Members of the GLSEN San Diego chapter plan for an upcoming event at a board member’s home. From left: Jessica Marlow, Irina Segade, Chet Sewell, Terrie Vorono, Arianna Segla and Karen Wroblewski

For those that don’t know, the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) – the people who brought you Gay-Straight Alliances (GSA), the No Name Calling Week and the National Day of Silence – has a San Diego County chapter.

If you didn’t know about it, you aren’t the first, and it isn’t surprising. The local chapter works primarily backstage – away from the public – albeit diligently, to support the County’s more than 60 GSAs and train San Diego Unified School District (SDUSD) teachers on how to confront bullying and improve its treatment of LGBT youth.

But no one is tooting their horn, which chapter Co-Chair Chet Sewell attributes to the chapter being a group of mostly educators “used to just getting in there and doing the job.” We thought this was a good reason, among many others, to profile the chapter. We discuss its inner-workings, its work with GSAs, its teacher trainings, finances and its plans for the future.

Its inner-workings

The GLSEN chapter is managed by an all volunteer-based executive board, which includes two co-chairs, a secretary, a treasure and four committee chairs; one for a GSA program, one for teacher training and two others for fundraising. There is no physical building that houses the chapter; its meetings are held at The San Diego LGBT Community Center. The board relies on a pool of 20 to 30 dedicated volunteers.

A typical work week for the chapter’s co-chairs and coordinators involve a mix of sending out emails, making phone calls and planning upcoming events and trainings.

Jessica Marlow, Jump-Start team member

“Colin [Pearce, chapter co-chair] and I are communicating with SDUSD, GLSEN national and other educational entities along with filling out grants, organizing fundraisers and overseeing the GLSEN committees,” Sewell said. “While David [Lyons, coordinator of the chapter’s GSA leadership program called Jump-Start] is usually communicating with the GSA advisors via email or phone calls, planning for a social that a GSA is sponsoring at their school and inviting other GSAs to come.”

Unlike other chapters, which receive phone calls and emails from parents and students wanting to know more, such as PFLAG San Diego County, GLSEN is the opposite.

“Its mostly us seeking out advisors and offering them our support,” Sewell said.

Not much is known about how the chapter arose, which Sewell says happened in the mid to late ’90s, beyond the story of how Mick Rabin, local elementary teacher and active member of the chapter, got involved in the early ’00s. Rabin, who had been in the Boy Scouts as a kid, started affiliating with Scouting for All, a group that advocated for ending the Boy Scouts ban against LGBT people from its membership.

“There was a guy in Scouting for All who also happened to be in GLSEN, and I went to a meeting because I was curious,” Rabin said. “That was 11 years ago and I haven’t stopped going since.”

GSAs

Chet Sewell, chapter co-chair

GSAs, student-led groups that provide safe and supportive environments for LGBT students and their allies, are the chapter’s bread and butter. GLSEN does not control or manage the GSAs – they are started and run by students who must follow their school’s policy on student organizations. Rather, GLSEN provides GSAs with assistance, materials, training and help with any concerns.

“We provide them with resources that help them observe their days of actions, day of silence and the No Name Calling Week. We also provide them with the necessary resources to kind of help their supportive environment, kind of structuring it and kind of helping the school be more accepting of them,” Lyons said. “At the same time, we help them connect to other GSAs, which provides them with networking opportunities as well as social activities by hosting a number of events, like the ice skating event we have every year.

“We also have educational as well as activity related events, such as the Safe School Summit, the GSA awards ceremony, which is coming up and helps support GSAs financially,” Lyons added.

At present there are 66 GSAs in San Diego County, mostly in high schools with a much smaller number in middle schools. The alliances are equally spread out across the County says Sewell, adding that the North County LGBT Center does some of the coordination with GSAs in the northern part of the County.

One route through which the chapter supports GSAs is through a program called Jump-Start. According to Lyons, the program’s coordinator, Jump-Start trains and educates GSA leaders to become more effective leaders and advocates at their schools and communities.

“We provide them with the tools and training to become more knowledgeable of the environment, and the terminology and issues going on nowadays, as well as train them on the different solutions or the ways they can go about pushing for change in their own schools,” Lyons said.

Arianna Segla, Jump Start student coordinator

Arianna Segla, who went through the Jump-Start program and is now its student coordinator, says the program helped her become more confident, outgoing and knowledgeable of LGBT issues.

“Before Jump-Start, I wasn’t as outgoing as I am now. Now I go up to people, introduce myself, talk about what I’m for, and make connections,” Segla said. “I’ve also been able to bring [what I learned in Jump-Start] into my school and the schools that I’ve been to and explain to them, ‘You know what? This is what you need to do.’ It’s not something like, ‘Hey, maybe we should do this.’ It’s more like, ‘This is what needs to happen in our schools.’”

Training

If it weren’t enough to support the County’s numerous GSAs, the chapter also trains San Diego Unified School District teachers on how to create safer, respectful environments for LGBT students. GLSEN, locally and nationally, tackles the issue differently depending on the level of education.

For elementary teachers, GLSEN trains teachers how to respond and stop bullying, verbal harassment or everyday forms of anti-LGBT language, such as ‘That’s so gay.’ The substance of the elementary teacher trainings come from a toolkit called, Ready, Set, Respect!, produced by GLSEN national.

Some of the strategies, outlined in the toolkit include how to intervene when bullying occurs and how to engage bystanders. The trainings also provide teachers with lesson plans and suggested ideas for tackling such topics as gender identity and expression; the idea being that kids need to be taught to accept and affirm gender difference and diversity, which can lead to more safe and affirming school climates for LGBT students.

Debra Segla, secretary and volunteer coordinator

“The middle and high school training focuses on creating allies for LGBT students and ways to make one’s school more welcoming and affirming for all students,” said Irina Segade, co-coordinator of the chapter’s teacher trainings.

The substance of the secondary school training comes from another GLSEN national publication, called Safe Space Kit.

The toolkit focuses on informing educators about LGBT students’ experiences with harassment and assault, educating them on existing laws that protect LGBT students against bullying and harassment, and advises teachers on how they can become allies.

The chapter has been providing the training to San Diego Unified School District teachers since 2012, roughly a year after the district passed its anti-bullying policy, which the chapter helped draft. Segade estimates that about 400 educators have been trained thus far.

Finances

Training SDUSD teachers and supporting GSAs takes its toll. The chapter keeps itself financially sound through fundraisers, memberships and grants.

Terrie Vorono, P-FLAG liaison

The chapter relies on fundraisers for 20 percent of its income.

“We do a couple of fundraisers a year. One is our lasagna dinner sponsored by the Big Kitchen in South Park. Judy ‘the Beauty’ Forman opens up her restaurant for us to do a fundraiser there in the fall,” Sewell said.

The chapter receives the majority of its income, 70 percent, from grants.

The chapter receives its grants through variety of nonprofit organizations and businesses, such as San Diego Pride and SEMPRA Energy, who both gave $2,000 grants recently, and the Human Dignity Foundation, who granted $5,000 a few years back.

The rest of its income, 10 percent, comes from memberships.

“People can become members of GLSEN,” Sewell said. “They can do it either locally or through the national and then we get a percentage of it.”

Irina Segade, training and education co-coordinator

Its unclear how many members the local chapter has as the national branch took over that responsibility a couple of years ago, but David Piergrossi, chapter treasurer, estimates its roughly 100.

Future

Finances aside, in the coming years, as the chapter continues to provide education and resources to students and teachers in San Diego Unified, Sewell sees the chapter widening its scope.

“In five years we hope to see ourselves expanding our training beyond the San Diego Unified School District to include all of the school districts in the County,” Sewell said.

Chet additionally wants the chapter to increase its support of GSAs.

“We hope to be even more active with the GSA’s providing them with more resources, social events and other activities,” Chet said.

Further down the road, Sewell would like to see the day GLSEN fully accomplish its goal.

“We’d like to see no need for a GLSEN,” Sewell said. “It would be awesome to think that GLSEN would no longer be necessary in a world that embraced all diversity and created safe schools for all students.”

San Diego Pride

The arrival of summer signals the beginning of backyard barbecues, beach days and, of course, the season of LGBT Pride festivals. From June to November, Californians have an opportunity to show their pride and support for the LGBT community at a variety of events throughout the state, from San Diego to San Francisco. Each event promises a great time with a cornucopia of entertainment, food, vendors and more, all in support of the LGBT community.

Trying to figure out which Prides you want to attend this year? We’ve done the research on several local Prides as well as the big city events to help you decide!

LA Pride: June 7-9

Drawing more than 500,000 people to the heart of West Hollywood, LA Pride is one of the largest gay Pride festivals in the nation, and it’s just a short drive up the freeway for San Diegans.

“LA Pride strives to showcase the diversity within our community,” said Mike Strommel, a four-year board member of LA Pride. “Transgenders are a community with our own history and achievements and our own special interests and needs that celebrate our unity and acceptance into the greater community at large.”

One of the highlights of LA Pride is the fourth annual Transgender Party. This event within an event is an opportunity for the transgender community to showcase their artistic talents via performances and to network among one another.

The three day event features a Pride Run, more than 150 exhibitors and performances on the main stage by Ciara, The Pointer Sisters and Luciana. LA Pride also offers various stages to satisfy those with different musical tastes, including Latin, country, hip-hop and R&B.

The LA Pride parade, which attracts more than 400,000 participants and spectators, begins Sunday, June 9, at 11 a.m.

Tickets are on sale now for $20.

For more information, visit lapride.org

San Francisco Pride: June 29-30

Head north to the Bay Area and take part in the largest gathering in support of LGBT people in the nation, the San Francisco Pride celebration and parade.

With more than 200 parade contingents, 300 exhibitors and 20 entertainment stages, this event has earned its bragging rights.

According to the their Web site, “Pride has come to symbolize several things: the long history of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer dignity; the freedom of all people to meaningfully and proudly express their sexual and gender identities and the commitment of LGBT people to combating oppression.”

This year, San Francisco is celebrating its 43rd annual Pride with a theme of “Embrace, Encourage, Empower.” The parade begins Sunday, June 30, at 10:30 a.m.

Performers on the main stage include Raquel Rodriguez, Nina Sky and Lovesick Radio.

Although the event is free, a $5 suggested donation helps support several Bay Area non-profits.

For more information, visit sfpride.org

San Diego Pride: July 12-14

If you would prefer to stay close to home, come celebrate and show your support at San Diego LGBT Pride in Hillcrest. The theme of this 39th annual Pride celebration is “Freedom to Love and Marry” honoring the state of the movement in this historic year for LGBT equality.

“I hope people enjoy the weekend as an opportunity to get together as a community, have a good time and take pride in how far we’ve come,” said Stephen Whitburn, San Diego Pride general manager. “It’s also an opportunity for us to be visible in the broader community as we keep working to end discrimination.”

The event kicks off with a rally and the annual raising of the Rainbow Pride Flag Friday, July 12. Following these formalities, the party moves into high gear for guests 21 and up with a DJ-filled block party on University Avenue from 6-11 p.m.

Saturday’s Pride parade, which attracts about 200,000 people and is the fourth largest in the nation, begins at 11 a.m. and winds down University and Sixth Avenues.

The Pride festival in Balboa Park is a two-day event featuring entertainment headliners, DJ Morgan Page and R&B singer Monica, and a total of eight music stages. San Diego Pride also boasts the first and longest-running Children’s Garden.

“San Diego Pride is a charitable nonprofit organization,” Whitburn said. “We provide tens-of-thousands of dollars each year to organizations that provide services in our community. The Pride festival is our biggest source of revenue to provide those much-needed dollars.”

To help support the community, buy your festival tickets in advance for just $15.

For more information or to buy tickets, visit sdpride.org

South Bay Pride: Sept. 14

Chula Vista is home to the South Bay Pride Art and Music Festival, a smaller and newer event. Created in 2006 and managed by the South Bay Alliance, it began as an effort to bring attention to the LGBT community in South San Diego.

“When broached about Proposition 22, (the local politicians) claimed this was not an issue for them since the LGBT community was in Hillcrest,” explained South Bay Pride chair, Dae Elliott. “We knew better. We knew that there was, and still is, a large LGBT community here, as well as many allies.”

South Bay Pride offers a more laidback and intimate setting compared to the big city festivals. With an expected attendance of 2,000 people, it feels more like a neighborhood hangout than a huge party.

“We had a couple from Riverside attend our 2010 Pride event,” said Elliott. “They said they had been attending since the beginning of Pride events (they were in their 70s) and they stated our Pride event was one of the best ones that they had ever attended.”

San Diego Pride

The one day event features live entertainment, art, food, a wine/beer garden, a children’s garden and more! The festivities begin at noon at Bayfront Park and the event is free.

For more information, visit southbayalliance.net

Pride@The Beach: Oct. 12

Join Pride@The Beach in Oceanside and keep the celebration going in North County. Created in 2008, this festival has steadily grown from 800 attendees in its first year to 4,000 in 2012.

Located directly across from the beach, the setting for this fun-filled event is hard to beat. With a combination of up-and-coming performers, food, vendors and activities for the kids, this is a day of fun for the whole family and a great way to show support for the LGBT community.

“North County San Diego tends to be much more conservative than the areas surrounding downtown, so this event gives those who may not have the financial means to go down to San Diego, as well as those who may have unsupportive families, an opportunity to be surrounded by the LGBTQ community in a very proud, supportive way,” said Pride@The Beach director, John Jones.

Tickets are $5 and military are free.

For more information, visit northcountypride.com

South Bay Pride

Palm Springs Pride: Nov. 2-3

To wind up the LGBT Pride festival season travel to the desert for the Greater Palm Springs Pride. Since 1969, people have flocked to this oasis for an exciting weekend in support of the LGBT community.

This year’s theme, “It’s Time,” represents “new hope, new beginnings and future progress toward equality,” according to the Palm Springs Pride Web site.

Located at Pride Park, the festival highlights include more than 60 performances, a country dancing tent, a farmer’s market, 150 exhibitors and an array of food and drinks.

The event features a block party downtown Saturday, Nov. 2 at 6 p.m. and the Pride parade Sunday, Nov 3 at 10 a.m.

Price is $15 per day or $25 for the weekend. Tickets go on sale in late September.

For more information, visit pspride.org

(Top L-R) Snapper Humphries and Kyle Escobar (Bottom L-R) Denmark and Demirae

Inaugurated in the United States in the early 20th century, Father’s Day is traditionally celebrated in the majority of countries the third Sunday in June.

According to The Library of Congress the idea for Father’s Day is attributed to Sonora Dodd, who was raised by her father after her mother’s death during childbirth. Ironically, it was while she was attending church on Mother’s Day that she thought that fathers should have a day too. The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane in 1910.

Founded to complement Mother’s Day, the day is designed to be a celebration of fatherhood and male parenting and in honor of fathers everywhere San Diego LGBT Weekly reached out to the LGBT community to find out the meaning of Father’s Day.

(L-R) John Armantrout, Mike Moreno Armantrout, Tristion Armantrout Moreno, Larry Moreno

Former San Diego resident, Jack Mellman, now living in Phoenix has fond memories of his father and the fact that he was so supportive of him being gay.

“Part of what Father’s Day means to me is found in the deep appreciation I have for my own father who was very much a sports guy, having been a lightweight boxer himself back in the 1920s. “Whenever I had a gay relationship fail I would call him and he would say to me, ‘It will be OK, you can come back to your room at home.’ He was always a wonderful host when I would bring my partners over for dinner or for holidays. He was so gracious in that respect,” recalls Mellman. “I feel so blessed to have had a sports guy father and a sports guy son/Marine who were accepting of my being gay. Love should come from family, and in my case I was very fortunate.”

Dave Fenn, a single gay dad from San Diego loves Father’s Day as his kids make him feel very special. “Father’s Day is my most favorite personal date; like a birthday. I look forward to it because it’s my day and my kids make sure that I have the best day ever,” said Fenn.

Dave Fenn with twins Ashley (left) and Afton (right)

Fenn says his children have always been supportive of him even during some very difficult periods of his life. “My kids are very supportive of me,” said Fenn.” They understand and support my life and what I want and my hopes and my dreams. It was trying in the beginning because my ex-wife is a Mormon and she didn’t want me to have anything to do with my kids in the beginning when I came out. She has kinda warmed to the idea now.”

According to Fenn, his kids have changed his attitude to life and his priorities. “In the past I’ve dated men and my kids have all come to like the person I’m with. My two younger kids don’t like that I’m alone and don’t have anyone but I assure them that they come first and there is always time for dating and a relationship later in life. They all come first for me. And some of the guys in the gay community don’t understand that,” explains Fenn.

Over in the South Bay, Snapper Humphries and partner Kyle who just last week took their two kids Denmark and Demirae to Disneyland summed up what Father’s Day means to them, “Father’s Day to us,” said Humphries, “is having fun with our little ones and acknowledging the honor and privilege of being called ‘Daddy’!”

Roper and Raleigh (Dave Fenn’s youngest kids)

San Diego resident Barbara Van Epps recalls Father’s Day in her household was very much all about dad. “My brother and I would simply honor my dad’s financial, familial and horticultural contributions by showering him with homemade meals and a stack of Hallmark cards,” said Van Epps.

After growing up in a difficult environment and subsequently suffering the stigma of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, John Armantrout from San Diego sees Father’s Day as a very special life-affirming day.

“I grew up in an environment that said I wasn’t ‘normal’ and I wasn’t going to be able to have a ‘normal’ life,” said Armantrout. “I then went into the Navy and was told that I was a second-class citizen under years of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and wasn’t welcome if I tried to be myself. Then, I found Larry and we found our miracles – and adopted Mike and Tristion. Now, we have the title ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa.’ We have each other and our family. I am exactly who I was created to be and where I am supposed to be. And Father’s Day is an affirmation of my life – a celebration to say ‘thanks for being you, Dad’ – with no judgment.”

President Barack Obama once said that being a dad is sometimes his hardest job, but also the most rewarding; experiencing those precious moments with our children that fill us with pride and excitement for their future.

But after the gifts of socks and after shave have been opened, the meals are done and the phone calls made its worth remembering that the true meaning of Father’s Day is acknowledging the huge contribution of fathers everywhere and to truly celebrate the importance of male parenting. Happy Father’s Day, June 16.

Susan Atkins

June 28, 2010 the San Diego City Council voted 6-2 to approve construction of the new San Diego Central Library. At the time the project had its detractors. Councilmembers Carl DeMaio and Sherri Lightner voted against the library saying it was too expensive and the City could not afford it. Former City Attorney Michael Aguirre was also opposed to the project, once again citing costs.

The library’s architect, Rob Wellington Quigley noted at the time that the new central library had been a long time coming. “I know people have been involved in this for 30 years,” he said. “We were hired almost 17 years ago. Luckily they were smart enough to hire a young architect.”

The San Diego Central Library may have had its detractors and it may have been a long time coming but fast forward to today and the library is almost complete. The current Central Library will be closing Sunday, June 9 in preparation for the move and the Grand Opening of the new Central Library at 330 Park Blvd. has been set for Saturday, Sept. 28.

One of the foremost visions with this new library was to create a civic space that would allow San Diego to showcase its diverse communities and define its regional pride.

For one of San Diego’s communities the opening of the library could not have happened at a more significant time. 2013 is fast evolving as a historic year for the LGBT community with marriage equality at the vanguard of the fight for total LGBT equality.

The new Central Library provides the perfect platform for the LGBT community to forever memorialize the importance of this year for San Diego LGBT Americans.

Recognizing that, longtime national and local LGBT leader and Library Commissioner Susan Atkins is spearheading a project to name an alcove window as a gift from the LGBT community.

The goal is to raise $150,000 to help fund the Teen Center and to grow and maintain the library’s LGBT collection. In recognition of the LGBT donation the Library Foundation will name one of the alcove windows overlooking Park Boulevard. The location of the LGBT window is significant as it will be next to the Social Studies section of the library which houses the library’s extensive LGBT collection (8,800 items). It is worth noting that this is one of the largest LGBT collections in the country and is buttressed by multiple online services and LGBT items throughout other collections in the library.

San Diego LGBT Weekly recently caught up with Susan Atkins and asked her about the origins of the campaign, the importance of it and how it was all going.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: Thanks, Susan for finding the time to talk to us. Firstly, how did this campaign start and who else is involved with it?

Susan Atkins: Libraries are enormously inclusive places – perhaps the last bastion of democracy where rich and poor, homeless, transgender, minority or elite get the same tireless service from dedicated library staff.

So, as a library commissioner for six years, I watched as our fantastic new Central Library began to take shape; and like everyone else, I was grateful when “the usual suspects” of generous, wealthy San Diegans began to step up and come up with nearly $60 million so far to fund this iconic new edifice. But I said to myself, “Where are the LGBT people? This is our library, too.” So many LGBT people in town are leaders in the community at large, but only a precious few know that they are gay unless they are elected officials.

So, I asked fellow commissioners if they thought an LGBT-focused fund would fly, and then I called some LGBT leaders and asked their advice and opinions, and following much positive feedback I got started on the campaign.

2013 is turning into a historic year for LGBT rights. How can the LGBT library campaign contribute to marking the significance of that?

Civil rights have never come easily in our country, but I think the idea of public lending libraries helps the cause. I further believe that because of the significance of the LGBT rights cases currently before the Supreme Court, and their likely outcome, the year 2013 will make “13” the lucky number for LGBT people. I think it is fitting for our very generous and outstanding San Diego LGBT community to mark this lucky “13” year by helping to fund and putting our name on this Central Library that will bolster our education and grace our skyline for at least the next 100 years.

I believe our fund and our name in the very heart of this iconic public library will acknowledge that the LGBT community is an integral part of the San Diego community. Also, I think it will help generations of San Diegans recognize and understand the extensive participation of LGBT people in the community.

How is the fundraising going? How close are you to reaching your goal?

So far we have more than $80,000 in the door (or pledged.) That’s more than half way to the $150,000 we hope to raise to name the grand alcove window near the LGBT collection – and near the Teen Center which is important!

The new San Diego Central Library

People who have stepped up so far with money and/or support include Gene Burkard and Ron Hicks, Randy Clark and Michael Clark, Bonnie Dumanis and Denise Nelesen, Susan Guinn and Denice Feldhaus, Jeanne Hall, Christine Kehoe and Julie Warren, Bob Nelson, Tracy Jarman and Marcia Bonini, Joyce Rowland and Pam Morgan, Todd Schultz and Paul Scott Silvera, Laura Shawver and Tracy Macuga, Maureen Steiner and Camille Davidson, Susan and Crystal Atkins-Weathers, Dr. Delores Jacobs at The LGBT Center, Kay Chandler at the Human Dignity Foundation, the Rescue Social Change Group and many others.

But we still have a way to go and I’ll keep smiling and dialing – with a little help from my friends – until we’re done.

What would you say to members of the LGBT community in order for them to donate to this fund?

The LGBT community has made huge contributions to San Diego, from serving on boards and commissions to volunteering, campaigning and donating to so many things that make San Diego a great city.

The LGBT community has a history of giving, and I want the greater San Diego community to know this. I also want everyone to be aware that among the highest users of the Central Library are homeless youth, and a staggering 40 percent of them are LGBT. I want us to help take care of our own. I want every LGBT person in San Diego, and every person who supports LGBT rights (our wonderful straight allies) to step up with whatever they can to help us reach this goal.

And finally, for those who can give larger amounts, this is a one-time (non-recurring), tax-deductible donation that can be paid out over several years.

How will the new Central Library serve the LGBT community?

The new Central Library will serve all of San Diego. From the richest to the poorest, every San Diegan will benefit from the resources in our library. This may be health information. It may be job information, school research projects, or LGBT information for a questioning youth or parent. The library is here for everyone. The facilities at the library will also provide meeting places and free public entertainment including LGBT-oriented pieces of entertainment, art and history.

Will the funds raised go toward anything else?

You know the funding for this library has been an amazing thing, from the State Library Association; from the Unified School District; from the old Center City Development Corporation and, of course, from private donors. The money we raise will be chiefly funneled into the Teen Center and into growing and maintaining the library’s LGBT collection. In recognition of the LGBT community’s generosity, we get to name a window. Some of it will also go to funding all of the expenses involved in this $185 million home for our new Central Library. And by the way, our new Central Library is the first in the nation to house a public school – on two of the top floors!

It is said that every great city has an iconic central library. Why is it important for the LGBT community to embrace this new project?

I feel that the LGBT community of San Diego benefits from everything that benefits the city. We know that libraries change lives, and we know they change them for the better. I want LGBT San Diegans to be a significant part of this life-changing event. And, I want San Diegans to know that we care.

Once this project is complete will there be any ongoing efforts to further enhance the LGBT presence in the library?

Throughout its lifetime, the library will continue to host exhibits of relevance to the LGBT community. The Lambda Archives has contributed exhibits, and I anticipate the national Lambda Literary Foundation and the local LGBT Center will provide exhibits, speakers and programs for the library as Lambda Archives has in the past.

At the time the City Council approved this project it had its detractors. What would you say to those individuals now?

You know, part of our democratic process is that anybody can voice their opinion about – well, about anything. There are good people who hold opposing opinions, but I think that even the nay-sayers will be proud of our new library. It is something that should bring us all together as San Diegans, and it is something in which we should all take great pride.

Finally, Susan, tell us about the Buy-a-Brick community campaign?

This is a very exciting campaign and an opportunity for donors to own a lasting piece of this community treasure. Commemorative bricks are available for donations of $150, $500, $1,000 and $2,500. Depending on the level of the donation the bricks will be placed in the main lobby, the trellis walk entrance to the library or in the garden courtyard. The donor’s name can be on the brick or the donor may want to write a special message to a loved one or in fact anything they want. A donor will have up to 36 characters to be creative!

An alcove window in the new Central Library

Overall, I am so proud to be involved in such a wonderful project and the generous participation of the LGBT community will mean that the new Central Library will truly reflect our LGBT pride.

Thank you, Susan, for all your efforts on behalf of the LGBT community.

Donations of any amount can be made to the LGBT initiative by sending checks made out to the Library Foundation to Jay Hill, chief executive officer, San Diego Public Library Foundation, 820 E Street, San Diego, CA 92101 with LGBT in the memo line, or by going online at give.supportmylibrary.org/LGBT and including LGBT in the comments section.

To purchase a commemorative brick visit give.supportmylibrary.org/buyabrick

Bob Filner

When Mayor Bob Filner finds himself up against a wall politically, he turns to the very source of his political power: his constituents. That political power supply, the mayor says, is also his best source of personal vigor.

As one of the mayor’s senior staff members told San Diego LGBT Weekly during a recent day of exclusive, unlimited access “it takes a lot of energy just to keep up with him.”

According to that member of the mayor’s team, multiple staffers working in shifts is what’s needed to ensure Bob Filner has more than just a security detail accompanying him to the myriad of events he attends in a single day.

Indeed, trailing Bob Filner as a reporter is challenging. Consider just one hour-and-a-half slice of our time with San Diego’s top government official.

In a mere 90-minute period, we found ourselves struggling to keep up with the mayor’s SUV, racing from the outermost edges of Balboa Park, across town to the Handlery Hotel in Mission Valley, then north to the farthest reaches of the 163 freeway to arrive at the Chinese School in Kearney Mesa.

There, along with San Diego County Supervisor Ron Roberts and celebrated physicist, Prof. Stephen Hawking, Filner helped dedicate the planting of a peach tree in honor of the late San Diego philanthropist (and friend of Dr. Hawking), Dennis Avery.

Earlier, at the Veteran’s War Memorial Museum in Balboa Park, Filner gave a speech to a gathering of vets, many of whom were decked out in uniforms from just about every American wartime period – from the Civil War, to Operation Iraqi Freedom. There, his honor presented an official proclamation welcoming home soldiers, Marines, sailors and airmen from Vietnam.

“This is long overdue,” Filner told the crowd, adding that they deserved much more than a plaque. He promised to provide more city services to homeless veterans.

The mayor with an unnamed veteran at a ceremony at the San Diego War Memorial

“The people are his secret weapon; he thrives on interaction with them,” the aforementioned staff member said. “And as you can see, they gravitate to him.”

Indeed, anyone who spends a day with this mayor can see that Bob Filner enjoys a uniquely understated brand of rapport with most “regular folks,” as the expression goes. Was that ease with voters, residents, families, youths and other constituents always part of this mayor’s personality? In a word, he says, “Yes.”

“Maybe it sounds corny to say it,” Filner explains. “But, they’re why I got into politics, into governing, to begin with. It’s that simple; I love the people of this country and this city.”

For the most part, Filner laments, the media seem to miss the story of his “connectedness” to the people he represents.

“Sometimes I don’t think they see past the personalities and hype surrounding only the most sensational issues,” Filner said. “The problem with that is not only does the fact that I get along with most people very nicely – I mean real people, like these San Diegans you see here (at a park in City Heights) – not only does that fact get missed, but the most important aspect of the issues we face in our city get missed.”

According to Filner, the most important aspect of any issue involving governance is how everyday people are affected by public policy decisions.

“Yet somehow, multinational corporations who own hotels in San Diego have the undistracted ear of those in power and in the media,” said Filner, who at the time of our interview had just taken a minor beating in the Tourism Management District (TMD) special assessment battle.

Indeed, seemingly lost amid the din of disdain for the mayor’s reticence to help hoteliers pay for their advertising and marketing, was the fact that every indication was that Filner had vast support from voters regarding his stance on TMD.

Mayor Bob Filner tells Vietnam War veterans their official city homecoming welcome proclamation has come.

“Of course, that was underreported,” he said. “I don’t know what the exact poll numbers were – if they were scientific polls – but no one can argue that voters didn’t support my decision to take a second look at this notion that government should help corporations pay for their marketing.”

The mayor’s refrain of incredulity toward TMD’s loudest went something like this: These guys usually say government can’t do anything right. Why now do they need us to be involved with their advertising campaigns?

In the end, however, Mayor Filner signed the TMD contract – albeit, with one caveat: Should the City be sued by citizens groups for footing the bill for private companies’ marketing plans; those companies – not the taxpayers – would be responsible for settlement payments or court-ordered damage awards.

By backing away from a full-fledged war with San Diego’s big hotels and all but one City councilmember, Mayor Filner probably preserved a great deal of political capital.

He may need that capital if he takes on some in the City who are dubious about the mayor’s plans for more housing for homeless veterans.

A former congressman and chair of the House Veterans Affairs Committee, Mayor Filner has called veterans the most underappreciated members of society. Historically even lower on the totem pole of appreciation for their sacrifices and service, according to Filner, have been LGBT veterans.

“These men and women have gone to war,” Filner said. “They’ve risked their lives for your freedom and mine; they’ve asked for nothing in return except that we treat them with respect and decency.

“Of course, they want and I believe have earned, the basic services they were promised when they enlisted – services like good health care, a chance to work, decent, affordable housing and the educational opportunities they’ve earned.”

Filner helping constituents at a park in City Heights pull off an impromptu photo opp.

As a congressman, Filner was a supporter of repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the now defunct Dept. of Defense policy that, until 2011, denied lesbian, gay and bisexual servicemembers the right to serve openly in the military. Filner now wants all servicemembers, including all LGBTs to be allowed to serve openly (transgender members are stilled barred).

Filner says he also wants equal benefits for LGBT servicemembers and their families.

“They’re not getting that now,” he said. “That’s not what America is about. That’s not what we’re sending gays and other LGBT soldiers abroad to fight for. Why shouldn’t they have the same rights and benefits for their families as straight soldiers, sailors and Air Force members? I think they should.”

Filner spent two months behind bars in Mississippi as a prisoner for protesting in favor of equal voting rights and civil rights protections for African Americans when he was 19, as one of the legendary Freedom Riders.

With a civil rights pedigree such as his, it’s comes as no surprise that Filner considers the worst mistake of his professional career to have been his vote, as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, in favor of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

“I wish I could undo it,” Filner told LGBT Weekly. “It was wrong, and I regretted it almost instantly.”

Our day with the mayor ended at a Cambodian New Year festival at a park in City Heights. There, the mayor was at home with a vastly diverse and quintessentially San Diegan mass of constituents.

There, he mingled contentedly with Pacific Islander Americans, Asian Americans, Latino Americans, African Americans, LGBTs and their families, as well as opposite-sex couples and traditional families – and even folks of European descent.

Mayor Bob Filner with revelers at a Cambodian New Year celebration

Circa 1993 President Bill Clinton – known for his kinship with the African American community – was introduced as “America’s first black president” to roaring applause from a mostly black crowd.

Allegorically, Mayor Filner was introduced at the 2013 Cambodian New Year celebration as “San Diego’s first Asian mayor.”

In fact, Bob Filner has earned affinity and loyalty from a wide swath of several minority communities. If this mayor holds true to his vow never to let the LGBT community down again in our fight for equality, he might one day be introduced as California’s first (honorary) gay governor.

Harvey Milk

As Harvey Milk Day approaches and thousands across the globe join to honor his memory and celebrate his message of hope, San Diego LGBT Weekly looks at how the Harvey Milk Foundation began and how, through the Foundation’s work, Harvey Milk’s vision continues to inspire individuals, communities and organizations throughout the world.

The biography of Harvey Milk is so well-known and thoroughly documented – perhaps none more famously so than in Randy Shilts’ choate The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk – that to a certain generation of gay men and women the events leading up to his assassination Monday, Nov. 27, 1978 can seem less like a political, social and civil fantasia of a certain time and place and more like the denouement to a five- or six-year revolution manifested by and through Harvey Bernard Milk.

But Milk was more than just a first of things – the first gay man appointed to the Board of Permit Appeals in 1976, making him the first openly gay city commissioner in the United States, or the first openly gay politician in the state of California. He was a gifted orator and public servant that reshaped the political landscape in a city where top-down politics defined the city’s ruling political elite.

Milk helped to reshape the city by using the collective power of the ‘every man’ who he was sure had just as much of a voice and a right in how the city should be run as the corporate entities with deep pockets and outsized influence. Milk was also a skilled facilitator who could bring disparate interests together to help achieve a common good.

His death at 48, which Milk himself frequently presaged by saying he didn’t expect to live past 50, was to become a symbol that Shilts saw as a “metaphor for the homosexual experience in America.” No gay figure had achieved so much in such a short amount of time so that his rise, death and the ultimate injustice of murderer Dan White’s sentence came to represent the experience of millions of gay men and women in this country.

After the justifiable outrage of assassin Dan White’s sentence had petered out, there were a raft of memorials, tributes and dedications inspired by his life.

But by 1995, the dawn of a new age was upon us as radicalism and revolution were being supplanted by a growing assimilationist movement. Suddenly it wasn’t solely about the right to love anyone you wanted but about serving in our military and getting married and tax benefits.

Harvey Milk, the icon, seemed farther and farther removed from a generation that could watch Tom Hanks win an Academy Award for playing a man dying of AIDS or the comic exploits of a group of sassy, martini-toting New Yorkers in Will and Grace.

But then came 2008, our nation’s first black president and a gay civil rights movement that was on the precipice of change the likes of which we had never seen. It was the year that director Gus Van Sant and writer Dustin Lance Black introduced a new generation to Harvey with the Academy Award-wining film Milk (2008).

The following year, President Obama issued the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Harvey stating, “In the brief time in which he spoke and ran and lead, his voice stirred the aspirations of millions of people.”

Accepting on his behalf was nephew Stuart Milk who was only seventeen when Harvey was gunned down. And it was then that Stuart launched the Harvey Milk Foundation as a challenge from another of that year’s recipients, Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

The foundation that Stuart started in 2009 has shaped itself to be more than just a historically named plaza or a symbol of gay self-empowerment. The goals are to enact the political and humanitarian philosophies that Harvey embodied.

The organization, with its vast cavern of resources for educators, community organizers, law enforcement officials and others serves a vital link between those who have and can and the marginalized communities here and throughout the world that live without hope.

I managed to catch Stuart to discuss some of the issues this his organization is challenged with, the role that the transgender community plays and the genesis of the Harvey Milk Foundation.

“75 percent of the world’s population lives east of Istanbul right up to the Pacific Ocean. It’s a very dark place. There’s darkness there,” Stuart said when I asked him to paint a picture of the state of LGBT affairs in the world. “And for the LGBT community it’s as bad since my uncle ran for office and in this case it’s worse than he could have ever imagined.”

So how, then, will the Foundation’s goals change as the world moves, albeit glacially, toward a more equality-based society? “Our goal, fighting for equality, fighting for global equality, does not change. Really, one of our watchwords, and actually not even a message of my uncle’s but Martin Luther King’s message that injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. So, unfortunately, we have not seen progress in the Middle East. We have not seen progress in Asia. We’ve seen a repeal of progress, a brutal repeal of progress in Central and Eastern Europe.”

When I asked him about the role of the transgender community, I framed it as a study in contrasts. Here, in the United States, there is very distinct progression. It wasn’t, after all, until the gay and lesbian community began to assert and then build a foundation for their equal rights we turned our attention to the injustices of the transgender community. But Stuart made it clear that the Harvey Milk Foundation has no time for a hierarchal distribution of rights. “One of the few things we insist on when we go somewhere is fully inclusive quality work. So if we go into a region or a country or a continent that won’t be inclusive of the transgender community then we say we won’t be the right match for them. Luckily, we have been very successful.”

