Commentary: Conversations with Nicole

BY NICOLE MURRAY RAMIREZ

Carl DeMaio

It was very interesting all the reaction I got from last week’s column concerning Carl DeMaio. Lots of emails, calls and comments – almost 100 percent negative. Well, I’m sure DeMaio has supporters in our community but there are certainly a lot of “haters.”

First of all, let me make myself perfectly clear … I stand by what I wrote and would not change a word, period. If gay critics and writers (including myself) can knock DeMaio, for launching his mayoral campaign and not including his gay life partner and saying he was “single” in that Union Tribune questionnaire, we can salute him for his recent campaign launch that had his partner by his side this time around.

As I stated, many of us are awaiting his stand on immigration reform and how he will handle the endorsements of right wing homophobes. Hopefully, this time he will distance himself from their anti-gay stands. Some in our community cannot move on and seemingly love to carry bad baggage and past differences and campaigns forever. Life’s too short. As for me, I choose to move on.

I have not made any endorsement in the upcoming 52^nd Congressional District campaign but will do so in the future. And while I disagree with my good friend Susan Jester’s recent SDGLN’s commentary entitled, “Carl DeMaio: our modern LGBT role model,” I also disagree with the Democratic Party labeling DeMaio as an “extremist” last week.

If I’ve learned anything about politics and our community’s fight for equality it’s that people do change and we all learn from life’s experiences, and hopefully Carl DeMaio has also. Time, his actions and stands in this upcoming congressional campaign will tell.

About Father’s Day

This holiday always leaves me with mixed emotions that are mostly sad. Like many in our GLBT community my father was not accepting of my homosexuality and we really never came to an understanding or even a discussion before he died of Alzheimer’s.

But then my father and I were never close, though it is he who got me interested in politics and community service as he was very involved in the Latino organizations.

At the same time I grew up seeing my father physically abuse my mother and at times tried to stop him. I can’t remember my father ever saying he loved me and I know I also did not say it to him.

My father was a very masculine “macho” Latino man whose two sons turned out to be “sissies.” Needless to say to there aren’t very good memories at all for me. Why Father’s Day is difficult for me and others is we wonder if our fathers ever really loved us and to be honest if we really loved them.

My grandparents also completely changed toward me and became very cold when they found out that their grandson was a homosexual.

My message to all of you that have an accepting and loving relationship with your father, grandparents and families is to cherish them and know you are truly blessed because so many will never know and feel that unconditional love that you have. Happy Father’s Day.

Larry Kramer honored at 67^th Tony Awards

Act-Up founder and playwright Larry Kramer was honored at this past Sunday’s 67^th annual Tony Awards for his gay and AIDS activism. Well-deserved and congratulations to one of our movements most controversial and colorful leaders.

To be honest, my dealings with Larry Kramer (March on Washington and Stonewall 25) were not good ones as he threatened us on the national executive boards that his Act-Up boys would riot if he wasn’t given a speakers slot at the rallies.

Because some were afraid of Larry and his threats he got to address a rally of almost a million people and he immediately began to attack President Clinton and the first lady and use every cuss word. (We were live on C-Span.)

But I look at an activist’s life, both good and bad, and Larry Kramer has made a big difference when it comes to the issues of AIDS and gay rights.

All civil rights movements need people in the streets and in the suites of government and political power.

The truth is that Larry Kramer will go down in our GLBT history as an activist who fought the good fight in almost every breath he took.

By the way it was wonderful to see “Kinky Boots” win six Tony Awards and actor Billy Porter’s acceptance speech was fabulous.

Another friend commits suicide

Last week I received a phone call about a friend in his 50s who committed suicide. He had lost his job and house and his mother was dying from cancer. He was a wonderful man who just everyone loved and admired. As I have said so many times we all need to be more sensitive and aware of friends who are going through rough times and reach out to them and let them know that they are not alone as these continuing hard times in our country are personally affecting countless of Americans. Thank you for listening.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for more than 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico.  Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

May 29, we joined peers and pioneers in the business community at Entrepreneur Thought Leaders Live in Long Beach to get an insider’s perspective on how to navigate the latest financing solutions for businesses. Nontraditional funding opportunities have skyrocketed, helping small businesses get off the ground and making it possible for their growth plans and special projects to take off. Covestor CEO Asheesh Advani, Peerbackers co-founder Andrew Rachmell, Adstruc founder and CEO John Laramie and Entrepreneur Magazine Editor-in-Chief Amy Cosper gave valuable insights on the options available; things that business owners need to know before working with venture capitals (VC) and investors, and how to get the most out of your crowdfunding campaign(s). All four brought a unique perspective to the panel discussion and Q&A session. It was also a great networking opportunity. We met several people including the woman who created the first physical therapy mobile application.

Home of Guiding Hands

The Home of Guiding Hands (HGH) 39th annual Gala was held at the beautiful Hotel del Coronado June 1. Cocktail hour with tray passed hors d’oeuvres were offered in the garden patio from 5:30-7 p.m. Sen. Joel Anderson recognized the gala committee members for their dedication and commitment to the community.

HGH serves children, adolescents and adults with developmental disabilities in San Diego County. It provides a wide range of services for all ages: from early childhood development serving infants and toddlers; residential services for children, adolescents and adults; in-home respite serving all ages; a community living program; counseling and family support services and a variety of life programs. For more information, visit guidinghands.org

San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon and 1⁄2 Marathon

San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon and 1⁄2 Marathon brought thousands of running enthusiasts from around the world to help raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. The anticipation is felt months in advance with reminders on highways, streets and in the news. The night before as we drove around the streets of Hillcrest and made a few pit stops at Flicks, Rich’s, Numbers and Pecs, tow trucks were ready to launch at midnight. We hope none of you got your cars towed! No matter how many reminders were posted, there really is no preparation for being woken up by bands and cheers at 5 a.m. the day of, so we joined the sidelines. We had a wonderful time watching several Elvis’, Princess Leia and a row of Marilyn Monroe’s on the route. Congratulations to all the runners including our friends Memo and Manny!

Can’t take the heat? Chill out at minus5°

Minus5

We’re in Vegas right now and it’s so hot that one of our skateboard helmets melted in the car after 10 minutes. We got some relief at minus5° ice bar in Monte Carlo Resort and Casino. We’re not novices when it comes to ice; we’ve slept in the Ice Hotel in Quebec, Canada and visited Ice Kingdom in Long Beach in December. In contrast to those attractions minus5° is year round!

The entire bar is made of ice, the tables, chairs, walls and the glasses you drink from. The sculptures inside are re-vamped every 6-8 weeks so you can touch, feel, and explore these unique creations. You can’t take pictures inside so the first step after choosing your package is locking up your phone and camera.

We got the Fur Coat Package; we were fitted with a white faux fur coat and provided with boots and gloves. You also get a drink card and a token for a shot. A professional photographer is waiting inside to capture the experience. It’s literally the coolest thing to do in Las Vegas.

To view their packages and make a reservation go to: http://www.minus5experience.com/. You can also visit their other venue in Mandalay Bay.

Kristin Beck

Retired Senior Chief Kristin Beck’s book Warrior Princess was recently released about her 20 years in the Navy and the beginning of her transition from male to female. I won’t presume I can editorialize about or retell her personal story found in the pages of her book better than others have – I’m certainly not a journalist of the caliber of CNN’s Anderson Cooper, and he’s done a report on Senior Chief Beck and her book. What I’d like to comment on instead is the implications of her story on the broader movement toward open service for trans people.

One of the many arguments that were made by the LGBT public policy organizations, such the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), was that we wouldn’t want to discharge hardcore fighting corps, such as SEALS and Army Rangers, just because they were gay. America would be removing tough, smart, well-trained soldiers out of America’s special forces for a reason that had nothing to do with whether or not they were effective at doing their jobs.

That’s an effective narrative, but the LGBT community never had any former SEALS or Army Rangers it could point to and say, “And this is the kind of special forces soldier you’ll kick out of the military if they said they were gay on active duty.”

In the trans community, we do have such a soldier now. We can now point to Kristin Beck and say, “If Senior Chief Beck came out as transgender while she was in the Navy SEALS, she would have been kicked out for a reason that had nothing to do with whether or not she were effective at doing her job. Is that what America really wants?”

And is it?

Since in the past few months it was announced that women will be soon be able to serve in combat, it’s been discussed in military circles that no doubt women will be serving in special forces. Our country’s military services are going to make public accommodations for women in these combat specialties. How many more accommodations would actually be required to accommodate a trans male or trans female special operations member than it would be to accommodate a cis female special operations member?

Those are questions for a national discussion on open trans military service, and the preparatory and backend work has been set in motion for this national discussion.

As I mentioned in a previous column, there are narratives of trans Department of Defense (DOD) contractors and civilian employees who’ve recently served in Middle Eastern combat zones – narratives such as those of Nicole Shounder, Rachel Bolyard and Erika Stetson. Then there’s my narrative of changing my recorded gender in the DOD databases showing that the DOD already acknowledges that trans servicemembers and veterans exist.

Then there is OutServe-SLDN, which besides having a trans West Point graduate as its executive director and having open service for trans servicemembers as part of their mission and vision, also has funding streams for working on the issue.

With retired Senior Chief Beck publicly coming out as trans two years after she retired from the Navy, and only a little more than a year after SEAL Team 6 killed Osama Bin Laden, we’re extremely close to that national discussion on open service for trans servicemembers beginning.

And as I stated in my speech at the San Diego Pride Stonewall Rally on open military service for trans servicemembers: “We’ve come so far on LGBT military service issues, but we’ve still not achieved ordinary equality for all of us. We won on open service for lesbian, gay and bisexual servicemembers with the aid of activism of the monstrous; with hard work and perseverance we’ll win on open service for trans servicemembers because we are, as a broad LGBT community, monstrously self-empowered … monstrously powerful.

“And, as we march forward tomorrow, and the many days after tomorrow, let’s remember we shouldn’t leave anyone behind; let’s remember we shouldn’t leave the transgender servicemembers behind.”

Kristin Beck, God bless her, and her narrative of being a highly decorated SEAL has brought open service for trans servicemembers to the fore. It won’t be very much longer at all until it’s not just LGBT press talking about open service for trans people, but the American people themselves.

GSDBA Business Women’s SpeakEasy Mixer

thursday, june 13

GSDBA Business Women’s SpeakEasy Mixer

GSDBA presents a special women’s networking event featuring music from Sweet Sue (Sue Palmer) & Her Syncopaters. Special themed cocktails and wonderful appetizers await behind the secret door. Great giveaway prizes!

The Cosmopolitan Hotel & Restaurant, 2660 Calhoun Street in Old Town, 6-8 p.m., tickets $10 for GSDBA members, $25 for guests, 619-296-4543, gsdba.org

The Courage to Remember

friday, june 14

The Courage to Remember

This traveling Holocaust exhibit, produced by the Museum of Tolerance, the educational arm of the Simon Wiesenthal Center, features 200 exclusive photographs that cannot be seen anywhere else in the world, offering unique insight into the Holocaust. The public can view the exhibit free with admission to the Fair through July 4 in Grandstand East.

Del Mar Fairgrounds, 2260 Jimmy Durante Blvd. in Del Mar, 11 a.m.-11 p.m., adult admission $14, 858-755-1161, sdfair.com

Painting by Joe Duncan Gleason

saturday, june 15

Joe Duncan Gleason, California’s Marine Art Master

A sixth generation Californian, Joe Duncan Gleason, 1881-1959, was a true renaissance man. Equally adept at landscapes and portraits, he is best known for his marine and harbor scenes. The Maritime Museum of San Diego is exclusively featuring 40 inspiring Gleason paintings generously loaned to the museum from The Kelton Foundation and the artist’s family. Exhibition curator, Marcus De Chevrieux, is adding to this exhibit some personal artifacts from the Gleason family to give visitors more of the story behind this remarkable multi-talented man.

The Maritime Museum of San Diego, Gould Eddy Gallery aboard Berkeley, 1492 North Harbor Drive in

A Year With Frog And Toad

San Diego, 9 a.m.-8 p.m., adult admission $16, 619-234-9153, sdmaritime.org

sunday, june 16

A Year With Frog And Toad

This whimsical show follows two great friends – the eternally optimistic Frog and the rather grumpy Toad – through four, fun-filled seasons. Waking from hibernation in the spring, Frog and Toad plant gardens, swim, rake leaves, go sledding, eat cookies and learn life lessons along the way. These unlikely best friends come to understand it is their differences that make them unique and special. Whimsical and charming, A Year With Frog And Toad tells the story of a friendship that endures all seasons.

North Coast Rep, 987 Lomas Santa Fe Drive, Suite D in Solana Beach, 11 a.m., adult tickets $20, 858-481-1055, northcoastrep.org

monday, june 17

Origins in Space

Origins in Space

This photographic exhibition looks at the scientific accomplishments and technological spin-offs that have resulted from NASA missions. In addition to learning about some of the technological innovations, see the latest images from the Hubble Space Telescope and other missions downloaded daily via the internet and presented on a large plasma screen. So if you think space exploration is all rocket ships and space suits, you might be surprised how much “outer space” enters our lives every day!

Reuben H. Fleet Science Center, 1875 El Prado in Balboa Park, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., adult admission $11.75, 619-238-1233, rhfleet.org

tuesday, june 18

Opera Tuesday at Operacaffe

Operacaffe, located in the Gaslamp, serves up Italian arias and Neapolitan tunes along with its authentic Tuscan cuisine on the third Tuesday of each month. Combining the joy that Italians derive from food and musical artistry.

Operacaffe, 835 Fourth Ave. in San Diego, 6:30-9 p.m., entertainment is complimentary while dining, 619-234-6538, operacaffe.com

wednesday, june 19

Evolution – World Dances and Musical Movements

Becca Stevens

Closing Mainly Mozart’s Evolution series is World Dances and Musical Movements with sought-after singer/composer/guitarist Becca Stevens and the electrifying chamber ensemble, The Declassified. Following a first half set by The Declassified which includes John Adams’s engaging “ Book of Alleged Dances” in which one can hear various musical genres, including bluegrass fiddle, jazz riff and Latin rock, audiences will hear the first-ever performances of arrangements by Stephen Prutsman of some of Ms. Stevens’ unique and unclassified songs performed by Ms. Stevens and the ensemble.

The Abbey, 2825 Fifth Ave. in San Diego, 7:30 p.m., tickets from $20, 619-466-8742, mainlymozart.org

This is my 100th brief! Looking back over the lgbtweekly.com Web site, I was especially pleased to re-live certain memories, i.e. Mine is Bigger than Yours (issue 26), High School Reunion (51), What’s a Dingleberry (36) and to review my advice in Beating Around the Bush (42), De-gay or Not De-gay (81), The Size of Your Tip (30) and recent favorites Banquet Memories (117), Snow (116) and The Shame of the Unmarried (106).

Where do I get so many topics? No problem. I pay attention to what people around me are discussing and any new place or event can spark my interest. Forget the famous tourist-filled sites; I purposefully go to an unfamiliar trolley station or bus stop, walk around and invariably I run into something which draws me closer; especially people in action: repairing shoes, making tortillas, etc. It is easy to get them to open up. I just smile and say, “That’s interesting. How do you do that?” With a little encouragement, they are off and running. People love to talk about their specialty, particularly if they are used to being ignored.

With a friend driving (I sit and look pretty), we hit garage sales, open houses, street markets, fairs, art shows, school/university events plus the amateur dance, theater and music groups which can be surprisingly good.

And you? No plans today? Just TV and a nap? Give it a try. Time is short; get out and learn, see, enjoy.

As for me, I’ve got to pack my new briefs with something attention-getting. Any suggestions?

Graduation day then and now

On seeing the photos of the recent high school graduates, we seniors recall a different world.

In our day the military draft awaited the guys and the gals were to go to college to get a Mrs. or, in case of the unthinkable, a teaching certificate; blacks were to know their place and stay useful, but not uppity, and gays were to get married, keep closeted or move so as not to embarrass the family.

