The need for kneepadsBill's Briefs, Bottom Highlights, Latest Issue Thursday, April 13th, 2017
Social Chaos: Bill's Briefs
As a child of staunch New England Protestants I knew little of Catholics except they were awaiting word from the Pope to take over the country with the stacks of rifles and casks of gun powder hidden in the church basement.
My father’s friend swore he had seen them. How and why he was there in the first place was never explained. I also thought genuflecting meant to cross oneself. Not until college did I learn it meant to kneel; an action of recent, painful importance. (How cleverly I have slid into my topic.)
There was a time when being on my knees was easily and swiftly accomplished. Now, sad to say, not only the going down, but the getting up are considerable endeavors.
The first thing you are thinking of is, of course, me on a grimy floor with rag in hand rubbing and scrubbing until all comes clean. No, I have a monthly service for that now. I refer to when I went to retrieve a pen from under the sofa. To my surprise intense pain hit as soon as my old bones ground against the floor.
I concede one must face the aches and ailments of aging and the attendant glasses, hearing aids, canes, walkers, etc., but I can’t imagine me with those things that look like homemade falsies. What did I ever do to result in such a condition?
There it is, however, medically confirmed. Once informed of my agonizing affliction, my doctor told me bluntly not to get down on my knees so much or if I couldn’t break the habit, get kneepads.
Such proposals are actually of little magnitude to my current activities. I was upset, however, that my distress and torment were taken less than seriously. When referring to me on my knees, he kept stifling a giggle. I failed to see the humor.
It is a little late to remind you of income tax time as you have (or should have) filed, made an appointment, asked for an extension or done it yourself.
My tax guru brought his computer, sat at the table and logged on to a tax form. I brought him my papers, sat on the sofa and logged on to Judge Judy. A few questions were asked, answered and then, “Sign here.” I am sure I can do it online myself, but as I have yet to master the iPhone 4, it is safer to rely on an expert.
This recommendation of caution brings us to the “etc.” of the topic and refers to all serious paperwork: wills, health directives, funeral preferences, etc. which must be easily found and/or given to a few persons of trust.
For you who have done this, the point is when, how long ago. Think about those who have passed on or are no longer among your intimates and also take into account your new friends or charities. I did this before my recent trip and was surprised how many things I changed.
If it is time for an update, read everything thoroughly and decide if the expressed desires and conditions match your feelings today. If you wish to make alterations, do not scrawl them in the margins. It is vital a professional checks everything. One word omitted or incorrectly placed can sabotage your intent.
A recent news article showed the importance of the comma: A, B, C and D or A, B, C, and D. Check this and add the comma: “The rest to be equally divided among my sister, brother, niece and nephew.” Have your wishes carried out; confer with a specialist. Tomorrow may not come; do it today. Your loved ones will thank you for the clarity if you did and curse you for the mess if you didn’t.
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