Citing one example of the work the Harvey Milk Foundation has done with the transgender community, Stuart pointed out that, “One of the most inspiring things we did last year – and we had to push until the last minute – for the first time ever, a panel of transgender leaders was elected, some on television, from all five continents that come together for a global summit we did in Milan. That was the first time it was ever done. People in Italy were afraid of it. People in Asia were afraid of it. When they got to see these wonderful transgender activists talk about their struggle, talk about the hypocrisy, it really opened up the doors.”

He continued, “Having said that, I think it’s important in the United States and in Western Europe and in places where we have seen progress, to recognize that the transgender community has stood with us, has stood up for us from the very beginning whether it was Stonewall or back in 2008 when it was the first time we were successful in having a Pride parade in Taksim Square in Istanbul. When the Turkish police had their water cannons and their assault rifles focused on me and Mechthild Rawert (MP of the Deutscher Bundestag and Harvey Milk Foundation board director); when we were faced with cocked machine guns and water cannons, the community that walked toward us and not away from us was the transgender community. And we have seen that throughout our history and it’s important we tell that history.”

San Diego City Commissioner Nicole Murray Ramirez who is the national chair of Harvey Milk Day 2013 and has accompanied Stuart Milk on a number of his overseas trips acknowledged the importance of the work the Foundation is doing and particularly the contribution of Stuart Milk himself. “Harvey Milk has indeed become a global icon and martyr for millions of LGBT people across the globe. People are hungry for this and to witness people from some of the most oppressed countries in the world embrace this American and see the light of hope in their eyes is something to behold.”

Murray Ramirez continued, “I have had the privilege of accompanying Stuart on some of his foreign trips and Stuart is not simply walking in his uncle’s footsteps, as some say, but he is taking his own journey and he is giving comfort and hope to our global brothers and sisters. Stuart enters these hostile environments, facing all kinds of threats, and continues to deliver these messages of hope that ensure the legacy of Harvey Milk lives on.”

Speaking of the day Stuart went to the White House in 2009 to accept the Presidential Medal of Freedom on behalf of his uncle; he retold how it all began.

“I had brought a couple of people with me and one of the people I brought with me was Anne Kronenberg, who is my friend and was Harvey’s campaign manager and his friend. So I was in the carpeted area of the White House with the president, the first lady and the thirteen people who were actually receiving the [Presidential] Medal of Freedom for themselves.

“And it was Desmond Tutu who was engaged in a conversation with us and he asked me what I was doing. And I said that I spoke at memorials for two decades and had been the spokesperson for the family. And he pointed a finger amongst all these people, including Justice Sandra Day O’Connor and Sidney Poitier and Chita Rivera and he said, ‘You have to do more. There’s a lot of infighting in the LGBT community. There is not a rallying point; there’s not a rallying person and LGBT people are discriminated against everywhere. I can’t say that for people of color. Harvey and his legacy and his message can free all those people. You must do more.’ And that was really the challenge that got us started with the foundation.”

Stuart Milk speaks at the dedication of Harvey Milk Street in San Diego May 2, 2012.

The Harvey Milk Foundation works on a shoestring budget relying almost entirely on donations.

But one way in which we can do good is by embodying the spirit and the principles of Harvey Milk who offered hope but wanted us to work together to affect change.

For more information visit MilkFoundation.org

If Jane Austen were alive and a writer of technology, she might open this piece thusly: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of an iPhone 5. Or a Samsung Galaxy 4. Or a tablet. Or one of a dozen other gadgets or technologies that transform our lives almost daily. But as any student of Pride and Prejudice knows, Austen wasn’t stating a universal truth but, rather, mocking the assumptions of her milieu.

And so we find exactly two hundred years later, that as a culture we still tend to make certain assumptions about our behavior that have little basis in fact. One of them is that the LGBT communities, and especially gay men, are early adopters of technology.

And why shouldn’t we believe it? After all, it is everywhere in the media. When Paul Saffo, a tech blogger and Stanford University educator, grandiloquently declares that, “there’s something slightly indefinable about gay males that make them early adopters and important leading edge indicators,” aren’t we more prone to confirm our own vain assumptions about ourselves as a community on the ‘leading edge,’ despite some obscure reference to the ‘slightly indefinable’?

Or when Jaime Woo, the author of Meet Grindr: How One App Changed the Way We Connect, tells the New York Times that “gay men are early adopters,” aren’t our own beliefs being validated by the official paper of record?

The problem, however, isn’t in the assumptions we make about ourselves – all gay men are fashion forward, martini-swilling, sharp-tongued urbanites – but that so little empirical data has been found to justify these assumptions.

Tim Evanson, a researcher and social scientist from Washington, D.C. lays bare the myths. “There is almost no real empirical evidence that LGBT people are early adopters of technology. Most such claims are assertions, often coming from self-interested technology companies or companies promoting marketing to the LGBT community.

There are studies which claim to find evidence of this. One is a 2003 study by Forrester Research, which surveyed 60,000 households and asked them about their technology buying habits and use. Forrester has done this for years, but in 2003 Forrester specifically asked households to self-identify their sexual orientation.

From this survey, Forrester Research said gays were wealthier and better educated; 80 percent of gay men and 76 percent of lesbians were online (compared with 70 percent of straight men and 69 percent of straight women); gays were 33 percent more likely to have broadband connections and have been online longer than heterosexuals.

The problem, Evanson observes, is that we don’t know how those used in the survey were selected. We don’t know how Forrester Research selected these 60,000 households for their research. Randomly? Self-selection? From people who showed up at Apple stores? We just don’t know. A random sample is the best, but we can’t tell if Forrester used a random sample.

But early adopters by their very definition must have the means to purchase the first smartphones and smart TVs and electric cars. Many surveys indicate that gay men and lesbian women, many without the financial burdens that come with childrearing, are, in fact statistically wealthier and are better educated.

According to a 2012 Prudential survey of more than 1,000 LGBT people, respondents not only reported significantly higher annual incomes but they also carried less in debt than the average American and had more in household savings.

In a CNNMoney report Michele Meyer-Shipp, chief diversity officer at Prudential said, “To start, LGBT individuals are generally well-educated, with more than half of respondents receiving at least a bachelor’s degree, and tend to live in higher-income areas. It flows down – you have a higher level of education, access to higher paying jobs in areas where there are good salaries, and more disposable income to allocate to things like saving and retirement.”

Other data has found that denying LGBT people equal access to family benefits and other civil rights may be contributing to higher poverty rates in the LGBT community than in the general population overall.

Despite assumptions rife with fallacy, you’d be hard pressed to convince Morris Chapdelaine, the co-founder of the social mobility app Guy Spy, or Bo Andras, of San Diego’s homegrown Pride Card, that the LGBT community aren’t early adopters of technology, highbrow or otherwise.

Chapdelaine, whose site recently topped one million members, is certain that gay men are early adopters. “The gay community has always been early adopters of new technology … we crave new things, new ways to make our lives better. We consider ourselves trend setters. We also come from a history of seeking out new and innovative ways to meet others like ourselves in a safe and positive way.”

Andras, whose Pride Card features discounts at 300 gay and gay-friendly businesses and boasts 12,000 card-carrying members, explains the concept of early adoption from a much different perspective. “The Pride Card is an affinity card that allows businesses to show their support for equal rights while offering special discounts to cardholders. After the passage of Proposition 8, we wanted to create a discount card that promoted businesses that support equal rights for everyone. It was heartening to have so many businesses that were willing to step forward to say we are all equal under the law, in spite of significant opposition from others.”

Stampp Corbin, Andras’ business partner on the Pride Card said, “While the Pride Card has been very successful, we are now seeing the quick adoption of our mobile app. Gay men in particular have been on the forefront of social media for many years by using hook-up sites like Adam4Adam.”

Despite the paucity of empirical data on the subject Corbin, Andras and Chapdelaine may have a stronger argument for how the use of technology is more widely disseminated in the LGBT community together with its early adoption. And as the saying goes, perception is everything.

With the arrival of spring in San Diego come longer days, more sunshine and a plethora of home improvement projects just waiting to get started. Whether you’re updating your home or your yard, San Diego LGBT Weekly checked up on some local businesses that have the knowledge, tools and resources to help. Even better, all of these retailers are LGBT-friendly!

Spring often signals the start of the building and remodeling season and San Diego’s hardware stores are ready to help. From repainting to updating kitchens and bathrooms, stores such as Hillcrest ACE Hardware and San Diego Hardware have the supplies needed to get the job done.

In the heart of Hillcrest, ACE Hardware has served the community for nearly 18 years and offers residents a local alternative to driving to the big box home improvement stores in Mission Valley.

“Customer service is our number one priority and we insist all customers and employees are treated equally,” said Kathy Gorman, buyer for ACE Hardware in Hillcrest. “We even treat the pets equally … and all pets are invited to accompany their owners into the store.”

Active in the community since its opening, ACE Hardware regularly donates to LGBT causes and has hired several people from Stepping Stone, a non-profit drug and alcohol recovery program targeted at LGBT individuals.

“We open early morning during the Pride parade to assist The Center and floats with any last minute emergencies and then close for the day so all employees can celebrate,” Gorman said.

Whether your spring home improvement needs include electrical, plumbing, gardening or painting, Hillcrest ACE Hardware has it all.

Gorman suggests checking out their selection of Mythic paint, which contains no toxic solvents or odors and helps to eliminate the negative health effects often associated with paint. The store is one of only three stores in San Diego to carry this painting alternative, according to Gorman.

Journey outside of Hillcrest and find one of the oldest hardware stores in San Diego. Founded in 1882, San Diego Hardware has catered to local’s home improvement needs for more than 120 years.

Although it began as an everyday hardware store serving downtown San Diego’s early residents, it has transitioned in recent years to specialize in decorative hardware and moved to a new location in Kearny Mesa in 2006.

Today, San Diego Hardware specializes in an assortment of cabinet, door and plumbing hardware for kitchens, bathrooms and more.

“The hardware industry is slow to change but for sure the products with more clean lines and contemporary products still rule the roost and typically in a brushed nickel finish,” San Diego Hardware co-owner Bill Haynsworth said.

Haynsworth expects a surge in cabinet and door hardware sales as the spring remodeling and construction season begins.

With more than four decades of experience working at San Diego Hardware, Haynsworth knows the ins and outs of the business. He began working in the store as a teenager and eventually bought it from his father, along with friend Rip Fleming.

At the suggestion of his ad agency, Haynsworth recently began advertising to the LGBT community.

“We’re really pleased with the response,” Haynsworth said. “We have many great customers from the LGBT community and welcome everybody with open arms.”

Spruce up the outdoors

Although San Diegans are lucky enough to live in a mild climate that allows for plenty of time outdoors year-round, the longer daylight hours of spring signal the start of many outside decorating projects. Whether you’re looking to create a colorful garden oasis or a peaceful patio setting, this is the perfect time to embark on an outdoor remodeling adventure.

Want to lay decorative flagstone to create unique walkways, build outdoor fireplaces with bricks or create stunning gardens with boulder accents? Visit Southwest Boulder. The Pacific Beach location, one of five in Southern California, offers an assortment of stones to suit your landscaping needs, ranging from tiny pebbles to large decorative boulders.

It’s also home to the best selection of flagstone in San Diego County, according to Jonathan Bechtol, who is in charge of marketing and IT at Southwest Boulder.

The store offers more than just the supplies; it also provides free workshops to the public on various landscaping trends.

“As far as smaller projects people are working on, designing terrariums for their homes is really big. We recently had a workshop on that very topic in Pacific Beach,” said Bechtol. “Also, designing with California native plants and exploring permaculture is really big right now.”

Southwest Boulder’s Fallbrook store will host a Habitat Restoration with California Natives April 13 at 10 a.m. The workshop will demonstrate ways to create a natural landscape using plants that are native to the area.

If the exterior of your home is in need of some extra love and maintenance this spring, Nurse Stucco can help. For more than 30 years, Nurse Stucco has served the San Diego area by providing new stucco finishes, stucco recoating and repair services.

While stucco walls have been around for centuries and were even used in Ancient Greece, modern technologies have allowed for new finishes, breathing new life into this old material. Stucco is available in an assortment of colors and is easy to maintain.

Nurse Stucco, owned by brothers Blaine and Darren Nurse, officially began in 2000 but is an offshoot of their father’s original stucco and plaster business. Both brothers began working in the stucco business for their father in 1981.

Based in Lakeside, Nurse Stucco works on homes throughout San Diego, Riverside and Imperial Counties.

Improve your interior

Perhaps instead of a drastic remodeling project, you simply want to freshen up the appearance of your home furnishings. Replacing an old sofa or even just upgrading with a new cover can do wonders for brightening and improving the visual quality of your home.

Metro Decor and Creative Futons, two San Diego-based furniture companies, offer an assortment of sofas, bedding and more to give your home a new look this spring.

For more than three decades, Metro Decor has provided quality furniture at affordable prices. Choose from a variety of stylish options or take advantage of Metro Decor’s custom-made sofas and special order your dream couch by choosing the fabric, color and more.

Check out the furniture options in Metro Decor’s main showroom, located just off Interstates 5 and 8.

Founded by Leslee Evans in 1987, Creative Futons, quickly outgrew its station at Koby’s Swap Meet and moved into its North Park store in 1990.

Seeking to create a higher quality futon that maintained its shape and comfort level, Evans started making her own mattresses. New mattress technology, such as memory foam, allows for more comfort and a better night’s sleep.

Located also in Hillcrest at 3734 Sixth Ave., Creative Futons offers more than just futon mattresses. Choose from a variety of futon frames and fun, festive color schemes, including island, southwest and contemporary.

So, dust off those cobwebs and get planning your spring home improvement project. With a little help from these LGBT-friendly businesses you’ll have your home shipshape in no time.

home improvement spotlight

How to choose the right window treatments

By Denise Teuffer, decormywindows.com

There are many things to consider when choosing your window treatments, such as privacy, style, light source, color, window shape energy efficiency, UV protection and safety.

Window treatments are classified in two categories: soft and hard window treatments.

Soft window treatments are draperies, Roman shades, valances and swags among other fabric treatments. If you prefer a more casual and relaxed look the more popular styles now are simple, classic styles with natural fabrics like linens, cotton and silks hung on simple black, pewter or wood poles, often with rings. There are different top header drape styles and the best known are the timeless classic French or pinch pleat. The other modern classic is the tailored pleat. These two styles are highly recommended for areas that will open and close frequently. Grommet top drapes are popular for a modern, sleek look used in interior and exterior draperies.

Hard window treatments are shutters, horizontal wood blinds, faux blinds, mini blinds, vertical blinds, roller shades, solar shades and woven wood shades. These styles of blinds are adjustable to accommodate the light’s diffusing properties. These products suit both modern and traditional décor with their variety of colors and textures, filling any room with style in an instant. Some, like the roller shades, are sleek, minimal and modern. Roller shades are available in solar, light filtering and blackout materials. Solar shades absorb heat and block UV rays while still preserving your view. Blackout shades provide total privacy plus give you the comfort of light blocking.

If you do not want to cover the whole window the more trendy and functional in performance is the layered look, mostly achieved with a roller shade or blind under draperies or side panels. These are draperies hung for decorative purposes only on each side of the window. Just make sure your side panels have enough fullness in them, or they will look skimpy. Side panels look best when they are floor length, or puddled.

The most important thing to remember when choosing your window treatment is that it should suit your needs and create the feel and style that you want in your home. If you are not confident in doing this yourself, get help! Find pictures of styles that appeal to you and show them to your decorator or window covering specialist. If you want draperies, make sure that any draperies you buy are well-made, from good quality fabric. If you can’t afford to do everything you want at once, start with the most functional layer (blinds, shades or sheers) and then add the next layer (draperies, valances, side panels) later.

There are some very serious gay baseball fans out there who rank players by batting average and wins above replacement (WAR). The rest rank them by attraction and aspiration: who’s hot, who might be gay and who must be gay.

Most gay Padres fans in the early ’90s no doubt put boyishly handsome outfielder Billy Bean on the first two lists. Those who had him on the “must be gay” list share a unique status among baseball observers: they are sure they were right.

In 1999, a few years after retiring from the Padres, Bean came out of the closet in an interview with Dianne Sawyer, followed by his book Going the Other Way: Lessons from a Life in and out of Major League Baseball. 14 years later, he remains the only openly gay current or former Major League player.

In April, Bean is coming back to San Diego as a special guest for San Diego LGBT Pride’s Out at the Park, where he will be at the tailgate party and later on the field. It will be the first time Bean has been on a major league field since leaving baseball. I got the chance to chat with him about his visit, his life and the status of gays in professional sports.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: How did you choose to do Out at the Park?

Billy Bean: [LGBT Weekly publisher] Stampp Corbin called me … and said, “Do you want to do it this year?” I said, listen, whatever I can do to help the San Diego community. I’m excited about it, and I’m happy to sort of be there with life turning around instead of hiding like I was 20 years ago.

Is San Diego the city you played in that you connect with the most?

Absolutely. I have some fond memories of Detroit, but I think San Diego sticks out because I got to play the most and I felt like I believed in myself as a Major League baseball player, and unfortunately the loss of my partner.

When I look back and think about my career, I usually think of myself wearing a Padres uniform. I had some very close friends on that team, and have remained close to a few of them, so it is definitely the most special memories that I have.

I also had a couple of wonderful experiences when my book first came out, with turn out and support.

Can you talk about the day of your first home run?

I was at home … [a couple of guys on the team] wanted me to go out and have a few beers and celebrate. I lived in a place in Del Mar and my garage was on the basement level. When someone knocked on the door, I told my partner Sam, “You gotta go downstairs and get in the car,” and he sat in the garage for a couple of hours by himself. It was a stinging reminder of the way I looked at my own life, either lying or hiding something.

The story for me is that the happiest moment of my professional career turned into one of the worst days of my life, and in minutes. Unfortunately, I was posed a decision, and the one I made wasn’t kind. My partner understood, but I hurt his feelings and hurt my own feelings at the same time.

In a perfect world, or my world now, my partner and I would be sitting there, and if someone knocked on the door, we would have them come in. It would have been a great moment.

Was there backlash from players when you came out?

No, none at all, but that’s not really a fair assessment of what it would be like for a player who is still playing and walking out on the field.

I had been out of baseball for a couple of years, and I was kind of a good old guy when I played, and I was happy with the response of players. Definitely there were a few religious, like right wing, born again Christian kind of athletes who said they would not have been comfortable with me on the team; not because of me, but because I’m gay. They seemed to be in that mindset that if [someone is] gay, [they are] going to want to be with you just because you are the same sex. Dealing with that kind of antiquated mindset … there is nothing that any of us can do to change those people except live our lives the way we do. That part didn’t bother me.

The comments that I got from guys that made it to the big leagues that I played with in college, that knew me for years, and then my teammates, it was 100 percent [positive] across the board.

The guys who said they wouldn’t have been comfortable with me … I had never played on the same team as any of those guys, so it was really kind of a theoretical question about a gay teammate, not Billy Bean as your teammate.

What about the fans?

The aggressive nature of fans, that’s part of baseball, regardless of what your sexuality is. The fans rag on players. In San Francisco, they have great fans, they rip on players there, and in New York City, San Diego, wherever. Dodger stadium has become a very difficult place for visiting players to play.

Do events like Out at the Park help teams make space for openly gay players?

I think if there is a gay person in the dugout on either one of the teams that night, they are going to see someone like me and see that I played. If I had seen that, I wouldn’t have quit. I would have been like, “OK, someone else is going through what I [am] dealing with, and I can still make it.” My biggest regret in my life is feeling that I didn’t belong out there after 10 years.

I think when fans see the team embracing a group of people that are just as much a part of their fan base as any other group, it lets the air out and it makes people a little bit closer. I think that part is what makes me feel like it is worthwhile to come down here. San Diego people can put a face to baseball and a bridge between the two worlds, and I think only good things can come from it.

Will we see you in San Diego again soon?

I love San Diego very much … it is somewhere that I would entertain living for sure.

Actually, I was out in Palm Springs two weekends ago for the Indian Wells tennis tournament. I love tennis, and about 10 guys came up who are tennis players in the gay community from San Diego playing in the tournament. I got to meet a lot of guys, and I know a couple of guys that run the gay tennis summer tournament down in San Diego, and the guys were great and it was fun. I think I might even consider playing in the tournament this summer, which would be fun, and a homecoming of sorts.

When someone comes out in baseball, will it be a great college player who is out, someone already on a team, or will it have to be a superstar?

I have always thought of it as a player who is already there, and given the sort of interested nature we all have, [probably from] somebody wanting to out people. I would love for it to be a superstar of some magnitude, to make that decision on their own, to be able to play comfortably. I hope it is a positive environment and experience for people. For a player on a day to day basis, if you ask any player, [coming out] is a lot. It’s going to be a heavy weight to carry for a while. So he’s gonna need a lot of support.

There were recent reports of NFL teams asking draft prospects about their sexuality. Do you think baseball works subtly, or overtly, to keep people in the closet?

The secret, I think, is that most teams would still prefer not to deal with it, but nobody is going to come out and say it. We’re sort of evolving in the right direction, which sounds odd … where we are “If you can play, you can play”, and with the athlete allies, we’re seeing progress toward inclusion.

I think it’s still a little nervous for teams to deal with because it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe the third or fourth experience is going to be nothing. The first one is going to be interesting because nobody can see how it will play out.

I played almost 11 years, and nobody knew I was gay because I was a baseball player and I wasn’t going to do anything to compromise that part of my life. It’s very hard to get to the big leagues. Anyone who makes it to the top of their world, in whatever profession, I don’t think they put their sexuality in front of their passion. That’s why I think most athletes are still afraid to do it. It’s just a big question mark.

When you were playing, how did you meet guys? Did you go out in Hillcrest?

No, I was married early in my career to a girl I went to college with, and I met my partner Sam in a gym in the off season.

My name was really easy to remember, and we did a lot of public service announcements for the Padres, and appearances, and charity stuff. I thought I could never go to a bar because someone would see me or might find out. [Also] in those days, when you were an athlete, you didn’t go out drinking. I was as fit as possible, and a night out for me was one margarita with Mexican food. Now, I enjoy more than anything going out and being around lots of people and sharing things, but at the time I didn’t know what I was missing out on.

Assuming that there are some gay players, do you think that the media looks the other way? Should they do more or less than they do?

I think any writer would love to be the first to find out [that a player is gay]. I just think guys are very, very careful now. If they wanted people to know, it would happen. If they don’t, [they] just find ways not to put [themselves] in those situations. I never talked about gay stuff … if I saw the Oprah Winfrey show on in the trainer’s room and she was talking about gay things, I walked out of there.

I know that people don’t understand the pressure for an athlete if he’s single and he doesn’t have a girlfriend … and doesn’t like to go to strip bars or whatever players do. People are going to talk. So you cover it up. I know I did. I was ashamed of it.

I don’t think there’s the meanness, like in Hollywood, where they want to out actors who pretend that they’re straight because they want to stay famous. When I was playing, I felt like most of [the writers] wanted to stick to baseball. The superstars who had troubles, like Darryl Strawberry, who I played with on the Dodgers, they obviously did write about that. Each situation is unique.

San Diego Sparks

There’s no doubt about it. San Diego is a great city to live in if you’re an athlete and a member of the LGBT community.

With many LGBT-founded leagues and teams in the area, there are opportunities for practically any sports fan. Athletes of all skill levels are welcome to join, compete and, perhaps most importantly, have fun in a safe and welcoming environment. Although it’s not a requirement to be gay to join any of these teams, the majority of the members are and all members are gay-friendly.

While joining a sporting team is great for your health, it’s also wonderful for your social life. Many of these leagues plan other non-athletic events and activities as well.

San Diego American Flag Football League

While the San Diego American Flag Football League (SDAFFL) may be one of the newer LGBT-friendly sporting leagues in the area, it’s also one of the fastest growing. Since 2004, the SDAFFL has grown to more than 250 players, men and women, spread throughout 16 teams. One of the league’s teams, the San Diego Bolts, won the Gay Bowl XII, a flag football national championship, last year.

Experience level isn’t a factor with the non-profit league and the teams are evenly mixed with experienced athletes and newcomers to the sport. Everyone plays as one division and everyone gets a chance to participate.

“For me, it has always been a personal mission to target people who have never played an organized team sport before,” said Russ Edra, PR representative for SDAFFL. “Maybe those folks who growing up were bullied or called sissy or were the last kid picked on a team.” The Flag Football League strives to make everyone feel included, on and off the field. They regularly get together after Saturday games in La Jolla and hang out at a sponsored bar. On some occasions, as many as 200 players and supporters attend these post-game gatherings.

As a way to give back to the community, the SDAFFL participates in various charities, including joining the other LGBT-friendly sporting leagues in contributing to a fundraiser every Christmas.

About 85 percent of the league’s members are gay and the league is open to both gay and straight players.

“It started with a bunch of guys just wanting to play football and drink beer,” said Edra, who has played in the league since 2011. “It developed into one of the largest leagues of its kind in the nation.”

The SDAFFL is currently in the midst of its season, which ends in June. For those interested in participating next year, clinics and the draft take place at the beginning of the year. For more information, visit sdffl.org

Step up to the plate with America’s Finest City Softball League

As the oldest consecutively-running adult softball league in San Diego County, America’s Finest City Softball League (AFCSL) has quite the history. Created by and for the LGBT community in 1981, the league has grown from two or three teams to include more than 500 players on 40 teams this year.

“In 32 years we have never lost sight of being a welcoming place for everyone,” said manager and player Roman Jimenez. “If you’re that athlete who grew up playing sports and who feels at home on the softball diamond, or you’re the player who grew up being the awkward kid always last picked for dodge ball, we have a place for you, whether you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.”

While more than 95 percent of the leagues members are part of the LGBT community, the AFCSL welcomes non-gay members as well.

The AFCSL is split into halves: the Open Division for men and women and the Women’s Division. Each half is further split into divisions based on skill level to ensure a fun and competitive environment for all players.

In addition to the spring and fall seasons, there are several major sporting events in which the league participates. The Autumn Classic Softball Tournament, held every October, is the third largest annual gay sporting event in the world. The best players in the Open Division and Women’s Division also participate in, respectively, the Gay Softball World Series and the Women’s Softball World Series.

Aside from practices and games, members of the AFCSL also enjoy various social events, including the San Diego Pride Festival and Out at the Park, a yearly trip to Petco Park.

“To me, this organization is about family,” Jimenez said. “My ‘family’ plays here. Softball is the means through which we socialize, get caught up, mend each other’s broken hearts, celebrate our successes and mourn each other’s all-too-early passing. It’s where many of us meet our partners in crime, and where we meet our partners in life.”

For more information, visit afcsl.org

Score a goal with the San Diego Sparks

In 1986, Leslie Randolph moved from New York to San Diego and founded the first gay soccer team in the city, the San Diego Sparks. Nearly 27 years later, it’s still the only official gay team in the San Diego County Soccer League.

The Sparks, who are currently first in the league, have traveled to and won several international tournaments. The team plans to compete in the third World Outgames in Belgium this summer.

Not all members of the team participate competitively and there is no requirement for a certain experience level. While the more advanced players take the field on Sundays to compete in league games, other team members gather to practice in Balboa Park.

“We want people out there who have a good attitude about soccer,” Randolph said. “There are no specific requirements for joining the club. We just expect that people will want to come out and have that special camaraderie and special feeling of having a second family.”

The team, along with some of its former members, gathers for social events off the field as well. In addition to marching in the San Diego LGBT Pride parade, they regularly meet for parties, dinner and trips to the movies.

San Diego Flag Football League

Although the team started as a co-ed team, the women broke off in the late 1980s and the team is now men-only. The majority of the members are gay but straight men are welcome to join as well.

“We are always looking for players, specifically a goalkeeper right now,” said Randolph. “We love it when we get skilled players so they can join us at the different tournaments throughout the world. But we take what we get and teach people to play the game.”

For more information, visit sparkssoccer.org

Swim with Different Strokes Swim Team

Founded in 1985, the Different Strokes Swim Team (DSST) is one of the oldest gay sports teams in San Diego. It began as a place for swimmers to practice and have fun together at a time when there weren’t a lot of gay-friendly opportunities.

“A few decades ago when the team was started, it was one of the few gay outlets where people could be themselves,” said Robert Lucas, swimmer and webmaster/publicity for DSST. “As people have more outlets and are accepted more generally in society, the team has gone from being the center of many members’ social lives to just one aspect.”

From 1985-2002, the swim team has sent members to compete in select Gay Games. Recently, the team size has dwindled and now consists of mainly recreational swimmers with just a few competitive swimmers.

Annual charity events and monthly social gatherings and fundraisers encourage members “to get to know each other better and meet their better halves,” according to Lucas. Different Strokes participates in the LGBT Pride parade and members often get together for holidays.

An annual charity event, the Bart Hopple Memorial Swim, scheduled for May 19 and named in honor of the team’s co-founder, raises money for people living with HIV/AIDS. In an effort to reach out to a broader swimming community, the club will also hold a recreational race, The Flaming Gatorman, Sept. 7.

Different Strokes is always looking for new members and as an added incentive, new members can swim for free for two weeks. Men and women of all skill levels are welcome and coaches are available to help newer swimmers.

“It can be tough for new members to come to a practice cold and not know anyone,” acknowledged Lucas, “but our coaches will make you feel welcome and we’ll have plenty of eye candy to make it worth your while!”

For more information, visit dsst.org

additional LGBT-friendly sporting leagues

San Diego Hoops

Since 1999, San Diego Hoops has provided the LGBT community with a fun, welcoming place to slam dunk. The league currently consists of nine teams that play an 18-week schedule from October through March. During the off season, they participate in an open gym practice. Both men and women are welcome to join. sdhoops.net

San Diego Pool League

Open to anyone 21 years of age and older, the San Diego Pool League welcomes all participants regardless of sexual orientation. There are two seasons, spring and fall, and teams are divided into divisions based on experience level. sdpool.org

San Diego Gay Bowling

San Diego Gay Bowling offers a variety of leagues, including the Rainbow League, High Rollers and Easy Pickups. The league uses a handicap system to even out the playing field and all experience levels are welcome. About 95 percent of the league participants, men and women, are gay and the remaining are gay-friendly. sdgaybowling.org

Rainbow Dart League

Join this competitive dart league and enjoy weekly meetings at a variety of bars throughout San Diego. Contact Rod George at rodsd@aol.com for more information.

The San Diego Armada Rugby Club

This men’s rugby club welcomes all gay and minority men and fosters social and community interactions that are a natural outgrowth of team sports. sdarmada.com

San Diego Surfers Women’s Rugby Club

Since in 1975, women have joined the San Diego Surfers for a fun, competitive time. All levels of rugby experience are welcome and everyone is invited to join as a player or spectator. sdsurfersrugby.com

San Diego Tennis Federation

With more than 200 members, the SDTF offers tennis players a competitive and social environment. The gay and lesbian, non-profit organization is open to every level from beginner to advanced and plays year-round. sdtf.org

San Diego Wrestling Club

Practice amateur wrestling in a club that is accepting of all people regardless of skill level or sexual orientation. The San Diego Wrestling Club was founded in 1998 and is open to anyone over the age of 18. sdwrestling.org

North Park Family Health Center

Imagine you’re a young transgender man or woman without insurance and need hormone therapy. Or you’re a lesbian who has lost her job with health benefits and has discovered a lump in her breast. Or you’re a gay man living on the streets and need HIV monitoring and medications. Who do you turn to? Where do you go for help?

Family Health Centers of San Diego is a non-profit community health center organization whose mission is to provide compassionate, affordable, high quality care to everyone, especially uninsured, low-income and medically underserved persons. Established in 1970, the operation has grown to include thirty-three locations, including 13 primary care facilities, 3 dental care clinics, 1 HIV clinic, 3 mobile units and comprehensive supportive services.

The need for affordable health care has never been greater. By some estimates, as many as 600,000 San Diego County residents, including 150,000 children, lack health insurance.

In 2011, Family Health Centers provided essential and life-changing health care for more than 165,000 individuals, during more than 625,000 patient encounters. But the care does not come without a price. Family Health Centers estimates that it costs an average of $165 for a standard primary care visit, and funding is always a concern. To meet the need, Family Health Centers partners with numerous local businesses and corporations, and also relies on government grants and donations from caring citizens.

I mention this because I recently had the opportunity to speak with Ben Avey, government and media relations liaison for Family Health Centers (FHC), to talk about their work and where they’re going.

Lance Ryder: What does FHC do well? How could FHC be improved?

Ben Avey: What we do well is provide a broad range of high-quality health care to people most in need. The breadth of our services is a direct result of our commitment to meet the necessities of the local community. But it also presents us with a challenge as we strive to let those in need know that we’re here for them. Many people know us as the largest provider of HIV prevention and treatment services in San Diego County, yet they don’t know that we also provide prenatal and pediatric services. Others may know us for Tuesday/Thursday Night Clinic, our STD clinic for gay men and transgender people, but don’t know that we also offer dental services and mental health services. We need to do a better job of telling our story and encouraging those we serve to share their story.

What impact will sequestration and associated federal budget cuts have on FHC programs?

It’s a sad reality that as the need for affordable health care and supportive services continues to increase, funding for those programs continues to go down. The same has been true since the beginning of the economic downturn and will continue to be true with sequestration. The programs hardest hit will be those that we struggle to fund but continue to operate in order to meet an unmet community need. San Diego is very lucky to have strong representation in Washington, D.C. and we hope that they will help find a resolution to this matter soon.

What impact do you anticipate the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act will have on FHC services?

Our mission has always driven us to serve those who are most in need, and we likely already serve many of the people who will become insured when the law is fully implemented in 2014. However, it has given us the opportunity to raise the bar and make sure that we are providing those patients with the highest quality of care and presenting new patients with the opportunity to choose Family Health Centers of San Diego as their medical home.

In recent years, we have expanded our system of health centers to include new or expanded health centers in Lemon Grove, City Heights, downtown and Chula Vista. We have a new health center under construction in Southeast San Diego and a school-based health center under development in City Heights.

Ben Avey

We’re aware that millions of people in California will remain uninsured even after the law is implemented, and it’s our mission to ensure that they, too, have a medical home at Family Health Centers of San Diego.

The Centers for Disease Control has reported an increase in syphilis cases among gay men. Have you also seen an increase in infections?

We are very active in working to identify and treat people with STD infections. We offer testing in a variety of locations including our Tuesday/Thursday Night Clinic.

We report data related to STD’s to the County of San Diego. For specific STD data, I would defer to the County of San Diego HIV, STD and Hepatitis branch.

How can San Diego LGBT Weekly readers help FHC? Are donations tax deductible?

Family Health Centers of San Diego is a 501(c)(3) organization and all donations are tax deductible. Donations can be made on our Web site at fhcsd.org, or by calling 619-515-2562, or emailing jamiew@fhcsd.org.

Family Health Centers of San Diego could not operate without the support of local community partners, whether they are government agencies, social groups or individual donors who care. We were very fortunate to be selected by Bears San Diego as their charity of choice for their annual Bears Care Rummage Sale in 2012, and hope to build similar relationships with other philanthropic organizations.

Let’s talk about Family Health Centers’ budget. What percentage goes to patient programs and what percentage goes to pay administrative costs and salaries?

Due to the changing nature of health care, it is very easy to confuse the line between patient programs and administrative costs. Health care is more than a doctor in an office providing an exam. It’s having someone help you enroll in safety-net insurance programs like Medi-Cal or the Low Income Health Program. It’s having health educators in the community teaching people about safer sex and prevention. It’s about caring for the whole patient, rather than waiting for them to arrive at the health center when they are sick.

Donations to Family Health Centers of San Diego support our ability to provide health care to those who have the greatest need. For uninsured patients, there is often a wide gap between the amount they pay us for services, based on our discounted sliding fee scale, and the actual cost of care. Donations to Family Health Centers of San Diego help us bridge that gap to ensure that our affordable, high quality health care services remain available and accessible to everyone.

Where will FHC be in five years? What’s on the horizon?

In five years, we will be wherever the community needs us to be. Since our founding in 1970, we have worked to identify and meet the needs of the local community and that’s what ultimately drives the direction and growth of our organization.

North Park HIV Coordinated Services Center

RESOURCES:

FHCSD HIV Services www.fhcsd.org/services/hiv.cfm

Gay Men’s Health www.gaymenshealth.org

County HIV/STD Statistics tinyurl.com/hiv-std-stats

John O’Connor

John O’Connor was appointed as executive director of Equality California (EQCA) December 2012. O’Connor brings much experience to the role with more than 15 years of cause-related work and a strong record of accomplishment.

In his previous role as executive director of the LGBT Community Center of the Desert, O’Connor planned and executed a complete turnaround and restructuring of the organization with strong results including a more engaged board of directors, a new identity, a dramatically improved reputation and robust new programming.

In a recent visit to San Diego O’Connor found time to talk to San Diego LGBT Weekly and tell us of his vision going forward with Equality California.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: 2012 was a momentous year for LGBT equality. How can EQCA capitalize on that and keep the momentum going in 2013?

John O’Connor: Well, 2012 was an extraordinary year for LGBT equality, and after the inauguration, 2013 is shaping up to be an extraordinary year as well; and all of this momentum and attention gives us an opportunity to illuminate the range of concerns within the LGBT equality movement.

Marriage equality is the big thing that’s going on this year with the cases in the Supreme Court and, of course, it’s a nervous time and we just have to wait. At the same time, there’s a range of issues that remain out in the field, front and center of EQCA’s work, and the heightened attention that LGBT equality has been given by these historic events gives us an opportunity to talk about them.