My graduation day memories are hazy, but I remember we sang a great “Onward Christian Soldiers” never wondering what the Jewish kids thought. The prom was obligatory for all but the hopeless. A date was somehow obtained and gays of both sexes did their best to partake of the evening’s inevitable necking ritual for as long as we could stand it before finding some excuse to get home as fast as possible. (My goodness, 11:10 already!)

As for the straights, it was the night when many a girl gave her all, so to speak; that magic night which was to be regretted by an unlucky few nine months later.

After working my usual summer job at the race track (a future article), I followed family tradition and went to the University of Maine; with no cell phone, no Internet – just my typewriter and slide rule (ask a senior).

One semester of business administration was enough. I secretly changed to theater arts; confessing all two years later when father asked why I didn’t yet know the difference between a bond and a stock.

Today’s gay and lesbian graduates face the future, as we did, filled with both trepidation and excitement, but they enter an atmosphere of openness and acceptance that was beyond our imagination.

As they head off to the great adventure, I wish them well and hope their dreams come true.

Vince Pompei is honored at the EQCA San Diego Dinner.

It was a different Carl DeMaio who announced his candidacy for the 52nd Congressional District seat recently. His life-partner Johnathan Hale was up front and by his side and he called upon the Republican Party to be “more positive and inclusive,” and that they should stay out of social issues which he said, “… are frankly none of government’s business in the first place.”

The “52nd” is considered a very moderate “swing district” with Republican registration edging out Democrats by more than 6,000 votes! The incumbent is millionaire Scott Peters who barely beat out popular Lori Saldana (who I endorsed) after outspending her 10 to 1 with ugly and negative attacks on her. Peters barely won his race over Brian Bilbray and I did not endorse either candidate. This congressional race will be one of the most watched nationally next year.

Carl DeMaio describes himself as a “new generation Republican” and I believe he has become that. If the Republican Party is going to change it badly needs members like Jerry Sanders, Ron Roberts, Bill Gore, Bonnie Dumanis, Kevin Faulconer, etc. Let’s not forget that Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell needed Republican votes to be struck down and also for the gay marriage bill to pass in New York.

DeMaio was the first elected Italian-American to our City Council since the 1930s. I hope he has a good position on immigration reform. Carl DeMaio deserves another look as hopefully one learns from life and past campaigns.

Equality California Dinner: outstanding!

For more than 45 years I’ve been going to political and civil rights dinners and this past weekend’s Equality California Dinner San Diego was outstanding and rates in my top 5 out of hundreds.

All the honorees/speakers were unbelievable and moved the audience many times to tears. Vince Pompei’s speech was remarkable and one of the best. What a champion for our youth and students. His mom, by the way, is beautiful.

Supervisor Dave Roberts, his dedicated partner Wally, their five children and Jeanette and Greg with their transgender daughter and three other teens truly equal family values. It was an honor for all of us to have these 2013 awardees introduce their families to us and share with us an example of true Christian love.

The entire ballroom gave Vince, Jeanette, Greg and Dave well-deserved and prolonged standing ovations.

ABCTV10 newsman, Michael Chen was the perfect host with the most. Assembly Leader Toni Atkins received a rousing welcome; Gary Soto, not only looked great but gave a great intro. And new EQCA Executive Director John O’Connor continues to prove why he is our best voice in the state capitol.

Bravo to Joyce Rowland and Susan Guinn who made sure we reached the $50,000 of pledges and cash that night.

Rob Lowe as Dr. Jack Startz in HBO’s Behind the Candelabra

As a past state president of Equality California I am so proud of how far we have come and sincerely thank current San Diego state board members Randy Clark, Susan Guinn and Joyce Rowland for their years of dedication and hard work that has benefitted all of us.

GSA Awards

Did you know about 40 high schools in San Diego County have Gay Straight Alliance clubs? The good people of GLSEN held their second annual GSA Awards at The Center this past Friday night and I stopped by and it was great to see almost 200 gay, lesbian, bi, trans and straight students come together and have such a good time. A special thank you to Colin Pearce and all members of GLSEN!

Immigration reform rally

Allan Spyere and I stopped by this rally held at the County Administration building on Pacific Coast Highway this past weekend and among the fiery speakers were Congressmembers Susan Davis and Juan Vargas, Mayor Bob Filner, School Board member Richard Barrera, Laurie Coskey and Enrique Morones of the Border Angels. It was a moving event and our community should know that GLBT people are also a part of the undocumented community in this country.

Liberace’s plastic surgeon and I

The recent Behind the Candelabra HBO movie about Liberace brought back some memories for me and not all good. You see, his plastic surgeon Dr. Jack Startz of Beverly Hills was also my plastic surgeon when I lived in Hollywood in the 1960s.

And what the movie didn’t tell was that Jack Startz was a phony and didn’t have a license and Liberace sued him. (Read his autobiography.)

“Dr.” Startz did one of my nose jobs and also pumped me with illegal silicone and, yes, gave me those infamous “714” Quaalude pills! And let me tell you, actor Rob Lowe was too handsome and young to play the ugly and crazy Dr. Jack Startz!

38th Nicky Awards: Aug. 25

Mark your calendar for the “Gay Academy Awards of San Diego” set for the Marriott Mission Valley with outstanding entertainment, glamour, fun and red carpet interviews, etc. More info nickyawards.com or 619-300-1212.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for more than 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

San Diego Pride

The arrival of summer signals the beginning of backyard barbecues, beach days and, of course, the season of LGBT Pride festivals. From June to November, Californians have an opportunity to show their pride and support for the LGBT community at a variety of events throughout the state, from San Diego to San Francisco. Each event promises a great time with a cornucopia of entertainment, food, vendors and more, all in support of the LGBT community.

Trying to figure out which Prides you want to attend this year? We’ve done the research on several local Prides as well as the big city events to help you decide!

LA Pride: June 7-9

Drawing more than 500,000 people to the heart of West Hollywood, LA Pride is one of the largest gay Pride festivals in the nation, and it’s just a short drive up the freeway for San Diegans.

“LA Pride strives to showcase the diversity within our community,” said Mike Strommel, a four-year board member of LA Pride. “Transgenders are a community with our own history and achievements and our own special interests and needs that celebrate our unity and acceptance into the greater community at large.”

One of the highlights of LA Pride is the fourth annual Transgender Party. This event within an event is an opportunity for the transgender community to showcase their artistic talents via performances and to network among one another.

The three day event features a Pride Run, more than 150 exhibitors and performances on the main stage by Ciara, The Pointer Sisters and Luciana. LA Pride also offers various stages to satisfy those with different musical tastes, including Latin, country, hip-hop and R&B.

The LA Pride parade, which attracts more than 400,000 participants and spectators, begins Sunday, June 9, at 11 a.m.

Tickets are on sale now for $20.

For more information, visit lapride.org

San Francisco Pride: June 29-30

Head north to the Bay Area and take part in the largest gathering in support of LGBT people in the nation, the San Francisco Pride celebration and parade.

With more than 200 parade contingents, 300 exhibitors and 20 entertainment stages, this event has earned its bragging rights.

According to the their Web site, “Pride has come to symbolize several things: the long history of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer dignity; the freedom of all people to meaningfully and proudly express their sexual and gender identities and the commitment of LGBT people to combating oppression.”

This year, San Francisco is celebrating its 43rd annual Pride with a theme of “Embrace, Encourage, Empower.” The parade begins Sunday, June 30, at 10:30 a.m.

Performers on the main stage include Raquel Rodriguez, Nina Sky and Lovesick Radio.

Although the event is free, a $5 suggested donation helps support several Bay Area non-profits.

For more information, visit sfpride.org

San Diego Pride: July 12-14

If you would prefer to stay close to home, come celebrate and show your support at San Diego LGBT Pride in Hillcrest. The theme of this 39th annual Pride celebration is “Freedom to Love and Marry” honoring the state of the movement in this historic year for LGBT equality.

“I hope people enjoy the weekend as an opportunity to get together as a community, have a good time and take pride in how far we’ve come,” said Stephen Whitburn, San Diego Pride general manager. “It’s also an opportunity for us to be visible in the broader community as we keep working to end discrimination.”

The event kicks off with a rally and the annual raising of the Rainbow Pride Flag Friday, July 12. Following these formalities, the party moves into high gear for guests 21 and up with a DJ-filled block party on University Avenue from 6-11 p.m.

Saturday’s Pride parade, which attracts about 200,000 people and is the fourth largest in the nation, begins at 11 a.m. and winds down University and Sixth Avenues.

The Pride festival in Balboa Park is a two-day event featuring entertainment headliners, DJ Morgan Page and R&B singer Monica, and a total of eight music stages. San Diego Pride also boasts the first and longest-running Children’s Garden.

“San Diego Pride is a charitable nonprofit organization,” Whitburn said. “We provide tens-of-thousands of dollars each year to organizations that provide services in our community. The Pride festival is our biggest source of revenue to provide those much-needed dollars.”

To help support the community, buy your festival tickets in advance for just $15.

For more information or to buy tickets, visit sdpride.org

South Bay Pride: Sept. 14

Chula Vista is home to the South Bay Pride Art and Music Festival, a smaller and newer event. Created in 2006 and managed by the South Bay Alliance, it began as an effort to bring attention to the LGBT community in South San Diego.

“When broached about Proposition 22, (the local politicians) claimed this was not an issue for them since the LGBT community was in Hillcrest,” explained South Bay Pride chair, Dae Elliott. “We knew better. We knew that there was, and still is, a large LGBT community here, as well as many allies.”

South Bay Pride offers a more laidback and intimate setting compared to the big city festivals. With an expected attendance of 2,000 people, it feels more like a neighborhood hangout than a huge party.

“We had a couple from Riverside attend our 2010 Pride event,” said Elliott. “They said they had been attending since the beginning of Pride events (they were in their 70s) and they stated our Pride event was one of the best ones that they had ever attended.”

San Diego Pride

The one day event features live entertainment, art, food, a wine/beer garden, a children’s garden and more! The festivities begin at noon at Bayfront Park and the event is free.

For more information, visit southbayalliance.net

Pride@The Beach: Oct. 12

Join Pride@The Beach in Oceanside and keep the celebration going in North County. Created in 2008, this festival has steadily grown from 800 attendees in its first year to 4,000 in 2012.

Located directly across from the beach, the setting for this fun-filled event is hard to beat. With a combination of up-and-coming performers, food, vendors and activities for the kids, this is a day of fun for the whole family and a great way to show support for the LGBT community.

“North County San Diego tends to be much more conservative than the areas surrounding downtown, so this event gives those who may not have the financial means to go down to San Diego, as well as those who may have unsupportive families, an opportunity to be surrounded by the LGBTQ community in a very proud, supportive way,” said Pride@The Beach director, John Jones.

Tickets are $5 and military are free.

For more information, visit northcountypride.com

South Bay Pride

Palm Springs Pride: Nov. 2-3

To wind up the LGBT Pride festival season travel to the desert for the Greater Palm Springs Pride. Since 1969, people have flocked to this oasis for an exciting weekend in support of the LGBT community.

This year’s theme, “It’s Time,” represents “new hope, new beginnings and future progress toward equality,” according to the Palm Springs Pride Web site.

Located at Pride Park, the festival highlights include more than 60 performances, a country dancing tent, a farmer’s market, 150 exhibitors and an array of food and drinks.

The event features a block party downtown Saturday, Nov. 2 at 6 p.m. and the Pride parade Sunday, Nov 3 at 10 a.m.

Price is $15 per day or $25 for the weekend. Tickets go on sale in late September.

For more information, visit pspride.org

(Top L-R) Snapper Humphries and Kyle Escobar (Bottom L-R) Denmark and Demirae

Inaugurated in the United States in the early 20th century, Father’s Day is traditionally celebrated in the majority of countries the third Sunday in June.

According to The Library of Congress the idea for Father’s Day is attributed to Sonora Dodd, who was raised by her father after her mother’s death during childbirth. Ironically, it was while she was attending church on Mother’s Day that she thought that fathers should have a day too. The first Father’s Day was celebrated in Spokane in 1910.

Founded to complement Mother’s Day, the day is designed to be a celebration of fatherhood and male parenting and in honor of fathers everywhere San Diego LGBT Weekly reached out to the LGBT community to find out the meaning of Father’s Day.

(L-R) John Armantrout, Mike Moreno Armantrout, Tristion Armantrout Moreno, Larry Moreno

Former San Diego resident, Jack Mellman, now living in Phoenix has fond memories of his father and the fact that he was so supportive of him being gay.

“Part of what Father’s Day means to me is found in the deep appreciation I have for my own father who was very much a sports guy, having been a lightweight boxer himself back in the 1920s. “Whenever I had a gay relationship fail I would call him and he would say to me, ‘It will be OK, you can come back to your room at home.’ He was always a wonderful host when I would bring my partners over for dinner or for holidays. He was so gracious in that respect,” recalls Mellman. “I feel so blessed to have had a sports guy father and a sports guy son/Marine who were accepting of my being gay. Love should come from family, and in my case I was very fortunate.”

Dave Fenn, a single gay dad from San Diego loves Father’s Day as his kids make him feel very special. “Father’s Day is my most favorite personal date; like a birthday. I look forward to it because it’s my day and my kids make sure that I have the best day ever,” said Fenn.

Dave Fenn with twins Ashley (left) and Afton (right)

Fenn says his children have always been supportive of him even during some very difficult periods of his life. “My kids are very supportive of me,” said Fenn.” They understand and support my life and what I want and my hopes and my dreams. It was trying in the beginning because my ex-wife is a Mormon and she didn’t want me to have anything to do with my kids in the beginning when I came out. She has kinda warmed to the idea now.”

According to Fenn, his kids have changed his attitude to life and his priorities. “In the past I’ve dated men and my kids have all come to like the person I’m with. My two younger kids don’t like that I’m alone and don’t have anyone but I assure them that they come first and there is always time for dating and a relationship later in life. They all come first for me. And some of the guys in the gay community don’t understand that,” explains Fenn.

Over in the South Bay, Snapper Humphries and partner Kyle who just last week took their two kids Denmark and Demirae to Disneyland summed up what Father’s Day means to them, “Father’s Day to us,” said Humphries, “is having fun with our little ones and acknowledging the honor and privilege of being called ‘Daddy’!”

Roper and Raleigh (Dave Fenn’s youngest kids)

San Diego resident Barbara Van Epps recalls Father’s Day in her household was very much all about dad. “My brother and I would simply honor my dad’s financial, familial and horticultural contributions by showering him with homemade meals and a stack of Hallmark cards,” said Van Epps.

After growing up in a difficult environment and subsequently suffering the stigma of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, John Armantrout from San Diego sees Father’s Day as a very special life-affirming day.

“I grew up in an environment that said I wasn’t ‘normal’ and I wasn’t going to be able to have a ‘normal’ life,” said Armantrout. “I then went into the Navy and was told that I was a second-class citizen under years of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and wasn’t welcome if I tried to be myself. Then, I found Larry and we found our miracles – and adopted Mike and Tristion. Now, we have the title ‘Dad’ and ‘Papa.’ We have each other and our family. I am exactly who I was created to be and where I am supposed to be. And Father’s Day is an affirmation of my life – a celebration to say ‘thanks for being you, Dad’ – with no judgment.”

President Barack Obama once said that being a dad is sometimes his hardest job, but also the most rewarding; experiencing those precious moments with our children that fill us with pride and excitement for their future.

But after the gifts of socks and after shave have been opened, the meals are done and the phone calls made its worth remembering that the true meaning of Father’s Day is acknowledging the huge contribution of fathers everywhere and to truly celebrate the importance of male parenting. Happy Father’s Day, June 16.

Dustin Lance Black receives Harvey Milk Award Photo: Big Mike

Good morning San Diego. Buenos dias me compadres y comadres. Let us take this time to pause and remember our fellow Americans who recently lost their lives in Oklahoma … thank you.

