Carl. And Hale is a very mean-spirited and evil man.
This is Carl DeMaio’s real first love and relationship and we all know how our “first loves” make us blind to anything negative about them.
Carl DeMaio has only been in San Diego for about 7 years and he has always had an agenda for power and influence and, sad to say, my “son” has become like that child in the movie The Bad Seed. He has lied and used us all and may indeed have the last laugh as the citizens of San Diego do not know the real Carl DeMaio and his psycho, drama queen lover Johnathan Hale that we, his community and his “mother-mentor” knows.
Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last five mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com
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