There is the need, for EQCA to focus some of its time and attention on the enforcement of legislation and laws that have been passed which sit on the books and have never fully been enforced.

For example, the urgent need to have safe schools where LGBT young people are protected and not subjected to bullying and harassment; the concerns of seniors, many of whom have to go back into the closet as they enter nursing homes and long term care facilities; the concerns of transgender people, many of whom face terrible harassment and discrimination in their everyday lives.

In terms of upcoming legislation in 2013 what are EQCA’s priorities in moving equality forward for all LGBT people?

Well, powerful legislative advocacy is very important, and will always be very important and we don’t have our legislative package to announce yet.

The things that I can tell you about that are priorities for EQCA are the enforcement of existing legislation.

A great example of that is the audit of the safe schools legislation that is currently underway. We find out the results of that audit around summer time, and we fully anticipate the types of things that audit will expose.

That is that kids continue to be bullied and harassed in schools by their peers and sometimes even by their teachers, rather than being protected. To avoid confrontation and punishment they continue to skip school at alarmingly high rates, drop out of school, or run away from home. They are certainly not learning when they are scared to be there in the first place, and it’s an outrage that the state of California has failed to protect our young people. So advocacy on that issue, for example, is one area that we will focus a priority amount of our attention.

The arena of health is definitely a priority for EQCA. The implementation of the Affordable Care Act and the launch of Covered California, the Health Exchange here, present an opportunity for us to directly address the disparity and access to healthcare that LGBT people face.

So those are a couple of the priorities that we are looking at for the year.

What new strategies will you be implementing to further strengthen the effectiveness of EQCA in backing equality legislation, and supporting all LGBT Californians?

On the safe schools we will be directly advocating with school districts across the state and legislatures. Outreach to the press is a particularly powerful strategy when it comes to the enforcement, implementation and attention on the failure of school districts.

There are more than 1,100 school districts in the state of California so certainly we can’t go door to door to each school district but illuminating the problem through press and advocacy are strategies that we will employ.

With the health project we will mobilize our field staff into communities to educate people to talk about the Health Exchange. That is going to be a massive undertaking for us and we are looking to host enrollment fairs in communities across the state. So that’s going to be a big, big piece of work for us that we are building a capacity for.

With even some social conservatives now accepting marriage equality as inevitable, how do you feel the overall political climate toward equality is changing across all parties?

The pace at which LGBT people have increasingly found political power and acceptance in institutions throughout society, communities of faith and various political parties is incredible. There is still a long, long, long way to go in our work for full LGBT equality for people to understand and embrace us in all our diversity.

I think that our opposition, whatever party they might be in, who are opposed to LGBT equality, or whatever issue, will remain our adversaries for a long time to come. But I think there is a growing acknowledgement that we are ultimately winning the struggle for full equality.

However, I don’t think the opposition is throwing in the towel. So we have a couple of notables in the party that are traditionally conservative, acknowledging that LGBT equality is perhaps unstoppable and that’s wonderful! But that does not mean they are packing up and going home.

How do you think the Supreme Court will rule on DOMA and Proposition 8?

I can’t predict and I will decline to predict. Sorry to disappoint your readers, but I’m not offering any predictions today!

I can tell you that the arguments going in front of the Supreme Court on our side of these issues are solid, and I have faith in the process; and I have faith that they will be given a just hearing; and I have faith that ultimately we will achieve full marriage equality.

What effect do you think President Obama’s inauguration speech might have on The Supreme Court ruling?

I think it is likely to have a strong effect, but how the Supreme Court Justices will finally rule is hard to say. President Obama’s inclusion of LGBT people and the way he did it in his inauguration address was wonderful and I think I felt it in my heart in a way that I haven’t felt it before. The significance of having the leader of the free world acknowledge us in such a thoughtful way. Feeling that way resonated with me and made me recognize what a huge thing that was, and what a huge thing that was for LGBT Americans and LGBT people throughout the world. It is certain to have a big, big, big effect. Whether that effect spills over onto how the Supreme Court decides the LGBT cases in front of it I do not know. It is my hope that it will positively impact them.

There are a number of LGBT advocacy groups, all with their own agendas. Do you feel there could be closer cooperation between these groups to strengthen the call for equality?

Well I can’t speak for all of the groups, but between EQCA and our partners in the field, not only should there be, there is going to be, [closer cooperation]. That has been an initial priority for me, and I have been reaching out all over the state.

I’ve met with Delores Jacobs and initiated my relationship with her; and The Center down here, Lori Gene at the L.A. Center is a friend and somebody who I am happy to be working with now. Kate Kendal at The National Center for Lesbian Rights is also a friend who I have been meeting with to discuss collaboration. Shannon Minter on Kate’s staff is working with me on our lawsuits to protect SB1172; and Mason Davis of The Transgender Law Center is working with me to explore the possibility of collaboration between EQCA and the Transgender Law Center.

So, not only should there be, there is now a higher level of collaboration!

Do you see EQCA working with the national advocacy groups?

I think the alignment is a friendly level of coordination and mutual support, but as you said, we do advocacy primarily around legislation in the state of California so our niche is kind of carved out in a way. So there is room for mutual support and friendly coordination; not a lot of directly collaborative work. For us, the natural prospects for collaboration are California-based organizations.

Anti-LGBT bullying is still a problem, especially among young people. What more can be done to prevent this kind of discrimination?

You know, given that our focus is on government and public policy legislation in particular, we have been party to passing laws to protect kids in schools. Because school safety and bullying is a priority concern to us, and it is a concern of many people across the state we sponsored a demand for an audit on that legislation, which was sponsored by Assemblymember Ricardo Lars.

The governor signed it into law so that audit is underway now. The state auditor is auditing school districts across the state for their compliance with legislation to provide a safe environment for youth. As I mentioned before the results of that audit will be released over the summer.

Would you consider EQCA taking a more hands on approach to the problem of bullying?

This hasn’t been brought up for consideration. We are in what I would characterize as “the program development phase” of looking at this problem and trying to develop a strategy. As I mentioned, there are 1,100 school districts in the state of California and they are governed locally. My first meeting to discuss this was with the Superintendent of Education Tolykson in Sacramento, so we have begun our dialogue with the Department of Education on how we might approach advocating for the full implementation of these laws.

We are still looking at many different options so I can’t tell you exactly what the advocacy strategies are going to be, but that project is a priority for us this year.

Are you in favor of a hands-on strategy in this area?

Sure I’d be in favor of any tactic that got results.

As we all know, the reparative therapy bill is now on hold and has not been implemented. Do you feel that law will be ultimately sustained?

I think so. I think the arguments and the rationale for the legislation in the first place was rock solid and therefore the arguments going in front of the court will be rock solid as well.

Look, every major mental health medical association out there has come out against sexual orientation change efforts. They have found it abusive and harmful.

If we look at the recommendations of how young people struggling with their identity or sexual orientation should be embraced and supported, certainly not abused, and that attempts to change them should not be employed. Well, it’s like polar opposites. The state protects young people from tobacco, from alcohol, even from tanning booths! The state is certainly well within its rights to protect young people from this and I think the court will agree.

As we are all aware, the news has broken that there are moves to rename SFO after LGBT icon Harvey Milk. If successful, what kind of impact do you think this will have in California, the rest of the nation and overseas?

There are two profound effects that come to mind for me. One will be the opportunity to educate the world on Harvey Milk’s legacy because people who don’t know who Harvey Milk is will fly through San Francisco Airport and they will hear about who Harvey Milk is.

San Francisco International Airport serves 70 plus countries. In so many of those countries, being gay or lesbian is explicitly outlawed, so the visibility this airport will give to LGBT equality globally could have a profound effect on international dialogue around these issues.

But for young people, and for all people who are LGBT to see Harvey Milk’s accomplishments, as an LGBT person, held up to the same level of other non-LGBT people from all walks of life is a point of dignity and should not be overlooked. Harvey Milk is a hero to our community. To put him on a level footing with other leaders is extraordinary.

In the fight for equality, how important is San Diego and the actions of local advocacy groups. How can EQCA become more involved locally and what can San Diegans do to become more involved with, and aware of EQCA?

We have four elected officials from the area representing San Diego in Sacramento who have received EQCA’s endorsement in their race for their seat. First there’s Toni Atkins, who is part of the LGBT caucus; of course Sen. Marti Block; Ben Hueso and Shirley Weber. And then we have Juan Vargas’ seat which is being vacated and there is a special election coming up. EQCA will certainly be making an endorsement in that we have a powerful sought-after endorsement and if people in this community want to be a part of the work of EQCA – a statewide pro-equality organization – we want 100 percent pro-equality elected officials in Sacramento representing them.

Then they can get involved with these elected officials who have our endorsement. We have a policy of “100 percent pro-equality platform or no endorsement”, and there is never any exceptions made to that. It is a point of great integrity for our organization so supporting those candidates, those elected officials is one way.

Another way that we will be involved in the community, I talked about enrolling people in the Health Exchange. We will be doing an enrollment fair down in this area for lower income LGBT people. People who need access to healthcare and want to know about the exchange will be contacted by us. We would also be doing a call for our volunteers, because we’ll need all the help we can get. We have two events, and people can participate as attendees or donors at these events. We do a garden party here and an Equality Awards event.

So those are ways. We also have a board member on our board who is a leader, Joyce Rollin. She is an executive at Sempra down here in San Diego and she is my connection to the community and the board who could do some recruiting for us. Geographic diversity is a priority for us; having more representation from down here is a priority for us, and I would like to expand our reach a little bit.

Fast forward to the end of 2013. What would you like to be looking back on as achievements by EQCA and LGBT equality as a whole?

It is my hope that the Supreme Court will have ruled favorably and marriage equality is restored in California at the very least. That is a hope.

I think with all the momentum and heightened publicity with LGBT equality that we would have been successful in elevating school legislation; that we have a collaboration for transgender equality launched with our partners in the field. It is further my hope that we’ve had a successful year legislating protections for LGBT people; that EQCA is more visible in San Diego and across the state, and that we have restored our capacity that we lost in the transition we’ve been through recently. Lastly, that we have a clear vision for the future for ongoing work for many years for building am understanding and public support for LGBT equality.

There is nothing but opportunity for us right now. We are not going to close up and go home. But mission accomplished? No. The mission for full and lasting equality for LGBT people is far, far, far off still. There will always be a need for it, but we’re shifting the political landscape. This landscape is changing very quickly and political power to protect what we have, to enforce what we have and to fully implement what we have is crucial.

“To sheath, or not to sheath, that is the question: whether it’s better to unfurl a condom or to risk suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous medical misfortune …”

The warm sun streamed through the plate-glass windows along Adams Avenue. I was stalking through antique shops on the hunt for two small spindle-legged consoles, half-round tables for hallway accents. My safari was interrupted by a chance encounter with Marilyn, a former co-worker and somebody whom I always liked but had lost touch with over time. She agreed to “a cup of coffee or something” and we wandered into LeStats. During our pleasant conversation, I learned that she had retired and now enjoyed being a grandmother.

“Not possible. We’re not old enough to be grandparents.”

She reminded me of how I once counseled her on how to speak with her kids about using condoms to prevent HIV. “I still have the pamphlet you gave me,” she said.

“My goodness. That was almost twenty-five years ago,” I said, a memory drifting into focus. As fresh as yesterday and unfaded by time. Remembering our hushed conversation and the urgent need to share information about condom use in an effort to survive The Plague.

It was the late ‘80s and I had recently moved to San Diego from Los Angeles. I had accepted a job and a new career, but at heart I was still an AIDS activist. I was one of many living with HIV and our struggle was the fight for our lives. AZT was a new treatment, but it could not stop the scourge. Funerals and memorial services and “celebrations of life” were all too frequent. It was the worst of times. If you’ve never climbed gingerly into a hospital bed to hold a dying friend and tell them goodbye, carefully avoiding the IV tubing and needles stuck into skeletal-thin arms, then you probably wouldn’t understand.

“I always admired your courage,” she said. “Coming out at work as a HIV-positive gay man was an act of bravery.”

“You’re very kind,” I said, “but you’re being dramatic. It wasn’t so much an act of bravery as it was an act of timing. I only waited until I had finished probation and was a full-time employee. I knew I couldn’t be fired.”

I sipped my iced berry patch tea. “You might be surprised to know the message of safer sex is just as relevant today.”

“You’re kidding me,” she said with a look of surprise and disbelief.

“I wish I was,” I replied.

“… Or to take arms against a sea of medical troubles, and by opposing end them: to die, to sleep no more …”

“Even though we now have effective HIV treatments, more than 296,000 gay men have died of AIDS, and I’m troubled by the thought of an entire new generation who does not understand the health threat HIV poses or has witnessed the devastating consequences.”

I told her about how 1.1 million Americans are now living with HIV and most new HIV infections are among people under 30. How gay and bisexual men of all races account for just 2 percent of the U.S. population but represent more than half of all the new infections in the United States. How people of color are disproportionately impacted by the virus. How the rate of new HIV infections for black men is about six times as high as that of white men, and about three times that of Hispanic men. How the HIV incidence rate for black women is nearly 15 times as high as that of white women, and nearly four times that of Hispanic women.

“That’s unbelievable,” she said.

“And it’s not just HIV. Safer sex reduces the risk of catching other sexually transmitted diseases, too.”

I told her how gay men now account for nearly three quarters of all primary and secondary syphilis cases. How syphilis, if left untreated, can lead to blindness, stroke and death. How in some cities, 40 percent of gay men with HIV were also infected with syphilis. How syphilis can increase the viral load in HIV-positive people.

“Quite frankly, I’m stunned,” she said.

We sat there silently for a moment. The conversations of other patrons and the clatter of coffee cups meeting saucers filled the air.

“I agree the situation is shocking,” I replied, “but it’s not hopeless. HIV infection is still preventable.”

“… And by a sleep, to say we end the heartache, and the thousand natural shocks.”

I looked around at the mostly younger men and women in the crowded cafe. I recalled the thousand shocks of too many funerals and memorial services, and all the friends I’ve lost to HIV: Greg, Michael, Ricky, Arthur, Mark, Trevor, Connie, to name only a few. My strongest desire is to honor the memory of those who have died. My greatest hope is that the young people nearby would never experience the grief and horrors of The Plague.

“Reducing the rate of HIV infection is not only possible, but imperative,” I said. “We need to keep talking about safer sex.”

I told her about how it was imperative to get tested for HIV/STDs at least once a year. How it was imperative to limit the number of sexual partners, or to just say no. How it was imperative to avoid risky behaviors and having sex while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. How it was imperative to always use a condom. Every partner. Every time.

Marilyn reached across the table and held my hand. She smiled and said, “It’s good to know you still have the same passion you had a quarter of a century ago.”

“Ugh. You make us sound so old.”

Marilyn laughed.

“I have an idea,” she said. “After we finish our beverages, would you like to go to the zoo and see the new baby panda?”

Admittedly, our conversation had taken an unexpectedly grim turn and a change of venue might be nice. Generally speaking, I’m not a spontaneous person, but it was a beautiful day and I was alive. I don’t know how I managed to survive The Plague, but I did. I smiled at Marilyn.

“We can do that,” I replied.

The names of people are fictitious. The places and events are real.

HIV/STD TESTING AND TREATMENT RESOURCES:

Family Health Centers of San Diego: www.gaymenshealth.org

San Diego County STD testing

http://tinyurl.com/std-services

San Diego County HIV testing/services

http://tinyurl.com/hiv-services

The Center HIV and STD testing

http://tinyurl.com/center-hiv-std

Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that men who have sex with men (MSM) be tested for HIV and STDs at least annually. CDC data show that sexually active MSM might benefit from more frequent testing (e.g., every 3 to 6 months). Regular testing allows people who have HIV to know their status, get life-saving treatment and care, and prevent HIV transmission to others. Call 1-800-CDC-INFO or visit hivtest.org to find HIV testing locations near you.

George

“The human-animal relationship is one of the cornerstones of a just and compassionate society.” Etched in the lobby wall of the San Diego Humane Society Central Campus, 5500 Gaines Street in Linda Vista, those words help explain why Americans are among the most avid pet owners on the planet.

Disney and Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons personalized that relationship, and the American Pet Products Association estimates that the pet industry is a $52 billion annual business. With some data and real-life experience, let’s translate that into relevancy for the LGBT community.

According to a 2007 Harris Interactive/Witeck-Combs Communications survey, 71 percent of LGBT adults own pets, compared to 63 percent of heterosexuals. Interestingly, the percentage of LGBTs who own dogs and cats is exactly the same for both – 63 percent. (For heterosexuals, dogs clearly lead 71 percent-52 percent.)

Our community may seem much more dog owners because, honestly, how many do we see out walking their cats? Fourteen percent own fish, 5 percent birds and 20 percent “other,” which could include rabbits, ferrets, iguanas, hamsters or lizards that sell insurance.

A good friend once owned a pet cheetah before laws strictly limited such ownership!

The same survey found LGBTs and heterosexuals virtually identical (90 percent-89 percent) in considering their pet a member of the family. It is safe to say that while no one loves animals more than our community, really, virtually everyone does.

Think pets and the Humane Society comes to mind. Our local one in Linda Vista houses 800-1,000 animals, mostly dogs and cats of various ages, but also rabbits, birds and guinea pigs. Most are available for adoption. They have even had a magician’s dove, a domestic pigeon, turtles and a 7-foot python as part of a police investigation.

They also care for animals with medical issues or needing rehab. Kelli Herwehe at the Humane Society says that the No. 1 reason people seek a pet is companionship, particularly for singles. She explained that pets are “always there for you, having nothing to give but love.”

Pet-seekers range from seniors to young adults, split about evenly between people desiring a particular breed or type of dog or cat and those open to whatever animal with which they connect. Kelli said they have “a lot more” cats than dogs, largely due to overbreeding, and even have a separate kitten nursery.

The recent recession greatly increased the number of pets surrendered for adoption. Small dogs get adopted faster because their care is easier and apartment dwellers face fewer “landlord issues” with them.

The courtyard at the San Diego Humane Society in Linda Vista

Ninety percent of the cases of animal neglect that the Humane Society investigates prove to be simply people not understanding the proper care and attention required for their pet. So, they strive to educate and match people with an appropriate animal well-suited for their lifestyle and living conditions. A St. Bernard and a studio apartment? Not a match.

Kelli notices no great difference between heterosexuals and LGBTs who come looking for a pet. Still, the special bond we in the LGBT community have for animals seems especially strong in an affinity for those needing a home. They appear to call out “choose me” and touch our hearts.

Julia Szabo, writing on dogster.com in June 2011, gave a viable reason, “Perhaps gay people, having experienced intolerance, can relate especially well to misunderstood, overlooked, marginalized animals.”

The Humane Society of the U.S. reports that 21 percent of all pets are adopted; Ellen DeGeneres and others have made it a cause célèbre. My friends Joy and Kathleen foster-cared a mature Labrador mix named George, fell in love with him, then made him their own.

Attorney Al Smithson, a long-time supporter of the Feral Cat Coalition, daily feeds Golden Hill cats he has named. Yet, no one has taught me more about the attachment between adopted animal and human than close friend Jim Petersen.

A buff-colored tabby kitten entered his life as Jim and late partner Garry sat in their garden. Obviously needing food and care, their hearts went out to it, though they knew that, “If we fed it, it was ours.” They tried to keep it in the garage, until one day they noticed the door handle turning as the cat tried to gain entry to the house. From then on, it was a house cat and member of the family. Calling it a “cute little baby,” the name stuck.

Jim’s experience is not unique in our community. Everyone has those special moments and treasured stories of pets and their personalities, adding up to love. Baby now ventures outside but only under supervision and only to the property line to chase away a squirrel or other cat.

Oddly, dogs are welcome, because we all – and especially Baby – know that he “is not a cat.” He comes when you call him; loves people, boxes, riding in the car (on the dash), playing hide and seek and being vacuumed – literally.

Jim shares some of Baby’s most endearing behavior, “This is an amazing little creature with enormous intelligence. He knew when Garry was very ill with cancer and kept vigil on him for so long, laying beside him most of the time. When Garry passed, Baby sat at the bedroom door every evening and cried out for more than a month. He truly grieved. It let me know how I wasn’t the only one suffering the loss.” This is not so far-fetched. A new study reported in Science Daily suggests that dogs, indeed, are capable of understanding the human perspective.

Today, Baby is almost constantly at Jim’s side, keeping an eye on him, beginning the night sleeping beside him. And Baby is something of a local celebrity. Visitors, even those who don’t “like” cats, admit they come to see him. “And, oh yes, Jim,” they quickly add.

With the growth in the number of pets, society has become increasingly pet-friendly. While many public places limit access to those deemed as “service” or “therapy” animals, one may take their leashed dog shopping at Petco, PetSmart or pet shops or even, with common-sense limitations (leash, they don’t bite, you clean up after them), Home Depot or Lowe’s.

While few restaurants permit non-service dogs inside, a growing list of establishments allow or even welcome dogs to patio areas. Listings are available at bringfido.com or dogfriendly.com.

If you would like to add a “Baby” to your life, I highly recommend the Humane Society and their beautiful facility. They offer many services and classes, an area in which one may get acquainted with a prospective pet, plenty of helpful advice and volunteer opportunities. One thing is unmistakable: they absolutely love animals! The typical adoption fee ranges from $25 to $175. Check them out at sdhumane.org.

Pets are the paws that refresh us. Remember, when admiring your or others’ pets, they are very possibly feeling your compassion, sensing what you’re thinking, and aware of a relationship.

Barack Obama takes the oath of office at the Capitol, Jan. 20, 2009

February is African American History Month, also known as Black History Month. It is as much a celebration of accomplishments within the African American community as it is recognition of a journey of struggles to overcome in pursuit of basic civil rights.

It is an unfinished journey though, that encompasses Lincoln’s 1863 Emancipation Proclamation, which effectively freed a warring nation’s slaves, through the 1963 March on Washington by thousands of Americans unhappy with civil rights progress for minorities, which featured Martin Luther King’s famous “I Have a Dream” speech, to a modern day that has seen America’s first African American president.

Yet, for centuries, history books have failed to mention the contribution that African Americans, and other minorities, have played in the development of America.

As a response, African American History Month began in 1926 through the efforts of historian Carter G. Woodson and what was at the time known as Negro History Week. The intention of the week was to acknowledge both the accomplishments and lives of major figures in African American history.

The list of famous LGBT African Americans is long, and runs the gamut from activists and politicians, to athletes and entertainment figures: including: Bayard Rustin, advisor to Martin Luther King Jr. and a chief organizer of the March on Washington; Josephine Baker, actress and singer; James Baldwin, author; Sheryl Swoopes, WNBA professional basketball player; and Wanda Sykes, comedian and actress.

However, African American History Month has now turned into something of a lightening rod of controversy with detractors and proponents in seemingly equal numbers.

Critics have even gone so far as to label it racist on the one hand, and at the same time ineffective and essentially redundant in today’s America with its first African American president and where minorities are increasingly well represented in both politics and government.

Proponents argue however, that African American history still needs to be remembered and that the lives and accomplishments of otherwise forgotten African Americans need to be acknowledged.

Such advocates counter the racist charge with the claim that, the reason there is no White History Month, is because it already exists, under the guise of traditional, mainstream history books.

Perhaps African American History Month then, by its very definition, is not so much racist, as it is intentionally biased, intended to counter the existing, white-oriented history already in place.

Supporters also assert that such a month is important as a way to connect African Americans in modern day America with the color struggles that previous civil rights advocates had to endure in past generations and that through it the continued racial discrimination in society can be addressed.

However, some maintain that African American History Month is superficial, and that it at the same time marginalizes the contributions of African American history into a single 28-day period.

Bayard Rustin (left) and Cleveland Robinson (right), organizers of the March on Washington, Aug. 7, 1963

Oscar-winning actor Morgan Freeman, controversially stated in a 60 Minutes interview in 2005, “You’re going to relegate my history to a month? I don’t want a Black History Month. Black history is American history.”

The question for many though is how that can be achieved.

Some critics contend that too much time is being spent on highlighting historical events and historical figures outside of a social context and that the cause of African American progress in current society would be better served by focusing on inner-city social problems, and racial disparities in housing, healthcare and employment.

And yet advocates maintain that another value of an African American History Month is as a tool to raise awareness about African American history and social disparity, and as a way to educate.

Charles Radcliffe, chief of global issues at the Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR), sees education as a major benefit of African American History Month. “One of the lessons of the fight against racism is that changing the laws, putting in place legal protection against discrimination, isn’t enough,” says Radcliffe. “You need to tackle prejudice at its roots, through education. African American History Month has helped to change the attitudes of millions of young people by making them aware of the injustice of racism. A similar educational process is needed to tackle homophobia, which remains deep-seated in most societies.”

Charles W. Patmon Jr., president of San Diego UrbanPride, sees African American History Month as a stepping-stone to a more integrated society, saying, “African American History Month is relevant because all Americans need to know the history of our country. For so long African American triumphs have been ignored in mainstream education. Unfortunately, we have to have a month to highlight these accomplishments. But until we become a society that recognizes and salutes contributions from all people, it is necessary.”

In addition, there are those that see the struggle for African American rights as a positive example for other minorities in their struggle for recognition and civil rights, and that includes the LGBT community.

Says Larry Baza, 2011 Champion of Pride award winner, “The Civil Rights Movement, the fight for equal rights in the U.S.A, was born in African American communities. The non-violent path of protest and the strategy of taking cases of institutionalized racism, denial of civil rights through the courts, under the leadership of Dr. Martin Luther King provided the basic model for every subsequent civil rights struggle, including our own LGBT fight for equal rights.”

Adds Patmon, “Both the African Americans and LGBT communities share commonalities when it comes to civil rights. Everyone must realize that ‘their’ struggle is ‘our’ struggle and we must work together to achieve goals that are mutually beneficial.”

As a result, some would contend that the most significant association between African American History Month and LGBT History Month is a shared common struggle in pursuit of basic civil rights in the face of hostility and prejudice.

LGBT History Month, in October, celebrates significant accomplishments and LGBT figures in the gay rights movement, as well as in the civil rights movement generally.

For Patmon, African American History Month and LGBT History Month have many connections.

Martin Luther King Jr.

“African American History Month relates to LGBT History Month because during each we should recognize contributions from both communities,” says Patmon. “For example, Bayard Rustin was a strong activist for civil rights. We honor his contributions to the civil rights movement. In African American History Month, he is recognized because he is African American; in LGBT History Month, he should be recognized because he was gay. Each community needs to highlight individuals from the other.”

For the most part then, while African American History Month has its detractors, its original goal of publicly acknowledging significant figures and historical events in the African American community, and its availability as an educational tool, still ring true.

And as long as history books fail to include the contributions of minorities within their covers, the need for such events is unlikely to diminish.

Aerial view of Old Town and Port of Ibiza Town

Europe is a huge lure for American tourists, offering culture and enchantment unlike many parts of our country and our neighboring nations. Exploring the Eurozone is much easier now than it used to be due to the practically nonexistent border crossings and procedures. As more nations apply to join the zone, exploration becomes more and more intriguing.

Two approaches can be taken when tackling Europe as a traveler. Tourists can hit the decadent party circuit or enjoy the endless cultural sites and heritage. Using these two approaches as a guideline and keeping price in mind, Europe beckons us.

Although the dollar is faring better against the euro than in the past, there will ultimately be some cities and hot spots that will demand more cash, while others are less costly. Let’s combine these search qualifications and explore the possibilities.

Party, party – we all got time fo’ dat!

Although many will argue that electronic music made its debut in Detroit and Chicago, it took hold in Europe and grew at an enormous pace starting back in the late 1980s and 1990s. One such location that captures the spirit of elektro and house is the island haven, Ibiza.

Located off the eastern coast of Spain, Ibiza (Eivissa in Catalan) is the third largest of the Balearic Islands and an autonomous community of Spain. It has enchanted partiers for years. It seems like everyone has a story and a pronunciation for this small island – the Spaniards and Brits call it Ee-bee-tha, American’s say Ee-bees-ah, and naysayers call it a gigantic mess! It is many things to many travelers, yet in the summer, it is the party capital of the world. Celebrities, millionaires and the jet set from around the world descend on this island from the months of May until late September.

Privilege, Ibiza

To give you an idea of this bohemian island’s size, it’s about 30 miles long and 15 miles wide and can be driven in one day.

Each town has its own individual culture.

Ibiza Town and Sant Antoni, to name a few, have completely different vibes. Ibiza Town is basically the port and offers cute boutique hotels, shopping and a small center square/park.

Sant Antoni on the other hand is where the party meets the sea. Sunset cafes like the world famous Café Del Mar and Café Mambo lie directly on a street deemed the “Sunset Strip.”

A visitor will rub elbows with the most famous DJs on the planet and possibly have no idea. David Guetta, Swedish House Mafia and many others are known to pop out a sun set and the beat culture of Mark Farina is in full force after the sun sets. Best part, entrance is free! Arriving early to secure a table is advised, and as a courtesy be prepared to purchase tapas and drinks. In addition to the outstanding music, directly in front of the cafes are fire jugglers, performers and high quality international beachgoers. This mix offers an eclectic artistic start to a fun-filled night. After a day of driving or beach cruising, one couldn’t finish off the day more perfectly.

And now we reach the dream sequence, the night life – the world’s biggest, best and most luxurious parties attended by the most beautiful patrons in the world. There are also some hot messes in the mix, but we all know that’s to be expected! If you think you’ve paid an outrageous cover charge, or seen an outstanding show at a club, think again. Nothing, I tell you nothing, can compare to Ibiza. One such decadent experience is Privilege.

West End, Sant Antoni de Portmany (Ibiza)

Privilege holds the Guinness world record for “Biggest club in the world” and nightly provides an experience like none other. Entrance price for the best nights is often close to $100 per person and the party doesn’t even start pumping till sometime between 2-4 a.m.

Puff Daddy, Madonna and local favorite, Jade Jagger are often in attendance during the summer. Housing an Olympic-size swimming pool directly behind the main dance floor and stage, each night a different party theme attends to the masses. Think Cirque du Soleil, a Roberto Cavalli fashion show and the beats of Tiesto live on stage simultaneously – there you have the main room of Privilege. You and 20,000 other dancers rocking out. There’s room for everyone on the floor and the party never ends.

After the summer is over, the music continues and there’s a world tour. Many of us know these events as they often appear in Miami, New York and Los Angeles.

Culture and tradition arrive

For those of us that are willing to leave the party and the comfort of the gay meccas, a cultural and educational vacation in Eastern Europe is second to none.

Although, Ibiza is chock full of party culture, music and beautiful bodies peppered along the shore, the island doesn’t arrive at the forefront of a travelers mind when thinking culture. So, let’s take a look toward Eastern Europe and leave Western Europe to the heathens.

Stairs of Dubrovnik

Particularly interesting to travelers these days are the more recent additions to the European Union. These countries give a traveler a true look back into time and are often steeped in heavy tradition.

Many may not completely accept values such as gay rights and activism. In these places, some discretion is advised to LGBT travelers when handling oneself in public. Croatia is one such country yet the coastal city of Dubrovnik is a stunning example of culture and heritage.

Set to be an official member of the European Union in July of 2013, Croatia is home to the beautiful walled city of Dubrovnik. A very walk-able town, Dubrovnik is filled with architectural wonders in the Baroque style. This can be experienced all within the Old Town which is designated a UNESCO World Heritage spot.

As a heavily Catholic-based country, there are no gay bars in the many cities, yet all people are welcome. Dubrovnik is not a party or nightlife kinda town and keep in mind there are no direct flights into the city from the U.S., however connections are easy and fairly cheap once in Europe.

Dubrovnik itself is extremely picturesque. Ideally a summer vacation here would be preferred. The annual Dubrovnik Summer Festival is a 45 day-long cultural event with live plays, concerts and games. There are lovely churches and cobbled stone alleyways to peruse. The city boasts many old buildings, such as the Arboretum Trsteno, the oldest arboretum in the world, dating back to before 1492. The influence from the former Italian and Yugoslavian eras are strong here in both the architecture and the old world vibe on the streets.

When you are tired of sightseeing, head for the nearby beaches and the cool waters of the Adriatic Sea to relax and soak up the sun. There are several islands off the coast which have become hotspots for many Europeans and in recent years Dubrovnik has become a stop for cruise liners as well.

Arboretum in Trsteno, Croatia

The nude beaches on Lokrum are a great escape. Lokrum is only about 15 minutes on the ferryboat from Dubrovnik and is basically a huge park on an island. This is the ideal spot to let your hair down and relax a bit.

Ibiza and Dubrovnik. Any traveler can delight in these two starkly different European atmospheres.

Europe is full of exciting destinations, relaxing spas and ancient culture and can offer you the trip of your dreams.

A journey to explore the offerings of Europe can soothe the soul. Take it from me, “A journey heals.”

After a fairly sparkling record in the 2012 elections (San Diego LGBT Weekly Sept. 27 2012 – Breaking open the political fortune cookie), the Politically Aware crystal ball was looking forward to a well-earned rest. Then City Council President Tony Young announced his resignation, Rep. Juan Vargas was sworn in, and the sound of falling dominoes demanded a peek into 2013 before the oracle gets buried under disassembled holiday decor.

District 4. We know Todd Gloria has taken outgoing Council President Tony Young’s gavel, but we don’t know who will take his seat. I have heard that upward of 10 people may run, and they are in various stages of planned and announced candidacy, and paperwork done or not. Things are picking up now that the election is set for March 26.

It looks to be a diverse slate, including men, women, members of the LGBT communities and communities of color, both, and more. From the LGBT perspective, Dwayne Crenshaw, the executive director of San Diego LGBT Pride, has the most name recognition. Myrtle Cole, whose nascent candidacy already has the backing of the San Diego and Imperial Counties Labor Council and local LGBT political powerhouse Toni Atkins, could compete for LGBT votes. Much may depend on if and how LGBT groups like the Victory Fund and the San Diego Democrats for Equality get involved. For the moment, the crystal ball likes Crenshaw and Cole for the general, but as the slate hardens, the Magic 8 Ball’s answer may be wiser – “Ask again later.”

Dwayne Crenshaw

State Senate, District 40. Speaking of former City Council presidents, Assemblymember Ben Hueso has announced his intention to run for the seat vacated by now Rep. Juan Vargas. The election is set for March 12, but it’s hard to imagine a date or candidate who could stop him from becoming state Sen. Hueso. As Vargas’ term only runs until 2014, his victory party will likely be the first fundraiser for his re-election bid.

State Assembly, District 80. Assuming Hueso wins, which I clearly am, there will (eventually) be a special election to fill out his Assembly term. Lorena Gonzales (from our “buy” column) has already declared her intention to run, and while there may be some business interests who would love to get in her way, it’s hard to imagine who will beat her in this district.

San Diego and Imperial Counties Labor Council. Gonzalez’ departure would leave open a seat on what Gonzales will have just (is about to have?) shown is a launching pad to a political career. So it’s worth wondering who would succeed her. Evan McLaughlin seems a likely choice or perhaps Myrtle Cole if she doesn’t win the District 4 race. I have no reason to think that; I just like the electoral symmetry.

Ben Hueso

Worth watching in all of these races is voter turnout. November 2012 saw better than expected numbers, but it’s difficult to know how much was due to online voter registration and improved local party machinery versus specific candidates and initiatives. Special elections typically have abysmal turnouts; improved numbers would suggest more durable changes in the electorate that could help progressives in 2014.

Beyond the 2013 elections, candidates will also be positioning themselves for 2014 races. Among the biggest will be Gov. Jerry Brown’s decision about a second term. Having come through 2012 with supermajorities in both legislative houses and a voter approved tax hike, the Democratic nomination is likely Brown’s if he wants it.

If he doesn’t, Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa and Attorney General Kamala Harris are all in the mix. An Obama appointment might take Harris out of the running, but the announcement that U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder is staying on makes that less likely. Unless the Democrats are seen as abusing their unbridled power, a general election without a Republican wouldn’t be out of the question.

Lorena Gonzales

At the local level, the “guess when Rep. Susan Davis will retire” game is starting again. While the 53rd District should be safely blue under any circumstance, party leaders historically pressure incumbents to stay through midterm elections like 2014. Davis running again would not only make her seat an easy hold, but would allow local Democrats to focus on re-electing Rep. Scott Peters. Given the partisan parity of the 52nd District, expect Republican challengers to start jockeying for position in 2013. A top tier candidate, perhaps Councilmember Kevin Faulconer, could give Peters a real race if 2014 is anything like 2010.

Should Davis step down, the assumption has long been that she would be succeeded by her political protégé, City Council President Todd Gloria. While the seat would likely be his for the taking, some who heard his inauguration day speech last month are less certain he’d take it. Gloria’s remarks, including a possible infrastructure funding initiative, sounded more like a future mayor than congressmember.

That could reflect attention to his new duties as Council president, or very reasonable calculation that being mayor of California’s second largest city is a better launching pad for state-wide office than being one of its 53 congressmembers.

Jerry Brown

For the moment, I have no reason to think that Councilmember David Alvarez and whoever wins the District 4 special election won’t run again in 2014. Less clear is whether Councilmember Zapf will run for re-election in District 6 or for the seat opening up due to Councilmember Faulconer’s term limited departure in District 2, where she now lives thanks to redistricting.

Should Zapf decide on District 2, expect one or more members of the Asian Pacific Islander community to run for the District 6 seat.