You know, to look over this massive hotel ballroom this morning is indeed something in itself … as in the 1960s and early 1970s hotels in San Diego refused to host homosexual events and today this homosexual hosted event has drawn more than 1,200 San Diegans from all walks of life.

In 1974, the City of San Diego refused to issue a Gay Pride march permit and we still marched without it. Next year, it will be our Pride’s 40th anniversary and the parade is now our city’s biggest parade of the year.

In the 1970s, homosexuals were not allowed to be issued liquor licenses. Our bars were raided, patrons arrested on trumped up charges and San Diego Police and Sheriff’s officers constantly harassed and beat up homosexuals. This morning, Sheriff Gore has joined us for breakfast and there are dozens of openly gay and lesbian police officers.

In the 1960s, ‘70s and ‘80s gay bars and events were officially off limits to all military personnel in San Diego. This morning, this breakfast hosted an official Navy color guard.

In the 1970s and early ‘80s many businesses and people were not happy with gays and lesbians moving into Hillcrest. Now, we have one of the largest GLBT community centers in the nation; a fabulous huge Rainbow Flag; and we dedicated the first Harvey Milk Street in the nation and Hillcrest was voted one of the best neighborhoods in America.

Until 1976, homosexuals under California law could be and were sent to state mental hospitals and given electric shock treatment, just by the signature of their parents or a judge. Today, the speaker of the California state Assembly is a gay Latino man and the majority leader is our very own Toni Atkins.

And after centuries of discrimination, now, openly gay Boy Scouts will be allowed to become members. But we will continue the fight until gay parents and adults are allowed to be Scout masters.

In 1977, Harvey Milk was elected the first openly gay official in California. He became our leader in the fight against the homophobia and hate of Anita Bryant and John Briggs. But he wasn’t just a gay rights advocate; he stood up for seniors, equality for women, the small business owner and became friends with Cesar Chavez; and Harvey stood up against the horrific treatment of California farm workers who were mostly of Mexican and Filipino descent; and in the 1970s Cesar Chavez became the first major civil rights leader to support gay rights and spoke at a national gay and lesbian march on Washington.

I truly believe if Harvey Milk were alive today he would stand up for Planned Parenthood. Harvey would speak out for true immigration reform that includes gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender people.

I believe that Harvey would speak out about the more than three million children who go to bed hungry every night … about homelessness in America … and Harvey, who was proud to be a Navy veteran, would have spoken out about the 22 veterans a day who commit suicide and our nation’s treatment of all our veterans.

Terry Bean, Stuart Milk and former Oregon governor, Barbara Roberts Photo: Big Mike

And at this time would all the veterans in the room please stand up so we can acknowledge your great service to our nation.

And yes, most certainly Harvey Milk would have been on the forefront of marriage equality and he would have spoken up for Roger Gorley of Kansas who last month was arrested at a hospital for just trying to see his life partner of five years. His partner’s family had Roger arrested, handcuffed and forcibly removed from the hospital as they did not recognize or accept their committed relationship.

Yes, we still have a long road ahead of us but be assured that our fight for equality is indeed the civil rights movement of the 21st century and history is on our side.

I’ve seen some very dark times in our fight for equality but, yet personally, I still believe that I’ve been blessed all these decades to have been a witness to the growth and visibility of both my beloved Latino and GLBT communities.

Yes, the Golden State is truly turning brown … and rainbow flags are waving in every city across California.

The torch of gay activism has indeed been passed onto a new generation of GLBT activists and I have hope because of our youth and students coming out of their closets in middle school and junior high; because of the growing chapters of the Gay Straight Alliances; because of Gays For Good volunteers; they are all helping to create a new America.

This morning, you will be hearing from four great Americans. Gov. Barbara Roberts, a long standing straight ally and friend.

Terry Bean, a true gay trailblazer and hero who founded the Victory Fund and the Human Rights Campaign.

Stuart Milk, the nephew of Harvey Milk and a global human rights advocate in his own right.

And, Dustin Lance Black, a new leader and equality activist for the 21st century.

And so I thank you all in this room for celebrating with us Harvey Milk’s birthday. You’ve made this old cha cha queen very happy.

Matt Stephens, Amber Stephens and Dr. Dolores Jacobs Photo: Big Mike

Sí se puede.

God bless you all.

Nicole Murray Ramirez is the founder and co-chair of the annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast.

Ask a Hillary Clinton supporter why we need her in 2016 and you’ll likely hear how difficult it will be for Democrats to win in 2016, and how important the election will be. I agree, but think they are missing an even stronger argument for a Clinton candidacy on both counts — 2020.

Winning a third consecutive term in the White House isn’t easy for either party, as Al Gore and John McCain proved, but it’s hardly unprecedented. George H. W. Bush did it in 1988, as did Herbert Hoover before him. (I didn’t say it was always a good idea.)

Unprecedented would be two Democratic presidents consecutively serving 8 year terms. The only time Democrats have held the White House for more than 12 consecutive years was when Franklin D. Roosevelt won four elections on his own, with Harry Truman adding one more for a total of 20 years. Republicans have twice held the presidency for more than 12 years, most recently from 1897 to 1913 with William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt and William Howard Taft; but they have never done it with only two presidents. Only the Democratic-Republicans were able to elect presidents to consecutive eight year terms, and that was with Founding Fathers Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and James Monroe.

If the economy continues to improve through 2016, and none of the Benghazi-IRS-Associated Press investigations gain traction, I can imagine any number of candidates being elected by a comfortable electorate to what would amount to a third Obama term. But a fourth in 2020? The best candidate for re-election would be one who ran on her own historic terms in 2016 and won’t have to awkwardly step out of Obama’s shadow mid-presidency.

With regard to seeking an unprecedented fourth term, the same things that set Clinton apart for 2016 put her further ahead of the field when considering 2020.

Just as a generic Democrat might win in 2016 if things are generally going well, he might also be sufficient to capitalize on the important issues of 2016. A President Biden, Cuomo, or O’Malley could continue Obama’s progressive executive decisions, and perhaps reverse some of the less transparent policies. Each would have the same chance to reshape the Supreme Court, if aging Justices like Scalia (77) and Kennedy (76) can’t or won’t hold out another four years for a Republican to nominate their successor. Each would presumably find his legislative agenda stalled until they can break the Republican hold on the House of Representatives.

Which brings me to what makes 2020 more important than 2016 – the census. As we learned in 2010, census years are critical to control of the House of Representatives. After the Tea Party wave, Republicans not only took control of the House, but were able to use their gains in state legislatures to cement their advantage through post census redistricting.

2020 will be the first and best chance for Democrats to reverse those gains, and they will need to win at both the Congressional and state level to do so. Given the underlying bias against Democrats in geographic voter distribution, they will need a candidate with coattails into outer suburbs and rural areas, particularly in states like Ohio, Pennsylvania and Florida, that voted for President Obama but have majority Republican congressional delegations and state legislatures.

They also will need to appeal to independent and even Republican women. In short, Democrats need Hillary Clinton, who won the 2008 Democratic primaries in all the states mentioned, and is viewed positively by 65 percent of independents and 45 percent of Republican women. No one else really comes close.

All of this assumes that Clinton decides to run at all. If she does, I doubt it will be because she needs us. It will be because she thinks we need her. If I had five minutes to convince her, I’d spend less time on how she could make history in 2016, and more on how she could make history again, and cement a legacy, in 2020.

But since she’s Hillary Clinton, she probably knows that already.

Nate Nicholson in the exhibition Through our lens: personal stories of mental illness. Photo of displayed work: Ana Pines

We went to Queen Bee’s Art and Cultural Center May 16 to view the exhibit, Through our lens: personal stories of mental illness. The event by Meeting Place Clubhouse featured 28 photographs and artwork from fourteen of its members. Guests enjoyed complimentary tray passed hors d’oeuvres and drinks along with the powerful art that was displayed throughout. There were also several performances on stage to entertain the crowd.

The exhibit coincided with Mental Health Month to bring awareness to the stigma of mental illness. Statistically one out of every four adults in the United States will be affected by a mental illness at some point in their lives. Fundraising shirts were sold that said, “It’s pronounced… [MEN. tl IL . nis] n. NOT [KREY.zee] adj. on the back and had four figures with one colored green and the phrase, “One in four” on the front.

One side of the room displayed the photos of the participants, posed in a way that expressed their feelings in regards to how they’re treated by others. Nate Nicholson wore a mask in his photograph to express how he felt like a monster when his boss called him “crazy” after finding out about his mental illness. These photos were displayed in black and white.

On the other side of the room the photos were of participants smiling, in color and expressed stories of who they are, not how others judge them. In Orlando Chavez’ photograph, he wrote about meeting his friend Matt at the Clubhouse and how their friendship grew. He then stated, “I have schizophrenia and I am a good friend.”

The Meeting Place is a place for adults with a diagnosed mental health disorder to join their peers and make use of their strengths, talents and abilities. For more information go to: themeetingplaceinc.org

National Comedy Theatre cast. Photo: National Comedy Theatre

The National Comedy Theatre celebrated being the longest continuously running show in the history of San Diego Saturday May 18 with their 3,823rd show. Triple Espresso, who had performed 3,822 performances in 11 years, previously held the title. In honor of this milestone, Chairman Greg Cox and the members of San Diego County Board of Supervisors proclaimed May 18 National Comedy Theatre Day.

The style of the show is similar to “Whose line is it anyway.” The audience is engaged throughout the show and is asked to provide topics, songs, events in history and random information that pertains to the “game” that is chosen. The comedians are split into two teams, competing against each other. The results are the most random of topics being acted out, sung or mimed.

That night, one of the games played was called “magic.” The audience was asked for something you were told as a child not to do, a headline about a current celebrity and a saying or phrase you might see on a bumper sticker. They then mixed “Don’t lie,” “Kim Kardashian is pregnant” and “Be Here Now” in a Gregorian chant. After both teams have competed in a segment the audience is then asked to clap and cheer for their favorite crew to determine who the winner is. At the end of each game the team with the most points wins. It’s a great show that can be enjoyed by all ages.

Be sure to arrive early, as street parking can be tough. You’ll definitely have a good laugh but as we experienced, we can’t promise you a Kardashian-free evening. They also offer classes, kids and teen camps and an unrated night on Saturday evenings. For more information about NCT go to nationalcomedy.com.

Jacob Rostovsky

One of the things that has propelled the gay community forward through the years has been its nonprofits, and community support for these organizations. The HRC, for example, began as a gay specific civil rights organization that was supported by members of the lesbian and gay community, and after decades of work the organization began having national legislative wins.

But beyond civil rights wins, moving the gay and lesbian equality movement forward took development of an educated class of community members that could change how gays and lesbians were perceived by other professionals and society at large. An example of this would be the Health Professionals Advancing LGBT Equality (previously known as the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, or GLMA) that describes their own history this way:

“Over the past three decades, GLMA has tackled many initiatives and projects. Early on, GLMA focused on HIV/AIDS and the issues faced by physicians coming out at work. As the climate and culture have changed, GLMA has become a leader in public policy advocacy related to LGBT health.”

We’ve had HIV/AIDS nonprofits through the years that LGBT community members have participated in funding. These included not only nonprofits providing funding for finding treatments and cures, but nonprofits that provided services for those with HIV/AIDS. Pets Are Wonderful Support (PAWS) San Diego began as an organization that helped those who were ill with AIDS keep their pets by providing pet food and veterinary assistance, and has expanded to cover many more than just those with AIDS.

We even have a nonprofit that specifically gave scholarships to outstanding gay and lesbian graduate students: The Point Foundation. The Point Foundation began as a gay and lesbian scholarship program, and then expanded their mission to include the rest of the LGBT community. Joelle Ruby Ryan is an example of a trans Point scholar – she was among the first trans scholars.

Jacob Rostovsky, is a 22-year-old transgender male, a current student, and a current Point Foundation scholar. On a GoFundme.com webpage (gofundme.com/transunited), Rostovsky recently began crowd-funding a relatively new nonprofit called Trans United with Family and Friends (TUFF). He stated that the organization “needs help getting its 501c and raising money for supplies to outreach to the community.” He describes this nonprofit as follows:

“What is TUFF? TUFF is a non-profit organization, based in Los Angeles that gives financial assistance to transgender and gender variant individuals that can be used toward the cost of transition and medical needs. The money is distributed on an as-needed basis. Recipients must apply for an award, and are chosen based on their financial need, personal, social and advocacy goals for the future.

“Who can apply for funds? Anyone who identifies along the transgender/gender variant spectrum, regardless of their financial needs. Applicants must fill out an application form that requires them to provide information about their medical transition history and financial needs. They must also submit two essays that ask about their future goals and involvement within the transgender/gender variant community.”

Rostovsky’s plans for the money he crowd-funds with his current effort is to pay his travel and administrative costs as he begins the process getting the nonprofit off the ground. He’s currently been trying to do this out of pocket, but he reports that as a student with student related expenses, he’s having difficulty funding the initial outreach efforts for his nonprofit.

His goals are modest with his crowd-funding endeavor: he’s only seeking $2,000. As of this writing, he’s raised about $735.

June is going to be a “tuff” month for me financially, but I’m donating $50 to help get his organization off the ground. It sounds like a good idea to me, and Rostovsky sounds motivated to make this nonprofit happen.

Every large nonprofit started as an idea, and most of these started out as small organizations, often with not much more than an executive director and a few folk who believed in that man or woman.

I believe in Rostovsky’s idea, and have at least $50 in faith in that man who wants to make that idea become reality.

Call it an investment in hope, and an investment in someone who’s expressing love toward his self-identified community.

I may be treading into dangerous territory here. I know this is a family oriented magazine, but as a topic this is something my loyal fans can sink their teeth into.

My years in Japan often left me in the dark as to newly coined slang words. I was aware of the many meanings of nuts and friends far more familiar than I with sin and degradation had acquainted me with the usage of the word fluff as it applies to an alleged occupation in the world of cinematography, but one surely not to be found in an IRS jobs description list.

To me, fluff always meant something light and airy; it had nothing to do with anything sticky and gooey, so when a friend announced he was coming over with some fluffer nutters and asked if I preferred smooth or with nuts, I blindly chose with. Further confusion ensued when trying for further clarification, I enquired as to how many and he said, “A couple of regulars and two with cherries.” He then finished with, “You won’t be able to keep your hands off them, but remember the cherries are mine.” Shocked and bewildered my mind reeled with wild possibilities.

When they finally arrived, I realized what I’d been missing. A new world of sin and forbidden fruits, so to speak, opened up. To hell with my diet. The treats were a delicious concoction of marshmallow fluff and peanut butter … who knew? It was like discovering s’mores all over again.

So family concerns or not … go ahead, let the kids have some.

Keys to your kingdom

Nestling (alone) in my queen-size bed (please, no cracks … it’s too easy), I was awakened at 2 a.m. by the ear-shattering blare of a siren a few feet from my window and a few seconds later it was joined by a second creating a tumult that could only be proclaiming the Second Coming.

I leapt, sort of, to the window to view the heavenly descent. Alas, I was dismayed to see a drunken neighbor with a quartet of police officers.

From what I could hear, it seems after tearing up the patio garden, he had called 911. He claimed someone had stolen the spare house key from its clever sanctuary under a plastic “fool the burglar” rock. Actually, the police car’s flashing red light was being reflected in the rock’s cheap, shiny surface and it was slyly winking at me.

Mr. Drunk couldn’t find it because he was trying to enter the look-alike town house beside his. The hullabaloo soon ended after an irate onlooker kindly shouted, “Next door, asshole!”

All this has reminded me of my duty to nag you all about your spare key. It is amazing how many people do not have one. And what pitiful excuses: I’m getting one soon. They cost too much. I’ll never need it. etc.

How foolish. You might as well not get fire insurance because you are never going to have a fire. Equally foolish are those who hide it under the obvious welcome mat and flower pot.

