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Transgender woman seeks to document her story through film

Nicole and Lori

BYRON, Mich.– Assigned male at birth and cast as the wrong character in the story of her life, Nicole Bray, leverages crowd-funding platform Indiegogo to raise funds to document her final transition from male to female and how she found the strength to come forward and reveal her true self with her family’s love and commitment. Being transgender does not have to end in suicide.

If everything goes her way, June 27, Nicole Bray will have the funding she needs to make her final transition from male to female documented on film,… and will have shared her story of resolute love and commitment while spouse Lori champions her former husband’s, now wife’s, journey along the way.

After fighting her assigned gender from birth, Nicole, formerly Michael, fought thoughts of suicide and anxiety for nearly 40 years of her life. Up until Nicole’s strife was visibly noticeable in her mood and actions, no one knew her secret that she had denied her entire life. Her wife, a psychologist, finally convinced Nicole to share what was going on when she grew increasingly concerned.

With the opportunity to share her story and seek a director/producer team with a crowd-funding platform, Bray is attempting to raise the $30,000 required for pre-production costs and surgery to launch the first phase of a multi-phase fund-raise campaign.

Bray seeks to address the paralyzing “now what?” once the decision is made to accept true gender. After seeking a therapist and becoming convinced that her wife would leave her with several sessions focused on “how to deal with your wife leaving you”, Bray considered and attempted suicide, knowing she could not transition alone. Revealed in an excerpt from Lori’s journal she writes:

Michael insists, “Nobody wants this. People get thrown away who have this. They lose their jobs, their spouses, their families, and live on the streets. You’re going to leave me too.” Michael actually insisted that Lori would leave.

Michael went on to explain how he hated having this condition and was suicidal. “I just want all of this to end,” he sobbed.

Michael continued, “I want to be a female…rather, I know that I am a female. It sounds cliché, but I really am a woman trapped in a man’s body. I know that’s not the accurate way to put it but it is how I feel. I am tired of living this way every day of my life. I feel disgusted when I look at myself in the mirror.”

However, after going through this herself, Nicole now realizes being transgender does not have to end in divorce or death and you do not have to journey through the transition alone and without support of others.

Through a documentary focusing on the surprising support of her wife, the audience is also let in on Lori’s thoughts on this transition,

“However, I was scared to death of what this meant for our future. I wondered how we would present in public as two females. Are we a lesbian couple? Could I kiss another woman? Is our marriage valid? Would our friends and family support us? My mind was racing again. I knew I couldn’t talk about these now, partly because I wasn’t ready to. I just wasn’t ready to hear his answers, and I certainly wasn’t ready to look at our future given that I just found out about his need to transition a few minutes ago.”

Lori goes on: “Tonight was the last night I knew my husband as a man. Yet, my love for him grew stronger.”

Once it was decided that surgery would be the most effective method of treatment, the audience is allowed in on the goings on of this process, the feelings, the uncertainty, the stress, and the tribulations that come about including refusal of insurance to cover treatment, financing gender-confirming procedures and surgeries, and telling friends and family who may, or may not, be supportive.

This project has already drawn a lot of attention online and as plans solidifyand the Bray’s move closer toward their goals, the team breathes a sigh of relief as their dream of sharing their story comes closer to fruition.

Nicole Bray’s IndieGoGo project runs through June 27, 2014, 11:59 PST. Those interested in supporting the project should go here.

Short URL: http://lgbtweekly.com/?p=47370

Posted by on May 5, 2014. Filed under Around the Nation, Online Only, Top Highlights. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

1 Comment for “Transgender woman seeks to document her story through film”

  1. I am truly inspired by Nicole Bray’s story and this gives me hope in my male to female transition I started at age 51. I am also married with a teenage son and also battled thoughts of suicide many times. I now know I am on the right path also as I transition to become a transgender woman too. Love, Emily Iannielli


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