Those wanting a quick assessment of President Obama’s fifth year in office can look toward the gubernatorial races in New Jersey and Virginia, where Democratic losses in 2009 heralded the 2010 Republican wave.

Susan Davis

In New Jersey, Republican Gov. Chris Christie’s popularity surge in the wake of Hurricane Sandy convinced the Democrats’ buzziest candidate, Newark Mayor Cory Booker, to skip the race. (Instead, he announced plans to run against sitting Democratic senator, Frank Lautenberg, which raised a few eyebrows.) Once Sandy fades, though, Christie will be faced with having to moderate his rhetoric and policies enough to get re-elected in blue New Jersey without ruining his chances in a Republican presidential primary. A Christie victory isn’t the end of the world for Democrats, but a Christie loss would point to Democratic gains in 2014.

Virginia is an even better political weather vane, as its one term limit keeps the incumbent advantage from confusing the direction. It also appears that the contrast will be stark, with fiscal and social conservative state Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli facing former Democratic National Committee Chair Terry McAuliffe. Unfortunately for Cuccinelli, Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling is a bit miffed that Cuccinelli jumped him in line, and is considering a run as an independent. That likely hands the race to McAuliffe in a way that says much less about the national mood than a one-on-one victory.

Because the Biden/McConnell tax deal wasn’t signed until 2013, we technically went over the fiscal cliff, but found a ledge fast enough to keep the financial markets happy. Unfortunately, that ledge only lasts for 6-8 weeks, after which we face equally painful discussions about the budget, the “sequester” spending cuts and the debt ceiling.

Scott Peters

Assuming President Obama keeps to his pledge not to negotiate over the debt ceiling, we could be in for a lengthy constitutional battle, or perhaps a trillion dollar coin. Republican obstruction will lead to 2014 elections where Democrats run on the need for a Congress that will implement the policies for which people re-elected President Obama.

When and if the budget issues ever finish, expect immigration reform to take center stage.

One of the very intended but less touted consequences of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals was to allow them to more safely advocate for themselves and their families. As the LGBT community has learned, civil rights battles move faster when the discriminatees can put their faces on the movement. The voices of Dreamers will help President Obama get Republicans on board.

Expect more Republicans to also get on board with marriage equality in 2013, as evidenced by the chairman of the Illinois Republican Party, who supported legislation in the Land of Lincoln. In addition to Illinois, look to Minnesota, New Jersey and Hawaii as states that may endorse marriage equality by legislative action.

Those are the clear pictures from the crystal ball, at least compared to seeing what the Supreme Court will do. That analysis was in a previous column (LGBTweekly.com – The Supreme Court has spoken; now what did they say? Dec. 12, 2012), so we’ll stick to the predictions. DOMA part III goes down, everywhere. Prop. 8 goes down in a way that brings marriage equality to California, but leaves other states alone – until the Nevada case works its way through the courts.

Happy 2013!

It’s the night before Christmas and here I am thinking about the New Year already. Perhaps like many of you I am wondering what my 2013 will bring. Will it be about wealth or will it be about worry? Will it involve sickness or health? Will I achieve some of my professional objectives or will I spend twelve months lying on the sofa watching Project Runway All Stars over and over again?

Most important of all, I wonder: rather than hoping for the best, can I influence my immanent future?

I have never used the beginning of the year as a device to guilt myself into keeping to an ill-planned and over-ambitious resolution. Don’t get me wrong I always want to change something about my circumstances: a smaller waist, a fatter income, a happier disposition. It’s just that my need to better myself has rarely coincided with the hoopla surrounding the champagne-filled last night of one year and the groggy first day of the next.

But I totally get it. There is something memorable about 1/1/pick a year that makes it easier to count yourself into some measure of accomplishment. Also, a whole calendar year has just ended so it’s easy to glance over your shoulder and reflect for just a moment on your most recent pleasures and regrets.

So, yes, I get it. It’s just not something I’ve ever done before. But, maybe I should. And with that, right on cue, a customer at the surprisingly empty coffee shop where I am sipping a latte cheerily shouts something prophetic to the barista.

“I am gonna totally enjoy this piece of 1,000 calorie cake but in a week a whole new begins!” And with that he disappears into Christmas Eve night swallowing his dessert.

That got me thinking: A whole new him. A whole new me. A whole new you? I bet there are some folks oblivious to the holidays because they are busy planning a new them, a better them that will rise like a phoenix from the ashes of 2012 and soar into the fresh blue skies of 2013? I expect there are also a whole set of “new you” professionals whose busy season coincides with the first few months of the year. I thought I’d find out.

Tim Marzullo (aka Got Me Massage) has been helping people with a host of transformative goals for a while now. He has been a practicing massage therapist for more than a decade. Day after day, week after week men and women in the community come to him with an assortment of aches and pains. Some are looking for instant relief, like after a grueling rugby match or a week sitting at a computer. Others seek something deeper, a more spiritual solution to lifelong stresses now manifest in an older body creaking with pain.

I visited Marzullo at his home and asked whether he gets many appointments in early January from people who are embarking on a fresh start, a new pattern of healthy behavior.

“Yes and no,” he told me.

“I get quite a few appointments at the beginning of the year – people looking to relax after traveling and the stress of shopping and family. But, most are regular clients who have been out of town or too busy. I get one or two new clients though, people who want a more balanced life.”

“And how does that work out, in your experience?” I ask.

“It’s fifty-fifty,” he tells me. “Most disappear after a few appointments. But a few have kept coming for years. They have made massage a core part of their life. But it’s hard to stay committed to healthy changes with so many distractions in life, from home to work and everything else. Building one new thing into your routine that is relaxing and about self-care is a good start.”

I ask the boyish-looking health worker if he ever needs to set “new you” goals for himself, confident that someone so relaxed and so steeped in holistic betterment would have it all figured out.

“God yes!” He blurts out.

“A couple of years ago I needed to figure out a regular paycheck so my New Year’s resolution was to find a job with health benefits. I believe in the power of visualization (putting it out there and letting positive energy do the rest). And lo and behold a few months later a client referred me to Virgin America and I got a job as a flight attendant. So, I have been doing that and my massage for a year which has created a whole new set of issues that I need to fix in 2013.

“Like what?” I ask.

Timo Elliott

“Like nutrition,” he said.

“It’s really hard to eat well with a schedule like mine, in and out of airports. So 2013 is all about juicing. I bought a Nutri Bullet (a special blender) and I’m testing different recipes so that I can juice at home and take my meals on the road.”

He nods over my shoulder and I notice bowls full of fruit and bags of flax seed and other unknown ingredients.

Marzullo smiles. “So far my favorite is kale, banana and blackberry with a squeeze of lime juice (add water). But I am not that disciplined. I kind of throw loads of things into the blender and hope for the best.”

As it turns out nutrition, New Year resolutions and a new you are pretty much synonymous.

I met local filmmaker Timo Elliott for lunch and we made the huge mistake of discussing mutual diet plans while we were perusing the menu. It wasn’t much of an ordeal for me because I am weak. I happily ordered my favorite: eggs with rosemary potatoes (yum!). But Timo struggled. He sat across the table from me surveying his options with some degree of anguish before finally going with a salad.

“The bacchanal is over,” he told me once our orders were placed. He was paraphrasing the stern but wise words of an elderly British friend whose recent warning stung.

“Timo, you are large,” his matriarchal mentor told him in a manner that sounded very Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey. “This might be fine now,” she told him. “But you are no longer young. This weight you have gained will compound any future illness. It’s time to stop.”

“The bacchanal is over,” Timo repeated knowingly.

You see, he agreed. His metabolism had slowed and his life of drinking and eating and enjoying the fruits of his youth were most likely behind him. I empathized. We then both sighed briefly, before moving on to a more light-hearted subject.

Later that day a proclamation by Timo appeared on my Facebook wall. “I’ve started a blog about the body, mind and spirit connection,” it read. “It will go public in the New Year.”

“What is this?” I messaged back, surprised to hear about something so concrete, so soon after meeting him for lunch.

“I’m keeping it real,” Timo wrote back. “My blog is called fifty pounds to passion. It will describe a process of elimination that will reveal the core essence of life. It is a collection of unrelated concepts and ideas that when put together might help us all find a balance between body, mind and spirit.”

Here’s Timo’s concept. He aims to lose 50 pounds of physical mass (unneeded junk and body fat); 50 pounds of spiritual mass (the people, places and things that are weighing him down) and 50 pounds of mind mass (regrets from the past and fears for the future). This process of elimination will reveal a new passion for living! Elliott’s blog is designed to keep him on track and help motivate anyone else who wants to follow along.

Of course personal transformations aren’t just about weight loss. Turning a new leaf can mean a lot of things: being more optimistic, finally starting that novel, having a child, moving to Portland, sky-diving, changing career. In fact giving thought to positive change is probably something we all do a lot of the time.

2013 has already begun. I imagine a good number of you are well aware of this, counting how many cigarettes have not been smoked, how many resumes have been emailed, how many salads (dressing on the side) consumed, how many juices juiced and how many pounds jogged away.

Hopefully I am amongst you, each of us steadily realizing our own personal objective in the face of procrastination and the endless busyness of life. According to both Tim and Timo, their best advice as the months tick by is to stay focused, take small steps, and if you slip, get back up, don’t wait another year to start over again.

I wish you the best of luck in 2013! And, here’s to a “Happy New You.”

Tim Marzullo: gotmemassage.com

Timo Elliott: fiftypoundstopassion.blogspot.com

Linda Smith and Leslie Alexis

A line from “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” (first sung by the iconic Judy Garland) says, “Make the yuletide gay.” That was long before “gay” took on a different meaning. Yet, with its lights, designer ornaments, displays, fresh-baked smells, festive songs and images of elves, reindeer and penguins, what other occasion lends itself more to our light hearts and creative genes? (Sorry, Halloween.)

But aside from chorus concerts and the Hillcrest Ace Hardware store windows, is Christmas viewed and celebrated differently in the part of the LGBT community that observes it than in “mom-and-apple-pie America?” Like many ponderables, the best way to get an idea is to ask. So, we set out to “survey” a cross-section of people on how they view Christmas through the LGBT lens, and any unique, special ways in which they celebrate.

We found several common threads: A fondness and warmth for this time of year; a spiritual component, or religious one in the celebration of the birth of Jesus; and family, often including fond memories and traditions. Some interesting, rich perspectives suggest Christmas is much more to the community than just another festival.

Gabriel Mason is a self-identified “trans man” to whom Christmas means festivity, lights, decorations and the holiday spirit … and time spent with family and loved ones; a time of giving gifts and “to celebrate the love and affection we have for each other.” He sees that same feeling in the LGBT community and that as much as anyone, “We want to be loved and accepted by our family and friends.”

Mike Franz, Phil Sanchez and Gabriel

The unique thing he sees in our community is that we embrace each other, “Not a holiday has gone by that I haven’t been invited by more than one person who opens their home to others who don’t have friends or family.” Gabriel enjoys the holiday gatherings in the community, but still has time with family, including between Christmas and New Year. This year he looks forward to inventing “some sort of in-between holiday” with them.

For out Navy member Brooke Williams, 21, “Christmas has always been my favorite holiday! I remember growing up listening to the Carpenters’ Christmas music and feeling the warmth of my parents’ home filled with candles and joy!”

She views it as a time when relatives and friends are brought together and “to reflect on everything that God has done the past 12 months. Christmas is about opening your heart to joy and peacefulness.”

In looking at the LGBT community, Brooke said, “The support that I’ve come to find from the many diverse people has been uplifting! Coming from a small town, it’s overwhelming to see how welcoming and open-minded the people in San Diego are as a whole.”

Irma Guzman and Yolanda Sanchez

Her special tradition? “Since I was old enough to remember, my Mom always buys my sister and me a pair of pajamas, and we change into them and she reads The Night Before Christmas.”

Mike Franz and Phil Sanchez are parents, having adopted 5-year-old Gabriel at 8 months. They shared that “the beauty of our community is our diversity. We have so many amazing people bringing their own color to Christmas. The holidays don’t always have to look like a Norman Rockwell painting.”

Personally for them, “Christmas, aside from the spiritual, is all about tradition. It’s building on the traditions we grew up with, and adding to them, giving Gabe his own memories. Every Christmas Mike’s mom gave him a special ornament to decorate the tree. We buy one ornament each year for Gabe that signifies something meaningful from that year. (This year it’s a red airplane with Santa in it because he liked going to the Air and Space Museum.)”

For young Gabe, a Christmas Eve tradition is “staying home with my dads and drinking hot chocolate with little marshmallows and waiting for Santa to come with my presents.”

Connie and Houston Burnside

Kaki Johnson is a mature lesbian who spends weekly quiet time in prayer. She thinks that for the LGBT community, “Christmas offers a wide range of perspectives … gift giving, parties, food, fun … or very much as it’s always been since infancy.”

For her, “Attending worship and seeing church friends is really an integral, important part of celebrating Christmas. It’s about having special meals and on Christmas Day being with my partner at home, opening a gift an hour over the course of the day (all 20 years we’ve been together).

Gift giving is simple. We agree on the amount we spend because it’s more about giving than being extravagant. We don’t spend the day with extended family. Before that there’s Christmas for the grandchildren, but now, it’s our turn, just the two of us.”

Irma Guzman and Yolanda Sanchez are a couple in Oceanside. They see the “LGBT community growing up emotionally” and at Christmas not only looking for fun and to “get wild” but to “look for real friends to get together and have nice times.”

Michael Sayre

Their special tradition is “to have a posada, in which we sing to Jesus; we break a piñata decorated with seven horns that mean seven sins. When people break the piñata, the sins are broken and we start as a new reborn person.”

Houston and Connie Burnside, both in their 80s, recently celebrated their fourth (not a typo) wedding anniversary and have had a long endearment to our community.

To Houston, Christmas “brings back memories of department store window displays, the big Sears store which we called ‘the Santa Claus store,’ candied apples, family gatherings, and sleepless nights waiting for Santa.”

He shared that “some in the LGBT community are separated from families, making it often a season filled with mixed emotions. Some have been able to establish new friends who become like family. These newer connections help lift spirits and renew happy feelings experienced in earlier years.”

Brooke Williams

Connie reflected on a meaningful concert she attended last year that reminded her “that we are all one … scriptures were read both from the Jewish culture and Christian heritage; it was a connection story!” Their traditions include Balboa Park Christmas organ concerts, December Nights, mailing out 150 cards, and Christmas Day breakfast and dinner with their kids.

Michael Sayre is a single gay man in University Heights. He feels that Christmas “presents an opportunity to celebrate in a unique way. We really don our gay apparel, though gay decorating is overly done.”

For him, it’s about simplicity, “Hot dogs on the beach, talking to the ocean, or inviting friends over to make the holiday easy and accessible for them.”

To experience the holiday he says, “Go out into nature; it’ll remind you how to celebrate, create. Nature provides access to our own selves and our creative element. It’s the portal. You can find it at the ocean – the mother of all – in your backyard, in neighbor’s plantings.”

Kaki Johnson

That led him to a personal tradition he calls The Winter Bloom Festival. Though the darkest time of the year, he sees an abundance of things blooming here: bird of paradise, bougainvillea, bromeliads. The days are starting to get longer and, “What’s been dormant is coming to life in the blooms. It’s like a rebirth, and a reason to celebrate.”

Leslie Alexis, a survivor of Hurricane Katrina, moved to San Diego afterwards and lives with her partner Linda Smith. They see that for the LGBT community this holiday “brings out smiling faces and unconditional love.” Their first Christmas together, “putting up lights and decorating the tree was so much fun,” they plan to keep that tradition.

What does all this reveal? Perhaps that, like the LGBT community itself, Christmas for us is both different and the same.

Our diversity is certainly evident in the individual, creative, special ways we each celebrate. Just like our homes, cars or “gay apparel,” we have a way of making Christmas uniquely our own.

Gabriel Mason

Yet, we are mom-and-apple-pie America. (OK, perhaps Dutch apple crumb with a fabulous scoop of cinnamon ice cream.)

When we espouse equality, in marriage or otherwise, we express that we are “just like” everyone else. So, is it surprising we often commemorate Christmas with “traditional” family gatherings, friends, food, gifts, music, decorating and spiritual elements?

The rest of the “yuletide gay” line in the famous song says, “from now on, our troubles will be miles away.” That’s a hope we can all share. As we do, in one more little way, we just may feel less alone and more in the

majority.

It had been a later night than usual for Sparkey at The Midnight Sun with two birthday parties and the disco ball falling during the “Feliz Navidad” sing-a-long. It hit the unfortunate target of notorious Aaron.

Aaron was thrusting his five-foot candy cane above his head like a drum major.

“Feliz Navidad,” (thrust)

“Prospero Año y Felicidad,” (thrust)

The final “felicidad” thrust dislodged the disco ball. Sparkey could understand Aaron’s enthusiasm. The guy inhaled three Jägerbombs and was dressed in an elf costume ($28.99) that read “Naughty Not Nice.” And he hadn’t slept for four days.

Sparkey tapped 9-1-1 when the entourage of anorectics protested while dragging Aaron out of the bar. They tried to steal the cracked disco ball on their way out. Sparkey caught them at the gate and rescued the ball.

After the last bartender punched-out he sat contemplating the fractured mirror ball staring at him while sipping a Courvoisier XO Impérial cognac. ($175, aged 20-35 years) He thought, “At seven years each all those little mirrors added up to a lot of bad luck.” He decided the remains could make a cool Christmas decoration in his apartment. He’d add a flock of cotton “snow” and some twinkle lights. (Disco Ball, 16” $49.99 [new], Snow Blanket $12, LED Twinkle lights 21 feet long $15)

Gilbert Goldstein Mandamás is an A-list gay, rather, A-list queer. Having just finished a tutorial with his favorite student, David de Cleveland, Gilbert glided though San Marcos Community College on the air of his opinions. He chaired the Queer Minority Studies program, a position that few possessed and many coveted. It was two days before his last class and visions of gift ideas danced in his shaved head.

Trotting to the parking lot he waved hello to Mrs. Buckstops, head of the Grants Department. She returned the wave, “Hi Gil.” Gilbert cringed inside. No one had called him Gil since fourth grade.

The Southern California sunset glinted off his head as he opened the door to his metallic gray Prius to start his glacial drive down I-15 to Hillcrest. He kept occupied contemplating which book he’d buy to get back at Seth, his ex, for last year’s Proust. “Maybe Umberto Eco’s Foucault’s Pendulum ($51) in nine-point font?” he silently sniggered.

Dean and Jack, two white-haired bears, own and run a small knick knack and gift store. Opened in 1986, it survived two recessions and the landlord’s vicious rent hikes.

Sparky entered the store to the chime of “Silver Bells.” He was immediately drawn to the blown glass tree ornaments (cafepress.com). There was a pig in black leather, a blonde twink in sprayed on jeans examining his waist and a woman with a ’60s “bob” curling a barbell. The rainbow colored mule shoes jumped out at him (thefind.com). They would be perfect for his boss’ boyfriend. He’d get the gym rat in white towel for his favorite barista, Bo, at Sweet Buns on Fifth.

Gilbert threw open the door. “Frosty the Snowman” played. Dean immediately recognized him. Gilbert was in the habit of returning purchases three and four times. He needed to impress his returning tricks with a new conversation item. Dean was ready for the Brown alumni line.

“Professor Mandamás, how are you?” Jack droned.

“Hi, Jack. I just got back from New Zealand.”

“What were you doing in New Zealand?”

“I was recruiting for Brown. I’m an alumnus. They send me there to find new students – at least 150.”

“One hundred and fifty students?”

“No. I.Q. of 150. What do you have new for Christmas?”

Jack smiled generously. “We have some chocolate covered hand-cuffs – they’re chocolate covered pretzels from Bavaria. And some brown finger warmers with a discount coupon for Crisco. Let me show you,” he said knowing the professor couldn’t return half-eaten pretzels or greasy hand warmers.

“I’m going to Estonia this spring to lecture.”

“What are you lecturing about this time?”

“I’m lecturing on Altering Masculinity in Greenwich Village: Bi-racial Men Who Have Sex with Men with Proclivity for White Jeans, 1965 to 1969.”

“I remember those.”

As they milled about, Sparkey and Gilbert exchanged glances. Neither was the other’s ideal but each found something attractive in the other. Sparkey chirped, “Hello.” Gilbert managed a pained grin that he thought was a warm smile.

Blustering in to “Ave Maria” Gretchen’s gym bag swung ’round as she closed the door grazing a miniature “pre-lit” flocked spruce ($97, 4ft with 438 LED tips, ornaments at additional cost). She would have preferred “Little Drummer Boy.”

“Hey, watch the tree!”

“Sorry, Dean.”

“Oh, it’s you, Gretchen.”

“Evan. Call me Evan.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Evan your beard’s comin’ in.”

“Thanks. My shots are really paying off.”

That was Dean’s hook. “We just got a shaving kit. It has a gold razor, not real gold, ‘gold toned’ in the European style. Look here – see the size of that handle? Made for a boy like you” ($30, coolshaving.com).

Finding a gift to satisfy Murray, Gilbert’s gay brother, was always a challenge. What could he get for a “mileage runner” (compulsive traveller) who flies to Boston, hangs out at Logan for three-hours then jumps a flight back to L.A. to hit his 100,000 mile mark? For Murray it wasn’t about the miles; it’s about attaining elite status.

Dean wrapped Sparkey’s ornaments while Jack bagged Gilbert’s chocolate handcuffs when they heard “We Three Kings.” They turned and saw two drag queens. All took a moment to register the feminine creatures. Each queen had big hair (starting at $37, blonde, $15 for red), trench coat ($425 and up, Burberry double breasted), 8” heels (deals abound) and wrap-around sunglasses (seasonal rate). The sun had already set. Dean and Jack grew suspicious.

“Everyone, get down on the floor!” screeched the red head as she pulled out a tazer gun.

The blonde snarled, “You heard her! Down!” No one dropped to the floor for they believed it was a stunt.

“I have a tazer in my hand and I’m not afraid to use it.”

Gilbert clutched his chest and crouched. Evan dropped his knapsack. His legs strode and then he found himself lunging in front of the counter pushing Sparkey out of danger’s way.

“Put the gun down. I’m making a citizen’s arrest.”

“You heard her. She’s not afraid to use it. Shoot him, Tracey.”

“I told you not to call me by name!”

“Sorry, I …”

“Shut up, Jerry.”

Leveling her gaze at Evan Tracey purred, “You’ve been warned, missy.” She pulled the trigger. The tazer’s head shot out two feet and nose-dived to the carpet.

“Jerry, you said you recharged the gun!”

“I did recharge it. The socket went click when I plugged it in.”

“That was a circuit breaker, you idiot. C’mon, let’s get out of here.” As they ran for the door Sparkey admired their skill at running in high-heels.

Gilbert groaned, “Call 9-1-1.” He began to have an asthma attack. Evan searched his pockets and found his inhaler and administered three puffs to Gilbert’s mouth.

The gold shaving kit (in the European style) was Evan’s award for his bravery. The customers patted him on the back and thanked him as they shot photos together. After the police took the final account of the attempted robbery Sparkey and Gilbert looked at each other one last time. Neither said a word, each resisting the risk of committing the vulnerable act of initiating a conversation. Jack and Dean closed the shop early. It was bear night at the bar down the street and they were ready to relax.

After walking the cockapoos ($825-$950 each), Beckham and Ga-Ga, Sparkey sat down to watch American Idol and wrap gifts. He opened the bag to discover chocolate covered hand-cuffs.

Now he had a reason to strike-up a conversation. Heard on the streets

We asked people around Hillcrest which gifts they were giving and gifts they’d like to receive. The iPad and Kindle Fire were popular choices along with framed photographs of friends. A few memorable responses were:

“For myself, Burberry cologne. A trip to New York to see Sister Act. While I’m there, a trip to the jewelry district to get a ring – I don’t care if it’s a ‘blood diamond.’ A commuter bag from Coach and a long black Armani P-Coat. And to get laid. A salon make-over for my mother. For my nephew a Nerf gun. For my brother, shirts from Nordstrom.”

Restaurant server, 30

“I don’t need anything … I always wanted an easy-bake oven and my sister’s three-story Barbie townhouse. Peace-of-mind.”

Theme park manager, 43

“My mom wants a lava lamp.”

Retail associate, 28

“Kindness, generosity.”

Student, 36

Don’t Forget

• Season or single tickets for Cygnet Theatre, ION Theatre, The Globe, La Jolla Playhouse, San Diego Rep, Write Out Loud and Moonlight Amphitheater for musicals

• Green Gifts at treehugger.com/giftguide

• Donation to your favorite non-profit, which may allow for a tax deduction

President Barack Obama talks with Grant Colfax, director of the Office of National AIDS Policy, Gayle Smith, special assistant and senior director for Development and Democracy and Senior Advisor Valerie Jarrett in the Green Room, before the White House International AIDS Conference reception, July 26. | PHOTO: PETE SOUZA

Grant Colfax, M.D. is the director of the Office of National AIDS Policy (ONAP). In this role, he is President Barack Obama’s lead advisor on domestic HIV/AIDS policy and he is responsible for coordinating HIV/AIDS policy issues for the Domestic Policy Council.

Announcing Dr. Colfax’s appointment in March of this year President Obama said, “Grant Colfax will lead my administration’s continued progress in providing care and treatment to people living with HIV/AIDS. Grant’s expertise will be key as we continue to face serious challenges and take bold steps to meet them. I look forward to his leadership in the months and years to come.”

ONAP coordinates with the National Security Council and the Office of the Global AIDS Coordinator, and works with international bodies to ensure that America’s response to the global pandemic is fully integrated with other prevention, care and treatment efforts around the world.

Dr. Colfax was most recently director of the HIV Prevention Section in the San Francisco Department of Public Health.

A graduate of Harvard Medical School, Dr. Colfax completed his medical residency at the University of California, San Francisco. His work focuses on collaborating with community stakeholders to implement sustainable, evidence-based HIV prevention and treatment interventions and policies in public health settings and measuring their effectiveness. Under his leadership, San Francisco greatly expanded HIV testing and treatment support efforts.

Until assuming his ONAP role, Dr. Colfax was also a National Institutes of Health and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention supported scientist studying HIV testing strategies, clinical trials of medications to treat substance dependence and biomedical HIV prevention interventions. Dr. Colfax was a practicing clinician at the Positive Health Program, San Francisco’s premier public HIV clinic.

On the eve of World AIDS Day Dr. Colfax very graciously took time out of his busy schedule to talk to San Diego LGBT Weekly about the impact of HIV/AIDS in America, the prevention and treatment strategies going forward and the significance of Worlds AIDS Day.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: Dr. Colfax, congratulations on your appointment by President Obama. Can you tell us about the state of HIV/AIDS in the USA today?

Dr. Grant Colfax: This is a transformative time in the domestic epidemic. Research breakthroughs in HIV prevention and care have been dramatic, including improved treatment regimens, more efficient testing methods, and more evidence about what prevention interventions are most effective at the community level. We have reduced maternal-child transmission by 90 percent, and people living with HIV can be expected to live a near-normal lifespan on treatment. At the same time, there are approximately 50,000 new HIV infections each year, and only 25 percent of persons living with HIV in the United States have a suppressed viral load. More people need to get tested and access treatment.

We have mounted a comprehensive and aggressive response to refocus our collective efforts to respond to the domestic HIV epidemic. In July 2010, the president released the National HIV/AIDS Strategy (whitehouse.gov/administration/eop/onap/nhas), the nation’s first comprehensive plan to fight the domestic epidemic. Continued implementation of the strategy at the federal, state and local levels remains a priority. We have realigned our prevention and care investments to focus on populations where HIV is most concentrated, and are scaling up evidence-based interventions that improve both individual and population-level health.

A critical component of improving HIV prevention and care outcomes is implementation of the Affordable Care Act. The Affordable Care Act expands health insurance coverage to 30 million uninsured Americans – including the tens of thousands of people living with HIV. An estimated 7 million uninsured African Americans and 9 million uninsured Latinos, populations at highest risk for HIV, will have access to coverage in 2014.

Linking people living and at risk for HIV to coverage made possible under the Affordable Care Act will help us meet the goals of the National HIV/AIDS Strategy.

Nationwide, approximately 50,000 Americans are becoming infected with HIV/AIDS each year. Although this number has remained relatively stable through the years it is still regarded as unacceptably high. What do you cite as the reasons for this?

Major factors include lack of frequent HIV testing among populations with high HIV rates, and lack of treatment among persons living with HIV. As mentioned earlier, these issues will be greatly helped by the Affordable Care Act.

Knowing your HIV status is critical. HIV testing has enabled individuals with HIV to become aware of their health status and to take appropriate precautions to preserve their health. Moreover, studies show that individuals diagnosed with HIV take steps to reduce the likelihood of transmitting HIV to others, including through increasing condom use and reducing high-risk behaviors with HIV-negative persons. Studies also indicate that, in the setting of risk-reduction counseling and condom promotion, earlier treatment is not only beneficial for individual health, but also helps reduce transmission risk.

To be most effective, our efforts must be concentrated in populations where HIV is most concentrated, including gay men and communities of color. As we implement the National HIV/AIDS Strategy, we are also working to educate all Americans about the threat of HIV and how to prevent it. Using evidence-based social marketing and education campaigns like CDC’s Act Against AIDS (cdc.gov/ActAgainstAIDS/) campaign, is an important part of these efforts.

A particular problem is that with 1.2 million people in the United States living with HIV/AIDS infection 1 in 5 (20 percent) are unaware of their infection. What can be done nationally to reduce this percentage?

In addition to lack of access to testing services, stigma is a key issue that we continue to address.

The stigma associated with HIV remains extremely high and fear of discrimination causes many people to avoid learning their HIV status, disclosing their status, or accessing medical care.

Making voluntary HIV testing a routine part of medical care will help decrease the stigma around HIV. Under the Affordable Care Act, in 2014 insurance companies will not be able to deny coverage based on pre-existing conditions, including HIV. This means that not only will thousands of people living with HIV gain medical coverage, but also that people will no longer need to delay getting tested for HIV out of the fear that a diagnosis will preclude them from getting insurance.

Stigma is also being addressed at the policy level. President Obama, building on efforts from the prior administration, formally lifted the HIV entry ban in 2009.

In keeping with the goals of the broader strategy, the Department of Justice has taken steps to enforce civil rights laws that protect the rights of persons living with HIV/AIDS, and has launched a Web site (ada.gov/aids) dedicated to fighting discrimination against people living with HIV/AIDS.

While we still have work to do in this area, we’ve made meaningful, tangible progress.

Men who have sex with men (MSM), particularly young, African American MSM, are the most severely affected by HIV/AIDS. How do you address this specific demographic?

One of the main goals of the National HIV/AIDS Strategy is intensifying HIV-prevention activities in communities where HIV is most heavily concentrated. The strategy calls for implementing evidence-based, high-impact interventions to reduce new HIV infections, improve HIV-related health outcomes, and reduce HIV-related disparities.

It focuses federal, state, and local efforts on a prevention approach for gay men and other populations at high risk that combines increasing HIV testing and increasing HIV treatment, because studies demonstrate that increasing diagnosis rates and reducing viral loads will significantly reduce new HIV infections in disproportionately affected communities.

For instance, studies show that black MSM are more likely than white MSM to be diagnosed late in the course of HIV disease and less likely to start retroviral therapy and that these factors can be attributed to less health coverage among black MSM – a situation the Affordable Care Act’s coverage expansion will help to address.

Addressing HIV in the context of the broader range of LGBT health issues is also very important.

Finally, we need to further the discussion about how homo- and trans-phobia intersect with HIV-related stigma to increase HIV risk, and how addressing these factors together is paramount to reducing HIV health disparities in the LGBT community.

How does Obamacare impact those affected with HIV/AIDS?

People living with HIV have much to gain from the enactment of health care law.

People with HIV have higher rates of uninsurance, they are more likely to face barriers in accessing medical care, and they often experience higher rates of stigma and discrimination than other groups.

When it is fully implemented, thirty million Americans will gain health coverage as a direct result of the Affordable Care Act.

Already, the increased emphasis on prevention means that millions of Americans can now get tested for HIV without additional cost sharing.

Children can now stay on their parents’ insurance plan until they turn 26 years old, which has led to millions of young adults gaining or maintaining their health insurance coverage.

And the AIDS Drug Assistance Program benefits are now considered contributions toward filling Medicare “donut hole” expenses, and the donut hole itself will be phased out over time.

World AIDS Day. This has been held for decades. What good does it do?

World AIDS Day marks a moment to celebrate the American leadership and efforts that have transformed the response to the epidemic, as well as a time to remember the lives lost to this disease.

It is also an opportunity to educate Americans about HIV/AIDS to ensure that all Americans have the right information about the current HIV epidemic.

Finally, it is a time to highlight the need for a collective response to the epidemic – that only through governments at all levels, businesses, faith communities, philanthropy, the scientific and medical communities, educational institutions, people living with HIV, and others working together to increase HIV prevention, care, and decrease HIV-related stigma and discrimination – can we realize the vision of an AIDS-free generation.

Saturday, Dec. 1, is World AIDS Day, a day designed to raise global awareness to the issues surrounding Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). It is a day to raise awareness to the ongoing fight against the disease and in remembrance of the many millions of people who have died because of the disease.

This year’s theme for World AIDS Day is Getting to Zero highlighting the eventual goal of getting to an AIDs-free generation where infection is rare at best.

Brief history of AIDS

The disease we now know as AIDS has a brief but significant history that goes back a more than three decades. Jun. 5, 1981 in Los Angeles, Dr. Michael Gottlieb, published a report that called the initial cases Pneumocystis carinii pneumonis or PCP.

In his report Dr. Gottlieb, a researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, described his patients as “otherwise healthy young gay patients experiencing fungal infections and PCP.”

Initially, the proposed name for the disease was “Gay-related immune deficiency” (GRID) but the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and various federal agencies decided that that name did not accurately describe the demographics of those infected and in 1982 named the disease Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome or AIDS as we know it as today.

Since then an estimated 30 million people have died of the disease worldwide and today an estimated 34.2 million people live with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the virus that leads to AIDS, according to the latest report released by the United Nations Program on AIDS (UNAIDS) in 2011.

In the United States, while infections are not as prevalent as in less developed countries the numbers are still staggering. The CDC estimates that more than 1.7 million Americans have been infected with HIV since the discovery of the disease and that approximately 619,000 Americans have died since the epidemic began. To provide context, that is more casualties than America’s deadliest war, the Civil War in which 618,222 people were lost on both sides.

In San Diego, according to the County HIV/AIDS Epidemiology Unit, 7,300 San Diegans have been claimed by the disease and as of the latest report by the same unit as many as 7,221 live with the disease today.

Fighting HIV/AIDS on a local level

Locally, various organizations do amazing work in providing services for people diagnosed with HIV or AIDS. In an effort to highlight the work of these organizations San Diego LGBT Weekly spoke with some of their leaders.

Social support: Pozabilities

“The first big step is to get out of the house,” said Jerry Turner, chairman of San Diego Pozabilities. A support group for HIV-affected persons. “There is such a stigma even today and it’s important that people who are diagnosed have groups like this to come to.”

San Diego Pozabilities meets weekly at Filter Coffee House in Hillcrest on Wednesday’s and Saturdays at 10 a.m. The group provides a safe place for HIV positive individuals to network and support each other socially as well as connect with individuals who can point them to services that might be helpful.

For twelve years the group has held a monthly bonfire at Vacation Isle in Mission Beach. The bonfire takes place on the last Tuesday of the month, except in December when it is held New Year’s Eve. A list of events for HIV positive people is listed on their Web site, sandiegopozabilities.com

Service providers: Being Alive and The Center

Being Alive San Diego and the San Diego LGBT Community Center are the leading go-to places for people living with HIV and AIDs. Both organizations provide counseling, and can connect HIV positive persons with resources such as medical care, food assistance and enrollment in federal programs designed to help people diagnosed with HIV or AIDS.

“One of the first things people need to do when they are diagnosed is get over to Being alive,” Jerry Turner told LGBT Weekly. “Between Being Alive, The Center and coming to groups like Pozabilites we can get you to where you need to go.”

Being Alive: 619-291-1400.

San Diego LGBT Community Center: is 619-692-2077.

Mama’s Kitchen

“One of the most critical issues is to bring awareness to HIV and AIDs as it currently impacts our community.” said Alberto Cortes, executive director of Mama’s Kitchen. “Through the years this has ceased to be a front page issue in spite of the fact of the tens of thousands of new infections we see annually. Also it’s important to speak to the fact that many people have trouble with basic health care and economic issues. We see that in the 340 daily meals we provide to people in our community who are diagnosed with AIDS or cancer.”

Mama’s Kitchen has been providing food to HIV, AIDS and cancer patients since 1990 and in March of this year celebrated serving its six millionth meal. This Saturday they will be holding their 20th annual Tree of Life event at Village Hillcrest, 3965 Fifth Ave. in San Diego from 5-7 p.m. to commemorate World AIDs Day.

Testing and prevention: Planned Parenthood, Lead the Way San Diego and Testing Together

While many this World AIDs Day will focus on those lost, others will also advocate prevention and testing.

“Many people assume that, because of our name, Planned Parenthood only offers contraception,” said Jennifer Coburn, director of communications and marketing for Planned Parenthood of the Pacific Southwest. “But we are also a leading provider of STD and HIV testing. We’re here for every person in every community regardless of their income, insurance status, race, gender or sexual orientation.”