Get at least three keys; hide one in a really secret place, give another to a friend in your building and yet another to an outside friend. This will put your mind at rest. You can enter if you lose your key and more importantly in an emergency, which at our age we are likely to have, someone can get into your apartment quickly without taking a long time getting permission to break down the door.

Entrance to Azalea Park

City Heights is a diverse community of San Diego stretching from El Cajon Blvd. to the north and freeway 94 to the south. Previously known for neglect and urban blight, the district is presently in a state of revitalization with the infusion of new commercial developments, parks and street improvements

Atop a plateau and three miles east of San Diego bay is the secluded and canyon-laced neighborhood of City Heights known as Azalea Park.

Formerly known as Lexington Park, Azalea Park was originally a real estate sub-division. In the 1980s, the Lexington Park Neighborhood Association opted to take the name Azalea Park. This tight-knit neighborhood consists primarily of smaller homes with a scattering of light commercial and multi-family dwellings.

There are two conveniently located parks which make it ideal for young families with kids. Featured in Azalea Community Park is a water conservation garden displaying unique art and water conscious landscaping. In February of this year, Councilmember Marti Emerald presented a City Proclamation to the Azalea Park Neighborhood Association recognizing the water conservation garden along with their extended community efforts.

In 1981 the reform of Azalea Park began. Increased police presence and community watch programs began in an effort to clean up the streets and increase property values. Residents got together to walk the streets and parks at night in an effort to monitor illegal activities occurring within their neighborhood.

In July of 1993, with the entry of the first float in the San Diego Pride Parade, the vicinity was introduced to the gay community. With hand painted banners, residents and supporters of Azalea Park marched enthusiastically in an effort to attract the LGBT community to the up and coming neighborhood. It worked! CNN carried news of the effort to the nation, and by 2003, there were more than 100 gay households in Azalea Park.

Sporadically placed throughout the community are hand-carved wood banners representing the streets named after varying plants. Completed by artist Tom Benson, there are 38 featured pieces of art which are well worth a look.

Situated just north of the immediate neighborhood is the award winning City Heights Urban Village consisting of a community gymnasium, Mid-City Police Substation and a public library. Authentic ethnic restaurants and markets also line the main corridors offering taste treats for the most exotic of pallets.

Offering vast canyon views, easy access to downtown and Balboa Park, and community oriented residents, Azalea Park is still one of the most affordable communities within the City of San Diego, featuring properties ranging from $149,000 to $377,000 for a detached home.

Ron Monigold is a Certified Residential Real Estate Appraiser and a California Licensed Real Estate agent. He is a member of the National, California, and San Diego Association of Realtors. You can reach Ron at The Metropolitan Group at 619-990-4631 or at ronmetro@cox.net. DRE Licence #01865841.

Chris Ward and Thom Harpole

Many of us in the GLBT community are very lucky indeed as we have two families: one we are born with and one we choose.

Sadly, for me and many others it is only our chosen family that sustains us; my grandparents, father and many family members pushed me away because I was gay.

Many of my friends are like brothers to me (my one and only brother and I are not close) and I’ve mentored and become close to many gay, lesbian and trans young people and they have become like children to me (calling me mom) and many are now grown. My cat, Nixon, is also like my child.

Every Mother’s Day I am blessed to get so many, many calls, cards, emails etc. But this past Mother’s Day, I was taken out to brunch by my newest daughter, Bronwyn Ingram (first lady of San Diego) and Mayor Bob Filner who gave me a beautiful rosary.

Yes, I am grateful for my loving mother but also to my beloved chosen family. Indeed I am so very blessed.

Gay for Good… thank you!

Did you know that every month GLBT San Diegans and friends quietly and without publicity volunteer throughout our city for countless causes and non-profit agencies.

They’re called Gay For Good and their goal is to get us out of our “gayborhoods” and raise our exposure throughout San Diego by performing community services.

Last week, Allan Spyere and I joined them for two hours of volunteering and “packaging” at the San Diego Food Bank. These GLBT volunteers are mostly young people (I was one of a few seniors) and are wonderful and such real role models for us all.

It was my honor to join them. By the way, did you know that the San Diego Food Bank provides food for thousands of children on weekends through 34 schools! A big thank you to Barbara Moreno, Jeff Fleming, Ian Johnson, John Greenwell, Robin Rigby and everyone at gayforgood.org

Chris Ward to run for City Council

Chris Ward is a recipient of both a GSDBA Foundation and an Imperial Court Harvey Milk/NMR Student Sponsorship. He went to Harvard and got a master’s degree in Public Policy and Urban Planning and returned back to San Diego to serve his city and community.

Chris has served as a “key advisor” to Donna Frye, Lori Saldaña, Mike Aguirre, Bonnie Dumanis and now is the chief of staff to popular state Sen. Marty Block.

While Chris Ward may not be well known to some in the GLBT community (he is on the board of the Human Dignity Foundation and recently got appointed to the GLBT Historic Task Force/San Diego ) he and his lifelong partner Thom Harpole are homeowners in University Heights and are anxiously awaiting their first adopted child.

Gay For Good at the San Diego Food Bank

Chris is looking at running for City Council District 3 and others being mentioned are Stephen Whitburn, Anthony Bernal and Laurie Cosky.

GLBT monument at Pride Flag

Those hard-working people at the Hillcrest Business Association who brought you our fabulous Rainbow Flag in Hillcrest along with the Lambda Archives are now establishing a community history monument, by top landscape architect Michael Brennan, at the flag’s base which is great.

Yes, and you could be a part of it and get your name forever on a tile or the base of the monument. Info: hillcrestbia.org

Viagra® tea at Bamboo Lounge

Yes, you read right, there is now a Viagra-like all-natural tea on sale at Bamboo Lounge (1475 University Ave.) and all my friends tell me it really works! By the way, now every second Sunday at Bamboo Lounge is Bear Tea Blast… check it out!

Mark your calendar: VIP dates!

Saturday, June 1: Equality California San Diego Dinner, The Prado, 6 p.m.

Saturday, June 8: San Diego Human Dignity Foundation’s Reunion Party, 6:30 p.m.

Thursday, June 20: GSDBA Business Awards Luncheon, Sheraton Mission Valley, 11:30 a.m.

Saturday, June 29: Annual Frida Fiesta at The Center, 6 p.m.

Tuesday, July 2: The Bayard Rustin Civil Rights Honor, The Center, 6 p.m.

Sunday, Aug. 25: 38th Annual Nicky Awards, Marriott Mission Valley

Saturday, Oct. 19: The LGBT Center’s 40th anniversary, The Center Gala, 6 p.m.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for more than 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

SAN DIEGO – The Gay Men’s Spiritual Retreat (GMSR) has announced that  its annual retreat, to take place at majestic Camp Stevens in the mountains of Julian, Calif., will be June 7-9.  This retreat promises a weekend full of exciting outdoor activities, spiritual and self-help workshops, dancing and entertainment.

For the past 21 years, the Gay Men’s Spiritual Retreat has worked to foster a spiritual community among gay men in San Diego.  “GMSR was created to empower gay men to find and embrace their own spirituality,” said Michael Hubbard, co-chair of GMSR 2013.

When founder Dave Smith was asked why GMSR was created he said, “We started the organization to have workshops for gay men who had to face day to day issues of being gay.”

Registration is now open at gmsr.org for the retreat.

The retreat historically sells out each year.

Dustin Lance Black as featured on the cover of May 8 Echo magazine

Yes, the annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast set for next Friday, May 24 is sold out! More than 1,200 tickets have been sold, which will make this the biggest breakfast/lunch/dinner event in the history of our GLBT community in San Diego.

Gov. Barbara Roberts and Academy award winner, the handsome Dustin Lance Black (author of the play 8) will be the major keynote speakers and 2013 honorees.

As the founder and co-chair of this civil rights event (along with my co-chairs, City Commissioner Robert Gleason and Dr. Delores Jacobs) I wish to thank everyone for their continuing support, especially the staff and volunteers of The LGBT Center. See you at the Breakfast.

Private reception set for Thursday night

With more than 1,200 people in one room it will be pretty hard to meet and talk to the Harvey Milk Breakfast 2013 honorees, Gov. Barbara Roberts, Dustin Lance Black and Stuart Milk. So, on the evening before, Thursday, May 23 there will be a private invitation-only reception at the Weiss family estate sponsored by the Harvey Milk Foundation and the GLBT Historic Task Force and hosted by Mayor Bob Filner and his first lady, Bronwyn Ingram. A donation for the Milk Foundation is being requested. For further information: 619-692-1967.

Why is the Tea Party nonprofit?

Let’s see now, the Red Cross, United Way, community centers, etc., etc. are all nonprofits and to me the real “IRS scandal” is that Tea Party organizations get to have nonprofit status. Bullcrap, everyone knows that the Tea Party organizations are political and right wing groups. They should never receive any nonprofit status.

About Jose Julio Sarria

Many of you have been asking me about the ongoing health problems of 91-year-old World War II veteran and gay icon Jose Julio Sarria, who in 1961 became the first openly gay candidate to run for public office in North America.

Jose, in 1965, also founded the International Court System which has chapters in more than 68 cities in the U.S.A., Canada and Mexico. The Imperial Courts are like the gay Shriners or Elks, and in 2007 Jose stepped down and I became this international organization’s chairman and executive director.

Well, Jose is not doing well so I ask you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Going to L.A.

The Great Gatsby

Well, this weekend I’m off to Los Angeles for Harvey Milk Day events with the mayors of L.A., Long Beach and West Hollywood.

It’s great that Harvey’s birthday is now an officially recognized day in California (signed into law by then Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger) and that so many cities celebrate it with numerous events.

And in the future, I see a postage stamp and naval vessel in honor of Harvey Milk as I read my tea leaves!

Nicky Awards: Aug. 25

The Nicky Awards have been called the gay Academy awards of San Diego by the mainstream media and hailed by the governor of California as one of the oldest GLBT awards ceremonies on the West Coast.

Now, with more than three decades of honoring outstanding achievement in the GLBT community, the 2013 Nicky Awards will be presented Sunday, Aug. 25 and, once again, Allan Spyere is the producer and president of the board of governors. Part of this year’s proceeds will benefit The LGBT Community Center. For information: 619-300-1232 or nickyawards.com

The Great Gatsby is fabulous

As someone who has read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel and seen the Robert Redford and Mia Farrow version of The Great Gatsby this 2013 movie gets five stars and a big fabulous. I love this movie!

Leonardo DiCaprio deserves at least an Academy award nomination.

According to recent surveys, this film is a big hit with older movie patrons (older than 25); and let me tell you it’s one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen.

These people are not just rich but super billionaires and live like ones.

Go see it and tell me what you think, my darlings.

Bob Filner

I have three words for Republicans regarding the 2012 mayoral election, “Sorry ‘bout it.”

For those not in the know, “Sorry ‘bout it” is the latest gay way of expressing faux sympathy. With the right intonation, it makes it clear that you’re not remotely sorry, they probably brought it on themselves, and you’re having at least a bit of Schadenfreude. It perfectly sums up my feelings toward those who want to mount a recall of Mayor Bob Filner, for a number of reasons.

You picked the wrong candidate – sorry ‘bout it. District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis had executive experience and the support of Mayor Sanders. Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher had enthusiasm and a compelling personal story. Both could have appealed to moderates in the general election. Instead, you needlessly endorsed the furthest right candidate in the primary, sending moderates to the Filner camp or their couches, and eventually sending Fletcher to the Democratic Party. Sorry ‘bout that, too.

You don’t get to choose your electorate – Sorry ‘bout it. Councilmember Carl DeMaio was probably the right candidate for 2010. Unfortunately for you, San Diego picks its mayor in presidential election years, which likely did help Filner. But fair’s fair. There are seats held by Republicans at least in part because they come up in off year elections when progressive turn out falls off (County Supervisorial District 4 comes to mind).

Still, there are things you can do at the local level to combat the national trends, and on those measures you got outhustled. Whatever the Comprehensive Pension Reform initiative did to buff your voter lists was dwarfed by what progressive groups were able to do with the groundwork laid by Jess Durfee and the Democratic Party, as evidenced by across the board victories including Supervisor Dave Roberts and Congressman Scott Peters.

You’ve got no cause for a recall – sorry ‘bout it. Recalls were meant for people who committed a crime, or at least pulled a major bait and switch on the electorate, like the one Gov. Scott Walker pulled on the people of Wisconsin. Despite his sudden embrace of a far right agenda that he rarely discussed as a candidate, the recall effort against Walker failed. Polling suggested that moderates, and even some liberals, disliked his actions but did not feel they warranted a recall.

Yes, Gov. Gray Davis was successfully recalled, but more for positioning himself so firmly in the political center that both sides abandoned him. Four years removed, I don’t even hear many conservatives longing for the halcyon days of the gubernator.

In contrast to Walker and Davis, Filner is rewarding his voters by working to implement the agenda he campaigned on in the no-holds-barred style that has defined his political career.

The optics haven’t been pretty, particularly with a divided City Council, but Filner’s actions are more about integrity that iniquity. Barring a serious scandal, a recall attempt will be seen for exactly what it is: a sour-grapes endeavor to rectify bad decisions in 2012 by shopping for a more sympathetic electorate. Even if they somehow win, Republicans will look out of touch and desperate. Should they lose, they’ll look foolish, too. If they give it a try, I won’t even feign sympathy. I have three better words: “Make my day.”

PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair PHOTO: ANA PINES

The PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair, held April 27, was sponsored by the City of San Diego and San Diego County Board of Supervisors Greg Cox and Ron Roberts. Ms. Philippines National 2013, founder and executive director of Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence and SDSU student Kristen Paruginog, was one of the emcees of the event.

We enjoyed watching several entertainers including Lei Oleander Dancers (Kayla Pimentel, Alex Honore and Jenna Narvoza), “Year of the Snake” Chinese dancers and 9-year-old Melanie Jimenez, a Hollywood Bowl finalist winner who mesmerized the audience with her rendition of Alicia Keys’ “Girl on Fire.” The Janeiro’s Models showed off Biblia Fashion’s evening wear and custom jewelry during the fashion show. The 3 Wise Men DJs provided music for the event.

National City Mayor Ron Morrison made an appearance and spoke about the diversity of the city and how it’s important to explore each other’s similarities. PTE-Hope, Inc. is a multi-cultural partnership of the federal government and the state of California to promote community awareness, cooperation, hope, unity, respect and goodwill among various cultural and ethnic groups.

Mariachi Festival

Mariachi Festival PHOTO: ANA PINES

A few minutes away from PTE’s event, at Pepper Park, was the 1st annual Mariachi Festival and Competition, sponsored by The National City Chamber of Commerce and HMC Advertising. We watched several groups from all over the country and Mexico as they competed for $4,000 in cash prizes. Jointly organized as the 11th annual Cinco de Mayo Festival, it provided entertainment for families to come together and celebrate San Diego’s heritage through mariachi music and traditional ballet folkloric dancing. There were also merchant booths, arts and crafts, food vendors, music displays and a children’s area.

Adams Avenue Unplugged

Robin Henkel PHOTO: ANA PINES

Previously known as the Adams Avenue Roots Festival, this free music festival, held the weekend of April 27-28, stretched along Adams Avenue, from University Heights on the west end, through Normal Heights, and into parts of Kensington on the east. The performances were staged in restaurants, bars, coffee houses and galleries, as well as four community stages along the avenue. Many of the Unplugged performers played multiple sets, which allowed attendees to catch their favorite artists while enjoying the neighborhoods’ many distinctive shops. We watched Robin Henkel’s performance at the Adams Avenue Park stage. We found a perfect spot in the shade to enjoy the sounds of jazz and blues. It reminded us of when we were back home in New York City and watched summer concerts in Central Park and Prospect Park.

Circo de Mayo

Circo De Mayo PHOTO: ANA PINES

Circo de Mayo, held May 4, was a full-length showcase performance from the DLP Aerial Fitness students at SD United Training Center. DLP Aerial Fitness students learn a variety of acrobatic and aerial disciplines from professional performers. The show featured aerial silks, aerial lyra, aerial hammock, static trapeze and contortion. It felt like we were watching the next generation of Cirque du Soleil performers. The training center offers gymnastics, cirque/acro, cheer/tumbling, parkour, tricking and break dancing classes.

