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Get a grip. Get out. Get a group

Social Chaos: Bill's Briefs

In days gone by my friends dragged me to the bars of Tokyo, Bangkok, etc. where the go-go boys, pumped and panted and performed for a posse of paunchy, pale patrons. (Repeat that three times). One “star” took one look at me and asked if I was a missionary. How does one take that? Pleased? Insulted? Back to topic, nowadays foreign bars have been replaced by local eateries where my chat groups solve the problems of the world.

Our nieces and nephews kindly caution us to be careful with their, I mean, our money, so not to panic them, we converge on economical cafes which change the paper table clothes at least once a day. We ignore places favored by the younger crowd who equate class with the size of the crowd and its loudness. Also Tweeting and twittering are banned, although occasionally there is a twit at the table.

We have a free range of topics, but seldom tackle health: it leads to endless games of one-up-man-ship as to whose is worse. We recently did discuss our general weight problem and were pleased to be reminded by our science guru that Galileo said a body (fat or thin) in motion stays in motion and, more importantly, at rest stays at rest, so when we have trouble getting up out of a chair, we know it is not our fault; it is a law of physics.

At that same meeting some smarty-pants made a comment about Kenyan economics which led me to blather on and on about the poor in Kenya until it was pointed out I misheard “Keynesian.” Of course I misheard. What is a Keynesian? Someone from Kansas? Mr. Smarty was quick to enlighten me. He was referring to one of the greats from the turn of the century like Shavian, Keynesian, Wildian, etc.

See what you can learn from these groups. Join one.

Face facts. Face the mirror.

As I repeatedly tell my family, Lord knows I never offer an unasked for opinion or advice. OK, OK, maybe a suggestion or two breaks forth. I am just trying to spread a little joy, polish and refinement in the world.

For example, I am appalled by the young street walkers in Hillcrest. I mean young people walking in the street. Often meticulous attention has been paid to their hair, its color, grease, spiked points or dangling tendrils; but their clothes are the problem. They are not fashionably unkempt; just unkempt. There is a difference. As I shift my eyes to the seniors, sadly I see too many of the same examples. Not the hair, alas! The unkemptness.

Age is not the issue. We can all appear nice and attractive with a little attention to our outward appearance. It often takes no more than a good look in the mirror and common sense or simply ask, “Honey, does this make me look fat, old, sloppy, etc.?” The answer, “Yes.” Pow! Right in the kisser, Alice! (Ask a senior.) Of course, one fibs a little and says, “No” and then casually suggests something that would look “even better.”

Beyond the clothing, does your hair look like a rats nest? How obvious is the rug or dye job? Look in the back view mirror. Check the ear and nose hair. And brush your tongue when you brush your teeth.

Everyone is too polite to mention it, but when you lean forward and they back off like when a cross is shoved at a vampire, take the hint. You have the breath of a skunk fart.

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Posted by on Mar 14, 2013. Filed under Bill's Briefs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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