Planned Parenthood, The County of San Diego and Lead The Way all provide testing for STDs and HIV.

Planned Parenthood has 10 Health Centers within an eleven mile radius of the 92103 area code. To find a location near you go to plannedparenthood.com/healthcenter and enter your zip code.

The County of San Diego provides free and anonymous testing at the Health and Human Services office located at 3851 Rosecrans Street in San Diego and is open Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Lead the Way San Diego will be hosting free testing on World AIDs Day this Saturday at two locations – the Medical Center Pharmacy at 3904 Park Blvd. and the Lead the Way storefront at 3830 Park Blvd. in Hillcrest, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

Testing Together, a new couples HIV testing and counseling program based at Emory University and offered at the UC San Diego AntiViral Research Center (AVRC), hopes to bring honesty and openness to sexual relationships within gay couples in an attempt to reduce HIV transmission among gay men. Testing Together, funded by the MAC AIDS Fund, provides gay couples with free, confidential HIV testing. Both men in the couple get tested together, get their results together and receive counseling together.

“We know from our recent research that by testing together and getting results together couples can start an ongoing healthy conversation about HIV and talk openly about building a plan to address sexual health issues in their relationship,” said Testing Together project director Patrick

Sullivan, PhD, associate professor of epidemiology at Emory, in a news release announcing the program.

avrc.ucsd.edu

leadthewaysd.com

It’s cheaper to rent than to own. For example, I don’t own a car and rely on public transportation for getting around. I have no worries or financial obligations associated with owning and maintaining a car. If I need a car, I rent one.

I have the same attitude when it comes to getting laid.

I’m fifty-something and have twice survived the dissolution of a long-term relationship. Clearly, I’m not the marrying kind. Although I no longer desire constant companionship, I enjoy an occasional roll in the hay.

The problem is dating sucks. I could easily spend a couple of hundred bucks on a date – cocktails, dinner and a show at the Old Globe. But there’s no guarantee, at the end of the night, the other guy will be sexually compatible.

Or I could simply place two Benjamins on the table and everybody’s expectations are met. No worries or obligations. Just like renting a car.

A confirmed bachelor and long-time buddy once shared his secret to non-marital bliss. “Always keep three ponies in the stable,” he advised. “What’s the difference,” I asked. “The first guy is the one you’d introduce to family and friends. When he’s not available you call the second guy, or “Plan B”. The third place guy is somebody you might not want to be seen with in public, but the sex is really good.”

I liked his strategy. It made sense. Consequently, I’ve curried a collection of colts over the years. One of my go-to guys, the type I could introduce to family and friends, agreed to being interviewed.

Online, “Hollywood” describes himself as: 34, 5’10”, 175 lbs., black, smooth, muscular and well-endowed. Offline, he has a great smile and is easy on the eye. He’s been a reliable steed since we met three years ago.

Lance Ryder: Please describe yourself and what you do for a living?

Hollywood: I’m not gonna tell you my real age. Let’s just say black don’t crack. (laughs) I grew up in Washington, D.C., and came to California for a change of pace, to hang out with peers from college. I visited a few times before making the move. I work for a production company setting up venues for concerts, special events, film shoots – that sort of thing.

How and when did you decide to be an escort?

I was in a tough time financially. A friend of mine told me about the money he was making and I was blown away. I had no idea. I mean how many jobs out there pay $200 an hour? So I got started online about four years ago.

What are the pros and cons of being an escort?

The fast money you can make is definitely a pro. There are a few cons. At first I felt I had to be something I wasn’t, that I was obligated to get with a client just because they hit me up. Not being attracted to a person makes it difficult to stay hard. Or the client is different than they’ve described themselves, or they don’t look like their pictures.

What’s on your mind when you meet a client for the first time?

For me it’s all about truth in advertising. What I tell you I’m all about is what you get. There aren’t any surprises. I focus on making sure the client’s needs have been met. I enjoy what I do. I have a good time and I want them to have a good time, too.

Any celebrity clients? Ever signed a confidentiality agreement?

Yes. They’ve run the gamut; from producers, to actors, to visiting athletes. I’ve never signed a confidentiality agreement, but they want to meet first and get to know me. They need to be comfortable with me. If I’m not what I advertise, then I’m not getting paid.

How do you stay motivated if you’re not attracted to a client?

That’s one of the “cons” and there are guys out there who can only see the money. But my friend who got me started explained that I don’t have to get with everybody who hits me up. I could be selective. It’s important for me as well as the client to have a good time. I’m not a good actor and people know if you’re faking it. There needs to be a connection. If I’m enjoying it, then the client is going to enjoy it. If the client enjoys it, then there’s a good chance he’ll be a return customer.

Have you ever fallen in love with a client? Has a client ever fallen in love with you?

Me? No. Not “in love”, but a client was definitely in “deep like.” Very demanding, expected me to drop everything and just be with him. He was very restrictive and it made me uncomfortable. I’m my own person. I need to be respected.

Have you ever been in a dangerous situation?

No. Never.

What is the biggest misconception people have about escorts?

I have to think about this one. I guess the biggest misconception is that we’re slaves. That just because we’re getting paid means we’ll do anything the client wants. And I guess the biggest surprise is that it’s not always just about sex. Sometimes I’m an attractive intelligent date for a social event. It just comes down to the client having a good time.

Finally, do you ever think about a day when you’d quit escorting?

Sure, a few times. A better financial situation, a better job comes along. Sometimes you get to a point where you can’t do it anymore. Sometimes escorting just runs its course. Some guys take a break from work, and then start up again. And you never know, I might meet a special guy and decide to start a serious relationship.

The names and photos are fictitious. The people and events are real.

Ah, Thanksgiving. That perfect holiday where you can sit back and relax and give thanks for the many wonderful things in your life, your city and your world. With no gifts to worry about and plenty of excuses to overeat, just savor that turkey aroma and help yourself to another piece of pumpkin pie … wait, hold on; is that a call to action I hear?

Mobilizing for the fray

“I need a team on Black Friday,” posted Chad Ladao on his Facebook page. “Someone who can push harder when they get pushed by other shoppers; someone who can pull harder when their item is grabbed by other shoppers and someone who’s willing to carry a 50 inch TV for $298. This job requires dedication, compassion and integrity.”

With a few word tweaks that post could easily have been a recruiting post for the Marine Corps. Chad is ready for battle and as throngs of San Diegans prepare to line up to get the best deals possible at various battlegrounds across the county one could see the merit in his approach. Normally these locations would simply be called “stores” but on this very special day, mere hours after Americans have sat down at Thanksgiving tables across the nation to give thanks for what they have, these “stores” will become flashpoints in a massive commercial free-for-all.

Chad is a two-year combat veteran of shopping Black Friday.

“The first year I went alone and it wasn’t a good idea,” Chad tells San Diego LGBT Weekly. “The second year was better; I brought a friend as backup. This year I’m going to need a team.”

Others take the Jedi approach plan and prepare ahead of time; less combat and more obstacle negotiation. LGBT Weekly reader and shopping Jedi master, Kyle Turner, offers a quick reference guide:

“Firstly, check online Thanksgiving Day to see if they are offering the same specials with store pick-up. Buying online and picking up later can knock a few of the stores off your early morning rush!

“Secondly, have a plan and route. Think about traffic into malls and shopping centers and know alternative routes! This might only shave three minutes off drive time, but could get you 10 people ahead in line!

“Lastly, know what you want, or at least what you think you want! Remember, if you buy too much and have remorse, you can always return the item Saturday! May the force be with you!”

Battleground: Las Americas premium outlets

Many brave sale-seeking souls will take the battle to the border. Las Americas premium outlets will have several stores opening from 9 p.m. Thanksgiving. Various stores have discounts ranging from 10-80 percent off the retail price.

“I am going to Las Americas at midnight,” said Lucia Napolez. “Mainly to get clothes for myself, since my birthday is coming up. Also, some family Christmas shopping.”

Battleground: Best Buy

For those into gizmos and gadgets Best Buy is likely to be a major front in this year’s Black Friday campaign. Among the many advertised sales:

- 40” Toshiba 1080p LCD TV for $179.99 ($240 in savings)

- Various DVD titles including: Batman Begins, The Social Network and Paranormal Activity for $1.99 each ($5 – $25 in savings)

- Various Blu-Ray titles including: Sherlock Holmes, Iron Man 2 and Salt for $3.99 each ($5 – $25 in savings)

- Xbox 360 holiday bundle including a 250 GB hard drive, two games: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Forza Motorsport 4 for $199.99 ($100 in savings)

- Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 7.0 with 8 GB memory for $179.99 ($70 in savings) together with a $20 Best Buy gift card.

Negotiating the peace through online shopping

Some will avoid combat altogether and do their shopping online.

“I am staying home and waiting for Cyber Monday,” said Cindy Green. “I am looking for jewelry and clothes at Kohl’s.”

Cyber Monday is a trend that started in 2005 as retailers embraced the growing online marketplace. One Web site, shop.org, started cybermonday.com as a one-stop shop for the occasion. Cyber Monday traditionally takes place the Monday immediately after Black Friday.

One peace-loving hipster shopper pointed out that online deals start the day of Thanksgiving as well.

“The last couple of years I’ve checked out philosophy.com, hipmountainmama.com, Old Navy online etc.,” posted environmental activist Sara Kent. “A mix of national brands and sustainable, unique hippie gear!”

Had your fill of electronics and gadgets then check out hipmountainmama.com. This is the perfect site for some of our hippie, environmentalist or alternative readers. On their Web site they brand themselves as an eco-friendly mom and pop business that “strives to offer the most unique and fun products while spreading a peaceful vibe.”

Passionate about preserving the Earth they believe they have something for everyone, “… from comfortable bohemian clothing to hip bags, reusable items and good scents.”

Blackfriday.com

For those who really want to embrace the online trend visit blackfriday.com. This is a Web site and iPhone mobile app that allows users to search various sales, get Black Friday mobile alerts and even get cash-back rewards.

“When I was younger I used to line up with the crazies,” said A.J. Isabello. “Now I do most of my shopping online. I check sites like blackfriday.com. If I am going to the stores it’s because I am looking for something I can’t find online. You need football tackling skills to deal with the crowds!”

The politics of retail

While many San Diegans will be battling for the best deals or chilling out shopping from home, spare a thought for all the store clerks coping with this frenzied mass. Beyond those working in the stores there will be others engaged in a fight of a different kind: a fight for fair wages and fair employment practices.

“You could stand with Wal-Mart workers who will be on strike,” posted San Diego and Imperial County Labor Council Field Organizer Sandy Naranjo. “There will be actions throughout San Diego County and workers in Los Angeles and Orange County will be walking off their work sites. Also, the Wal-Mart warehouse workers are on strike now.”

Organizers with the United Food and International Workers Union call the campaign Making Change at Wal-Mart, promising demonstrations at 1,000 Wal-Mart stores across the nation.

Locally, Wal-Mart has seen protests by various organizations from within the San Diego and Imperial County Labor Council.

This Black Friday, if you plan on battling toe-to-toe in the lines with the hordes; if you are going to sit back and wait until Cyber Monday to do your shopping or if you are demonstrating for workers’ rights in solidarity with Wal-Mart workers there’s one piece of advice everyone should heed. Check online first.

Happy Thanksgiving and good hunting.

Cathy Rigby as Peter Pan

Peter Pan hit Broadway in 1955 starring Mary Martin in the title role. Her performance won her a Tony award and since then the character has been portrayed both on stage and screen many, many times.

This week Cathy Rigby brings the role of Peter Pan to life at the Civic Theatre. Complete with Captain Hook, Smee, Wendy and the Lost Boys, the show will run until Nov.18 and will surely delight adults and children alike.

Rigby, who has played and toured the part before is definitely no stranger to Neverland. She started playing the role of the famous Pan around 1990. She also received a Tony nomination for the role and was loved by the critics. Not too shabby for the San Diego gymnast born in 1952.

Rigby gave theater a shot after becoming an Olympic darling, and giving up her gymnastic career in 1972.

“When I retired from gymnastics I didn’t know what I was going to do,” Rigby said. “I decided to start studying voice, acting and dance in Los Angeles and New York. I trained seven years before I had the courage to actually audition. My first role was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. I fell in love with the entire theater community and experience at that moment. I feel really blessed to have found two career passions in my life.”

Rigby’s co-star, Brent Barrett is no stranger to tours or Broadway. He’s been performing on the road and on the Big White Way for many years now; this production marks the second time he has worked with Rigby and he couldn’t be happier.

“Cathy and I toured with Annie Get Your Gun, many years ago and it’s great to be back together again,” Barrett said.

As for getting the chance to play Captain Hook, Barrett is direct in his response. “Who doesn’t want to play a naughty pirate?” he said. “And, I wanted to work with Cathy again in her signature role.”

Rigby seems to be a natural fit for Peter Pan and explains that while her background suits the part she is also a big fan of the role.

Brent Barrett as Capt. Hook with the Pirates

“I’m sure the fact that it was a very physical role and the songs were perfect for my voice made it attractive,” Rigby explained. “But I think once I actually performed it a few times I really fell in love with the emotional depth and complexity of Peter. Being a mischievous, passionate, expressive, spontaneous, adventuresome, direct and emotional child who not only believed any adventure was possible … he knew he had to be the one to make it happen. The other side of Peter was of course narcissistic … selfish and sometimes prone to brooding self-indulgence and cruelty. The challenge in playing this young boy was, and is, to not let anybody see you ‘acting’. [All] great challenges for an actor.”

Rigby confesses that the role of Peter Pan is the kind of role that is a joy to play no matter who plays it.

“I think everyone who has had the joy of playing Peter Pan feels an ownership, or kinship, to this character. If you can really find again that ‘child’ within yourself, it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve done it … Peter Pan belongs to you.”

The fact that Peter Pan, and Rigby herself, have become gay icons, is something that Rigby really loves.

“I really love it!” Rigby said. “Well I do ‘cross dress’ and become a boy eight shows a week … so I think I fit in pretty well, don’t you?”

Rigby’s return to the show is not something we haven’t heard before, but it is definitely reassuring to hear an actor speak so positively about the work they do.

“This show continues to resonate with the young and the young at heart,” Rigby explained. “Its message of growing up but not growing old is important for all of us to strive for. Life can be tough. It’s easy to become pessimistic and hopeless. The challenge is to become a bit like Peter Pan. Maybe even a little magical in your thinking. But hey, most kids are pretty hopeful and passionate about the possibilities in life. What better way to be happy and motivated than to believe anything is possible.”

Rigby runs her own theater in La Mirada, Calif., but still finds the time to perform in tours like Peter Pan when she can. Most would think that Peter Pan was the only role she’s played but along with her own company, Rigby has been in a few notable shows.

“I’ve done quite a few shows at our theater,” Rigby said. “Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, Annie Oakley in Annie Get Your Gun, Molly Brown in The Unsinkable Molly Brown, Silvia in the A.R. Gurney’s play Silvia and M’Lynn in Steel Magnolias.

Cathy Rigby as Peter Pan

While Rigby loves to perform, it is clear that giving back to the community is something she supports and feels very strongly about.

“My husband and I also run the McCoy Rigby Conservatory of the Arts in Yorba Linda, Calif., “Rigby said. “We have over 400 children who are studying music, theater, acting, singing and dance. It has been incredibly rewarding to be able to pay it forward and give children the opportunity to realize their own unique artistic potential.”

Peter Pan runs this week at the Civic Theatre, downtown San Diego. For tickets and for more information contact the theater at broadwaysd.com, or at 619-564-3000.

Todd Gloria

By now, you undoubtedly know the candidates who won the elections you care about. Electoral gains, however, aren’t limited to the people who win offices. A variety of other people and interests saw their stock change this week. Here is your investor’s guide to the next round of politicians and issues.

Buy:

Number crunchers. Since the rejuvenation of the Romney campaign after the first debate, there has been a battle between the conservative punditry and the new generation of polling analysts. As election night approached, the number crunchers showed an increasingly likely Obama victory, with his chances near 90 percent by election night. The pundits said the polls, even the “poll of polls” were wrong because they were measuring too liberal an electorate. Tuesday night, the numbers won, with the president winning a sweeping victory much faster than even the pollsters guessed. The victory was engineered by Obama’s head number cruncher, David Plouffe, who ran the 2008 campaign, and kept the voter targeting and turnout machine running through 2012. Overall, a great night for the nerds.

Buy:

Lorena Gonzalez. Progressives have long assumed that the question was when, not if, Gonzalez would run for office. Having led labor’s defeat of Prop. 32 and its support of the victorious Mayor Bob Filner, she is riding a wave of success that may coincide with an open seat in the California Assembly, as Assemblymember Ben Hueso likely runs for the state Senate seat of now Congressman Juan Vargas. Gonzalez would be wise to follow the advice that Sen. Dick Durbin gave then Sen. Barack Obama in 2007: don’t wait.

Sell:

Tony Krvaric. With the possible exception of Carl DeMaio, no one is more identified with the San Diego Republican Party’s embrace of the Tea Party at the expense of a more moderate tradition of mayors including Jerry Sanders and Dick Murphy. With DeMaio defeated and the Council under Democratic control for the foreseeable future, Krvaric’s days are numbered. National conservative leaders may survive by turning their fire on Romney, who was never a true-blue (true-red?) conservative. Having run Carl DeMaio, Krvaric lacks even that option.

Shirley Weber and Toni Atkins

Buy:

Marriage Equality. Even a single victory would have ended the National Organization for Marriage’s talking point that “same-sex marriage has been defeated every time it has been put to a vote.” With apparent victories across the country, including openly lesbian Sen. Tammy Baldwin, Tuesday was a smack-down of intolerance. Equality’s stock has been rising throughout this cycle starting with the endorsement of a sitting president. Nearly as important was the fact that Republicans have chucked the issue as a wedge, knowing that anti-equality candidates turn off independent voters in most races. A slight counter-weight is that trading Congressman Filner for Congressman Vargas actually lost a vote for marriage equality in San Diego’s delegation, but hopefully he’ll come around soon.

Hold:

Progressive Redistricting Efforts. Had Democrats lost control of the City Council, this would be a “Sell.” But Lightner survived, and with Democratic Districts 4 and 8 up in 2014, they will likely retain control until at least 2016. Still, it’s not the 7-2 split some were predicting. If prospects begin to look good for picking up District 6 and a veto-proof majority in 2014, “Buy” may be just on the horizon.

Buy:

Independent Nathan Fletcher. While he could still become a Democrat, were that his plan Fletcher likely would have endorsed Rep. Bob Filner for mayor. Instead, he wisely sat out a very nasty race while endorsing a slate of candidates and initiatives that cemented his independent status. They didn’t all win, but his support of Prop. Z could help him make education a signature issue the next time his name is on the ballot. Under California’s jungle primary, he’s a threat to take the middle in any swing district and add the losing party’s supporters for the general.

Buy:

Nathan Fletcher

Meddling in primaries. People may remember Rep. Todd Akin’s mention of “legitimate rape” more than any other quote from this election cycle. They may not remember that Sen. Claire McCaskill saw it coming. In a tight Republican primary, incumbent Democrat McCaskill saw an opportunity to choose Akin, the most right wing, as her challenger. Cannily running ads that he was “too conservative” for Missouri, she helped drive the far right to the polls for him. When he began to implode, she did what all smart politicians do … stood back and watched, throwing just enough gas on the pyre to ensure moderate and female voters remembered what he said through Election Day.

Sell:

Personhood. Honestly, if you held this stock after a personhood amendment was defeated in Mississippi, get a new broker. Since then, the Supreme Court has refused to hear a challenge to an Oklahoma ruling against allowing it on the state ballot, and both Rep. Akin and Rep. Richard Mourdock have proven that once people know what you mean, you can’t win a Senate race.

Buy:

Councilmember Todd Gloria and Assemblywoman Toni Atkins. Both were early supporter of Scott Peters, and were critical in getting him through the crowded primary. Having seen the spending and ads, even some Saldana supporters wonder if she could have done as well in the general. After winning re-election in the primary, Gloria was instrumental in pulling fellow Democratic Councilwoman Sherri Lightner over the finish line, protecting Democratic control of City Council. Atkins helped get Dr. Shirley Weber into the Assembly, and was a constant presence at local Democratic events, particularly but not exclusively in the LGBT community. In the process, they cemented the concept that Progressive and Democratic politics in San Diego run through the LGBT community. The only thing that could stop one in his or her next election would be running against the other.

Hold:

Pension Reform. Since Prop. B became law, candidate Filner really had no choice but to say he would implement it or feed into an already problematic narrative. Mayor Filner will likely look for ways to stop, delay or moderate it. If the courts are involved, City Attorney Goldsmith may advocate for it, providing re-runs of the Mayor vs. Mike Aguirre, a drama no one wants to watch. Filner’s election gives unions some hope of a better deal, but the process may be long and ugly.

Claire McCaskill

Hold:

Carl DeMaio. Running as a Republican in a major California city is a tough road, and DeMaio isn’t the first to lose a race. If he didn’t spend Wednesday looking at future races, he’ll likely do it soon. Once he finds a race where his fiscal conservatism fits, he can spend the run up deciding whether to keep drinking with the Tea Party or rehab his moderate image. Expect him to be in the mix for county supervisor or U.S. Representative in Republican leaning districts. Depending on the election, round 2 vs. Nathan Fletcher isn’t impossible.

Sell:

San Diego Union-Tribune. Romney landslide? Not so much. But being too excited about your candidate is more forgivable than the polls that showed DeMaio up by 10 and Bilbray by 9. The final numbers may be within their margin of error, but that’s not saying much. If the newsroom wants credibility, they’ll need to overhaul their polling. They could start by talking to some city employees.

Last week, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) and OutServe, the association of actively serving LGBT military personnel, announced the selection of transgender Army veteran Allyson Robinson to lead the newly combined organization. In her first interview since her appointment Robinson spoke to San Diego LGBT Weekly columnist Autumn Sandeen about her new role and what she wanted to achieve.

Autumn Sandeen: Allyson, thank you so much for taking the time to speak to me.

In the recent OutServe-SLDN video (See the video at LGBTweekly.com) you identified the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and open service for transgender servicemembers as two issues where LGBT servicemembers are being left behind. Will they be the two primary issues for OutServe-SLDN going forward?

Allyson Robinson: Thanks for asking that. That’s what really brought me into this work; what made me first want to do this job. As I watched the national conversation and the movement conversation since repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, I started to sense this feeling that we were done; that we could move on from focusing on these issues and place our focus elsewhere. In fact, I’ve heard people express those things explicitly to me over the past couple of years.

But, it was very clear to me that we were not done – that we really had just started. The repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell represented just the beginning of the fight for full equality for LGBT servicemembers.

That dissonance between what I was seeing and what I knew to be true touched one of my most deeply held values. That is, we don’t leave anyone behind. That’s who we are as servicemembers and who we are as veterans.

In the OutServe-SLDN video I mentioned DOMA very specifically. DOMA is having a distinctly negative impact on the lives of gay and lesbian servicemembers and their families. It prevents the Department of Defense (DOD) and their units from recognizing their relationships and their families.

One of those things about DOMA is that it’s a national security issue.

When a servicemember deploys, their family isn’t just left hanging back at home station. They have a family support group. They have access to medical facilities and to the PX or BX, the commissary – all of these other facilities. They have the comfort of knowing that, God forbid, should something terrible happen to their servicemember, they’ll be able to visit them in the hospital. That they’ll be among the first to know when that happens.

And, knowing that our families are cared for and supported allows us, as soldiers or sailors or airmen or Marines or Coast Guardsmen, to fight more effectively. We know they are being taken care of back home.

Not having that knowledge has a negative impact on somebody. It has a negative impact on war fighting capability. That’s why DOMA is a national security issue. That’s one.

Two, there are actually many, many benefits that the DOD could grant today with the stroke of a pen. They’re not dependent upon DOMA. The DOD has developed recommendations; they have not acted on those recommendations. I would love to ask them why. What is holding us up?

You may have that opportunity now?

I certainly will, and I will make that opportunity now. It is our family members – our servicemembers’ families – we owe them more than that. Their sacrifice entitles them to more consideration than they’re being given at the Pentagon right now.

Open service for qualified transgender Americans is a priority for us as well – this is number three.

There are many of us who would love the opportunity to serve our country and who are willing to put our lives on the line for the nation and its people. We are being prevented from doing so by outdated medical regulations; by a set of archaic policies related to transgender and gender variant people.

Clearly, this is an area that OutServe has had as a part of its mission from the beginning. SLDN, from very early in its existence, has as well. It’s an area that I had the privilege to work on while I was at the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), and I’m bringing that with me.

And then the fourth, Autumn, has to do with our veterans. Considerations for transgender veterans – changes to their documentation.

Right. DD-214s and such.

A lot of gay and lesbian servicemembers – whether they were kicked out under Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell or prior, now have “homosexual conduct,” “personality disorder,” and on and on, stamped on their DD-214s – their official military personnel records.

As you know, those things have a very real impact on a veteran’s life after they’ve left the service. SLDN has been very involved since repeal in helping servicemembers upgrade their discharge status. We’re going to continue to be involved in helping veterans to ensure that their records reflect their honorable service.

Those are the four things I’ve put out there that are going to be our priorities.

On that last point, is this actually changing the DD-214 discharge document, or would the upgrade be changed by DD-215s as a correction to the DD-214?

According to OutServe-SLDN Communications Director Zeke Stokes, those who receive an upgrade are issued new DD-214s, dated with their original discharge date, completely wiping away previous existing records.

What are the current issues you’re hearing about from servicemembers when they’re calling for assistance?

They really run the gamut. We received our 12,000th call for assistance just last week.

They are from people who are trying to secure a certain benefit for their family, people who feel they are being discriminated against by their command. And recently, from a dual military same-sex couple who are trying to get assigned together like any straight couple would have the opportunity to when they have a permanent change of command.

The list goes on. For example, transgender servicemembers who are seeking advice and counsel on what they can and cannot do under the current regulations.

I’m amazed at the work our legal team does in helping provide advice and counsel on behalf of those who call us.

Allyson, you’re the first trans person ever to be the executive director of a national LGBT organization. What are your thoughts about being the one to break that barrier?

That’s true, at least, but others have done as much.

It’s really exciting to me to have this opportunity; to join an organization that is willing to put its money where its mouth is in living out its values of inclusion. That it’s about character and qualifications and not about identity or sexual orientation.

I think I’m the best qualified person to do this work right now. And, I’m thrilled that the board agrees with me on that topic.

I’m very passionate about this work and about working for this part of our community – my family – the military family.

As it relates to history, I just feel as though I need to focus on the vision and the mission and get the job done. And, that’s when I’ll feel like I’ve made some history.

Not in the job title then, but in the work you do?

Yes, I think so. Because it’s one thing to be selected to be the first person to do something, but to be successful, not just to show you can get picked, but that you can do the job. I think those are the kind of role models that young LGBT people need – not just trans people, but young LGBT people. They need to be able to look and see that there are people like them that are out there doing amazing things every day.

That’s what inspired me.

It inspired me to see people like Meghan Stabler, Jamison Greene and Mara Keisling, and so many others doing amazing things.

And, that’s where my focus is. When we can look back at all of those [four] goals that I’ve laid out for you and say “Yes, we’ve done those things.” When I can stand up and say “My name is Allyson Robinson, and I’m the director of OutServe-SLDN, and I represent 15,000 members.” Or “I represent 20,000 LGBT servicemembers and their families.” We know right now there are at least 65,000. When this organization has grown to become a support and a resource for many, many more of them. That’s when I’ll think we’ve made some history.

But, it’s a great honor. It really is. A value that I learned from my military family is that service on behalf of good people and a good cause is the greatest honor that anyone can receive. And these are good people. And this is a good cause. So I feel very honored to step in and be a part of it.

Well, we’re honored to have you.

Thank you so much for your service, and thank you so much for this interview.

The assistance hotline numbers for OutServe-SLDN are 800-538-7418 or 202-328-3244 x100. The alternative email address to contact OutServe-SLDN for assistance is legal@sldn.org

In every election, someone will tell you that voting is a matter of life and death. This year, it’s literally true in California, as Proposition 34 would repeal the death penalty and replace it with life imprisonment without the possibility of parole.

Oddly, life and death may not even be the most important thing to you on the ballot this year. If you’ve been under a rock, we are also electing a new mayor, deciding who controls City Council, and possibly changing the majority of San Diego’s Congressional delegation.

Hate candidate politics and don’t care about the death penalty? There’s still probably something for you on the ballot this year, what with education, food labeling, taxes, human trafficking, car insurance, and energy initiatives all affected by propositions this year.

What follows is a rundown of some of those races and ballot propositions, so no excuses about not voting down ballots because you don’t understand the issue. More guidance is always available on the Web sites of the secretary of state, the county board of elections and your party of choice.

Polling information is included for some races and initiatives. Where various pollsters generally agreed, I tried to choose recent representative polls from reputable sources. Where polls disagreed significantly, I have included multiple polls.

Race: Mayor of San Diego

In the June primary, Councilmember Carl DeMaio bested Rep. Bob Filner 32-30 percent, with the remainder going largely to Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher and District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis, who didn’t make it through to the general. While the race is technically non-partisan, typically Republican constituencies, such as social conservatives and the business community, are lining up behind DeMaio, while Democratic allied labor and environmental groups are backing Filner. Recent polling has been all over the map, with the DeMaio backing Union Tribune releasing a poll that oddly excluded city employees and showed DeMaio up by 10 points with a 5 point margin of error. Meanwhile, a memo from Competitive Edge unearthed by LGBT Weekly shows the race nearly tied. Who to believe? Perhaps SurveyUSA, whose last primary poll was within 2 points of every candidate’s final margin, and who have Filner up by 7. Filner’s team will take nothing for granted given the size of DeMaio’s war chest for the final days of the campaign. Unions and other outside groups will try to help Filner narrow the spending gap.

Poll: SurveyUSA (10/15/12) Filner 47 percent, DeMaio 40 percent.

Race: San Diego City Council

The race between incumbent Sherri Lightner and Ray Ellis is non-partisan and only for District 1, but party control of City Council hangs in the balance. Four Councilmembers didn’t have to run this year: two Democrats, Young (D-4) and Alvarez (D-8); and two Republicans, Faulconer and Zapf (D-6). Four races were decided in the 2012 primary, with victors including incumbent Democrats Gloria (D-3) and Emerald (D-9) and new Republican faces Kersey (D-5) and Sherman (D-7). Lightner v. Ellis will break that 4-4 tie, and determine if San Diego’s next mayor has the Council pushing his agenda forward or holding it back.

Ellis narrowly beat Lightner in the primary, but endorsements from the two other primary candidates and the more Democratic November electorate should help Lightner. In the plus column for Ellis are the $50,000 he has contributed to his own campaign and the endorsement of Republican turned Independent Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher.

Poll: None.

Race: County Board of Supervisors, District 3

The retirement of incumbent Supervisor Pam Slater-Price means the board of supervisors will have its first new face in almost 20 years, and it will either be Dave Roberts, the deputy mayor of Solana Beach, or North County resident Steve Danon. This is another non-partisan race where no one is hiding their affiliations. Roberts, an openly gay Democrat, has benefited from a cross-party endorsement from Slater-Price, a party motivated to reclaim a spot on the board, and an LGBT community looking for a seat at the table. Danon is well connected in Republican circles as a former chief of staff to both Supervisor Ron Roberts and Congressman Brian Bilbray, and scored the endorsement of primary foe Carl Hillard. Danon won the primary by only 2 points, and the lack of internal polls released suggests that the race may still be close.

Poll: None.

Race: U.S. Representative, CA-52

The new CA-52 has a chunk of incumbent Rep. Brian Bilbray’s old CA-50, but underwent significant changes in voter affiliation. The new district is split nearly evenly between Democrats, Republicans, and Decline to State voters (DTS), and would have voted for President Obama in 2008 (55 percent) but would have elected Gov. Meg Whitman in 2010 (50 percent).

Those numbers make Rep. Bilbray the most beatable incumbent in the San Diego congressional delegation since now Rep. Susan Davis bested Rep. Bilbray in 2000. After placing second in the primary with 22.5 percent of the vote, former San Diego City Council President Scott Peters has worked hard to solidify his Democratic support and win over DTS voters. The latter effort was recently helped by this year’s must-have moderate street cred – the endorsement of Independent Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher.

The path for Democrats to take back the house runs through CA-52, so the race has gotten national attention, with more outside spending than any other Congressional race. Those dollars, along with well-financed campaigns and engaged local parties may make this the most expensive race in San Diego this year. If you’ve somehow missed the barrage of advertising, the narratives are fairly clear. Bilbray wants to tie Peters to San Diego’s pension problems. Peters wants voters to see Bilbray as a lobbyist and Tea Party extremists. Each attacks the other on planned Medicare cuts. A recent Union-Tribune poll shows Bilbray ahead, but within a wide five point margin of error. Each campaign has released polling showing their candidate ahead. Bilbray is notably below 50 percent in all three polls, often considered dangerous territory for incumbents.

Polls: U-T/USD (10/14-10/17) Bilbray 47 percent, Peters 38 percent; Bilbray campaign (10/18) Bilbray 48 percent, Peters 44 percent; Peters Campaign (10/26) Bilbray 40 percent Peters 45 percent

Race: California State Senate, District 39

LGBT trailblazing Sen. Christine Kehoe could probably have kept this seat forever if it weren’t for term limits. Democratic Assemblymember Marty Block bested George Plescia in the primary, but didn’t hit the 50 percent mark, leading to the run off. Block’s 3 point margin in the primary makes the race sound closer than it is, assuming most of the 18,500 voters who chose fellow Democrat Patrick Marsh in June line up behind Block.

Poll: None.

Prop. 30: Temporary Taxes to Fund Education. Guaranteed Local Public Safety Funding. Initiative Constitutional Amendment

Gov. Brown supports Prop. 30 so he can use money from tax increases to prevent further cuts to education. My friend the teacher supports it to keep her salary from being cut. Opponents argue that tax increases are bad, or that the money won’t so clearly go to education. Support has dropped under 50 percent, which is a dangerous place for a ballot proposition (unless, sadly, it supports LGBT rights).

Polls: Public Policy Institute of California (PPIC)(10/14-21) Yes 48 percent No 44 percent

Prop. 32: Political Contributions by Payroll Deduction. Contributions to Candidates. Initiative Statute

If you haven’t heard about this proposition, you’re not watching much TV. Supporters say it helps decrease the power of special interests in politics. Opponents say it attacks unions and accepts powerful business interests. Here are direct quotes from the state voter guide: “Prohibits unions from using payroll-deducted funds for political purposes. Applies same use prohibition to payroll deductions, if any, by corporations or government contractors” and “Other political expenditures remain unrestricted, including corporate expenditures from available resources not limited by payroll deduction prohibition.” Seems kind of like vegetarians proposing we ban eating meat, and claiming it affects them, too.

Poll: PPIC (10/14-21) Yes 39 percent No 53 percent.

Prop. 33: Auto Insurance Companies. Prices Based on Driver’s History of Insurance Coverage. Initiative Statute

This initiative would allow insurance companies to give discounts to drivers with prior, or continuous coverage. It also allows cost hikes on drivers who have had more than a 90-day gap in coverage. Proponents say Prop. 33 “will result in more competition between insurance companies and better insurance rates.” Opponents rebut with potentially legitimate snark: “When was the last time an insurance company executive spent $8 million on a ballot initiative to save you money?”

Poll: CA Business Roundtable/Pepperdine (10/7-10) Yes 54 percent No 34 percent

Prop 34: Death Penalty. Initiative Statute.

Opponents of the death penalty are back, and it’s all about the money, at least in the official summary: convert death sentences to life imprisonment, save $100 million or more annually, and give it to law enforcement for homicide and rape cases. It’s not until the “Argument in Favor” page that we get to preventing the death of innocent people. Opponents argue that the ACLU is the problem, and ask “Do you think giving vicious killers lifetime housing and healthcare benefits saves money? Of course not!” The problem with the latter argument is that the legislative analyst’s estimate suggests it will save money.

Poll: USC Dornsife/L.A. Times (10/15-21) Yes 42 percent No 45 percent

Prop. 36: Three Strikes Law. Repeat Felony Offenders. Penalties. Initiative Statute.

If you’re wondering how a good law might have unintended consequences, look no further. Proponents argue that the “three strikes law” enacted in 1994 has contributed to prison overcrowding and costs by mandating life imprisonment for perpetrators whose third felony conviction wasn’t serious or violent. Prop. 36 would allow those re-sentencing of many of those cases where sex, drug, or firearm offenses weren’t involved. Opponents argue that the law, as is, decreased the crime rate and that Prop. 36 would release dangerous criminals from prison. Advocates say Prop. 36 is tough and smart on crime. The analyst agrees it could save nearly $100 million annually.

Poll: USC Dornsife/L.A. Times (10/15-21) Yes 63 percent No 22 percent

Prop. 37: Genetically Engineered Foods. Labeling. Initiative Statute.

As a scientist, I feel that I should be able to make this food labeling initiative digestible for you. I can’t. The first bullet point “Requires labeling on raw or processed food offered for sale to consumers if made from plants or animals with genetic material changed in specified ways.” Proponents say consumers have a right to know what’s in their food to make healthy choices. Opponents see no proof it will help, wonder why the third bullet point exempts products like certified organic food and alcoholic beverages, and fear a flood of bureaucracy and lawsuits. Mendel’s peas were simpler.