During the past few years I’ve been changing my documented gender at various government agencies. I’ve obtained a court ordered change of documented gender with the state of California and used that court order to obtain a new birth certificate indicating I was born female. I also have provided required documents and followed specified procedures for changing my recorded gender with the Department of State (for a passport), Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), and the Social Security Administration.

The one last government agency that still recorded my gender as male was the Department of Defense (DOD). But, as of April 12, that changed. My recorded gender with the DOD is now female.

OutServe-SLDN and I are announcing today, May 16, that I’ve changed my documented gender with the Department of Defense. We’ve together documented which documents are required to change one’s electronic gender marker in the DOD’s databases, and the procedures and service specific addresses for submitting those documents to the four DOD military services. In a very direct way, documenting and publishing procedures will give other trans military retirees a template for how to accomplish changing their own DOD documented gender.

Documenting the DOD specific procedures have also put a spotlight on how different the required documents and procedures are for changing one’s recorded gender for the State Department, VA, Social Security Administration and DOD. The State Department and VA, in accordance with procedures found in Volume 7 of the U.S. Department of State Foreign Affairs Manual, require a letter which “upon presentation of a signed original statement, on office letterhead, from a licensed physician who has treated the applicant for his/her gender-related care or reviewed and evaluated the gender-related medical history of the applicant” will result in the issuance of a full validity U.S. passport or change of one’s recorded gender in the VA’s databases.

The DOD’s requirements are more onerous. They require all of the following documents to change one’s recorded gender:

1. Changed birth certificate (original or notarized copy)

2. Court order: name change document (original or notarized copy)

3. Notarized letter indicating surgical transition letter

4. Court order: change of gender (original or notarized copy)

5. Copy of updated Social Security Card or notarized copy of current Social Security Benefits indicating changed name and SSN

6. Copy of driver’s license, state-issued ID card, or passport with new name and gender indicated

The following additional document is a required document if one has a spouse that is enrolled in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS):

7. Notarized letter from the retired servicemember’s spouse indicating that he or she understands that after the DOD documents the gender change they will lose their Tricare coverage.

Considering that only approximately half the states in the Union allow changes to birth certificates to change one’s gender, the DOD policy on changing a veteran’s recorded gender is out of reach of a large number of trans former servicemembers.

In publicly documenting how onerous the current DOD’s policy is for changing recorded gender, I know I hope that the spotlight will bring pressure to bear on the DOD to change their policy.

And, changing one’s recorded name and/or gender at the DOD won’t result in being able to obtain an updated DD214 – a servicemember’s Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. According to the Army Board for Correction of Military Records’ Applicant’s Guide To Applying To The Army Board For Correction Of Military Records:

“If you have a name, gender, or social security number (SSN) change after discharge from the military, even if it is court ordered, the name and gender on your military records will not be changed since they are historical documents which record facts during the time you served in the military. If you need a certificate to show your current name or gender and that you served in the military under another, you can request such from the National Personnel Records Center, Military Personnel Records …”

Perhaps putting a spotlight on how trans veterans aren’t able to update their DD214’s to show their changed name and DOD recorded gender will also put a spotlight on how that policy should change too.

Documenting the current DOD process to change one’s recorded gender, though, is the first step toward changing DOD policies that harm trans servicemembers and veterans.

I’ll be working with OutServe-SLDN into the future to do just that.

Toni Atkins at Emory and Henry College

She doesn’t talk about it a lot but Toni was born to very poor working parents in the rural South with no electricity or running water; (yes, an outhouse in the back). But she got an education and this past Saturday she was asked to deliver the commencement address at Emory and Henry College, her 1984 alma mater.

The title of her speech was I have dreamed on this mountain. And, indeed, one of San Diego’s most hard working and beloved public servants is living proof of the American dream and success story.

Both Toni and her partner, Jennifer LeSar, were introduced at the ceremony by the college president. Needless to say, Toni has become an inspiration and role model for not only GLBT students but women and all students.

“You make a difference by who you are,” she told the 2013 graduating class which included the elected senior orator who had just come out to his parents and was quickly disowned.

An older Southern lesbian couple told Toni how proud they were of her. Former deputy mayor, now state Assembly Majority Leader, Toni Atkins has never forgotten where she came from and she has given a voice to the voiceless and is, indeed, not only the pride of San Diego, but of the South.

San Francisco Pride did the right thing

I most respectfully disagree with the recent stand of SAME/San Diego and wholeheartedly support the decision of San Francisco Pride revoking the nomination of Pfc. Bradley Manning as one of its 2013 grand marshals.

I agree with San Francisco Pride that Manning’s actions “placed in harm’s way the lives of our men and women in uniform.” National gay veteran leader, George Garhart told me that a vast majority of GLBT veterans consider Pfc. Manning a traitor to his country.

People, politics and opinions

This past weekend, the Republican Party of San Diego held its annual “Lincoln/Reagan Dinner” and word is that Carl DeMaio got one of the very few prolonged standing ovations as talk that evening was about DeMaio’s plans to run for Congress next year.

By the way, congratulations to Johnathan Hale and Carl DeMaio on their 4th anniversary.

Last week, I had dinner with District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis who is facing a “ Donald Trump-like” wealthy attorney as an opponent. This guy flies on a lot of private jets, owns houses and drives expensive cars. His first run for office, this guy, like Mitt Romney, is out of touch with the average hard working San Diegan.

Susan Atkins is taking the lead in getting a beautiful stained glass window in our new downtown library (opening in Sept.) to be sponsored by our GLBT community … great idea!

While Nathan Fletcher became a new “Clinton Democrat” his equally popular wife, Mindy, recently attended the new Bush Presidential Library in Texas, as she served as his national press secretary of his 2000 campaign.

Top council aide Anthony Bernal will try to succeed his boss, Todd Gloria in 2016 and this race could also include Stephen Whitburn, Chris Ward and Laurie Coskey.

Oceanside’s popular ex-Marine state Assemblyman Rocky Chavez, a conservative Republican came out for marriage equality!

Nicole with Cleve Jones

I say Olga Diaz for mayor of Escondido in 2014!

Let’s support the efforts to name a court house in honor of the late district attorney, Ed Miller who I got to know better when we served on the “Kitchen Cabinet” of former City Attorney Mike Aguirre. Ed was a great man.

Check out the May issue of Pacific magazine and the Todd Gloria interview.

Fred Maas: for decades a fighter for equality

Can’t we move on from the 2012 mayoral race? Various media outlets continue to run stories about the supposed shady backroom dealings of both campaigns.

Hello world! There isn’t a campaign or media outlet that does not do background checks on candidates and their spouses, period.

For one media outlet to accuse Fred Maas of “gay bashing” is so way off base and ridiculous. Maas has been a longtime and respected supporter of GLBT equality and many GLBT candidates. He puts his money where his mouth is and writer Scott Lewis should wash his mouth out with soap for his recent psycho attack on Fred Maas.

Supporting women with HIV-AIDS

Every year the good people of Christie’s Place hold a retreat for women living with HIV-AIDS. This is a badly needed chance for them to step back from everyday life, reflect and re-energize.

Now this 5th annual event is badly in need of financial support if it’s going to happen. Bonnie Dumanis was one of the first to write a personal check and the Imperial Court has made a pledge. Let’s support these women. Contact Christie’s Place or Carolina Ramos at The Center 619-692-2077.

‘Red Dress Party’ coming to San Diego!

Finally, the super-popular and outrageous Red Dress Party is coming to San Diego. (Via Las Vegas, New York etc.) A totally fun event where every man and woman comes in a red dress to the HIV-AIDS event or you can’t enter.

A big list of San Diego VIPs will be hosts of this event that is being organized by Rich’s and the Imperial Court.

Cleve Jones

On the subject of heroes, I attended a reception in Phoenix, Ariz. this past Sunday at the beautiful home of M.C.C. pastor, Rev. Brad Wishon for international human rights activist Cleve Jones who founded the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and was the historic consultant to the Academy award winning film, Milk.

As many times as I’ve heard my good friend speak these last decades, Cleve remains inspiring and so eloquent as he always speaks from the heart. Yes, I consider myself blessed to have met people like Rev. Troy Perry, Cesar Chavez, Harvey Milk, Loretta Scott King, Morris Knight, Robin Tyler, Stuart Milk, Jose Julio Sarria and, yes, Cleve Jones. I’ve gotten to work with and know many of them and for me, a gay Latino activist for more than 45 years, these are some of my personal role models and heroes.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

The Senate Judiciary Committee begins consideration of the Gang of 8’s Immigration Reform Bill today. C-SPAN’s coverage should be must-see-TV for an audience of one: Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy.

Among the potentially contentious issues facing the committee is the inclusion of the Uniting American Families Act (UAFA). Under current law, special immigration provisions available to the spouses of U.S. citizens are not available to LGBT Americans. Originally drafted to get around the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), UAFA would give equal immigration access to LGBT couples in state-recognized relationships, be they marriages, civil unions or domestic partnerships.

The need to even discuss UAFA should make one thing clear to Kennedy as he considers his decision on DOMA and Proposition 8: moving slowly on marriage equality is more a step toward chaos than justice.

Until same-sex marriage is a reality nationwide, changes in the tax code, military benefits and more than 1,000 other federal rules we learned about in the DOMA debate could all require a UAFA-esque patch to deal with same-sex relationships. Every time that patch could be used to hold a bill hostage, despite Chief Justice Roberts’ rosy assessment of the political power of the LGBT community. Every time the patch fails, the status of same-sex couples and straight couples becomes more separated and less equal.

Striking down DOMA will help LGBT couples in states that have marriage equality, but without a broader ruling against same-sex marriage bans, it will also add to the confusion. As part of the DOMA decision, or shortly thereafter, the courts will be forced to decide whether same-sex spouses are eligible for federal benefits based on where they live or where they were married.

Under DOMA, same-sex couples married in Massachusetts file joint state tax returns and individual federal returns. If DOMA is repealed and they move to Kansas, they could well be filing joint federal returns and individual state returns. Presuming, of course, that Kansas allows the federal recognition of same-sex marriages. Gov. Brownback recently signed a law aiming to exclude guns made and owned in Kansas from federal laws. A similar law blocking the recognition of same-sex relationships wouldn’t be out of character, and could make a temporary mess of things even if it is eventually overturned.

Divorce and estate law can be even more fun. Picture it … Maryland … 2013 … a male federal worker marries another man, and then crosses the Potomac to Virginia, where his same-sex marriage isn’t recognized. There, he marries a woman. They move to California, where he dies. Which marriage is recognized by California? Who gets his federal benefits? What if DOMA was struck down right before he dies?

During the oral arguments on Proposition 8, Kennedy expressed concern about moving too quickly. Instead, he should watch the UAFA proceedings and think about the current patch-don’t-work of conflicting state and federal laws.

Then, perhaps he’ll more clearly hear the voices of 40,000 children in California telling him to fix it all by ensuring that their parents, and all Americans, have the right to marry the person they love, and have it recognized by their state and their country.

It’s doubtful you are as nerdy as me and watch PBS Frontline. However, I encourage everyone to watch the program titled The Retirement Gamble that aired April 23 (it’s easy to find online). This show is one of the best I’ve seen that exposes many of the hidden shenanigans the financial industry pulls over middle-class America to earn a profit.

The Frontline program is organized into three general topics which can be described as:

1) Retirement planning is confusing.

2) Employer savings plans are full of fees.

3) There is no standard regulation for financial advisers.

Retirement planning is confusing

Planning for retirement has fallen solely on each individual. Without pensions, people need to determine how much to save, where to invest, and how to properly withdraw those funds in retirement. The vast majority of Americans are ignoring this responsibility because it is simply too overwhelming.

Employer savings plans are full of fees

This is the middle part of the show and it is shocking. Frontline investigates how 401(k) plans have many hidden fees. There are mutual fund expense ratios, management fees, admin. fees, trading fees and kickbacks to brokers.

Assume all of these fees total 2 percent of your account balance. That doesn’t seem like much. However, a 2 percent fee will eat away 66 percent of your account balance during 50 years!

Most of the 401(k) fees can be found in the mutual fund expense ratio. Actively-managed mutual funds try to beat the market and have high fees. Index mutual funds match the market return and have low fees. The program explains there is no research showing an actively-managed fund outperforms the less expensive index fund. Re-read that sentence to fully understand its impact.

No standard regulation for financial advisers

Anyone can call themselves a financial adviser, wealth manager or any kind of important sounding title. There is no regulation to it. There are a few methods, or “standards”, that financial professionals operate under.

The more common method is called the “suitability standard.” The suitability standard does not require the client’s best interest come first. Or another way of saying it, the adviser can make recommendations that will earn him the largest commission, rather than make the recommendation that is best for the client.

The less common method is the “fiduciary standard,” which only 15 percent of financial advisers follow. The fiduciary standard legally obligates the financial adviser to only make recommendations that are in the client’s best interest. Which standard would you like your financial adviser to operate under?

Solutions for all

The program does not have a typical Hollywood feel-good ending. That’s my one complaint about The Retirement Gamble. I like happy endings! Here are my suggestions to take control of your retirement plan:

1) Start saving at least 10 percent of your pay, and try to save 15 percent to 20 percent if possible.

2) In your 401(k), try to choose index funds with low expense ratios (below 0.50 percent is good).

3) Check your employer plan rating at BrightScope.com and use BrightScope’s tools to become an activist to get your employer to lower 401(k) fees.

4) Ask your financial adviser if they are a fiduciary acting in your best interests at all times. If not, then find a fiduciary financial planner at NAPFA.org.

Steve Doster is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional providing commission-free financial advice for do-it-yourself investors. You can reach Steve at Doster Financial Planning by phone 619-688-1192 or email steve@dosterfinancialplanning.com. You can also follow Steve on Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, or blog to get more personal finance advice and tips.

Christ Rescuing Peter from Drowning, by Veneziano, 1370

I love the story in Matthew 14 where Jesus asks Peter to walk on the water – what great drama about faith! Peter was willing to risk everything on just the word of his teacher.

We hear in the Scripture that the disciples have been asked by Jesus to take a boat and go on before him to the other side of the Sea of Galilee while Jesus stays behind to dismiss the crowds that had gathered to listen to him.

By evening Jesus was alone, praying, getting in some Sabbath time and the disciples were experiencing just the opposite; far from shore, fighting against the wind and waves. They struggle almost all night against the storm that is crashing down against them, and they struggle successfully, until near dawn they see an apparition. They see something, or is it someone, walking across the water toward them; and they’re terrified! What do you do when you’re scared beyond belief? I don’t know about you, but I jump and then let out a scream and most of the time it isn’t so butch; if you know what I mean! Well, the disciples in the boat cried out in fear!

Immediately Jesus responds to the disciples fear with the words, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” I like this translation better: “Hey! Calm down! It’s me, Jesus!”

Peter is the first one to answer Jesus. “Lord, if it is you, ask me to come to you on the water.”

And Jesus answers, “Come on.” And Peter climbs over the edge of the rocking boat and puts his feet in, no, on the water and begins to walk toward Jesus! Wow!

Can you imagine what the other disciples were thinking? They’re probably yelling back, “Sit down, Pete. You’re rocking the boat! You’re going to get us all drowned!”

I love this story. It shows us what can happen when we respond to the call of Jesus; it shows us how we can triumph over fear, confusion, doubt; it shows us how, when we dare to believe the words of Jesus, his power lifts us up and allows us to weather the storms of life and do something new; something we thought impossible!

Think about it. Peter didn’t need to get out of the boat. He didn’t need to go out on the stormy waters. He could have simply stayed where he was and waited for Jesus to come to him. He could have sheltered himself in the safety of the boat in the knowledge that everything would be OK now that Jesus was coming to him and the other disciples.

But Peter needed to get out of the boat if he was going to walk on the water. If you wanna walk on water, you have to get out of the boat!

Peter took a chance. He asked Jesus to call him. He asked Jesus for the power to meet him in the middle of the storm. Peter had courage.

The courage to venture out into danger and do what Jesus has said can be done; the courage to risk taking a step that didn’t really need to be taken, but he does it simply because Jesus says it can be taken.

Jesus is saying, “You can do it! Trust me.”

I don’t know about you, but given the choice between safety, the familiar and comfort versus taking a risk, fear and the unknown what would you choose?

What are your dreams? What is your passion? What risk is Jesus asking you to take? What have you been afraid to do? What have you postponed because you dreaded the possible consequences? Who have you avoided because you didn’t know what to say to them?

Where have you refused to go because you feared what might happen there? What goal have you hid from because you felt inadequate? What dream have you let wither and die?

If you’re going to walk on water, you need to get out of the boat!

Sometimes we just need to get out of the safety of the boat and say, “Lord, if it’s you, ask me to come to you.”

I’m not saying to take a wild chance on the first thing that comes along, but I am saying if you have a dream or if you’re in a tough situation and you hear Jesus calling you to take a chance … If you see that you can do something to help someone else or simply feel that God is calling you to change something in your life, risk it!

Peter’s faith held him up. The power of Christ held him up. And Peter was going great, until he forgot about the power that he had called upon and the power that had called him.

Peter did well until he focused on the danger he was in; till he looked at the strong wind and the waves and became afraid.

Then, he began to sink.

When we take a risk; when we dare to do what God is calling us to do it is very important that we remember to stay focused on our goal; to trust that God will see us through despite what is happening all around us. Don’t focus on the fear. Don’t focus on your negative feelings.

That’s exactly what people who live by faith do. They remember that feelings can be misleading, but the truths in God’s Word are reliable, trustworthy and consistent.

When we believe and act on these truths, we experience God’s promises for us.

Peter, when he is overcome by fear, when he starts to walk according to his feelings instead of by faith begins to sink. His risk looks as though he failed, but he didn’t.

Peter sinks, but as he begins to sink Peter remembers where his help comes from and he cries out, Lord! Save me!”

And Jesus immediately reaches out his hand and catches Peter.

This is what God does when we risk as well.

When we step out; when we take a risk to come closer to God and then stumble a hand reaches out to us and lifts us up. All we have to do is remember God’s promise to always be with us.

Jesus says to Peter after reaching out to him and saving him, and I believe he says it gently, “Peter, where’s your faith? Why did you doubt me?”

When we take a risk for God; when we dare to do what is right; when we decide to go the extra mile, a mile that we don’t even need to walk but Jesus tells us we can walk; God is near to us to help us.

All we need to do is keep focused on the Source of our faith, to look to where our help comes from. All we need to do is ask for the help we need and trust that it will come.

Like Peter who stepped out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus who had called him, we too can step out. Remember, if we’re gonna walk on the water, we have to get out of the boat!

When we do, power flows; when we do, marvelous things happen; when we do, we discover new things about ourselves.

We can risk, because we have a powerful God watching over us; we can trust, because we have a loving God caring for us; we can step out, because we have a faithful God who will save us.

If you want to walk on the water, you have to get out of the boat!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Mike Wallace

One of the downsides of writing weekly is that you miss some good media cycles. By the time my column comes out, most of the news and analysis is done. Other than adding my kudos to the courage of Jason Collins, all there is really room for is a good old fashioned rant. Miami Dolphin’s wide-receiver Mike Wallace teed one up for me.

For those who missed The Onion’s marvelous spoof (http://www.theonion.com/articles/dolphins-wr-mike-wallace-comes-out-as-stupid-assho,32252/), Wallace responded to Jason Collins’ courageous self-outing by Tweeting, “All these beautiful women in the world and guys wanna mess with other guys …” His “apology” was, “I’m not bashing anybody don’t have anything against anyone I just don’t understand it.”

I can accept that. These are hard questions. What I don’t understand is why people think half-baked Tweets are the answer to a lack of insight?

When I don’t understand something, I usually gather more information. I didn’t understand evolutionary biology. So I took a class. “Why would a man be attracted to another man?” is an interesting question. So is “Why would a man be attracted to a woman?” The answer to both may actually be “It’s what nature intended.” If evolution turned primordial soup into human beings, it’s not a bad guess that it left homosexuals around for a reason. One theory is that homosexual relationships are critical to propagating the species when straight men don’t stick around to raise the kids. Not that that ever happens. Certainly not in pro sports.

When research doesn’t work, I suggest trying the activity. I didn’t understand why anyone would hit a little white ball with a piece of metal, chase it down, and hit it again. So I played some golf. It’s still not my thing, but I understand it much better. If the Wallace’s of the world could just be a little more specific, perhaps we could select the appropriate educational activity. What, exactly, about guys messin’ with other guys don’t you understand?

If it’s the mechanics, I suggest putting up a Grindr profile. “Loud cocky receiver, athletic build, under contract,” should generate a number of gentlemen who would show you how it works, particularly if combined with the right pictures. Forgive them if they seem to think you have a certain position in a certain kind of movie.

If it’s the attraction that’s a mystery, go to a gay bar or gala event with an open mind. Look around the room. Unless you’re the rare 10 on the Kinsey scale, you will likely find your eyes lingering on someone. This time, you won’t be able to rapidly look away and prophylactically tell your wing man that you were only admiring his date (unless you also like his friend, which won’t get you out of it). So you’ll have to go talk to him. Maybe you’ll feel a spark. Maybe not. Better yet, do it at a straight bar, where you have no idea how he’ll respond. Welcome to a crush on the guy at work.

If you still don’t understand homosexuality, I can at least respect your effort. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll at least accept us. Frankly, I don’t understand the reflex to respond to a courageous act with Tweets that are, to be generous, misguided. I do accept it, and I support your freedom to be who you are. You can do the same for Jason Collins and whoever has the courage to be #firstgayNFLer.

In collaboration with San Diego Film Festival (SDFF), At-HOM Furniture hosted the Lights, Action, Red Carpet event, during Kettner Nights in Little Italy Friday, April 12. The event gave visitors a chance to speak with representatives from the festival, enjoy wine and finger foods, and peruse the contemporary and vintage furniture and accessories. SDFF offered memberships valued at $55 to all that stopped by.

SDFF is looking to position itself as “a major force and destination independent film festival set in one of the world’s finest cities.” We’re looking forward to this year’s festival which takes place Oct 2-6. For more information go to sdfilmfest.com

Fashion Week San Diego

Fashion Week San Diego (FWSD) held its first press conference for this year’s upcoming show, at Roppongi’s restaurant in La Jolla April 15. Director and founder Allison Andrews spoke to local San Diego media representatives and bloggers about the event, which will include three nights of runway shows at the Broadway Pier downtown, expanding from the one runway show in 2012.

Models provided a peek into each of the 26 emerging designer’s unique aesthetics and talent by showcasing looks from their past collections. Cocktails and appetizers were served as the press, designers and models mingled to the beats of Sleeping Giant Music’s DJ Hevrock.

FWSD 2013 will be held September 30-October 6.

Army of Broken Toys

Eliza Rickman PHOTO: ANA PINES

Boston-based phenomenon Walter Sickert and The Army of Broken Toys performed at the Queen Bee’s Art & Cultural Center April 16. These darlings of the steampunk world cleave audience’s hearts with rollicking apocalyptic waltzes and powerful rock ballads. They share music with everyone who has ever been broken. The Army of Broken Toys offers a unique rock club run away to the circus experience. We also enjoyed Eliza Rickman’s performance, which included a toy piano and an accordion. Her voice along with her toy piano is enthralling and quirky.

Federal Jazz Project

Federal Jazz Project, conceived and written by Richard Montoya with original jazz score and onstage jazz band led by trumpet virtuoso Gilbert Castellanos and directed by Sam Woodhouse made its world premiere at San Diego Rep. It was thrilling to see the amazing tap dance percussionist Claudia Gomez as “Tijuana” and classical guitarist and songstress Lorraine Castellanos as “San Diego.” This is the finale of San Diego REP’s 37th season and will be onstage until May 5. If you love jazz, don’t miss this musical journey.

I love worship! I love to worship! I love to worship alone and in a group. It’s such an important part of our lives and has such a great emphasis in our services. Many hours and many people go into creating our weekly worship services. Worship is so many things – and I’d like to share with you what worship is not.

Worship, very simply, is not about us – not for us. What do I mean by that? Worship is a gift that we give to someone else. Worship is for God.

The origin of our word worship is similar to the word worth. We think about what something is worth – its value. In the Book of Revelation we hear a lot about worship: “You are worthy, O God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”

Worship is for God. It’s so easy to lose sight of this truth. We often have people coming to our church to “check us out.” They say they’re church shopping. That’s great – there are so many different brands of churches and flavors of worship for so many different tastes. When I hear about church shopping, it reminds me of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: “This soup is too hot. This soup is too cold. This soup is just right!” Until someone disappoints them, because no church is perfect – because it’s made up of people!

We form opinions about all aspects of life, don’t we? We are comparison shoppers, and we make most of our decisions this way. During the past few decades this has spilled over into worship. Some writers have described this as the “worship wars;” contemporary versus traditional; my favorite style versus your favorite style and music often becomes the scapegoat in all of this. I get asked what style of worship we have on Sundays – and I say we have a blended style. It fits well for us because we’re a church made up of so many different faith backgrounds.

Now, there can be profound worship in any style, but going down the road of style leads us to the wrong place, because it places everything in the context of my preference or your taste. Worship is unique in that it’s not about your preference or mine. It’s something else altogether.

It’s not for us. It is for God. It’s the offering of our very best selves to God. There’s a deep biblical tradition of worship; of giving our best – our best offering, our first offering, the first fruits of the harvest to God. Why do most churches worship on Sundays? Because it’s the first day of the week – not the last. God’s people were instructed to give their first fruits to God. Worship is an offering of our best selves, our real selves, our authentic selves, to God.

In the sixth chapter of Isaiah we see a beautiful picture of what worship looks like. Isaiah is in the temple, overwhelmed with the beauty and glory of God, and he hears the voices singing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the God of hosts; the whole earth is filled with God’s glory.”

What’s going on? Isaiah is having a wonderful experience of praise. Then something happens. After praise, after authentic and real worship – there’s an experience of the holy – and we see ourselves and life in a different way. Isaiah makes a confession, an acknowledgment and a true statement about himself. “Woe is me, I am lost. I am a man of unclean lips and I live in the midst of a people of unclean lips.” He was reminded, perhaps, of a time when he used his words to harm someone else or even himself. Perhaps it was in worship where he was reminded of one of the “Four Agreements:” Be Impeccable with Your Words.

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

When we worship God, we are somehow changed. This is not the purpose of worship; it’s not about us, but by experiencing God, we are transformed. In worship, God’s unique and special love for us is revealed. In worship, we might be nudged to go make amends or ask for forgiveness or forgive someone who has hurt us.

Worship is more than a relationship between God and us. When worship is authentic, when it’s an experience of the holy, there is unfinished business. God has our attention.

Back in Isaiah 6:8, “Then I heard the voice of God saying, whom shall I send, who will go for us?” Isaiah responds: “Here am I, God. Send me.”

This is a long way away from church shopping; a long way from sizing up a deity that matches our temperaments and tastes, our styles and status.

In worship, there is praise, confession and forgiveness – and in worship there is a desire to reflect God’s glory beyond the temple, outside of a church building and into the world where we live.

Worship is not about us; yet when we worship we are transformed and filled with a deep desire to reflect God’s light in the world. That’s why we support our outreach ministries into the community. That’s why we support Transgender Day of Empowerment. That’s why we have a children’s and teen’s ministry. Worship fills us with the desire to be God’s light.

Without worship we see our gifts as our own possessions; the world as a resource to be used; our neighbor as competition for those things that we want for ourselves and truth as whatever spin we can put on it.

Passionate worship changes all of life. I think miracles take place in worship. Sometimes someone will make a comment like “our attendance was a little down this morning.” My thought is usually, “I’m just grateful for those who came to worship!” I mean, why would anyone leave the comfort and warmth of their bed on a Sunday morning; put expensive gasoline in their cars; search for a parking place that sometimes is a ways away; drink coffee that may not be as good as you make at home; sit in a room that is usually either too hot or too cold and sometimes next to people you don’t even know? Why would people do this?

It makes no sense unless there’s a God who is real; who is above us and beyond us but also beside us and within us; who created and sustains all things; who is worthy of our worship.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Kim McBride, League President Russ Mortenson Boyd and Nancy Logerberg

SAN DIEGO — The San Diego Pool League’s (SDPL) Broomstick Tournament concluded this past weekend at the Eagle with the team of Anthony Juarez and his team mate Kim McBride (sponsored by Twiggs Coffee House) finishing in first place. Finishing in second place were League President Russ Mortenson Boyd and Nancy Logerberg sponsored by the Leather Foundation. The three-weekend event which began at Kelly Pub in Old town April 14 and then PECS April 21 qualified the top four teams which in addition to our first and second place teams include: Joe Corder and Norma Posy and attorney Timothy Lee Davis and Oscar Castro.

This past Sunday the four teams battled it out, with brooms in hand, until one team was left standing. So far the event has raised about $800 for PAWS (Pets are Wonderful Support) with the final tally to be determined following the Leagues Awards Banquet Monday, July 8 at the Sheraton Mission Valley Hotel where raffle tickets will be sold and lots of bar tabs will be up for grabs.

The Broomstick Tournament, which began back in 1985, is one of our oldest LGBT fundraising events and through the years has generated more than $30,000 for local organizations such as the San Diego AIDS Foundation, Special Delivery and the Lambda Archives, to name a few.

Tournament founder and this year’s tournament director, Mike Passante would like to thank Timothy Lee Davis: attorney at law, Sharon Sherman: attorney at law, Hillcrest Pharmacy, Twiggs Coffee House, Dr. David Shamblaw, The Leather Foundation, #1 Fifth Avenue, Starbucks, Big City Bagel, The Eagle, PECS, Kellys Pub, True North, The Redwing, The Big Kitchen, The Loft and everyone who helped to make this year’s event a success.

Currently the Pool League is in its final weeks of team play in this its 35^th year and 70^th season! The first of its several playoff tournaments begins Sunday, May 12, where the Hungry Stick will host the leagues Rising Star Tournament starting at 10 a.m.

The league will be hosting the California 8 Ball championship West Coast Challenge in mid-July with teams from Long Beach, Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego competing in both team and individual events. The Leagues 71^st season will begin Monday, July 29. For complete Playoff information and all league history and events check out the Pool League web site at sdpool.org

Dave Roberts

The North County LGBTQ Resource Center’s 2013 annual gala is being held May 18 at the Oceanside Museum of Art. This year’s theme is Hearts in the Community, Eyes on Equality and the event is billed as an evening of entertainment, inspirational speeches, good food and fun for sponsors, friends and members. The event is the North County Center’s biggest fundraiser of the year and keynote speaker for the night is San Diego Supervisor Dave Roberts, while Executive Director Max Disposti will introduce the gala.

The North County LGBTQ Resource Center opened its doors in January of 2012 thanks to the support of people and businesses who realized the tremendous need for such a resource. The North County Center serves more than 800 people per month between support groups, services and activities, and this year they have plans to offer even more.

Their programs reach people throughout North San Diego County from college, high school students and their families to Marines at Camp Pendleton.

Tickets are $50 each or $90 for two and are available at ncresourcecenter/gala.org or call 760-994-1690.

Bill and Yohei, celebrating 40 years together

As with all seniors, a key word or topic will stimulate me to remember with perfect clarity past events of all emotional hues and importance; but then, when I add in the time frame, I’m amazed to realize they occurred 30, 40 even 50 years ago.

A shocking (to me) example occurs with the appearance of this article April 25 when I will be re-enacting in my head that day forty years ago in Tokyo when an incredibly handsome man asked me for a light (talk about originality!) and I was happy to oblige. His English was poor as was my Japanese, but somehow we clicked. His name was Yohei and we have been partners ever since.