Poll: CA Business Roundtable/Pepperdine (10/7-10) Yes 48 percent No 42 percent

Prop. 38: Tax to Fund Education and Early Childhood Programs. Initiative Statute

Hmmm … increase taxes to fund education … sounds a lot like Prop. 30. True, but those in favor argue Prop. 38 will do a better job of ensuring that the legislature can’t divert the money, and that it goes to students, not salaries and pensions. The opposition’s Web site encapsulates many of their arguments: StoptheMiddleClassTaxHike.com. I’m told that Props, 30 and 38 are written such that if both pass, the one that gets more votes gets implemented.

Poll: PPIC (10/14-21) Support 39 percent Oppose 53 percent.

Prop. 40: Redistricting. State Senate Districts. Referendum.

Some people didn’t like the state Senate Districts drawn by the Citizens Redistricting Commission, so they gathered enough signatures to put Prop. 40 on the ballot as a referendum to “approve” the Commission’s Senate Districts. If that’s seems confusing, it is: the important point is that you should vote YES. If that seems one-sided, it’s because even the people who forced the referendum say “The Supreme Court reviewed the process and intervened to keep the district lines in place … this measure is not needed and we are no longer asking for a NO vote.” Finally, everyone agrees!

The Hinkle house

The holiday season is upon us and by holiday I don’t mean Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am referring to the holiday, that highest of holy days for most gay men; from the moment we stumble across mom’s jewelry box right past middle age when makeup and monsters continue to give us a thrill.

Am I stereotyping? Well, yes. There are plenty of lesbians who love Halloween just as much, perhaps even more, and there are handbags full of gay men who are over it. “Halloween is nothing to me,” Rob, one of my more fabulous friends told me. “I used to do drag and dress up 3-5 times a week. To me Halloween is money to waste on costumes, crap and cover charges everywhere you go.”

He has a point but most Americans, gay and straight will disagree. Right now men, women and children across the land are excitedly preparing themselves for Oct. 31. They are reveling in this once-a-year opportunity to put silly clothes on, smother themselves in fake blood, attach a hatchet to their back and say Boo!

It occurred to me that a lot of creative juices must be flowing during these days and weeks before All Hallows’ Eve. In fact it is probably a time when our gayest genes get fully exercised (or exorcised). Our camp sensibility collides with shrewd insight. Crafty ingenuity meets up with fevered excess. Then, when society grants us all permission to be queer for a day, before you know it an over-the-top spectacle of glamour and gore has crept into the LGBT community’s annual calendar.

But, then it’s over. Poof! Gone. Just like that. All that remains is a hangover, a smear of glittery make-up on your pillow and a sprinkling of photos. Not so this year! This year I made it my mission to savor the moment and appreciate the artistry that goes into creating a Halloween event. Plus, I am from England where Halloween is nothing more than a blip on the holiday radar. I was curious to find out what motivates Halloween fanatics to go the whole hog with the pumpkins and the cobwebs, beginning the moment the clock ticks a minute past Labor Day.

Kiefla

I began with Kiefla, one of the most sought after make-up artists in San Diego. He is a teacher, he has a regular clientele and he has some mad special effects skills. I asked him if he knew anyone planning for Halloween this far out. “Are you kidding!” he screamed. “I am always busy this time of year but this is my busiest October ever. I’ve been slammed since the beginning of the month.”

As it happened Kiefla had a packed Saturday ahead of him so I asked if I could tag along. However, I was not waking up at 5 a.m. to watch him create one-hundred zombies (chasers not stumblers) for a 5k obstacle course in Temecula. So we decided to rendezvous at a lesbian couple’s house in Chula Vista, where he was scheduled to transform the hosts into Beetlejuice and Lydia.

But first, I had another appointment deep in the heart of Logan Heights.

“It’s become a tradition.” Kevin Stroman told me. Kevin and his husband Bryan Balderman have been together four years and this is their fourth Halloween party.

Bryan admits that he is the more Halloween addicted of the two. He specifically enjoys Disney’s take on Tim Burton’s animated favorite The Nightmare Before Christmas, an aesthetic that inspires the couple’s decoration theme. Scary, faux photos have replaced real photos in many picture frames; there are purple ribbons everywhere and wax drips over old musty books and a candelabrum. Overhead, clots of spider-webbing hang from an invisible mesh spanning the ceiling.

Bryan Balderman and Kevin Stroman

“We’ve been decorating since Labor Day.” Bryan tells me. Then Kevin flicks a switch instantly plunging the house’s dark interior into a jittery swarm of black, red and purple lights. “The lights are new,” Kevin says. Right on cue their black cat appears and starts rubbing my arm. “Was the cat purchased specially for a midnight sacrifice?” I ask. No one laughs. Apparently not.

“I’d better change,” Bryan says. I’m dressing as an old man.” He goes upstairs looking like an ordinary twenty-something in jeans and a T-shirt. Five minutes later he re-emerges wearing a ratty wife-beater and an old pair of sweats pulled up to his armpits. Bryan is a performer by profession and he has pulled off quite a transformation. Omar, the couple’s roommate has spookily appeared out of nowhere. I ask him what he’s going as. “A skeleton,” he says, looking at Bryan, adding: “I would never dress so that I look less attractive.” My sentiments exactly!

I know Kiefla is waiting but I want to ask Bryan why he enjoys Halloween so much. I hover in a bathroom doorway watching him apply wrinkles to his forehead, his head haloed by a swirl of bat decals stuck to the shower door. Is it me or is his old-man stoop becoming increasingly crooked. He is seriously focused on applying his make-up.

“I like dress-up,” he says, “And decorating. I like older things. As a kid I loved Halloween and I still do. I’d love to have a business decorating people’s houses at this time of year.” We chat briefly about why the holiday is so popular in the U.S. and agree that it probably has something to do with the culture’s commercialization of anything, especially those things it needs to suppress, like the demonic. “But,” he adds, “my enjoyment of Halloween is related to my Wiccan belief.” It’s an association I did not expect.

A guest bustles into the house clutching a bag and a wig just as I leave. “What’s your costume?” I ask him as we pass each other in the hall. “Just a drag queen,” he answers, chirpily. “Anyone in particular?” I probe. “Fitting into the dress is all that I’m going for.”

Bryan Balderman

Predictably I get lost in Chula Vista. I turn left and then right and then left again and it is clear I have arrived at my destination. How do I know? Well, picture a neat row of suburban bungalows all of them painted beige and brown. Now picture the third one on the right smothered in orange lights and caked in witches. It’s the gayest building on the block!

The whole property is wrapped in tape that proclaims caution and danger. A huge coffin is propped up in the corner of the yard; beside it is a skeleton sat bolt upright, then several more witches, a miniature graveyard, an inflatable pumpkin and an inflatable black carriage with an inflatable horse. I look for a house number to double-check the address but there’s a huge black bat dangling above the front door. There’s no doubt this is the home of Mona and Kellie Hinkle.

“It’s our second party so I guess it’s become a tradition.” Kellie tells me. This tradition thing sounds familiar. The couple has been together seven years and five at this address. “I love it!” Mona adds, outing herself as the Halloween addict in the relationship. She tells me that it’s a straight neighborhood but they have influenced their neighbors who have recently begun to decorate too. “The kids come and stare at our house for hours,” she says with deserved pride. “We’ll have 500 kids trick-or-treating on Halloween!”

Kiefla arrives from his zombie event with his make-up paraphernalia. He looks like an impish Halloween trickster but it’s not a seasonal thing. He’s sporting a black bowler hat, a nose ring, a pierced lip and a lot of tattoos. “Are those new or painted on?” I ask, pointing at thinly drawn cobweb sideburns either side of his face. “They’re real,” he says. “I just got them.” Then he hustles off to the kitchen to start spray-painting Beetlejuice’s Lydia onto Kellie’s waiting face.

Mona gives me a quick tour. The backyard is chock full of Halloween-themed tables and chairs and monsters and mannequins and guillotines. “Where do you keep all this stuff the rest of the year?” I ask. “In the garage and two attics,” she tells me. “We have just as many decorations for Christmas.”

Kellie Hinkle

The second annual Hinkle Halloween party is going to be a big event and Mona comes across as a serious, well-calibrated planner. But she lights up like a kid when she surveys all the toys and decorations. “I’ve loved Halloween since I was young,” she tells me. “My mom made my costumes for school and I always won the contests. For me it’s all about making your own costumes; not just buying something.”

Kiefla summons her to the make-up chair. Mona is going as the titular Beetlejuice and it’s her turn to get sprayed. I ask Kiefla what his schedule is like and he lists a number of events stretching into November ending with Dia de los Muertos, Nov. 2. I survey his very idiosyncratic style and ask about his relationship to Halloween. He looks up from his focused concentration for the first time and says, “I love it. I consider myself Wiccan. It’s an important holiday in that tradition.” Then he turns back to Mona and sprays another mist of “death white” onto her face.

They still have a lot to do so I take off, hitting the freeway just as the clouds open with rain. It occurs to me that I’ve met five new people but in that small sample a few traits are clear. Both couples are eager to name their events a tradition, reminding me that all families need these bonding customs and that strong communities rely on them for cohesion. It also seemed to me that three of the five party planners were enthusiastically re-living fond childhood experiences which were actively connecting them to that youthfulness LGBT folks are often known for.

I know that straight folks in the States enjoy it just as much, but there was something refreshingly young in the way Kiefla, Bryan and Mona in particular were engaged in the fantasy.

BY JONATHAN YOUNG

Lance Bass is accustomed to being in the spotlight. He’s performed with the record-breaking NSYNC, trained to be an astronaut, cut a rug with swing dance champ Lacey Schwimmer on Dancing with the Stars and has revealed to the world he is gay with a cover story in People magazine – just to name a few of his shining moments. Now, the singer-actor-producer-dancer-author is stepping into the spotlight once again, here in San Diego, as he guest stars in a staged reading of 8.

Performed Nov. 19 at the Birch North Park Theatre, 8 is an unprecedented account of the Federal District Court trial in Perry v. Schwarzenegger (now Perry v. Brown), the case to overturn Prop. 8 that stripped gay and lesbian Californians of the right to marry.

“The show is a reading of a play written by Dustin Lance Black,” Bass told the San Diego LGBT Weekly. “He based the play on the actual words from the transcripts of the trial to overturn Prop. 8 back in 2010. The defense fought to keep what happened in the courtroom from the public. So, Dustin Lance Black took the transcripts and wrote the play – which, I believe, is really spot-on as to what actually took place, in a condensed version for sure.”

Bass is joined on stage with other celebrities, a tradition of 8 performances. One of the first performances, for example, included stars George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Martin Sheen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jane Lynch, Kevin Bacon and was directed by Rob Reiner.

“Since I am compassionate about equal rights, I thought it would be fun to work with some really talented people like Bruce Vilanch (Hollywood Squares), Annette O’Toole (Smallville), Dustin Lance Black and others while helping to spread the message of marriage equality,” Bass said. Vilanch and O’Toole are performing in the show; Black is leading a talk-back session after the play.

“I wanted to perform in the show because I think it is so important to spread the word for equal rights and civil liberties,” Bass continued. “Not allowing gay marriage is infringing on a human right. I think the people who come see the reading will become educated on the issue, ultimately strengthening the cause. The Q&A, which is held after every performance, is an opportunity for people to learn more about how they can get involved and about the latest updates on the marriage equality fight.”

So who should see the show?

“I think everyone would benefit from seeing the show,” he answered. “People who support gay marriage and people who may not necessarily support gay marriage, but can have an open mind to listen to views different than their own. The more eyes and ears we have on the issue will help spread the word that everyone should be allowed to marry who they love.”

Bass has been in the spotlight, advocating equal rights for the LGBT community since revealing he is gay in 2006. The play is a reflection of his greatest joys and struggles since his coming out.

“(Coming out) has definitely changed for the better as I have been able to live my life with no secrets and exactly who I am. It’s been such a freeing experience,” he explained. “My greatest joy has probably been being able to hear all the stories about how I have personally helped people come out by me coming out. That always makes me happy.”

In contrast, Bass says that his greatest struggle since coming out is, “having to live in a world where there are such close-minded people that will not accept others for who they are and who think that they can tell other people who to love and who to marry.”

“Though we have made huge strides in my lifetime, there is still a lot of work to do. We need to make the world more open-minded for those kids out there who are growing up and want to be themselves,” he said.

In addition to sharing the story of Prop. 8, the reading does just that: it is a benefit for the American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER), an organization dedicated to protecting and advancing equal rights for every American and the sole sponsor of the Prop. 8 trial.

“AFER is the lead challenger of Prop. 8 and proceeds go toward their work of ensuring full federal marriage equality,” Bass said. “Ticket sales will go to AFER and the work to overturn Prop. 8 in California.”

Tickets are available at the Birch North Park Theatre box office at 2891 University Ave. in North Park (619-239-8836) or online at birchnorthparktheatre.net. Tickets for the Nov. 19 show start at $19.95, with a limited number of VIP tickets available. VIP tickets include access to a meet-and-greet with the cast – including Bass – and preferred seating.

After the San Diego show, Bass plans to stay in the spotlight for a while longer. The pop star is working on a new Web site venture, a television series, and even a radio show.

“I am currently working on an e-commerce site called FamousYardSale.com where celebrities sell items in their homes, closets, offices, etc on the FYS Web site and give the proceeds to charity,” he explains. “I am also working on the Lifetime show version of the Web site.”

Bass also broadcasts a daily radio show on Sirius XM 108, called Dirty Pop with Lance Bass. “It’s a busy time!”

An early location of The Center (above), and The Center today (below).

San Diego has a very vibrant past, especially in the LGBT community. The history is just as colorful – and fabulous – as its people. You don’t have to dust off an old book, however, to learn about America’s Finest City’s early days. Just look around and you will see several organizations and establishments that are living San Diego’s history today.

The Brass Rail

Then: The Brass Rail opened as a restaurant in 1958, on the corner of Sixth Avenue and B Street in downtown San Diego. Lou Arko, a straight Italian man, was the original owner, since LGBT business owners were not issued licenses to run bars and clubs at the time.

It had a lively happy hour where the downtown businessmen and their secretaries met up, according to the Hillcrest History Guild. “The evening crowd changed and more men came in to socialize around the piano bar,” the Guild’s Web site reads, “Then at night, the clientele became mostly gay men since this was one of the only places in town where they felt comfortable.”

Now: The Brass Rail moved from its downtown location to Hillcrest in 1963, first on the north west corner of Robinson and Fifth Avenue, the current location of Washington Mutual Bank. A decade later, it moved across the street to its present location at 3796 Fifth Ave. It is San Diego’s longest-running gay bar.

Dignity San Diego

Then: Dignity USA, a Catholic organization providing a safe and supportive faith community for LGBT Catholics, began in San Diego in 1969.

“When I started Dignity in 1969 in the eyes of the world it was probably a very small thing. However, in the microcosm of my own life, it was a monumental gamble,” said Dr. Patrick X. Nidorf, founder of Dignity USA.

Nidorf later moved the organization to Los Angeles and San Diego’s own chapter started in 1972.

Now: Dignity San Diego celebrated its 40th anniversary with a special mass July 22, during San Diego’s Pride weekend.

Dignity San Diego continues to meet every Sunday, 6 p.m. at Universalist Unitarian Church in Hillcrest.

Metropolitan Community Church of San Diego

Then: San Diego’s Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) met for the first time in 1970, just two years after Rev. Troy Perry started the national organization in Huntington Park. Rev. “Papa” John Hose was San Diego’s first full-time pastor.

Now: MCC San Diego continues to meet each Sunday, 9 and 11 a.m. at their church home in Mission Bay.

The San Diego LGBT Community Center

Then: In 1971, San Diegan Jess Jessop laid the foundation for what was to become The Center by setting up an answering machine help line for anyone in the local LGBT community struggling with a more dangerous environment. A few years later, the Center for Social Services opened at 2250 B Street with a variety of programs designed to meet the unique concerns of the lesbian/gay community. It was the second of its kind in the nation.

From The Center’s Web site: “We are proud of the history of The Center’s service: From an answering machine in a borrowed closet that served as a lifeline for those frightened, lonely and looking for compassionate connection to today, the nation’s second oldest and third largest LGBT Community Center.”

Now: The Center, now located at 3909 Centre Street, celebrated its 39th anniversary just last weekend with its annual Gala.

“The incredible dedication of 800 volunteers, 20 board members and 40 staff who spend every day attempting to serve the full diversity of our community makes it possible for us to serve more than 46,000 clients each year.”

Imperial Court de San Diego

Then: A social and fundraising organization, the Royal Court de San Diego crowned its first monarchs, Empress Tawny Tann and Emperor Omar, in 1973 at the Royal Inn Convention Center (now the Holiday Inn at the Embarcadero). With more than 1,000 people in attendance, the first Imperial Coronation Ball was the first “homosexual event” ever held in a public hotel in San Diego.

Now: According to its Web site, the Court of San Diego has established itself as one of the most successful fundraising organizations in the country, raising hundreds of thousands of dollars for local charities. The Imperial Court has also played a major part in helping establish The LGBT Center, San Diego Pride, Stepping Stone, AIDS Walk and Mama’s Kitchen.

San Diego Pride parade, July 2012

San Diego LGBT Pride

Then: In 1974, about 200 gays and lesbians marched through downtown San Diego to publicly proclaim their sexuality. Many of the marchers wore paper bags on their heads to protect their identity.

The next year, San Diego organized its official Pride parade march. Minnesota state Sen. Alan Spear, one of the first openly gay elected officials, and national lesbian activist Barbara Gittings rode in the parade and spoke at the rally.

Now: Held in July each year, San Diego’s Pride march is San Diego’s largest public event, drawing almost 200,000 spectators. The weekend event also includes a political rally and two-day festival in Balboa Park.

In addition to the weekend festivities, Pride also organizes community outreaches, voter registration drives, holiday toy and food drives, a block party, leadership development and youth development projects, and other projects throughout the year.

This year, Pride has also launched the Stonewall 40 history project to record and preserve the San Diego events as well as similar events across the country.

America’s Finest City Softball League

Then: Founded in 1981 by a group of informal softball players, the San Diego Gay Softball League started off as little more than people gathering at a field just off the banks of the San Diego River in Mission Valley to play exhibition games.

Now: The America’s Finest City Softball League (AFCSL), as it is currently called, is one of the largest sports organizations in San Diego. Its spring season boasts more than 30 teams, and more than 500 active participants. The league also hosts a smaller, more relaxed fall season.

“Our league has provided a safe space for the LGBT community to gather and socialize and play softball in a warm and welcoming environment,” Brian Burnett told the LGBT Weekly in 2011, at the start of its 30th season. “We’ve been that place where men and women have first come out and embraced who they are, where new residents meet their new San Diego families’ and become involved in the community.”

A few weeks ago, AFCSL hosted the 29th annual Autumn Classic with LGBT softball teams from around the country. The Autumn Classic is considered the third largest annual LGBT sporting event in the world.

An all-star cast of local dignitaries and celebrities come out for the 30th season opener of the America’s Finest City Softball League.

Front Runners

Then: Front Runners, a running and walking club for the LGBT community, was founded in 1981 by Carol Pierce and Jeff Wynne. They were joined by six others on the corner of Sixth Avenue and Laurel for their first run.

Now: Under the full name Front Runners and Walkers San Diego, the group boasts more than 200 members, ranging from athletes in their 20s to their 70s. The group meets at the same corner in Balboa Park three times a week for running and walking.

In 1974, the Teddy Roosevelt Republican Club of San Diego was founded. The club did not last long, and the Log Cabin Republican Club was formed in 1981. Today’s group has been recognized with the national Wil Drabenstot Memorial Award for Chapter Excellence.

In 1970, the Women’s Studies Dept. was founded at San Diego State University. It is considered to be the first department of its kind in U.S. academia.

In 1975, the San Diego Democratic Club was founded. The club changed its name last year to the San Diego Democrats for Equality. This past September, the political club sent 10 delegates to the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, N.C., the largest number of delegates the club has ever sent to the convention since its founding.

In 1976, Stepping Stone was founded, a residential recovery program for gay alcoholics in San Diego. Today, “Stepping Stone operates both a residential and a non-residential recovery program, each based upon evidence-based best practices of recovery, to meet the different needs of our clients.”

In May of 1979, the Greater San Diego Business Association (GSDBA) was started with just 21 members. In August of that same year, the GSDBA published its first business directory; it was 16 pages with 67 businesses. Today, the group boasts more than 800 businesses and professionals, making it the second largest LGBT chamber of commerce in the United States.

The local chapter of Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) met for the first time in December 1982. PFLAG now represents more than 75,000 households, and speaks for thousands of others.

In 1985, the San Diego Men’s Chorus gathered. Their first performance was the following year. That same year, in 1986, the San Diego Women’s Chorus was founded. Today, the two groups still perform.

In 1986, the first production at the Diversionary Theatre was performed. The mission of the Theatre is to produce plays with LGBT themes that portray characters in their complexity and diversity both historically and contemporarily. It’s current show, Pippin, opens its 2012-2013 season. It is the third oldest continuously producing LGBT theater in the United States.

In 1997, the first planning meeting of the Lesbian and Gay Archives took place. The Archives started with a collection of historic materials from Jess Jessop and Doug Moore. The organization has since changed its name to the Lambda Archives. It moved into a permanent location at 4545 Park Blvd. this year. It is one of the largest collections of LGBT history in the country.

Diversionary Theatre

Editor’s Note:

This list is not comprehensive, by any means. If you are interested in learning more about San Diego’s LGBT history, we encourage you to check out the Lambda Archives (lambdaarchives.us), the Hillcrest History Guild (hillcrest history.org) and the national LGBT History Month (lgbthistorymonth.com)

Dave Roberts and family

On paper, in photos and in person, Solana Beach Deputy Mayor Dave Roberts comes across as if he could have been sent straight from Central Casting to fill the part of ”perfect contemporary political candidate.” The candidate for 3^rd District county supervisor hopes to succeed Pam Slater, who is stepping down after more than 20 years on the San Diego County Board of Supervisors.

He’s good-looking, young (but has just enough gray hair to counterbalance that fresh-faced youthfulness). He’s a father and he’s married. True, Roberts is married to a man, but in an age when multiple Emmy-winner Modern Family is even Ann Romney’s favorite show on television; that’s probably a net-positive.

From the beginning, Roberts was laser-focused on achievement. He was an Eagle Scout at an early age, and he ultimately attained scouting’s prestigious Order of the Arrow designation.

At a very young age, Roberts held a high-profile civilian job with the Dept. of Defense.

“I worked on Capitol Hill in the House Appropriations Committee, defense subcommittee,” he said. “I was hired out of the Department of Defense, where I was deputy chief of budget operations support for Europe.”

Roberts was later appointed by the Bush and the Obama Administrations to national advisory leadership roles focused on maximizing the cost-effectiveness and delivery of Medicare, Medicaid and Children’s Health Insurance Programs. His campaign bio points out that he worked for the U.S. Air Force in the Pentagon and Europe; and helped to create the military’s current healthcare system.

Roberts career and life in general is a linear trajectory of upward mobility – steady, logically unfolding. That’s largely by design, but not completely a result of deliberate planning. Accenting the gathering of achievements, promotions and innumerable accolades along the way, have been profound experiences of unexpected, even unlikely, revolutions in his personal life and his perspective on living.

Dave Roberts

“When I came back from West Germany, it was three months before the Berlin Wall came down,” Roberts told San Diego LGBT Weekly. “Then I went back a few weeks after the wall came down to receive an award. The feeling was indescribable. There was the enthusiasm level; it was night and day going back. There was a feeling that real and serious change was happening. That was one of those experiences that changed the way you see things.”

Roberts is to this day sincerely moved by the experience of seeing an entire country set free. He hasn’t been back to Germany since 1989, but would like to visit there again and see how that enthusiasm has evolved during the past two decades.

Another revolution in the chronicle of Roberts’ journey through the highest levels of government happened in the early 1980s, when as a young aide to a liberal Republican (they used to exist) who was chair of the House Subcommittee on the Handicap, as it was then called. Roberts told Rep. Lowell Weicker that there were at least six steps that would not be traversable to his wheelchair-bound constituents.

“I was the first person to point that out to the congressman,” Roberts said. Out of that conversation, came important laws that can be viewed as the forbears of the landmark Americans with Disabilities Act.

“From that I learned that by being in the right place at the right time with the right perspective and something to add to the conversations, you can actually make meaningful change.”

One more revolution in Roberts life was the way he and his husband Wally Oliver came to be fathers to five adopted children.

The couple didn’t necessarily plan adopt so many kids. But in the course of serving as an alternate board member of the San Diego County Polinsky Children’s Center, which houses and cares for abused and neglected children, their family came together, grew and continues to grow. More than once, administrators at Polinsky have turned to Roberts asking him and his husband to be foster parents for children. More than once the agreed. Two of the couple’s children have the same mother. One was just a baby when they brought her home. Now, with four boys and one girl, ranging in ages from three to almost 17, there may be a sixth child on the way; another infant in fact.

“Fortunately, Wally is able to be a stay-at-home dad,” Roberts said.

As part of his parental duties, Roberts takes care of some of the kids’ activities, such as scouting. On that topic, Roberts and Oliver have decided to not to let their political issues, such as their disagreement with Boy Scouts of America’s anti-gay policy.

“We let them decide,” he said, adding that he was the person who introduced Scouts for Equality founder, Zach Wahls at his San Diego speaking engagement last week.

Dave Roberts is the candidate endorsed by outgoing supervisor, Slater. In addition to Slater, hhis endorsement list includes stellar names, such as Christine Kehoe, Donna Frye, Toni Atkins, a former surgeon general of the navy; an assistant secretary of defense and a long list (which can be found at LGBTweekly.com) of political heavy weights – both individuals and organizations. The organizations that want to see Dave Roberts add “supervisor” to his name, are environmental groups and several newspapers, including San Diego CityBeat.

“I’m very interested in the environment and animals,” Roberts said. “Those are two areas where Pam and I are very much alike.”

Regarding the environment, Roberts has an idea to bring more solar electricity to San Diego County.

“There’s a program in Riverside County that I’d like to bring here. It’s called Publicly Acquired Commercial Energy or PACE. Homeowners can, if they have 10 percent equity in their home, pay for the installation of solar panels for their roofs through their taxes over twenty years, without paying anything up front.”

Roberts’ proposals, policy positions and his political bent has been characterized as socially progressive, fiscally conservative – though the candidate might prefer “fiscally responsible.” In terms of governance, Roberts is a hand-on wonky type, bordering on technocratic. However to think of Roberts as an official fixed solely on the nuts and bolts of bureaucracy or process would be to ignore his penchant for keeping his eyes on the goal and sharing a vision with his constituents and partners in whatever endeavor is at hand.

Roberts recently promised to work to put limits on county pensions. At the same time, he also committed to find ways to invest more county resources in the arts and culture

“It’s important to remember why I want to run in the first place; that I want to do this to improve quality of life in San Diego County.”

Roberts professes aversion to tax increases and waste. A sizable portion of his career has been about eliminating wasteful spending and improving efficiency and efficacy of large-scale health care regimes. Reporters don’t seem to quibble much about his bona fides in that area. Even his challenger, who was described by the U-T San Diego as “the hard-driving Republican” in the race for District 3 supervisor, has failed to gain much traction by framing Roberts as a wasteful spender – though he tried during the opponents’ most recent debate by criticizing outgoing Supervisor Slater’s support for funding programs at the The Old Globe at the same time some neighborhood after school programs were cut.

However on the topic of taxes and fees, in a recent debate with opponent Steve Danon, chief of staff to Republican congressman, Brian Bilbray, Roberts’ adversary landed a respectable punch by calling him out for what came across as a very long series of parking citation increases and other tax and fee additions Roberts voted for as an elected official at the City of Solana Beach.

Roberts says he’s a job creator. He sees medical tourism, biotech and life sciences, the nonprofit sector and the vast array of institutions of higher education and locally headquartered research institutes as vital components in his plan for creating a reinvigorated jobs market in San Diego County.

Roberts is vice president of a non-profit health care information technology company in addition to serving as deputy mayor of Solana Beach and as a board member and special advisor for numerous other government and non-governmental organizations.

“If I am not elected, I will go on at HIMSS as vice president working in government relations and spend more time with my family,” he said.

A recent poll commissioned by the Roberts campaign shows him ahead of Danon. That’s a change from the most recent independent poll LGBT Weekly could find, which had Danon slightly ahead of Roberts.

Dave Roberts’ Endorsements (from DaveRobertsforsupervisor.com):

Additional elected and/or appointed officials and Individuals:

Vice Admiral Harold Koenig, MD, U.S. Navy Surgeon General (retired), former Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense (Health Affairs) and Chairman of the Board for Veterans Village of San Diego

Rear Admiral (retired) Connie Mariano, MD, White House Physician to three American Presidents

Retired Assistant Secretary of Defense (Health Affairs) Rear Admiral Edward D. Martin, MD

State Senator Christine Kehoe

State Assembly Majority Whip Toni Atkins

Former State Senator and Assemblymember Dede Alpert

Former State Senator Lucy Killea

State Assemblymember and Chair of the Assembly Committee Veterans AffairsMary Salas (former)

San Diego County District 3 Supervisor Pam Slater-Price

Former San Diego City Councilmember, San Diego County Supervisor, and MTDB member Leon Williams

Mayor Bill Arballo, City of Del Mar (former)

Mayor Crystal Crawford, City of Del Mar (former)

Mayor Dave Druker, City of Del Mar (former)

Mayor Tom Golich, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Jerry Harmon, City of Escondido (former)

Mayor Richard D. Hendlin, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Jan McMillan, City of Del Mar (former)

Mayor Celine Olson, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Tere Renteria, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Margaret Schlesinger, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Doug Sheres, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Lou Terrell, City of Del Mar (former)

Mayor Paul S. Tompkins, City of Solana Beach (former)

Mayor Jim Wood, City of Oceanside

Mayor Pro Tem Ann Kulchin, City of Carlsbad

Deputy Mayor Terry Sinnott, City of Del Mar

San Diego City Councilmember Donna Frye (former)

Councilmember Lee Haydu, City of Del Mar

Councilwoman Teresa Arballo Barth, City of Encinitas

San Diego County Transportation Services Agency Chairman and Councilman Bob Campbell, City of Vista (former)

Councilman Tom Campbell, City of Solana Beach

Councilman Ken Cooley, City of Rancho Cordova

Councilman George Gastil, City of Lemon Grove

Councilwoman Lesa Heebner, City of Solana Beach

Councilman Charles “Chuck” Lowery, City of Oceanside (former)

North County Transit District (NCTD) Chairman and Councilman Chris Orlando, City of San Marcos

San Diego County Transportation Services Agency Chairman and Councilman Phil Monroe, City of Coronado (former)

Councilman Mike Nichols, City of Solana Beach

San Diego County Transportation Services Agency Board Chair and Councilwoman Norine Sigafoose, City of Carlsbad (former)

Ian Thompson, husband of former City of Encinitas Mayor Maggie Houlihan

Trustee Kevin Beiser, San Diego Unified School District Board of Trustees

Trustee Nancy C. Chadwick, Palomar Community College District Governing Board; Member, Board of Directors California State Community Colleges Trustees

President Joyce Dalessandro, San Dieguito Union High School District Board of Trustees

Trustee Amy Herman, San Dieguito Union High School District Board of Trustees

Board Member Richard H. Leib, Esq., Solana Beach School District

Trustee Deanne Rich, San Dieguito Union High School District Board of Trustees (former)

Trustee Carol Skiljan, Encinitas Union School Board

Councilwoman Mary Jane Boyd, City of Solana Beach Town Council (former)

Chairman Steven J. Goetsch, City of Solana Beach Public Safety Commission

Chairman Allen Moffson, DMD, City of Solana Beach Public Arts Advisory Commission

Chairman Gerri Retman-Opper, City of Solana Beach Parks and Recreation Commission

Chairman Ed Siegel, MD, City of Solana Beach Parks and Recreation Commission and Public Arts Advisory Commission

Commissioner Bruce Berend, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission (former)

Commissioner David Bittar, MD, City of Solana Beach Public Safety Commission (former)

Commissioner Roger Boyd, City of Solana Beach Public Safety Commission (former)

Commissioner Gary Coad, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission (former)

Commissioner Pat Coad, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission

Commissioner Irene DeWatteville, City of Solana Beach Public Arts Commission (former)

Commissioner Vickie Driver, City of Solana Beach Public Safety Commission

Commissioner Jewel Edson, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission

Commissioner Tara Gordon, City of Solana Beach Public Arts Commission

Commissioner Dr. John C. (Jack) Hegenauer, City of Solana Beach View Assessment

Commissioner Sharon Klein, City of Solana Beach Public Arts Commission

Commissioner Susan McEachern, City of Solana Beach Parks & Recreation Commission

Commissioner Lynne Truong, City of Solana Beach Parks & Recreation Commission

Commissioner Michael Whitton, City of Solana Beach Budget & Finance Commission

Commissioner Georgia Wood, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission

Commissioner David Zito, City of Solana Beach View Assessment Commission

President Carol Childs, Solana Beach Civic & Historical Association

President Ann Welton, Friends of the Solana Beach Library

President Carolyn Cohen, Solana Beach Chamber of Commerce

Vice President Jason Smith, Solana Beach Chamber of Commerce

President Maggie Brown, Friends of the San Dieguito River Valley

Chair Dennis Ridz, Torrey Pines Community Planning Board

Chair Jan Fuchs, Carmel Valley Community Planning Board (former)

Chair Bruce Bekkar, MD, Sustainability Advisory Board, City of Del Mar

Director David Kulchin, Leucadia Wastewater District Board of Directors

Executive Director Dan Silver, Environmental Habitat League (EHL)

Louise Keeling, surviving spouse of Charles David Keeling, the world renowned scientist that originated the “Keeling Curve” and a former scientist at Scripps Institute of Oceanography.

Dave Kreitzer, San Diego County Planning Commissioner (former)

Kathy Prout, surviving spouse of Rear Admiral James G. Prout III, commander of the Carl Vinson aircraft carrier battle group

Trustee George McNeil, MiraCosta College Board

Trustee Jacqueline (Jackie) Simon, MiraCosta College Board

Trustee Gloria Carranza, Miracosta Community College Board

Former San Diego County Cable TV Commissioner Elliot Becker

Eileen Haag, President of the San Diego Women’s Foundation

Chair Sara Wan, California Coastal Commission (former)

Judy Ki, California Commissioner on Asian and Pacific Islander American Affairs

Betty Yee, member of the State Board of Equalization

Chuck Abdelnour, J.D., San Diego City Clerk – Emeritus

*Titles are listed for descriptive purposes only and do not imply organizational endorsement.

Organizations & Media

Organizations:

Friends of the San Dieguito River Valley

League of Conservation Voters San Diego

Sierra Club, San Diego Chapter

U.S. Green Chamber of Commerce

Media:

Coast News

San Diego CityBeat

Tierra Times

La Prensa San Diego

Endorsements by individuals the listed as community and business leaders by the Roberts campaign:

• Bruce M. Abrams
• Donald Billings
• Mary Jane Boyd
• Roger Boyd
• Susan A. Bruun
• Gil Cabrera
• Carol I. Childs
• Max Disposti
• Suzie Ditmars
• Laura J. Galinson
• Thomas S. Golich
• Eileen Haag
• David R. Hodges
• Joel O. Holliday
• Peter W. House, M.D.
• Gene Iredale
• Irwin Jacobs
• Joan Jacobs
• Mel Katz
• Jeffrey Krinsk
• Marcy Krinsk
• James H. Lauer, Jr.
• Ira Lechner
• Nicholas Leibham
• Sean MacLeod
• Gary Martin
• George Mitrovich
• Allen M. Moffson
• Pamela Morgan
• Amy Moser
• Frederick T. Muto
• Lynn Muto
• Bob Nelson
• Jeff Ressler
• H. Randall Stoke
• Alan Tarkington
• Ian Thompson
• Carol Waldman
• Michael J. Whitton
• David J. Winkler

AIDS Walk 2011

This year the AIDS Walk launched a Facebook site for participants to answer the question, “Who are you walking for?” Some weeks ago this writer attended a team leader informational meeting. At the end of the session the leader asked the attendees to answer the question on video. That gave me pause to think back 27 years ago as to what my motivation was as founder of the Walk to undertake such a huge task for a cause whose name, AIDS, struck fear and bigotry in the hearts of most of the public. The question brought back memories of 1985; people were dying daily from the dreaded “gay plague” and fear was palpable in the streets of Hillcrest and in the halls of USCD Hospital’s Owen Clinic. In 1985, the consequences for a roommate of being seen in the waiting room at Owen Clinic could often have been to come home to find their clothes and personal items in the street and locks on the doors of their apartment.