Has it been one long honeymoon? Of course not. We have worked hard compromising or simply ignoring problems that weren’t worth ruining an evening or much less breaking up over – like my snoring or his obsessive attention to my salt intake.

What are we going to do to celebrate? Not much. He’s in Japan. As a dangerous, retired foreigner he cannot get a visa to live here, only visit. So we’ll have to settle for a long phone call. Previous to that, I’ll send a Rite-Aid card with an icky-poo poem which he will not understand; in return, he’ll spend hours making me a card from some exquisite hand-made paper on which he’ll write an impenetrable haiku with sentiments so lofty and in calligraphy so unreadably refined it will have meaning only to a Zen high priest.

In both cases, however, the point will be made. It’s been grand. Let’s go for another forty.

April’s March madness. Dodgers leave Brooklyn. Who knew?

I am constantly mocked for my lack of sports knowledge. I try, but it gets so complicated. For example, April 1 all forms of the media announced April was the start of the baseball season; then followed constant references to March madness. It got worse – that turned out to have nothing to do with Macy’s Spring Sale, but about basketball!

In the midst of the March madness, the Padres (our local team) had a baseball game to celebrate April. They were playing the Dodgers who seem to have moved from Brooklyn. No wonder I am confused.

To improve my manly image, I ventured forth to the stadium to attend the game. For several blocks before I arrived, I was accosted by a multitude of men and women of somewhat dubious respectability offering to sell me their tickets all of which were sworn to be of the highest quality and in fantastic seating sections. I did not succumb. I strongly suspected they were over-priced and far from the goal posts. I wasn’t born yesterday.

I fought my way through the crowd of happy, but not terribly well-mannered youths, to the long line in front of the ticket booth where eventually I asked for a ticket. The outrageous price demanded shocked me and so I attempted to discuss and compare the various other seating choices. After a very few minutes; however, the people behind me grew increasingly restive; unkind remarks were made and finally a huge brute actually shoved me aside.

I was about to protest, but the look in her eye told me not to bother.

Having tried my best, I went to a movie. I heard we won, so that was nice. Go Padres!

Marco Rubio

In promoting the “Gang of 8” immigration bill, Sen. Marco Rubio emphasized one point: “This is not amnesty.” Whether you use Rubio’s definition – “the forgiveness of something,” or Merriam-Webster’s – “the act of an authority by which pardon is granted,” I agree. This is not amnesty.

Forgiveness and pardon suggest that any debt is paid, as time served or a magnanimous act. This legislation provides undocumented immigrants no such state of grace. “Registered provisional” status requires a background check, a job, and a fine. Citizenship comes 13 years and hundreds of dollars later, after additional hoops, some beyond the individual’s control. Even this defunct Catholic remembers that if you are still working off the infraction with acts of contrition, you don’t have forgiveness. You are doing penance, and in this case a stiff one.

“10 year sentence” calls to mind some pretty heinous crimes: rape, kidnapping, drug trafficking. How is being an undocumented immigrant on a par with these offenses? If it is considered some sort of continuing criminal trespass, it doesn’t justify 13 years. If it is a civil violation, why a sentence at all, and who deserves monetary “damages”?

Even the DREAMers, who are innocent beyond the debatable sins of their parents, receive no amnesty. Their penance is shorter, if undeserved.

This brings us to the other group that receives no amnesty from this legislation: the rest of us. Not just loose cannons spouting slurs and lies, but all of us. We’ve all enjoyed the cheaper groceries, restaurant dinners and other services often provided by undocumented immigrants in a kind of national indentured servitude. Too harsh? How would you define a population paid low wages, with a ceiling on advancement and kept quiet by a fear of deportation?

Those who haven’t voted for anti-immigration candidates can currently consider themselves unwilling, or unwitting, conspirators. That ends with this legislation, which ensconces multi-tiered citizenship. “Registered provisional” Americans can live and work here, but have no access to ObamaCare or other governmental support; however, they are on a pathway to citizenship, something not offered to “W-visa” guest workers. Their renewable 3-year stays can’t even be converted to permanent status. For other visas, potential Americans will be judged by the applicability of their education, not the content of their character. I thought Dr. King taught us better.

Particularly given the current Congress, this legislation, like democracy, is the worst option except for all the others. It brings 11 million people out of the shadows, and gives many a path to citizenship. That’s not a bad thing, but it should be seen as a first step to absolution. There is no amnesty here for anyone.

If this legislation defines the penance, however unwarranted, of undocumented immigrants, ours is to follow it with further movements toward a more perfect union that rejects second class citizenship. When we get there, perhaps we can absolve each other.

Kensington is an upscale enclave situated on the southeast rim of Mission Valley. Comprised of California Spanish-style homes by real estate developers in 1926, Kensington is a picturesque and peaceful pocket amid the hubbub of the inner city.

Sitting high on a dry mesa, this desirable neighborhood is surrounded by chaparral-wooded canyons, overlooking a bustling valley and cooled by breezes blowing in from the Pacific Ocean to the west. A charming commercial district is situated along Adams Avenue consisting of restaurants, coffee shops, a small park and a public library.

The neighborhood we think of today is actually a collection of five original subdivisions: Kensington Park, Kensington Park Annex, Kensington Park Extension, Kensington Talmadge and Kensington Heights. Kensington Heights was the last of the parcels to be developed and consisted of 115 acres.

The Kensington location was first considered for development in 1909 as a potential site to construct luxury homes for retired executives of the Santa Fe Railway Company. The land was part of the ex-mission ranch owned by Santiago Arguello. The property changed hands through the years and eventually a parcel of 157 acres became the property of the Kensington Park Land Company in 1910 who divided and sold tracts of land to developers. The tracts were then subdivided into lots and sold to buyers wishing to build their homes however they pleased.

The Davis Baker Company of Pasadena, Calif. who originally planned to build homes prior to selling the vacant lots had a vision of creating a conforming neighborhood consisting of California Spanish-style homes. Requiring that homes built by others conform to certain aesthetic standards, the community was, and is today set apart from the surrounding developments.

With winding streets and sidewalks, exceptional architectural details and exceptional landscaping plans, Kensington was destined to become one of San Diego’s most desirable communities.

In the early 1900s Kensington became one of the many San Diego neighborhoods connected by the Class 1 streetcars and an extensive San Diego public transit system that was spurred by the Panama-California Exposition of 1915 and constructed by John D. Spreckels. These streetcars became a fixture of the neighborhood until their retirement in 1939. Some of the streetcars are slated for re-instatement for the upcoming centennial celebration of the Exposition.

Located in the heart of the community is the neighborhood Kensington neon sign which hangs over Adams Avenue within the business district. The sign was erected in 1953 and paid for by the citizens of the community. The sign was designated a historical landmark April 24, 2008 by the Historical Resources Board.

Kensington is also known for its sense of community. Highlights include an annual Memorial Day parade as well as a Christmas lighting contest open to all wishing to decorate the exterior of their homes. There is also a garden concert series featuring professional musicians and hosted by varying homeowners with food provided by local restaurants. Finally, there is an active neighborhood association known as Ken-Tal which hosts monthly dinner meetings.

This community is truly a must-see segment of beautiful San Diego County and worthy of an afternoon driving tour.

Until next time … don’t dream it, live it!

Ron Monigold is a Licensed Real Estate agent and a Certified Real Estate Appraiser. He is a member of the National, California, and San Diego Association of Realtors. You can reach Ron at The Metropolitan Group @ 619.990.4631 or at ronmetro@cox.net. DRE License # 01865841.

Commentary: Conversations with Nicole

BY NICOLE MURRAY RAMIREZ

The facts are that a major earthquake will, sooner or later, occur in California according to all the experts. Also the FBI and Homeland Security have in the past named San Diego as one of the top cities for a possible terrorist attack.

San Diego is right next to the Mexican border and has one of the largest military complexes in the United States.

Do you have an emergency kit? A first aid kit? Even a flashlight and radio? You can buy emergency kits at Ace Hardware, Target, etc.

I urge you to get one today. It’s better to be safe than sorry!

Happy Birthday to County Commissioner Frank Lechner PHOTO: BIG MIKE

More than 900 Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast tickets sold!

The Friday, May 24 annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast at the Hilton by the Bay will certainly be sold out as usual with 900 tickets already having been sold!

Gov. Barbara Richards and Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black will be honored and Mayor Bob Filner and his first lady Bronwyn Ingram will be the special emcees. Stuart Milk of the Harvey Milk Foundation will be in town and for the first time a Navy Honor Guard will present the national anthem along with the award-winning San Diego Gay Men’s Chorus.

There have been Harvey Milk Breakfasts in San Francisco, Palm Springs and all over California but San Diego was the first and still is the biggest!

So get your tickets/tables today, before it is too late. Call The LGBT Center for more information 619-692-2077.

Royale Gala raises $8,000

The annual Royale Ball and Investiture of the members of the 41^st reign of the Imperial Court de San Diego held at The Center raised more than $8,000 for the ongoing programs of the Imperial Court.

Congratulations to Blue Montana the outgoing prince who is a leader in the transgender community and Mama Cass, who is a long time fundraiser and popular personality in the Filipino community.

‘The People’s Empress’ Candi Samples invested her new court members and Allan Spyere, president of the board of directors, presented a financial grant to Border Angels and announced that the Court would be official financial sponsors of the children’s gardens of both North County Pride and South Bay Pride. The Imperial Court will also, once again, co-sponsor the annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast.

The Imperial Court de San Diego is an all-volunteer organization and is a chapter within the International Court System which was founded in 1965 and has chapters in more than 68 cities in Canada, the United States and Mexico.

First lady Bronwyn Ingram and Mayor Bob Filner attend the Royale Ball at The Center Saturday night to thank the Imperial Court for their community service. PHOTO: BIG MIKE

Mayor Bob Filner and his first lady Bronwyn Ingram stopped by and commended the Court members and GLBT community for the recent successful 10^th annual Children’s Easter Egg Hunt. The president of the San Diego City Council, Todd Gloria presented an official proclamation naming it “Imperial Court Day.”

Congratulations to the new prince and princess royale, Mikie Lochner and Jaeda Reign. For more information visit impcourt.org or call 619-300-1232.

Dillingham Fund provides funeral costs

The Ben F. Dillingham III Community Grant was established in 2000. Did you know it has provided the last dignity in the lives and memory of dozens of GLBT San Diegans, families and friends who could not even afford this last dignity?

This past Thursday night I stopped by The Center for a memorial service in honor of a young man who died of AIDS. The Dillingham Fund provided his cremation and has done so for many of our brothers and sisters, some whose families had refused to help and abandoned them and others who could not afford this cost.

Thank you for your continued support of this fund. Almost all of the cases are referred by The LGBT Center.

DIG honors founding sponsors for their support during the last 7 years, at an event held at 1202 PHOTO: BIG MIKE

Cinco de Mayo Fiesta: May 4

The Latino community continues to grow in our state and city and coming up Saturday, May 4 at The Center will be one of the biggest fiestas. Carlos Silva and Friends annual Cinco de Mayo event at Numbers (3811 Park Blvd.) with a Mr., Miss and Ms. Cinco de Mayo contest, entertainment and traditional buffet.

Everyone is invited. For further information: 619-540-8727 or grinsil@yahoo.com.

See you all at Numbers May 4 … Olé!

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

K. Rose PHOTO: ANA PINES

We made our way to Dinah Shore Thursday April 4. Our first stop was the opening night party at Zelda’s Nightclub and it was packed. You could barely move around without bumping into someone. We got to see K. Rose perform her hit “Sleep When I’m Dead.” We decided to get some air after her performance and there she was signing autographs and taking photos with some lucky fans.

The next morning Kim’s work brought us back to San Diego. Luckily we had our white outfits ready for the highly anticipated White Party. We arrived at the Zoso Hotel a little after midnight and the crowd was still strong. We went to the main dance floor and caught some of the dancers mingling with the crowd. There was an outside patio where others went to chat it up and/or light up. The outfits ranged from cut off shorts to some people who were dressed to the nines. We then made it to the Latin dance floor and danced to bachata, salsa and some reggaeton. In our opinion, it’s the sexier night of the five dance events.

Saturday we brought out the bathing suits for our first dip in the pool at the Zoso Hotel. Play Boy School, Life Down Here and Love’s Darling performed while the ladies danced, tanned and sipped their drinks. When the performances were over we saw a few girls in the pool trying to get their friends on their shoulders. Once they succeeded they began to have chicken fights. They didn’t last more than a few seconds. Needless to say it was fun to watch from the sidelines.

Love’s Darling PHOTO: ANA PINES

Saturday night’s party took place at the Palm Springs Convention Center. There was a Monte Carlo theme that included a celebrity poker tournament where 100 percent of the proceeds were given to the HRC. A red carpet was set-up for the celesbian arrivals. There was also a performance by Karmin and Leah LaBelle.

Pool party PHOTO: ANA PINES

Sunday we made our way to the front of the main stage at Here TV and Shewired’s Wet and Wild Pool Party for a 4 p.m. performance by international superstar Diana King. She introduced her girlfriend and spoke a little bit about how happy she’s been since coming out. You could see the glee in her eyes as she looked at the crowd of proud and out women. A sight she could never see in her native country, Jamaica. A sound interruption occurred during her last song and one of her most popular, “Shy Guy” so she pretended. King started smiling and surprised everyone when she began to sing the song as “Shy Girl, a remix.”

Diana King PHOTO: KIM RESCATE

The closing party at the Zoso Hotel was a wonderful way to end the five-day event. There was a performance by Katy Tiz, dancers on four platforms, and a great crowd. However, one of the funnier moments of our night was finding a flask in the upstairs couches. The owners stared and whispered at each other but didn’t dare ask us for it. When they left we moved to the other side of the couch and sure enough they came back a few minutes later. They sat down pretended to stretch and grabbed it from the “secret” spot.

Katy Tiz PHOTO: KIM RESCATE

Prior to driving back Monday morning we drove by the Forever Marilyn statue on Palm Canyon and Tahquitz Canyon. The sculpture created by American artist and Johnson & Johnson heir Seward Johnson is 26 ft. tall and was previously located at Pioneer Court along famed Michigan Avenue in Chicago.

This was our second time attending Dinah Shore and certainly not our last. Seeing women everywhere holding hands without fear, taking over the entire hotel, dancing, laughing and toasting to a wonderful time, it’s an experience you’ll be sure to dream about after.

In the week since I wrote my last column, scheduled Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (MWMF) performer Ubaka Hill released a statement in response to the Change.org petition asking that this year’s performers at the festival boycott the event.

She stated, “My response to your courageous request that I cancel my Drumsong Workshop and the Drumsong Performance by participating in a strategy of a boycott against my own employment, my fans, my students, my peers, my musical, spiritual and cultural community of womyn and against the collective MWMF community is this is not the method of change that I want to participate in. The old ones would say, ‘Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.’ ‘Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.’ I do listen to the teachings of the Elders. I speak only of the method and not the essential cause of which I want more inclusion in the discussion of change through peaceful dialogue and interaction. We must be watchful of horizontal hostility. There’s got to be a better way!”

As I opined recently, the womyn-born-womyn policy (WBW) has been in place for 36 of the 38 years of the festival’s existence. If talk alone could have changed the anti-transgender discriminatory policy born of prejudice, the policy would have changed long before now.

I’ve been thinking of what Martin Luther King Jr. said in the I’ve Been to the Mountaintop speech because of this situation. He talked about the parable of the Good Samaritan in the speech given on the day before he was assassinated, and how it applied to the civil rights struggles of his day. He said, “The first question which the priest and the Levite asked was: ‘If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?’ But … the Good Samaritan reversed the question: ‘If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?’”

It was three years ago this month I took to the White House fence with five other military veterans toward repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT). I put on the line in that protest.