The LGBT community needed a vehicle from which to raise public awareness, dispel the fear and myths about the disease and engage the general public in gaining support for education, compassion, medical services and money for people infected with and affected by the HIV virus. The AIDS Walks in New York City, Los Angeles and other large cities had accomplished those goals and the same thing was needed in San Diego. The Walk was named “San Diego Walks for Life” because at the time, in 1985, no one would write a check or put their name on a poster that said “AIDS”. Walking for Life, while maybe not so politically correct to some, gave participants, and sponsors in 1985 a way to sponsor an “AIDS” Walk. The answer to the question, “Who are you walking for?” in 1985 was the 265 personal friends lost and for the hope and ability to raise hope for those who were currently living with the virus and the stigma that went with the virus. While there was a feeling of victory in seeing the first walk actually take place, and there were balloons and some celebratory stage decorations, the 1,500 participants who marched from the County Administration Building and around Harbor Island and back were much more like silent protestors at a vigil, or participants in a funeral march. Participants and founder were walking for the memory of those lost, and hope and celebration for the living.

This year is the 27th anniversary of AIDS Walk San Diego and there certainly is cause for celebration about being alive and healthy while HIV+. Times have changed and progress has been made, but the question “Who are you walking for?” should prompt us to think about the most current CDC statistics and who are those human beings that are represented by new infection statistics? We should remember and acknowledge that HIV is no longer a “gay disease” and it is no respecter of persons or color. Over the past 27 years, deaths and rates of infections have substantially decreased and many HIV+ individuals are living healthy and manageable lives. However, there is great danger in holding an attitude of indifference to the serious nature of becoming HIV positive. HIV is still a killer virus, and to think otherwise is foolish. There is no cure.

While gay white men are still the largest portion of those new cases, there is a disproportionate amount of HIV in the African American and Latino communities and a disproportionate number of women of color becoming high on the statistical chart at an alarming rate. Women get sicker faster and die sooner, as did gay men in the ‘80s and for very similar reasons. Cultural stigmas, bigotry, poverty and indifference to “those who brought it on themselves” are all contributing factors.

In 2009, black men accounted for 70 percent of the estimated new HIV infections among all blacks. In 2009, the rate of new HIV infections among black women was 15 times that of white women, and more than three times the rate among Hispanic/Latina women. Women accounted for more than 25 percent of the AIDS diagnoses and represent nearly 20 percent of cumulative AIDS diagnoses in the United States to date. The most common method of transmission is heterosexual contact. The HIV virus is everyone’s virus and the statistics should give us all pause to think about “Who are you walking for?” in 2012.

On the AIDS Walk San Diego Web site this year is a compelling story of Maria. As a way to share the joy Maria brought to her friends, several of them formed a team for this year’s walk called the Butterfly Bandits. They are walking as a means to honor and celebrate her life and share the grief of her loss. They related on the Web site article that they “were surprised to find out how quickly Maria’s health declined and we were shocked when we found out that we had lost her.” Her sister had shared that she was having trouble with her medications and she just wasn’t finding the help that she needed from her doctors. There was a time when she lost her health insurance because she lost her job and lost access to her medication, which contributed to the progression of her illness. When Maria first learned that she was HIV+ she shared with a few friends. Not long after her diagnosis she moved back to Arizona to be closer to her family. Maria passed away Sept. 20, 2011 in Goodyear, Ariz. She was 33 years old.

We may have cause to celebrate “being alive and HIV+” in the LGBT community but there is still a war being waged by the virus on those who do not have the financial resources to fight it, and whose cultural stigmas can quickly make a sick person a sick homeless person even in 2012. AIDS Walk San Diego 2012 should be a day of reflection to honor those passed, a day of hope for the HIV community living healthy lives. AIDS Walk San Diego 2012 is a day to celebrate the lives of the living, but it is not a day to celebrate victory over HIV until they find a cure. Who are you walking for?

For more than a decade, the U.S. Dept. of Defense’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) policy claimed the careers, livelihoods and in some cases, the lives of American servicemembers whose only crime was volunteering to serve our nation and being gay, bi or lesbian at the same time.

The contention among repeal advocates was that there would be little if any negative impact if LGBT servicemembers were allowed to serve openly.

The impression that there has been a general lack of “drama” regarding LGBs serving openly is backed up by post-repeal statements from top brass, such as Marine Corps commandant, James F. Amos. Gen. Amos, who had vigorously opposed repeal, recently told a reporter, “It hasn’t been a problem.”

Visit LGBTweekly.com to read a comprehensive study compiled by military experts at UCLA’s Palm Center about the effect of the repeal on the various branches of military.

We mark this first anniversary of the repeal by talking to some local servicemembers and veterans.

Lisa Kove, executive director, DOD FED GLOBE

How did Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell affect you before it was repealed?

I am stating my opine based on being the executive director of DOD FED GLOBE and this is not intended to reflect the views of my employer, the Dept. of Defense (DoD).

DADT taught people that it is acceptable and even encouraged to fear and hate all LGBT people.

I came out in the DoD in the northeast in 1997 on a joint design team, and was the R&D lead. My work and person were both respected by the team and others.

However, when I transferred to San Diego, Calif. in 1998, I was not allowed to check in and was kicked off base, just because I am openly gay.

Almost half a year later I was allowed to check in. Two years later, the two top people in the organization were given the choice between criminal prosecution or resignation for what was done to me. They chose resignation. Normally the LGBT person is fired – or worse.

Gustavo Aldino-Alvarado

How has a year of freedom to serve openly in the U.S. military changed your life?

This is a monumental change, but progress is moving at glacial pace. We have been pushing for diversity inclusion within the DoD and its aligned corporations. We succeeded in pushing the very first declaration by the Secretary of Defense that June is LGBT Pride month in the Department of Defense. A Pentagon Pride event was held this year for the first time in history, making it clear to those who would like to see the repeal of DADT repealed, that that idea is dead on arrival. One of the biggest loopholes that still remains is that transgender service members can still be fired just for being transgender.

Our military families need to get the same housing privileges as opposite-gender married couples are given. They are not receiving this benefit.Cpl. Gustavo Aldino-Alvarado, United States Army

How did Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell affect you before it was repealed?

Despite that I was not completely comfortable with whom I was at that point in life, I felt like I not only had to be judged by society and my family, but I too was going to be criticized, ridiculed and perhaps even put out by the organization I’d vowed to serve with pride and honor. To defend freedom. This freedom couldn’t just be earned and valued by one group.We took the oath and bleed and make sacrifices just like our heterosexual brothers and sisters in arms do; so why wasn’t the sacrifice of those of my sexual orientation not allowed to be honored and respected? It was a struggle for equality and maybe more just freedom and reapect for those LGBTs before us, the ones that were actively serving, and those that would come after us.

How has a year of freedom to serve openly in the U.S. military changed your life?

Patrick Hernandez

It has definitely lifted pressure off of many of the SM’s currently serving. There is no fear that because rumors start that one might be gay, or that maybe friends, colleagues might see you at a gay bar or with one’s significant other; one would be chaptered out.

CTT3 Patrick Hernandez, E-4, United States Navy

How did Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell affect you before it was repealed?

Before the repeal, I hid relationships and lied to coworkers because I was afraid of being kicked out or having them think badly of me. There were still friends that knew, but hiding it from people you see everyday was stressful and hard to handle.

(Thanks for (publishing this) by the way; it’s a refresher as to how binding things used to be and how much of a relief we feel now that it’s gone.)

How has a year of freedom to serve openly in the U.S. military changed your life?

This past year has been an eye opener as to the things I can do now that I would have never thought were possible before; such as marching in the Pride parade or introducing my boyfriend to coworkers as “my boyfriend” instead of the usual lie of my roommate or cousin.

Cpl. William Rodriguez-Kennedy, United States Marine Corps, retired

How did Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell affect you before it was repealed?

DADT affected me in that it prevented me from fulfilling my calling of service. It was a tough blow. For me, a young 20 year old to have the one thing he always wanted to be, a U.S. Marine, taken away from me. I struggled with that for a long time before becoming an activist and fighting.

How has a year of freedom to serve openly in the U.S. military changed your life?

Open service hasn’t affected me as I an not currently serving but the repeal was vindicating and it opened up the possibility that I may one day soon be able to return to service.

Exploding Tattoos. It’s not a new thrash metal band. Neither is it something that can happen during a CAT scan if your skin is covered in body art. Exploding Tattoos is an innovative, creative collaboration between Anna Stump and Ted Meyer. Stump is an arts educator in San Diego, while Meyer works in the design field in Los Angeles. The duo shares a love for “painting the body in color, sensuality, and in movement.” This shared passion has developed into an ongoing adventure that has them traveling the world.

“(Exploding Tattoos) celebrate a vibrant, evolving culture in Southern California,” Stump told San Diego LGBT Weekly.

A recent Thursday evening exhibition of work presented by Exploding Tattoos brought curious art lovers of all ages and all walks of life to the Oceanside Museum of Art (OMA). The human canvasses on display, all examples of the work of Stump and Meyer, filled the spaces with colors, shades, themes and designs of meticulous artistry and as well as simple shapes. Judging by both the large turnout and reactions from the crowds, Exploding Tattoos’ show in Oceanside was a hit. Part of the appeal of the show was its up-close-and-personal look at the ingenious explosions of creativity in action as Meyer and Stump lived up to the show’s title, Artists @ Work, by inking original designs during the show.

A little about the museum: If the very word “museum” conjures images of a sterile environment where you can look but not touch, then you haven’t been to Oceanside Museum of Art. You won’t find overeducated snobby tour guides delivering history lessons at a pace that would make Ben Stein say “spit it out already.” Come to this art space with interaction in mind. Also, come with an open mind to maximize the experience.

Mitzi Summers, manager of Programs and Events at OMA is a stylish redhead with her own canvass of tattoos exploding. Most notably, the explosion of inked body art emanates outward from the back of her shirt. Summers is further evidence that OMA is not a typical museum. The whole experience, from the space to the exhibits to staff members such as Mitzi Summers, may be best described as approachable or, pardon the cliché, accessible.

Summers, kicked off the night by introducing Stump and Meyers, who gave an unscripted discussion followed by an audience Q&A.

“I’ve never seen anyone paint a piece (on canvass) to use in combination with someone’s tattoos (on-skin),” said one attendee as she shot photos with her iPhone for posting on Facebook.

Stump and Meyer based an original sketch on a model named Jill Chall, who was chosen that evening. It was Chall’s tattoo work that attracted their attention. It turns out that a single theme tattoo art piece works best for their canvass-meets-skin creations.

Complementing the open air layout of the museum the nature of the exhibit had an ambience that I want to describe as “urban-twist.” Street art and lowrider cars in the neighboring exhibition contributed to an immersion in art that summer Thursday evening in North County.

“We see the California arts scene emerging as an equal to the New York scene,” said Summers. “Especially in L.A., trends include street art and lowbrow art, the merging of entertainment and high art, and the influence of the Pacific Rim.”

Meyer described Exploding Tattoos team-based technique for shows such as the OMA exhibit as he brushed paint onto the wall-hung piece of canvass.

“Anna does the big and loose work, rather than the small and tight,” he explained.

Stroke after stroke, what once stood tall as a vague less-than-appealing sketch began to transform into a beautiful colorful piece one would think was a continuation of the colorful tattoos on Chall’s body. Throughout the process, Chall stood in front of the unfinished project, providing the living impetus for the wall art. In the interest of full disclosure, Meyer snapped photos to use as a reference when painting, but only to carefully ensure the finished piece would indeed be a unique extension of the existing artwork on Chall’s body.

Within a few hours (and after countless reference photos as well as teamwork between Stump and Meyer) Chall stood proudly in front of the piece to complete the final image, creating what looked to the naked eye to be, you guessed it, an exploding tattoo.

For more information about upcoming exhibits at the Oceanside Museum of Art, visit oma-online.org. For additional exhibits and photos or works created by Exploding Tattoos as well as information about Anna Stump and Ted Meyer, visit facebook.com/explodingtattoo

Victor (L) and Arturo Horta

Just an hour and a half drive south of San Diego there is a quiet revolution taking place in Mexico. Casa Encinares waits quietly for the revolution to move forward. The revolution is live; the revolution is the Mexican wine country exploding in the area. The location itself is around 25 minutes east of Ensenada and sports 58 wineries! With acreage larger than the Napa Valley, the wine community is paying close attention to this locale. A recent push from the Mexican Tourism Board has provided money and energy for expansion down “la Ruta del Vino.” With ninety percent of Mexican wines produced in this area, it is no wonder our ears are perked.

Literally meaning “house among the oaks,” Casa Encinares is the perfect example of a natural rustic rest and relaxation retreat. Located in the heart of Mexican wine country and featuring five single, three double casita-style rooms and two three-room villas on the hilltop for larger parties, it is a place to relax and unplug from the rest of the world. Initially the casitas were small homes for the many members of the extended family. The bed and breakfast got its start about 30 years ago as a country home owned by the family of brothers Arturo and Victor Horta. A nice size pool, outdoor dining patios and a cute little tree house are a few of the amenities. The peaceful and organic vibe that is offered here is something a traveler will not find easily without leaving the hustle and bustle of Southern California altogether. With views of the surrounding hilly/mountainous terrain with marine-layer clouds rolling down them, the vineyard area of the property is supported by the works of Victor Horta himself. All electricity is gathered via solar, wind, or other alternative means such as a generator, which is seldom used. One factoid I particularly enjoyed was learning that the water pumping device transports water from a well deep underground to the tops of the hills for use in the vineyard and hilltop casitas. The water itself is mineral rich and often appears milky in color due to the depth of the underground source.

The drive down U.S. Highway 1 doesn’t have to end at the border between the U.S. and Mexico anymore. Over the past several years, Mexico has invested millions into Highway 1 Baja. A beautiful scenic highway that winds down the coast, after passing through Tijuana. There are only two tolls that must be paid along the way. Pesos and dollars are both accepted. And if driving a rental or personal car, Mexican insurance is usually needed. From San Diego, one would exit Highway 1 via La Mision and travel eastward through the Mexican hills toward Valle de Guadalupe. There are a few border patrol stops patrolled by the Mexican government along the way. Expanded driving details can be provided by contacting Casa Encinares.

When I traveled to Casa Encinares, I opted for the car service. Steve Artura, partner of Arturo, and originally an Italian New Yorker, picked me up. Brett Bensmiller from New York also made the trip down the coast with us. Travel is provided from San Diego when staying at the B&B. Single reservations or groups can be accommodated. Two notable sites along the way, other than the ocean and mountain vistas, are Sony Baja Studios and a gigantic kitsch Jesus with arms wide open. Either way, there’s a little history. The studios have provided the location for movies such as Titanic due to the large amounts of water and space needed for the ship and special effects. And Jesus, well, he’s pretty cool and just watches over all of mostly Catholic Baja. The final feather in the hat: artesian vineyards along the way. These wild vines are often referred to as temporal. The unorganized and untrimmed vines are au natural and remind me of a hippie subculture when viewed next to the meticulous neighboring vines.

While serving wine and breakfast, Steve and Arturo took time to explain the many amenities of la Ruta del Vino to us. The three main towns of the wine country were explained to us. San Antonio de las Minas, Valle de Guadalupe and El Porvenir are their names. All school-aged children must take mandatory wine-making classes if living in this region. We also learned that three of the largest vineyards and tasting rooms are La Cetto for mass wine production, Santos for the best tasting room and Vina de Garza for the most beautiful views. Each property has special “personalities” that are well-known throughout the area. One such person is Gilberto at La Cetto. Just by mentioning that you are staying at Casa Encinares, the tasting can double in amount and length. Arturo and Victor are so well-known in the area that you are likely to come back to the casa with more wine than you thought you purchased, and of course the guys welcome tastings back on the property and love hearing which wine is a personal favorite – so bring back your stories too! However, we decided to enjoy two of the wines from the Casa Encinares barrels.

Brett was able to explain his love for the wines the best. His personal favorite was MMG11 chardonnay. With a great aroma, lingering melon and a caramel finish; no wonder he was in heaven. Also, the wine was named after Arturo and Victor’s mother, using her initials, M.M.G. It is a 2011 wine and is best enjoyed soon as it’s not meant to age. The Vidart 2010 cabernet is a personal favorite of Steve’s. Literally meaning the “art of wine” it is aged for 18 months in French oak and ages well. The cabernet sauvignon is meant to sit for a few years before being poured. Personally, I am excited to come back to the property to see the wine cave that will be added in the next phase of development.

Overall, Casa Encinares was the perfect weekend retreat. The peacefulness and rustic beauty of the property allowed me to sleep 12 hours one night, completely uninterrupted, which I haven’t experienced in months and provided me a much-needed break. My recommendation as a frequent traveler: pack a book, a swimsuit and turn off the electronics. You will not want to miss one minute of the history lesson, food prepared by chef and proprietor Arturo, nor the hospitality of Victor and Steve. The mountain views, oak trees and sun passing through the Baja marine layer only add to the allure of this sweet little B&B. This place is a well-kept secret in Mexico, so I guess I’m kinda spilling the frijoles. It’s worth it, though. Enjoy.

Casa Encinares Bed & Breakfast

​Km 92 Highway Tecate – Ensenada

San Antonio de las Minas, Baja-Mexico

USA phone: 619-865-9464

Mexican Gay Retreat Weekend

Gay retreat weekend is Sept. 23-26. Leaving San Diego Friday evening the weekend festivities include a welcome dinner and cocktail toast. Saturday morning guests can enjoy fresh fruit, pan dulce, French press coffee and juices while a full brunch is served after a leisurely wake up. Next, guests travel to local vineyards for 16 tastings before heading back to Casa Encinares for prime rib or New York steak, hand-butchered at the Casa. Also on the menu, chorizo Español, chistorra, beans and guacamole, a variety of salsas, house made flour tortillas and tinto de verano (summer red wine), a wine-based cold drink similar to sangria. To cap off the weekend, there is a champagne send-off Sunday morning before traveling back to San Diego.

A traditional Latino upbringing can be a challenge for someone struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity. Tradition, culture and religion play a huge role in the shaping of a young Latino or Latina’s life. My family was no different. I was born in New York City to Puerto Rican parents, and raised in Orlando, Fla. Florida is not known for being a bastion of tolerance to the LGBT community and was not exactly a safe place to come out. To be honest I was lucky, it turned out my mother was an unconditionally supportive person in my life but there was no way to be sure of that before she found out. I hid my orientation like the rest and struggled with it throughout my high school years.

The military played a huge role in my childhood. My parents had separated when I was very young and my mother was concerned that I lacked the structure that a male parent may have provided. That isn’t to say my mother wasn’t strong or structured, she had a long career in law enforcement and was a strong and independent Latina woman. Nevertheless, she enrolled me in my school’s Air Force Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps. I think this was a very subtle attempt to correct my aversion to sports and more masculine activities and I think even then I had displayed signs that I was different.

I hated JROTC, but I excelled in it and soon rose to the highest rank of command. I was the deputy wing commander of more than 360 cadets and commanded the school’s award winning rifle team. It had seemed that my mother’s experiment had worked because I gravitated toward the idea of entering the military. As I struggled with my orientation I kept it to myself, I knew early on that I would have to hide that part of my life in order to serve, and that was my calling.

Religion solidified my silence; my father’s side of the family were devout Catholics, and while my mother wasn’t as devout as her parents she enrolled me in a private Christian school during middle school. I was one of many Latino students, and it was there that I must have formulated the idea that I could hide and defeat my sexual orientation. I had figured in my all-knowing teenager years that if priests could be celibate in their service to God, then surely I could do the same in my service to my country. I embraced my culture, and religion and I stood silent throughout most of my high school years.

In 2004 the struggles of the LGBT community, although then I likely just called it the gay community, were presented to me via the media. It was then that the newly-elected mayor of a city, that to me might as well have been a distant land, Gavin Newsom, defied a nation and state and allowed people of the same sex to be married in San Francisco. This led to an attorney in Broward County suing for the right of 170 gay and lesbian couples who sought to be married. These milestones opened a chapter in my life that I had thought to close. I began to seek others like me.

My mother took notice, and confronted me. One day while returning from school, my mom produced a bag of notes between me and a boy that I had met and begun a relationship with. Angry that she would invade my privacy I defiantly told her that I was “bi” and stormed out. Even then I couldn’t come out all the way. I figured being bi would be a little less of a shock, but it was never true.

My mother shocked me and tearfully embraced me upon my return.

“I love you, and I am not mad that you are this way.” She said. “I am just hurt that you did not tell me you were struggling with this sooner.”

With that I was relieved. I joined the military and I went on with my life. What happened later is another story but the important thing was that in my Latino family, I was accepted, and I didn’t have the experience that many had. I was lucky.

For Lucía, a 21-year-old San Diego State University student who identifies as “bi,” the journey to openness about her sexual orientation had obstacles, but has seen improvement. Lucia had grown up in a small town, and had a very traditional Catholic upbringing.

She had a very similar experience to mine. Her mother had found a letter between her and her ex-girlfriend which had various details about their relationship. She did not come out willingly.

“When they found out,” she said. “My parents being traditional Mexican Catholics, didn’t take the news well and my mom sent me to a therapist to ‘help me’ with my sexuality.”

The therapy proved oppressive. On the advice of the therapist, the thirteen year old Lucía was taken to the mall to be outfitted with “girl” clothes and her parents were advised to keep a close watch over her, monitoring all aspects of her life. Religion played a large role in the therapist’s approach, but proved unsuccessful.

“My mother would confront me every other month or so and ask me if my sexuality had changed.” Lucia told San Diego LGBT Weekly. “Eventually I stopped going because my parents thought her suggestions were too extreme.”

For five years her parents strongly disapproved of her lifestyle and sexual orientation. That disapproval had lasting effects on Lucía’s life and self esteem.

“It was rough,” she said. “And to this day I still sometimes feel that there is something wrong with me because my sexuality isn’t straight.”

Lucía now lives with her girlfriend of one year and has seen some improvement in her parents’ treatment of her and her sexuality.

“They are supportive to a limit,” she said. “But in the end I know they still hope that I will end up with a man.” v

For one transgender individual the story was much more painful. Preferring to be called “Lindsey” for fear of retaliation from her family, I found out her path was wrought with pain and abandonment.

Lindsey, who grew up in New York City, was disowned by her family. She was 16 and cast out into the streets of New York.

“They basically said you are dead to us,” she said. “They quoted the Bible and called me an abomination. I mean this was my own father.”

Lindsey had to learn early on how to fend for herself. She had tried to contact different family members but she was turned away every time. Her predicament worsened and she turned to prostitution to get by or what some experts call “survival sex.”

“I can’t begin to explain how humiliating it was for me.” A tearful Lindsey told LGBT Weekly.

Eventually she was taken in by a gay cousin who himself struggled with coming out in the same traditional family.

“Quique saved me,” she said. “We don’t have much but at least I have a home and someone who cares.”

Each of these stories ended on a somewhat positive note, but many go untold, some even tragic. To be Latino and LGBT mean culture and religion often play huge roles in your life. Sometimes they are obstacles, even the means to oppress and hurt. It was important for Lindsey to express her hope.

“I just hope that people don’t get scared by my story too much,” she said. “I hope that people will notice that at least for me things got better, and I am hopeful. Yo soy boriqua. That is in my blood and no one is going to take that from me. So if anyone learns anything I hope they learn this: don’t give up.”

In Lindsey’s interview she talked about “mi orgullo.” Orgullo means pride and that too is a shared theme. In spite of the obstacles, each of us still have our pride, pride in our heritage, and pride in ourselves. v

2011/2012 has seen much movement in terms of equal rights for the LGBT community. We have a president who openly supports marriage equality, we have had Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell repealed and we have had any number of other small victories in the fight for equality, but … and this is a very big but … hatred and bigotry still exist on a foundational level. We’re talking about a hatred that is so intense, it does not care for love, feelings, personality, emotion or even humanity. It is a hatred that is so intense all it wants to do is erase with no conscience or feeling whatsoever.

San Diego LGBT Weekly was privileged to conduct an interview with Shane Bitney Crone, who experienced a tragic end of a fairytale life, and who will be a top honoree at Sunday’s Nicky Awards for his storytelling efforts to affect change in America.

Shane and Tom had been together six years. Shane was from Montana and Tom was from Indiana. They had a home together and a business and had traveled the world. They loved each other. They wanted to get married as soon as it was legal to do so in California. The next logical step, in their minds, was to share this wonderful news with their families. So, five years ago, Shane and Tom went home and came out to their respective families. Shane’s family has happy. Happy that Shane had found the love of his life and wanted to settle down. Tom’s family was outraged. His father threatened him and physically attacked him. His mother blamed Shane for making him gay and told Tom that he should have told them earlier because then they could have gotten him medical help. Tom left Indiana and came back to the home he shared with Shane in California. May 7, 2011 Tom fell from a rooftop and died. Following his death Tom’s family closed ranks and under threat did not allow Shane to play any part in his obituary or funeral. Because they were not married, Shane had no rights, officially did not exist as far as Tom was concerned and was to all intents and purposes rendered insignificant.

In Shane’s own words, “No one will listen if I don’t talk.”

This is Shane’s story.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: Shane, How did you meet Tom?

Shane Bitney Crone: Tom and I were introduced by a mutual friend not long after I moved to Los Angeles. Without saying she was matchmaking, she invited Tom and me to go bowling. Within minutes of meeting him, I knew that Tom was someone that I could see myself with. Tom seemed to be good at everything he did, annoyingly good. He was a much better bowler than I was and he was extremely confident, almost cocky. He had a level of energy that just seemed to pull people toward him.

What made you decide to come out to your families?

Tom and I felt strongly that there was no need to come out to our families until we found someone that we planned on spending the rest of our lives with. Needless to say, it wasn’t too long after meeting him that I came out to my family. Fortunately, they were very supportive. My family absolutely loved Tom. I used to joke that they loved him more than they love me.

Did you expect the reactions you got?

I assumed my family had an inclination that I was gay because I was so different from other boys growing up. After I came out to my family, I encouraged Tom to do the same thing. Tom was visiting Indiana for the Christmas holidays and his parents were outraged. They blamed me for making Tom gay and told him that he should’ve told them sooner so they could’ve gotten him medical treatment. Tom didn’t think his parents were going to be outraged, but he did tell me that he knew they wouldn’t take it too well.

How did you guys decide to deal with the polarized reactions from your families?

Tom quickly returned to Los Angeles and told me he didn’t think he’d ever have a reason to return home again. I just tried to support him. Tom never allowed anyone or anything to bring him down and keep him down for very long. His ability to see the bright side, his courage to concentrate on the future was incredible.

I know this is a tough question, Shane, but in your own words describe the circumstances around Tom’s death and how you found out?

May 7, 2011 was just a normal Saturday for Tom and me. We decided to do separate things. He went over to our best friend’s apartment building to take photos. Our friend has an incredible view of downtown Los Angeles and we had done several photo shoots on her roof. Tom and I were texting each other and he told me they were going up on the roof to take pictures. I was always the overly paranoid and cautious one in our relationship, so I made sure to tell him he needed to be careful. He assured me he would be cautious and it wasn’t even fifteen minutes later that our friend contacted me with the news that he had fallen. I rushed to the emergency room, not knowing just how bad it was until I got there.

What made you relent to Tom’s mother’s requests?

Although Tom’s mother reacted badly to Tom when he came out, she eventually came to visit us in L.A. She never apologized, but we felt her visits were her way of accepting us. I don’t know what it’s like to lose a child and I want to respect the fact that she lost her son. Yes, Tom and I owned a home, started a business, and adopted a dog together, but we never took the necessary legal steps to protect ourselves from the unexpected. Even if I had tried to control the situation, I had no legal rights to do so. I was in a state of shock. I never imagined that I would lose Tom, but looking back I wish we had taken the proper legal steps that would’ve made it possible for me to honor Tom’s final wishes.

What were the circumstances surrounding Tom’s funeral?

I had every intention of attending Tom’s funeral service. My mother, best friend and I were on our way to Indiana. During a layover, I received a phone call from one of Tom’s relatives informing me that if I showed my face in their town I would be attacked. Fearing for our safety, we decided to stay away and I was never allowed to properly say goodbye. I had a celebration of life service for Tom in Los Angeles a month later. I made sure it was a service that was true to who Tom was. It turned out really well.

Why did you go back to Indiana after Tom’s funeral?

One of Tom’s best friends from high school invited me to her wedding. It was a great way to see all of his high school friends, as well as an opportunity to visit Tom’s final resting place. I think the fact that I wasn’t allowed to attend Tom’s burial, sometimes makes it hard for me to believe that he’s really gone and this is my new life, my new reality. Visiting his gravesite is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, but I just had to remind myself that it’s just Tom’s body. I will always have the memories we shared and no one can take those away from me.

What have you got to say to Tom’s parents and family?

The best way to honor Tom’s memory is to allow him to be in death the way he was never allowed to be in life – himself. And to the family members who have been loving and supportive of Tom’s and my relationship, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your kindness and sympathy have meant more than you will ever know.

What advice would you give to a young gay couple in a similar situation today?

I implore you to have the hard conversation about your own immortality – to face the hypothetical consequences of what could happen were either of you to be injured or possibly die. I am not an attorney and every state is different but see a lawyer, get a will and get your ducks in a row. In other words leave nothing to chance. Unfortunately, you cannot always rely on the goodwill of family members or friends who were previously well-intended. Make sure everything is documented.

What do you think will make a difference today?

Enough is enough. We’ve been talking about this for a long while. Our rights are guaranteed to us in the Constitution. The truth is it has always been our right to be who we are and love who we love. It’s time that everyone had equal rights.

After your YouTube video, you partnered with Linda Bloodworth Thomason to make a documentary entitled, Bridegroom, An American Love Story. What do you hope to accomplish with this?

Shane Bitney Crone and Tom Bridegroom

Our hope is that Bridegroom will become a seminal film in the quest for human rights. Our documentary is not just about marriage equality but something much larger than that – the right of all people to be who they are and love who they love. We plan on premiering this film in late fall. Hopefully it will change hearts and minds in a way that no law or lecture ever could.

Finally, how do you feel about being the 2012 recipient of the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award at the Nickys?

I am incredibly honored to receive an award named after Harvey Milk. For me, Harvey is a hero and a role model for all generations, gay or straight. I hope in my own life, as a gay man and as a human being, that I can demonstrate even a fraction of his character and courage.

Shane, thank you so much for talking to us. Our hearts go out to you. We hope that by publishing your story it will make a difference to the lives of many LGBT people out there. Shane, we are listening, we believe our readers are listening and we will do everything in our power to make sure everybody is listening. Thank you.

The handsome and very popular Emmy Award-winning Fox5 news anchor, Matt Johnson will be the master of ceremonies at this Sunday’s presentation of the 37th annual Nicky Awards, which will be held at the San Diego Marriott Mission Valley Hotel. Johnson has interviewed many dignitaries and celebrities, ranging from President Barack Obama to Brad Pitt.

The Nickys, since 1974

In the 1960s and ‘70s, major cities in California started establishing community awards shows. In 1974, longtime social justice activist (and now city commissioner) Nicole Murray Ramirez established The Nicky Awards to honor outstanding achievement in San Diego’s LGBT community.

The Nickys are one of the oldest awards of their kind in the country. The first Nicky Awards were held at what was then Ball Express disco nightclub on Pacific Coast Highway. It benefitted the Metropolitan Community Church – itself having only recently been established at that point and the Gay Center.

The Nicky Awards have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for countless charities. The organization and awards program are now produced by a board of governors and is sponsored by the Imperial Court de San Diego. The Nickys have been hailed, honored and attended by governors, mayors and members of Congress.

Ramirez, because of a schedule that could no longer accommodate all of the activities of city commissioner and human and LGBT rights activist, completely turned over the Nicky Awards to a group of volunteers and fellow activists he called a “new generation of producers who have indeed turned the popular event into an Oscars-meets-MTV awards show, complete with red carpet.”

Along with red carpet, the maturation of the Nickys through the years has also brought with it golden statues and cutting-edge entertainment. Indeed, KGBT 10 News called the Nicky Awards the Gay Academy Awards of San Diego, while the Los Angeles Times hailed them as “One of San Diego’s gay community’s most important nights.”

This year I promise another fun and exciting night with show-stopping entertainment. The entire LGBT community, family and friends are always invited to the Nicky Awards. It’s an honor to have been entrusted to work as a producer and head of the Nicky Awards board of governors, and as such, personally extend a warm welcome to all San Diego LGBT Weekly’s readers.

Key recipients announced

The board of governors recently announced the 2012 recipients of the Nickys’ highest honors. The annual Mayor George Moscone Humanitarian Award will be presented to KPBS for its decades of covering the true diversity of America and its finest city.

The Nickys’ Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award, established in 1979, was the first award in the nation named after the late San Francisco city and county supervisor, who was assassinated in 1978 while serving as the first openly gay man to hold public office in the U.S. The 2012 recipient of the Harvey Milk Civil Rights Award is Shane Bitney Crone, whose video about the death of his partner went viral on YouTube, with more than 3 million hits.

A documentary film is being made about Shane’s life with his late partner Tom Bridegroom entitled, Bridegroom, An American Love Story.

The second annual presentation of the Michael G. Portantino Outstanding Media Award will be presented to David Mannis, publisher of Uptown News, Gay San Diego, Downtown News, and SDCNN.

Among the more than 30 Nicky Awards categories are Outstanding Organization, Bar Community Event; Outstanding Waiter; Outstanding Journalist; Outstanding Entertainment Group; Outstanding Community Activist; Outstanding Bank; Outstanding Female Personality; Outstanding Male Personality; as well as Outstanding Go-Go Dancer.

The red carpet portion of the festivities begins at 6 p.m., with filmed coverage to be presented later on the Internet. The Nicky Awards have become a fast-paced production, beginning at 7 p.m. sharp.

Tickets and proceeds

All proceeds from the 2012 Nicky Awards will benefit The Center, the Civil Rights Fund of the Human Dignity Foundation and the charity programs of the Imperial Court. There are still some tickets and tables available for this weekend’s big event and they can be purchased at the door.

As then Gov. Gray Davis said, “By showcasing excellence in the community, the Nicky Awards serve as proof that every person has something important to contribute; that each of us can make a difference. This celebration is a tribute to San Diego’s GLBT community, who work hard to improve the quality of life for all.”

For more information about the Nicky Awards, or for tickets, tables, etc., contact Allan Spyere at 619-300-1232; via email at nickyawards@cox.net; or by visiting nickyawards.com. You can also visit and like us on Facebook at facebook.com/thenickyawards

Many words have been used to describe Michael Lucas through the years: abrasive, iron-fisted, arrogant, a hard ass … but family guy?

Believe it or not, the man behind Lucas Entertainment, one of the top five gay adult-entertainment companies in the world, is showing his gentler side these days and it’s all thanks to the “The Power of Love” – in his brand new baby niece.

While promoting his latest film (also titled The Power of Love), we sat down with Michael to discuss why a man who has made a career from being a little hardcore is now getting a little softer.

Michael Lucas … smiling? Your new images show a Michael Lucas rarely seen in media. Is it an attempt at showing your softer side?

Yes, you could say that, but I also think I have just been very happy lately. Everything is going so well in my life. My family, my boyfriend and my business … I really don’t have anything to complain about.

You recently turned 40, one of the key psychological milestones in a person’s life when they evaluate who they are and where they want to be. Are you where you want to be in your life right now?

Yes, I am absolutely where I want to be.

Can you name one thing that is missing?

I pretty much have everything I want in life. There are certain things that I miss and cannot get back like my mother. Her passing was the most devastating thing in my life and it took me about three years to recover.

Would you consider having a child of your own?

I always did, but right now I feel like I do have a child, my niece, Ariela.

What do you enjoy doing with your niece?

She is only three-and-a-half months old so, for the most part, all I can do right now is hold her, give her baths and watch her smile. It’s amazing to see how fast she is becoming aware of things. Just being around her gives me tremendous pleasure.

How do you feel about gay men raising children?

I don’t think it’s about gay men or straight people raising children. I believe it is something that should be done by those who have the desire and passion to do so regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. I have gay friends who have children and they are better parents than some of my straight friends.

If you had a child, would you continue to do porn?

Yes. My film career is something that I’m absolutely proud of.

How would you explain your job to your child?

I don’t see why I would need to explain anything. I have a very progressive family, my parents, brother and my 91-year-old grandmother all know what I do for a living and nobody has a problem with it. Everyone respects and loves me. I don’t see how it will be different when my niece is older. In fact, I bet she will think it’s very cool.

Would you consider yourself a family man?

My family has always been a priority in my life. When I left Russia I immediately started supporting them and have been doing so for the last 17 years. I brought my whole family including my parents, grandparents and my brother to America and gave them a nice life.

What’s the biggest misconception about Michael Lucas?

A lot of people believe I am arrogant which is absolutely not true. I am very confident and that can sometimes come across as conceit.

What do you have left to achieve?

You know, I think what I really need to learn is how to relax and enjoy the moment. I am way too energetic and can never just sit down and relax. It’s something I am currently working on and you know, I think I am getting there.

What do you do to look so good?

I consider myself to be a very disciplined person. I go to the gym everyday, don’t smoke or drink, and have never tried drugs. I live a very healthy lifestyle.

As you grow older, is it getting harder to keep your youthful looks?

I have a very beautiful family. My father has always looked better than I do.

How do you feel about the idea of growing old?

I don’t think anyone wants to grow old, but it is inevitable. That’s why I am trying to enjoy the moment. While I am certainly not afraid of getting older, I do think about it when I spend time with my grandmother. However, seeing her so active and full of life only makes me think positively about the future.

Where can we find you on a Friday night?

I don’t have one spot where you can find me. I am usually with family and friends.

What is currently on your bedside table?

A book of course! Why, what did you think?

Most adult stars would say ‘a dildo’.

I’m not most porn stars.

What’s the last thing you do before turning in each night?

I read a book.

Does Michael Lucas say his prayers?

No, I don’t believe in anything supernatural and I don’t know any prayers.

How do you plan to spend the next forty years?

I look forward to traveling more and working less while spending time with close family and friends in New York.

What’s your message to the gay community?

Don’t do drugs and stop others from doing them.

Episode 1 of The Power of Love is now streaming to members of LucasEntertainment.com The DVD will release July 6.

Kevin Beiser is a very interesting man. Who he is and what he does only furthers that interest.

In an election year that has already proven to be wrought with controversy, and insincerity, Beiser, a man who comes from very humble beginnings, seeks to be re-elected in his position on the San Diego Unified School Board.

Beiser openly admits that this position was not something he sought out, or thought he’d ever do; yet here we are. “I never thought I would ever run for elected office – ever,” Beiser said. “I was at a Padres game with a couple friends, one of whom is a retired teacher, and they asked me if I would run for the school board.”

While he may have thought he’d never run for an elected office, Beiser has always been involved in politics working to fight for a positive change. “There was a combination of things that culminated in my decision to run for the school board in an effort to make a difference in San Diego Schools,” he said. “As a teacher, I was involved in a variety of ways to help improve student learning and better myself. My experience also provides me a unique perspective and understanding of the challenges in today’s classroom. Being a voice for teachers and educators on the school board adds an essential perspective to the discourse in board meetings and ultimately helps kids.”

Beiser, who is openly gay, is also a math teacher at Granger Junior high school in Chula Vista. His path to becoming a teacher came from his desire to help others; in fact, he often tutored algebra and math to fellow students in high school when he was growing up.

Being involved with both of these positions has been a challenge for Beiser given his openness about his homosexuality. He confided that it has both hurt and helped him in with his work.

“The key for me is that it is just another aspect of who I am,” Beiser said. “Just like any other characteristic that people have. I am a math teacher that cares about helping students learn and succeed – that is what defines me as a person. I never really consider myself a “trailblazer” being the first gay person elected to the school board because I admire those that I consider to be the real trailblazers: Christine Kehoe, Toni Atkins and Todd Gloria.”

He also has a very strong stance on bullying, a trend that has been in the news frequently in the last few years, and what it was like to deal with that when he was growing up.

“I know a lot of people that were bullied as kids and some of them attempted suicide,” Beiser recalls. “I remember in high school walking home one day and a bunch of kids started shooting bottle rockets at me and yelling horrible things at me. I ran as fast as I could – then they stopped chasing me. I remember being pushed in the hallways and the verbal taunting. But it got better. I met Dan Savage a few times in the ‘90s and thought he was a great advocate for LGBT issues and I greatly respect his It Gets Better campaign. We have to continue to let kids, who suffer from bullying and intolerance, know that they are not alone and that they are loved. Life has its ups and downs, but as Ellen DeGeneres said in the movie Finding Nemo, “Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.”

Beiser is also honest about how he feels bullying exists on some levels in his school and every school and how he wants to minimize those opportunities for kids to be mean.

“We have to minimize those opportunities for kids to be mean and when it does occur we use that teachable moment to help people learn from their mistakes,” Beiser said.

Beiser mentioned that last week an English teacher asked her 7^th graders to write about what they liked and didn’t like about being in junior high and recalled one student mentioning how he’d been bullied for seven years but that bully was now gone from his life.

“Here at Granger,” Beiser said. “The staff seriously doesn’t allow bullying. So far, I haven’t seen any one getting bullied ever. They also put in a bullying hotline to help. The English teacher [that] forwarded this to the staff wrote, ‘I think this is a bit heartbreaking but also validating to the work you do.’ Wow. I almost cried. This is a tribute to the entire staff at my school. The “HATE FREE ZONE” signs all over campus, the anti-bullying hotline and staff expectations have made a difference at my school. There are schools just like this all over San Diego that are doing the right thing for kids and creating safe learning environments. We must continue to create a culture of tolerance and understanding in schools so that kids can concentrate on learning and being kids in a positive learning environment where they can thrive.”

The one thing that stands out about Beiser, and the work he is doing, is where he came from and how he worked his way out of a life of poverty to achieve the important role that he plays today both at Granger and the Unified School Board.

“I grew up in a large family in poverty,” Beiser admits. “Sometimes it was really challenging with no electricity, no water and sometimes we had to go search for food in food banks and anywhere else we could. For a few years we lived in a tent and for a while I lived in a homeless shelter with my mom and two younger siblings. They would wake us up every morning with country music at the shelter. In the fourth grade I remember waking up to my mom’s crying. I went out to the living room in our apartment and saw my mom and dad looking at coins and bills stacked up all over the table. I asked what was wrong. My mom replied, ‘We do not have enough money for rent.’ We moved a lot when I was growing up, but nothing was worse than living in a tent during my middle and high school years. I was ashamed and never wanted to live like that again. I wanted to break out of poverty. I knew that I wanted to go to college to achieve that dream. Most of my students live in poverty and many will be the first in their family to graduate from high school. The kids are awesome and all want to learn and do a good job so that they too can realize the American dream and go to college. In my algebra class we learn the content, but there are also other things that are vital to their success as students and people – like learning to persevere and overcome obstacles. Everyone has challenges in life, but the key is to achieve despite them. My mom always says, ‘What does not kill us only makes us stronger.’ I could not agree more. We must teach our kids to be strong and never give up.”

It is apparent that those last words have become a way of life for Beiser, not only as a child but also, even now, as an adult, politician and teacher.

Offering a discount to support a social cause is certainly nothing new in commerce or politics; and one where both business and cardholder can come together in support of such a worthy cause as equal rights is obviously a win-win for all parties.

One spin on that tried-true-model is The Pride Card, a keychain discount card that gives more than 8,000 consumers special deals at restaurants, shops and other businesses, while simultaneously providing contributions to non-profits that serve the LGBT community.

The card, founded by Bo Andras in July 2009, and launched at the San Diego Pride festival that same year expanded its reach just in time for Pride, with the launch of a new iPhone Pride Card mobile application.

The Pride Card allows businesses to show their support for equal rights, while offering special discounts to cardholders for goods and services. All the cardholder has to do is show her card when checking out.

Says Andras, “In May 2011, I partnered with Stampp Corbin, publisher of San Diego LGBT Weekly, and we restructured The Pride Card and rebranded it into the LGBT Weekly Pride Card.”

According to Andras. The Pride Card mobile app for iPhone, iPad and iPod Touch was approved and launched July 18. The Pride Card mobile app for Android is planned.

The Pride Card is also an integrated part of a popular new location-driven iPhone app called OutRightNow. Says Andras, “This app with GPS, informs the user of anything happening in San Diego that is a LGBT event – for example, a happy hour bar, a weekend activity or a bar event, as well as non-profit events. In this app The Pride Card is listed as Pride Card discounts and it contains the same information and style as The Pride Card app will have. We have partnered with OutRightNow and are co-branding the app.”

The Pride Card app is GPS-based and shows the logo, address and contact information, as well as “share” or “add to favorites” functions for the closest Pride Card business to the users current location.

“You also have the choice, with a drop down menu, to search by category of what business you are looking for,” Andras said. Once you find the business, just click on it and it will bring you to The Pride Card discount and let you know what it is and if there are any restrictions – just like the Web site listing does. You can also click on the business Web site and can go directly there for additional information. In the OutRightNow app, if a business listed is a Pride Card business, The Pride Card icon will appear to let you know that this business has The Pride Card discount.”

The Pride Card currently has more than 100 businesses that offer discounts for goods or services. While the card is based in San Diego, and a large majority of the businesses that support it are in the San Diego area, Andras points out that, “We are distributing The Pride Card in Oceanside at the NCRC, in Vista and in San Bernardino/Riverside through Inland Empire Pride. We will also start bringing on businesses in those areas once we get the cardholder level up to where it will benefit those businesses.”

One such local establishment that supports the card is Baja Betty’s. Says the bar’s Courtney, “We love The Pride Card. It is an opportunity to attract in new guests who may not have heard of Baja Betty’s, and we accept it because it is a great program based in the gay community.”

Adds David, manager of Crypt on Park, another business that supports The Pride Card, “It brings in people who also support equal rights, increases traffic to our business through The Pride Card Website, and keeps customers coming back since we offer a 20 percent discount to cardholders on their most expensive item.”

Expansion is on the cards. Adds Andras, “I am constantly being contacted by people and businesses from all over the country wanting to join and be a part of The Pride Card. I have also been contacted by a few places in Baja, Mexico, that are interested. We are looking to expand The Pride Card into more areas. That will come in time and after we make sure we are doing it right, here in San Diego.”

Continues Andras, “The biggest task is to get The Pride Card in the hands of local customers so that the local businesses can benefit. If it’s a business that wants to draw Pride cardholders from San Diego, then it could be a business that can come onboard sooner, instead of waiting for us to expand to them – for example, a tourist destination or a hotel or vacation venue wanting to offer a discount.”

What are the benefits to cardholders? Says Baja Betty’s Courtney, “The benefit for the cardholder is, first, saving a little money. Also, it is a nice way to say thank you for choosing Betty’s as your bar/dining experience for that time.”

At The Crypt on Park, David said of cardholder benefits, “Twenty percent off one item per person, per day, and the peace of mind of knowing that our business caters to LGBT community members.”

Obtaining a card is simply a matter of stopping by one of 12 designated distribution locations and providing a name and email. The card received is already active. Shortly after getting a card, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the cardholder receives an email announcing any new businesses and the discounts they offer. The email also highlights existing businesses that already support the card and extra discounts or coupons the cardholder can receive.

As to why businesses accept the card, Crypt on Park’s David, says, “We support the LGBT community, equal rights for all, and that no discrimination of any kind will be tolerated. Those are our values and that of The Pride Card, hence we love accepting it.”

A complete card distribution location list – which includes The Center, Mankind and the Postal Annex in Hillcrest – can be found on The Pride Card Web site at thepridecard.com

The store is quiet. It is morning, and before the doors open we rush to get things ready to serve our customers. For 22 years hundreds of volunteers and storekeepers have felt the same tingling of anticipation. Gary Cheatham began almost a quarter century ago in his garage thinking of a way to help his many friends who were sick, and having so many health issues. AIDS was breaking through as the decimator of the 20th century, and Gary needed to help, somehow. He began doing laundry for a few friends, and then it was in the dozens/hundreds. He left a high-paying corporate job, found ways to get funded (Joan Kroc gave a stellar start to Aunties!) and the thrift store and laundry fluff and fold were officially born. Today, we have more than 150 clients who receive monthly clothing allowances, 50 current laundry clients, and have a generous Saturday morning food give-away from Trader Joe’s (arrive early) We have medical equipment available to the community as well. The store and offices have gone through a recent renovation and rejuvenation of the spirit. It strives to go back to a grassroots time of simply reaching out to the community. Unfortunately, giving costs a lot. Expenses keep going up. Learning how much everything costs is a shock to this new manager/bookkeeper. We are constantly seeking new ways to save, and obtain grants from the community/state/government. The HIV/AIDS community needs help in so many ways. Our constituents that are homeless, with debilitating diseases, and just plain in need are not forgotten here at Auntie Helen’s. We ask the public to donate! Clean those closets out, clear the attic and storage centers, tame the hoarder within and let go of something for the greater cause. Come in and shop. We have often been rated the best thrift store in San Diego, with good reason. Remember us in your will. We are more than happy to provide you with our tax id number. Cash, credit or check donations are always appreciated and fully tax deductible. I asked our dynamic team of volunteers and staff what keeps them coming back to Auntie’s? Some of the responses I got were: “It is simply the best place to interact with amazing clients and co-workers,” “Doing something for the community felt right and true,” and “Staying involved with the finest historic HIV/AIDS organization in San Diego is vastly important.”

Michael Dudley, our inspiring executive director states, “The love, the memories, the refuge from everyday living saved my life.” Historically, and most amazingly enough, we are the only laundry service in the country devoted fully to HIV/AIDS patients, and now, indigent, short-term and long term illnesses. Auntie’s is now open 7 days a week. Tuesday-Saturday 10-6 p.m. Sunday-Monday 11-5 p.m. The donations center is open in the back alley from Tuesday-Saturday 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Smaller donations can always be brought in during store hours also. We offer pick-up for donations Thursday/Friday afternoons within 5 miles of the store. Auntie’s is at 4028 30th Street in awesome North Park. Phone 619-584-8438. Loving is the answer, caring our cause.

More than 20 years have passed since we bid adieu to the ’80s. But on Friday nights at the San Diego Museum of Art, those days are fondly remembered through author and San Diego LGBT Weekly columnist Andrew Printer’s The Quilt Conversation, an ongoing project that explores everything from the start of the AIDS crisis to the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Every year, the San Diego Museum of Art hosts a summer salon featuring a variety of artists with a common theme. Titled Beyond the Banner, this summer’s focus is on history and how information is passed along and interpreted. The centerpieces of the salon are four elaborate tapestries depicting scenes of Portugal’s history from the late 1400s.

When the museum asked the community to submit artistic proposals for the event, Printer created The Quilt Conversation. Printer’s idea was partially inspired by the AIDS Memorial Quilt, which began in 1987 as a way to memorialize those who died from AIDS and now consists of 48,000 panels.

“I think the AIDS quilt came to mind because of the tapestries, which are big, handmade craft objects that depict history,” Printer said. “And the AIDS quilt is this massive, handmade craft object that records history.”

LGBT issues is not a new topic for Printer, who filmed two documentaries during the ‘90s about people living with AIDS and focused on the gay identity of older males in grad school. About a year ago, one of Printer’s classes discussed the 1980s and the history of AIDS during the era.

“It was a weird phenomenon to be in the university and have the class talk about things that were historical but that I actually took part in,” said Printer. “It’s a good example of seeing how histories get formed by conversation and other people … how history gets digested and discussed and becomes something different.”

The premise of The Quilt Conversation is twofold. In addition to the quilts creating a visual representation of the ‘80s, the stories that the quilters share with one another during the two hour quilting sessions are also being recorded. These memories will be presented as a live performance Aug. 31.

“After recording the conversations, I’m giving that material to the performance artists and improvisational dancers. They will listen to all this data and will turn it into a show about what happened,” Printer explained. “It’s all aiming to oppose the idea that something happened once upon a time and that the story that we’ve heard is the only thing that is true.”

Each Friday through August, two groups meet at the museum to create a quilt that depicts their personal highlights of the ‘80s. One group consists of members of the LGBT community, three of whom have lived with HIV/AIDS for more than 20 years. The other group is composed of quilting enthusiasts from around the county.

“When I learned of the theme, I was excited and the idea of The Quilt Conversation came to mind rather quickly,” said Printer. “But when the museum approved it, I thought, ‘what have I done?’ because I don’t quilt and I don’t know any quilters.”

Printer found a group of 20 volunteers, relatively easily, to help with the non-LGBT side of the project. These quilters are currently working on various panels for the quilt, including a representation of the Berlin Wall and Paul Simon’s “Graceland.”

Finding volunteers to help with the LGBT quilt proved more difficult. Printer eventually found one volunteer, who worked with gay men in the ‘80s on the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and she was able to point him to another. Eventually, a handful of volunteers, including three who lived through the ‘80s with HIV/AIDS, decided to help.

“It’s been interesting that it’s been hard to mobilize any LGBT interest,” said Printer. “I know some of the people that were around in the ‘80s said it was like post-traumatic stress disorder and they didn’t want to relive that, but some of them have actually come around. They find it a little cathartic now, sitting around and recollecting.”

While the core groups of each side are set, visitors to the museum are welcome to stop by and join in the conversation or lend a helping hand.

The Quilt Conversation takes place Fridays through the end of August at the San Diego Museum of Art from 6 to 8 p.m.

Dr. Clarence Jones

When the man who wrote some of the most memorable and important words ever spoken in the history of the English language has something to say; when Dr. Clarence Jones, speechwriter for the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. has something to say; people’s ears tend to perk up.

Expect thousands of perked-up ears and as many stirred spirits when 2012 Spirit of Stonewall Rally keynote speaker, Clarence Jones sets the official tone for this year’s Pride events with a speech especially crafted for this event and for this generation of LGBT Americans.

“He had an event at the Bishop School,” explained San Diego Pride board member, Dion Brown, who helped facilitate Clarence Jones’ appearance as this year’s keynote speaker. “He was there talking about his work behind the scenes of the 1963 March on Washington with people like Bayard Rustin. After his talk, Dr. Jones and the moderator were sitting on the stage, and he took questions, but I kept getting overlooked.”

Finally, chosen as the last questioner, Brown presented his inquiry.

“I asked him what Dr. King’s stance was on LGBT rights and where he would stand on the subject of same-sex marriage,” Brown told San Diego LGBT Weekly. “Dr. Jones gave an incredibly eloquent answer.”

According to Brown, Clarence Jones’ response, which was favorable to LGBT rights and marriage equality, was so eloquent that it changed hearts and minds in the audience that day.

“During the half hour that I waited in line to shake hands with Dr. Jones after the event, several people came up to me and told me that they had changed their minds and become supporters of same-sex marriage,” Brown said.

Dr. Jones shared a preview of that speech and some memories of Dr. King, as well as a few comparisons of the early civil rights movement, which cracked open the door to the possibility of an African American president of the United States of America, to that of LGBT equality.

“One of the things I say in the speech I will deliver Saturday about the LGBT community,” said Jones. “… is that your indefatigable efforts to challenge our nation to reclaim its soul for the sake of fairness and respect for the sacredness of individual rights and personal freedoms has been no less, and is no less, extraordinary as the leadership of Martin Luther King Jr. in the 20th century, which enabled America to reclaim its soul and to end racial segregation.”

Although he demurs at the suggestion, there’s no doubt that Jones must have devised many of the enshrined phrases uttered so eloquently by Dr. King as he led African Americans and the American people out of the darkness of segregation. One hears a familiar tone in the former’s current parlance as he explains the potential power of speech to change the world for the better.

“I say certain things about fairness and equality to my friends and colleagues in the African American church community that aren’t always that popular,” Jones said. “I had to publicly criticize the African American church community for its opposition to gay rights. I had to do this because we, who are the leaders of the straight community, owe a debt of gratitude to you, our LGBT colleagues. As Dr. King would say, ‘All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.’”

In fact, Clarence Jones was already bucking a widely accepted notion that it would be next to impossible to change the minds of African American religious leaders and their older, more traditionally-minded, congregants about what he sees as the fundamental right to marriage for same-sex couples, even before President Barack Obama disclosed his personal evolution to that same belief.

Jones’ demonstrations of willingness to stick his neck out on behalf of the LGBT community led to his being asked to deliver the keynote address at the 35th anniversary observance of the assassination of Harvey Milk, by the Harvey Milk Democratic Club in San Francisco. That engagement, and his persuasive words of support for LGBT rights at the Bishop’s School in La Jolla, led ultimately to Dion Brown and fellow Pride board member, Ebony Aldridge asking Dr. Jones to deliver the keynote at San Diego Pride this weekend.

Fortuitously for San Diegans and Pride visitors, Jones accepted. San Diego LGBT Weekly is at once humbled by and proud to accept the opportunity to sponsor Dr. Jones’ address at the Spirit of Stonewall Rally, which will be held at 6 p.m. at the intersection of Harvey Milk Street (formerly Blaine Avenue) and Normal Street in the heart of Hillcrest.

Clarence Jones acted as an attorney to Martin Luther King Jr. during a 1960 tax case brought by the government, which ended in King’s favor. Jones was King’s lead draft speechwriter, professional counsel and close personal friend. It was Jones who advised Dr. King to weigh in with a message about peace to President John F. Kennedy during the pivotal Cuban missile crisis, according to Wikipedia. After King’s assassination, Jones worked in corporate law as well as continuing to serve in civil rights advocacy positions and in academia. He is the resident scholar at the Martin Luther King Jr. Institute at Stanford University, and author of two books about his time with the legendary civil rights icon; What Would Martin Say? (HarperCollins, 2008) and Behind the Dream: The Making of the Speech that Transformed a Nation (Palgrave-Macmillan, 2011).

Asked what Dr. King would say to President Obama if he could offer the president only one piece of advice, Jones answered, “Stay the course. Be guided by what is morally right, not what is politically expedient. In the end, it is that by which you will be judged.”

Asked what advice he would offer a young LGBT American, setting out to make her or his way in the world today, Dr. Jones, said, “To be gay in America and have a sense of survival, you have to develop a mindset, if you’ll allow me to use street vernacular, that I’m the baddest mother fucker there is; I have a sense of my own pride; and I demand to be respected.”

The LGBT community has made tremendous progress toward equality during the last decade. With much more to accomplish, one of the most tragic issues lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities locally, nationally and globally face, is youth homelessness. Our community’s youth continue to face severe and heart-wrenching challenges and difficulties.

“Think of it this way,” said Delores Jacobs, CEO of The San Diego LGBT Community Center. “Most estimates put the LGBT community in urban communities at 9-14 percent of the population, yet 25 percent – 40 percent of the homeless youth in those same areas identify as LGBT – double to quadruple our overall population ratio. Some might call that figure horrifying.

“It’s a sad and ironic truth that the rallying cry of anti-LGBT groups is ‘protect the children,’” Jacobs continued. “Because they certainly aren’t protecting ours. Our youth continue to be mistreated and left unprotected. They are too often betrayed, wounded and thrown out by their schools, their communities and their families. The Center’s Sunburst Youth Housing Project is dedicated to protecting these youth, who have been so damaged by the very people and institutions who are charged to care for them.”

The Sunburst Youth Housing Project was created after The Center and several key public figures and groups undertook a rigorous needs assessment of homeless LGBT youth in the San Diego area, and several years of detailed and conscientious planning. Sunburst provides supportive housing for formerly homeless San Diego youth between the ages of 18 and 24, with a special needs focus on LGBT and HIV-positive young people.

There are 23 apartments within the Sunburst building, which is located in downtown San Diego.

“Many of our Youth Housing Project residents cite their sexual orientation and/or their gender identity as one of the primary reasons for their homelessness,” said Beth Barnes, The Center’s director of operations and quality assurance. “All of our residents have had at least one clinically-defined traumatic experience in their lives. Many have highly unstable family histories and have experienced abuse in all forms, and untreated or undiagnosed mental illness or substance abuse in at least one parent. They have suffered with serious challenges themselves, ranging from major depression to post-traumatic stress disorder or anxiety disorders. Almost half have struggled with substance use or HIV infection.

“I share those numbers so people can understand the devastating impact of homophobia, abuse, neglect and homelessness,” Barnes explained. “They do not have these serious challenges to deal with because they are LGB or T, but because of how their families, their schools, their neighborhoods and their churches, etc. have dealt with the fact that they are LGB or T.”

Sunburst Youth Housing Project

LGBT youth living on the streets face significant obstacles, in addition to survival.

Homeless LGBT youths are frequently charged by the police for sleeping in public places or prostitution, which some might more accurately describe as “survival sex.”

The primary goal of programs like the Youth Housing Project is to get young people into stable housing so that work can effectively begin on other issues. The Center for American Progress estimates that it costs $53,665 per year to maintain a young adult in the criminal justices system, but only a fraction of that to move them off the streets and into supportive housing.

According to experts, a youth who has been homeless for two years needs special support to leave behind the world of the streets. Sunburst offers much of that support. Once taken in by the program, however, new challenges face the formerly homeless LGBT youth. Suddenly, instead of her day-to-day life being consumed with basic survival, she is asked to imagine a future beyond the immediate. That’s a proposition that is more challenging than it sounds. Many simply can’t envision a life other than one based in survival mode.

At Sunburst, support is provided by a team of specially trained professionals who provide case management and a full spectrum of supportive services to residents. Services and programs available through the program range from mental health counseling; employment readiness training and basic life skills training (which includes cooking, grocery shopping, personal hygiene, taking care of an apartment, etc.) to basic budgeting and financial skills.

Additionally, residents get access to medical and dental care. Sunburst also supports the educational goals of its youthful residents, whether those goals are simply obtaining a GED or high school diploma, or going on to vocational training or college and university enrollment.

In the immediacy, Youth Housing Project staff work closely with residents to set achievable short-term goals. One important objective is to help residents obtain employment as soon as possible and develop employment goals and plans for how to achieve them. Case managers work with residents to help them make these plans and carry them out by working on resume writing, interviewing skills and assisting with job searches.

“While we are not able to report success for all residents, we have seen amazing and inspiring transformations,” said Barnes. “The past stories of most of these youth would bring you to tears – the despair, the hardship, the family rejection. But now their stories are about the present and their future, and those can also bring you to tears. They are so determined, willing to learn and work hard to achieve goals they had never dreamed were possible. Their resilience is simply stunning. Watching them work toward creating a better, independent life for themselves is just one measure of their courage.”

The most common desire for any man or woman looking to shape, tone, firm and look sexy is to achieve “washboard abs.” This goal is achieved by the five components of fitness: a nutritional, healthy diet; resistance training; supplements; cardiovascular exercise; and the benefit of a personal trainer to teach these components. While it seems that athletes and actors are the only individuals portrayed with this sexually appealing attribute, anyone with the will to remain committed to the components of fitness can achieve “washboard abs.”

Diet

A low-fat diet, perhaps no more than 20-grams of fat per day, should be a starting point; this will help trim away excess calories, and in turn, help shed excess pounds from the body.

Cardio

In order to speed up the process of fat loss, it is necessary to jumpstart the metabolism with both cardiovascular training and resistance training. The most effective cardio training is done with a slow interval at first, followed by an interval that pushes the person to go as fast as possible; then repeating the slow interval, followed by another fast interval; repeating this process for a period of at least thirty minutes for up to an hour.

Resistance

Resistance training can be done with balls, bands and a person’s own body weight. One effective way to workout and achieve the goal of being shirtless by August is to alternate with cardiovascular training one day, and resistance training the next. The workouts should occur at least six days a week.

R&R

The seventh day should be for rest and recuperation. A person that is just beginning a workout program should always check with his or her doctor to determine a level of fitness and what goals to set. Fat loss occurs generally at a resistance weight of fifteen pounds or less. Heavier weight adds muscle mass, and the more muscle the body has, the more efficiently the body will burn fat.

Trainer

A certified, knowledgeable personal trainer can offer advice on any fitness component; it is best to get advice about supplements from a qualified personal trainer because each body has very different needs, and supplements do different things.

Body hair

Once the fitness goal is reached, or while in the process of achieving that goal, there are some optional steps to preparing the body to look good shirtless. A man with “washboard abs” wants the world to admire and appreciate his hard work and dedication to his body. He may not want so many follicles on his chest, back or stomach. There are several possible solutions to this dilemma, but each has its cost. It is up to the individual to choose what the best course of action is. The cheapest and simplest, but least rewarding solution, is trimming with scissors or a razor. Depending on genetics, trimming hair can make it grow back thicker, darker and coarser.

Another possible solution is to use a hair-removal cream, but this choice has some negative drawbacks. These creams use chemicals that can be just as harsh on the skin as they are on removing hair. They can lead to burning, irritation and, in some rare cases, cause bleeding. Prolonged use of hair-removal creams does condition the hair to grow back thinner with each use, but it can also cause discoloration of the skin. It would be a travesty to invest the time and hard work on the body as described and have admirers distracted by a blotch of green skin.

A third choice for hair removal is to wax. While there are many promising home-care wax products, they can be quite messy. Waxing is also painful for people with sensitive skin, and it is possible to rip the skin off with the hair if the wax process is not done correctly. It is highly recommended to get a wax job at a salon.

The final method is electrolysis. This can be a costly procedure, but the benefits tend to outweigh the costs. Some people require a few more treatments than others, but electrolysis is designed to completely eliminate body hair over time.

Tan

With a healthy diet, smooth skin and “washboard abs,” there is still more to do in order to become shirtless by August. No one wants to see whitewashed abs. Get some sun! A little bit of tanning goes a long way in an admirer’s eye. Invest in deep tanning lotions so that the sun does not permanently damage the skin. If the outdoors is not a comfortable place, it’s back to the salon! It is vital to skin-health to verify the salon is licensed to do tanning because of the tricky lighting process. One should also ask about sanitizing routines before and after the use of a tanning bed or tanning spray.

Shirtless and proud

At the completion of all these steps, the body is ready to be shirtless. Take it off, be proud and share with the world. All eyes will be on the shirtless guy, with “washboard abs,” smooth skin and a great tan.

Positive Youth, a 42-minute documentary produced by Logo TV, tells the story of four inspiring young adults whose lives are affected by HIV. Appearing at film festivals across the United States and Canada during the summer, including FilmOut San Diego May 31, Positive Youth shares a message of hope for those living with HIV and helps to educate the public. The DVD will be released July 1 on Amazon.

Today, HIV affects more than 41 million people around the world. Although there is no cure, huge medical advancements have been made in the past 30 years. There are now treatments that can reduce viral loads; lower the risk of transmission; and allow those with HIV to live “normal” lives.

San Diego LGBT Weekly spoke with Charlie David, director of Positive Youth, to learn more about his inspiration for filming the documentary; what he learned in the process; and what he hopes viewers will take away from the film.

San Diego LGBT Weekly: What was your inspiration that prompted Positive Youth?

Charlie David: I was in New York for a meeting with Logo TV and as we tossed around ideas, this concept of doing something on HIV-positive youth came up. It floored me, frankly. That’s how I knew that it was a good idea. The film would look at the question of why is the transmission rate dramatically rising and see if there’s something we could do about it to open the conversation again.

Have you ever been close to anyone who was HIV-positive?

Prior to the film, actually no. It was a big learning curve for me, definitely. I realized that my own sex education on HIV and AIDS was somewhat outdated and there are great thing going on with the medical advancements. It’s changing all the time. There are so many clinical trials going on that we are getting closer and closer to a potential vaccine, which is very exciting. Certainly, on an emotional level I learned a lot by speaking with the subjects in my film; because where we might not have the same fear of dying or as many concerns about the side effects of the drugs that we did in the ’80s and ’90s there’s still a lot of emotional stress.

Charlie David

How did you find the subjects for the documentary?

It was not easy. The biggest thing that people face today is the stigma and the fear of isolation and rejection. I reached out to a lot of people and received quite a few nos. I eventually found my subjects who I think are incredibly brave in opening up their homes and hearts to us about the film. It started in Vancouver; I was there for a film festival last summer and I started asking youth groups and HIV and AIDS resource centers and asking if there was anyone there who would be willing to participate in the documentary. I found Jesse Brown and he graciously helped us out. With Chris Brooks in Orlando, I felt that it was important to find someone in the African American community because the statistics are fairly dramatic in that 68 percent of new transmissions between the ages of 13 and 29 are African Americans. I thought if I didn’t have someone from the black community that I would get a big personal fail. I wanted to make sure that it was as diverse in its presentation as possible.

What do you hope that viewers will take away from this film?

My goal was to have a two-fold message. The first part is for those that are negative in the audience watching to take it as a message of caution. To recognize that although there have been fantastic medical advancements and it may not be a fear of dying and chronic illness anymore, it’s still extremely traumatic having to deal with ongoing treatment in one’s life. And to take the necessary precautions, like with safe sex.

Number two, for people who are positive, that they can have hope. We are showing young, aspirational individuals who are living really exciting and wonderful and positive lives. We wanted to say that even if you are positive, this is not the end of the world. You can have a long and healthy and happy life.

What are some of the more surprising things that someone might learn from the film?

There are many different things. One in 35 young men in the Vancouver area under the age of 30 are positive and don’t know. Or a fact like in the city of New York, in a more gay-centric neighborhood like Chelsea or Hell’s Kitchen, that that statistic is likely closer to be 1 in 2, which is pretty startling. Just that the treatment has really changed from one time when you would be taking up to 60 pills a day to now there being some treatment regimens that are only one pill a day. Also, the fact that someone used to get tested and have to wait for two weeks to find the result. You can imagine what that would be like. You might be positive and you had to stretch it out for two weeks to find the result. Now we have rapid tests and can find the results in 20 minutes.

(L-R) David Housel, James Credle, Arthur McLean, Salih Michael Fisher, George Keyes

We get it. Millennials, those born roughly between 1983 and 2001, thunderously approve of same-sex marriage. Poll after poll after poll indicates that the generation that enters the last year of its 20s this year not only endorses the civil rights of same-sex couples, but has claimed the revelation of its position as its very own ‘Selma’ moment. And thanks to this generation of young people, the debate has quickly turned from ‘if’ to ‘when.’ Or as Harvard Supreme Court scholar, Laurence H. Tribe succinctly noted in the New York Times recently, “The constitutional necessity of same-sex marriage is only a matter of time. It is inevitable.”

But when that very same sense of civil and judicial outrage turns to matters racial, something flounders. Somewhere along the march to progress, young gay men and women have pulled back the spigot on equality and have chosen, subconsciously or not, to ignore the undercurrents of racism that exist even in the LGBT community.

And the evidence is everywhere. From the lack of leadership roles being filled by people of color in gay civil rights organizations, to the underreporting of issues of importance in communities of color . Racism is alive and well. One need only glance at mobile hook-up sites like Grindr and Adam4Adam where “whites only, just a preference” or “no Asians” reminds each and every one of us that “the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals,” as Mr. King once remarked, is required from each and every one of us if we are to get past the racial barriers. Thi may be, especially true in the LGBT community.

For all the talk of how far we’ve come in the last ten or so years in the fight for LGBT rights, it’s fairly remarkable how few steps our community has taken on the racial front.

So, when the National Association of Black and White Men Together (NABWMT), a group whose consciousness-raising goals have been arguably unmet, meet for their 32nd annual convention here in San Diego this July, one of the questions that must be asked is why. after three decades of enormous progress on LGBT civil rights, is the HIV/AIDS battle in the black gay community barely a blip on our cultural radar, at the same time the appearance of Chaz Bono on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars gets the sort of press normally reserved for kings and presidents?

James Credle and Salih Michel Fisher

NABWMT, a 32-year-old organization, founded by the long deceased Michael Smith, originally began as the National Association of Black and White Men Together. It evolved over time with many of its chapters opening as Men of All Colors Together to reflect each of the chapters’ various demographic realities (there are even People of All Colors Together groups, which include women.) Still, the organization has largely remained intact through some 20 chapters spread throughout the United States (from a high of somewhere in the neighborhood of 35-40 groups “back in the day.”) “The movement started back in 1980. It was started as a result of groups involved in interracial relationships. Groups were starting throughout the United States but primarily predominantly in San Francisco and New York,” recalls James Credle, a former chair and board member. “[At the time], the groups were primarily interested in black and white dating and homosexuality and trying to make their relationships work.

That was May 1980. Later in the year, they met and decided to form a national organization. Its purpose was to work against the racism, sexism and homophobia in the community and in our lives. And in doing that we had hoped to build better cross-racial relationships.”

In theory, at least, that was the plan. But as time marched on, James began to notice that fault lines were developing. “In New York, we were what one might describe as more ‘political’ about our work and in San Francisco they decided they wanted to have a more social relationship and not deal with the politics of [interracial dating]. That became a dynamic that has lasted until today.”

But if the groups were divided by more than just a continent, Credle points out that the core fundamentals were in place to address those issues that still resonate with us today. “The primary thing that happened in the ’80s, which continues to be the reason why people come to the meetings, was we had consciousness-raising sessions in which we talked about real issues facing men in relationships, particularly men from different ethnic groups; and this was one of the primary things that drew people to the organization. We talked real. It was heavy-duty dialog and discussion around race and the politics of being homosexual, as black, as white and as you are trying to come together in a relationship.”

Still, the intergroup dynamics continue to this day, as they do among any organization. A bigger, perhaps more vexing issue is, who is coming up through the ranks to fill the leadership roles? Can a generation raised on virtual networks and emoticons be counted on to do the organizational lifting that is required of any group if it is to move forward into the future? And, more importantly, are groups like these still relevant to a generation that, by many accounts, finds the concept of physical interaction something of a quirk in human interaction?

“We do it electronically, by word of mouth, by publications, by blogging, by Facebook,” Ken Baron, the national co-chair of the organization explained over the phone from Long Beach, somewhat circumspectly. “Have you seen our Web site? You’ll see we have a variety of answers to your questions.” Answers, yes, but for today’s 35-and-unders (a demographic one might argue is the key to their future), are the questions those answers providing even being raised? Moreover, are they even still relevant? Ken adds, “We’re evolving our relations. Our demographics, like any other organization, shift with the years. Are we getting younger people below 30? Not that many. Are we getting people below 40? Yes. 50 to 60? Yes. So, I don’t know if we target these things but at every new convention we get between 20-25 percent of new people.”

But the question that begs asking is, however, how are you reaching out to new people that aren’t already disposed to a colorblind society? How do you convince people who have already formed preconceived ideas in their head – “whites only, just a preference” – that interracial and interethnic relationships often result in unexpectedly rich cultural tapestries emotionally, intellectually and spiritually?

The annual conference itself will be held at the San Diego Convention Center beginning Monday, July 16 and running through Saturday, July 21. Throughout the week the national leadership will provide conferences, workshops, luncheons and single-mingle dating events (including a social mixer at popular gay club Pecs, Wednesday night). The week will cap off with the organization’s keynote speaker Saturday night, the 15th surgeon general of the United States, Dr. Jocelyn Elders.

For more information about The National Association of Black and White Men Together, the convention, activities or how to become a member, visit their Web site at nabwmt.org.