Being retired from the U.S. Navy I receive a pension, and therefore I’m still subject to the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Navy Uniform Regulations state that as I’m a retiree I’m not allowed to protest in uniform. Failure to obey that regulation meant that if convicted at court martial, as was possible, I could have received as a maximum sentence forfeiture of my military pension, a dishonorable discharge, and confinement at a military brig for two years. And, if sentenced to the brig, I would have been confined with men because at the time the Department of Defense (DOD) considered me male.

I’m also a disabled veteran with service connected disabilities. If the character of my discharge changed from an honorable discharge to a bad conduct or dishonorable discharge, it would’ve resulted in my losing my VA disability pay and my VA health care.

Repeal of DADT didn’t change the DOD regulations on trans servicemembers. If one is trans, one isn’t allowed to join; if one is found to be, or admits to be trans while serving, one is discharged.

Yet knowing about the possible consequences of protesting, and knowing that participating in the protest wouldn’t change things for trans servicemembers, I still chose to act like the Good Samaritan, and not like the Levite of the parable. I chose to serve my LGB community siblings in their struggle toward them being able to serve openly.

What I’m discussing the MWMF WBW policy in this context is the three evils of prejudice, discrimination and segregation. I’m not asking the Indigo Girls or Ubaka Hill to do more than I did to join the struggle against a discriminatory policy born of prejudice.

Quoting Martin Luther King Jr. again, “He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it.”

It pains me to say that the performers at the MWMF – performers I know that are just trying to make a living at what they do well – are cooperating with those three evils, but they are free to do so.

But, trans people are just as free to apply pressure toward them not passively accepting evil.

Rev. Dan Koeshall Todd Gloria and Dr. Delores Jacobs

I am sometimes asked that if Jesus were walking the earth today, whether he would be standing up for social justice issues and promoting human rights. I immediately answer, “Yes.”

In looking at his life, all he did and all he was, that answer is a no-brainer. From tax collectors to shepherds to fishermen to Mary Magdalene, like colors in a rainbow, Jesus hung out with all “stripes” of people; especially the marginalized, the poor and the disadvantaged. It is no stretch to picture him today at a peaceful protest, testifying before Congress, or washing the feet of workers as I did at the Foot Washing Ceremony and Passover Ritual at St. Paul’s Cathedral during Holy Week.

And I don’t think it impossible to envision him supporting marriage equality. After all, Jesus was about inclusion, fairness and justice and love. Just as he physically did with the temple moneychangers, he upended the traditional “carts” of thinking of the time.

Another champion of justice, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The arc of history bends towards justice.” But like a flexible rod, that bend sometimes has a back-and-forth motion. We have certainly seen that with marriage equality. I reflect back Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008. Like so many, I had conflicting emotions as the election results came in; ecstatic with the election of our first African American president and devastated with the news that Prop. 8 had passed despite the massive effort by so many. We endured other defeats and yet, finally, we sense that we are on the brink of unparalleled forward-moving momentum for LGBT rights and equality.

Rev. Dan Koeshall and Kevin Beiser

In that spirit the community gathered at Metropolitan Community Church for a noontime Community Call to Prayer for Marriage Equality March 25. It was a service of prayer, music, mediation and readings of scripture and quotes from notable people supporting the freedom to marry, on the eve of the Supreme Court hearings on Prop. 8 and DOMA.

We heard inspiring perspectives from San Diego City Council President Todd Gloria and CEO of our LGBT Center, Dr. Delores Jacobs, who have worked tirelessly on behalf of justice and equality. Kevin Beiser of the San Diego Unified School Board was also in attendance. Together everyone assembled sang “We Shall Overcome,” a reminder of another great and ongoing struggle.

During a time of reflection, many people wrote prayers, hopes, dreams and affirmations regarding marriage equality on small, colorful notecards and tied them to our Tree of Justice. Our congregation and guests continue to add to the tree, which will remain in our main church foyer until the U.S. Supreme Court rulings, likely in June.

We also included an ecumenical prayer of aspiration and hope:

Tree of Justice

“We give thanks, O Divine Source, Creator of Freedom, Author of Justice, Foundation of Love, for Your abiding presence and wise counsel. In this season of new life and fulfillment of promise, we rejoice in the breaking of bonds that hold us back. In the power of inalienable truth, we celebrate all that is good, all that brings light and hope to the world, and all that enables people to rise to their greatest potential! May we be inspired and empowered to remove barriers that stand in the way of what is fair and just, fosters equality, and nurtures us in naturally loving – and being loved by – whomever that may be. For it is in love, that we find our renewal, our liberty, ourselves and our God.”

We came together for the service because the LGBT community stands at the threshold of a major potential victory. We gathered as a united community, LGBT and our allies, to be the voice that is needed for “such a time as this.” President Obama himself set the tone for this effort in his inaugural address when he spoke so movingly of Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall, linking forever the struggles for women’s rights, civil rights and LGBT rights.

And not stopping there, along with many others, he wrote an amicus brief for the hearings. As Bob Dylan so famously sang, “the times they are a-changin’.”

Last November voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington State approved same-sex marriage, and in Minnesota a restrictive amendment was defeated. That “arc” is visibly bending. In one recent poll, reports the Washington Blade, 58 percent of Americans now support marriage rights for same-sex couples.

Tree of Justice

I have faith that we will, once again, hear the bells chime for our marvelous weddings. Where the press and cameras won’t be reporting on the phenomenon because it will be common place and old news! Where I will be able to say, like I did in that four-month window of equality in 2008, “By the power vested in me by Metropolitan Community Churches and the state of California, I pronounce that you are married!” Then comes that delightful kiss! How sweet it is! And for people of faith, victory will come not in spite of our faith, but indeed because of it.

With the U.S. Supreme Court hearings, and now the months of waiting for a ruling, emotions are overwhelming; anxiety, hopefulness, giddiness and fear. For that reason, perhaps it was ideal that we concluded our special service by singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

After all, don’t we believe that the “dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”? We have perhaps tipped a cart that just can’t be put back. After the “storm” of Nov. 4, 2008, we sense a coming rainbow, one way or another.

And it is going to be fabulous. And blessed.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

The Hillcrest sign, at Fifth and University Avenues

Have you noticed the more and more gay-straight mixing in Hillcrest/North Park? It is becoming increasingly pronounced in the restaurants especially with the younger crowd. Friendly service greets all customers and they in turn pay no attention to the sexual make-up of the couple or group at the next table.

More and more of us are accepting the straights among us; no one makes cracks or suggests they find another place to hold hands or even kiss – although good manners would indicate decorum should be observed for the sake of our children we might have with us.

This invasion of straight people has a good reason: the wonderful variety of ethnic and national dishes to be found here – Italian, Mexican, Ethiopian, Greek, Asian/you-name-it and many more with recent additions from India, Israel and Pita (must look that up). And let’s not forget the vegan and vegetarian places where I am invariably surprised when I venture into their exotic, healthy choices. (What the heck is polenta? Doesn’t that have something to do with babies?)

I can’t help wondering what non-gays think of the snatches of conversation they must overhear. It happened to me just the other night in a popular gal-friendly place. The women behind us were screaming with laughter about a friend with a camel foot (hoof?) but neither I nor the guys at my table could figure it out. Probably lesbian slang, but who cares; a good time was had by all.

Get out and mingle with some straights; they can be quite nice.

A banquet memory

A recent invitation to a class reunion reminded me of the graduation banquet where I made a memorable speech. To honor a classmate (killed by a moose he was poaching off season) I was to read a poem by Miss Bream, the music teacher. It was so sweet and cloying we could have all ended up with saccharin poisoning.

Following me was to be our football hero (He made a few touchdowns – big fxxxing deal!) thanking the teachers for their wonderful help.

Unfortunately, Mr. Butch had an attack of stage fright, threw up over his speech and refused to go on. Everyone was stunned and speechless – except you-know-who!

Forget the stupid poem. I wiped off his speech, swept on stage and proceeded to ad lib what I couldn’t decipher through the guck.

Naturally I added a few things. For example, the gym teacher, a fascist lout who continually chose me last – even for dodge ball, I thanked for the contribution his face and other body parts had made to the many scatological wall drawings in the men’s locker room. I also thanked several jocks by name for promising to skip the bunny hop at the dance party after the banquet and lead us in the sissy strut.

I covered a lot of territory. The students, well-oiled from secret pre-banquet parties, didn’t notice anything. The teachers did and I was sternly frowned at by some and secretly beamed at by others. The gym teacher, too dumb to understand what I had said, continued choosing me last and I continued decorating the locker room.

Antonin Scalia

When Rick Santorum ran for president, people asked if I was offended as a gay man. My reply, “No, I’m offended as a Pennsylvania native.” Similarly, the Supreme Court arguments on marriage equality didn’t upset me as a gay man, but the suspicious use of data offended me as a scientist.

Let’s start with Justice Scalia, who suggested “there’s considerable disagreement among sociologists” about the effects of same-sex parenting. He makes it sound like American sociologists are duking this out in the literature. They aren’t. The American Sociological Association (ASA), who would seem to be something of an authority on the matter, report that the “clear and consistent consensus in the social science profession is that … children fare just as well when they are raised by same-sex parents.”

If Scalia knows two sociologists who argue vehemently about the matter, I suppose we could consider his comment only misleading. Otherwise, it’s either negligent or a fabrication. He can’t plead ignorance, as the ASA put that statement in their amicus brief on the case.

Justice Alito, on the other hand, warps data by changing the premise. “But you want us to step in and render a decision based on an assessment of the effects of this institution which is newer than cell phones or the Internet?” he decried in arguments.

Where to begin? First, it’s a little cyclical to say we can’t do something that’s banned because there is no data about what would happen if we do it, which we can’t, because it’s banned.

Further, same-sex marriages may be newer than cell phones and the Internet, but otherwise designated same-sex relationships have been not destroying society for quite a while. We allowed cell phones in part because of our positive experience with their precursors, the cordless and rotary phones. A similar optimistic deference seems fair for same-sex marriage. If Mississippi can survive soccer moms texting behind the wheel (which is as bad as drinking alcohol, BTW) it will surely survive the same-sex marriage. As for the Internet, anyone who thinks it represents a safe and well-thought out plan for spreading information without risk hasn’t been hacked and hasn’t been paying attention.

Indeed, one of the ironies is that the same justices would never require unproven medications or technologies to meet the standards they are setting for marriage equality. Those ventures are either assumed to be innocent, or are presented with safety criteria they must meet.

It’s telling that none of the justices bemoaning the novelty of same-sex marriage laid out a point at which they would be swayed by the data. Fifteen states? One million couples? Not marking the end zone is an invitation to move the goal posts.

Other justices wondered, either honestly or sarcastically, why we shouldn’t wait for more data from states acting as laboratories of democracy. That may seem tempting, but it’s a terrible idea because of something called reporting bias.

Put simply, you get the story the lab wants to tell, not the data you want to hear. Pharmaceutical companies rarely publish papers saying their drugs don’t work. States that don’t want marriage equality admitting the successes of same-sex couples is about as likely as a pharmaceutical company is to publish that their drug doesn’t work.

When there are so many barriers to good data, history can be instructive. When people discuss interracial marriage and Loving v. Virginia, no one says “Thank God we worked that out in the states!” Instead, we wonder why it took so long to treat people fairly.

So will it be with same-sex marriage. It doesn’t require more studies or state by state experimentation. It just requires at least five justices doing what they, and the voices of 40,000 California children, know is right.

Margaret Noble

White Box at Liberty Station is San Diego’s freshest performance space and it has truly come alive with thirteen evenings of live arts that began April 5 and continues on until April 21.

Live Arts Fest was created and curated by San Diego Dance Theater artistic director Jean Isaacs and the newly formed White Box Collective, a group of local emerging choreographers including Blythe Barton, Anne Gehman, Kerry Greenwood, Maria Juan, Zaquia Mahler Salinas and Minaqua McPherson. So far, the first annual Live Arts Fest is living up to its promise offering all types of live art including dance, puppetry, theater, music, light installations and more.

Check out the Web site to see what event appeals to you. In the meantime here are a couple of events to consider this week:

Justin Hudnall

Righteous Exploits by Margaret Noble and Justin Hudnall is the 100-year-long true story of a family rising out of and returning to poverty over the course of three generations. Dust Bowl-era activist heroine Helen Hosmer fought against the exploitation of agrarian workers in the face of persecution by McCarthy’s FBI, but her own family’s dissolution undermined the very ideals she championed. Told through a combination of live audio/visual multimedia and performance art, Margaret Noble pulls audiences through a time warp of cultural mishaps that reveal just how dirty the good fight can get when morality competes with survival, and civic duty undermines family.

LGBT community favorite Michael Mizerany and friends will premiere a brand new work, At Long Last…Love! as well as his award-winning solo Tin Soldier (“heart breaking and beautiful,” Kris Eitland, San Diego Story) and audience favorite Tethered. In addition the evening features performances by Stephanie Harvey, Andrew Holmes and Bradley R. Lundberg.

The Door is Open: An Intergenerational Dance Project by Kira Corser is a joy-filled 30-minute documentary that covers a year of working collaboratively with Jean Isaacs’ San Diego Dance Theater with a tango performance by Jim and Jo-Ellen Larue. For the last four years, Jo-Ellen and Jim have been studying Argentine Tango under the tutelage of Colette Hebert. Jim, now 80 years old, and his wife, Jo-Ellen, will perform a “Milonga,” a playful and fast-beat dance which preceded the better known Argentine Tango. They will dance Francisco Canaro’s Milonga Brava.

sandiegodancetheater.org/whitebox

Pretty much everyone is using at least one of the social network sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Pinterest or Instagram. We connect with friends, family and colleagues using these sites. Some connections we haven’t even met in person. What if these connections were used to determine our credit scores? It’s not happening on a large scale yet, but it’s starting to happen in a few places.

Every adult has a credit score, whether they know it or not. FICO is the most well known credit score with scores rating from 300 to 850. A person with a FICO score above 750 is considered excellent and will receive the lowest interest rates when applying for car loans, mortgages and credit cards. A FICO score below 600 is in the poor credit category. These folks will pay the highest interest rates if approved for credit.

For younger adults, it’s always been difficult to start building a credit history when no one will lend to them because they don’t have a credit history. It’s definitely a catch-22. It’s also an area in the lending industry a few new companies are focusing to serve. And they plan to use data from social network sites to determine a person’s creditworthiness.

One company called Neo Finance Inc. offers car loans to people without long credit histories. They use income and social data to determine to lend or not. For instance, Neo analyzes a person’s LinkedIn profile for employment history, the number and quality of connections and the job titles of those connections.

Another company called Affirm Inc. allows people to use their smartphones to pay for online purchases and avoid typing in credit card information. Consumers pay back Affirm within 30 days without being charged fees or interest. Affirm uses your Gmail or Facebook account to verify your identity. From there, they can use publicly available data to determine your creditworthiness.

Lenddo is a microfinance company that lends to people in Colombia and the Philippines with aspirations to grow into other countries. They analyze data from a borrower’s social networking profiles such as education, job history, who they are friends with and how many followers they have.

A potential borrower improves their creditworthiness by having other Lenddo users, called Trusted Connections, vouch for them. If you default on your loan, then your Trusted Connections will have their score negatively impacted as well. That’s peer-pressure to pay your bills on time!

This is still a very new concept to use social network information to determine a person’s creditworthiness and nothing to be concerned about right now. However, it’s interesting to be aware of it. In the meantime, be sure to know the people you connect with on social networks. Those connections, friends and followers might someday help determine if you get a loan or not.

Steve Doster is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional providing commission-free financial advice for do-it-yourself investors. You can reach Steve at Doster Financial Planning by phone 619-688-1192 or email steve@dosterfinancialplanning.com. You can also follow Steve on Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, or blog to get more personal finance advice and tips.

18-year-old and HIV

Recently, an 18 year-old-friend of mine told me his doctor told him he had HIV. This young gay man was upset but then told me he hardly ever used condoms and none of his other young friends used them either.

What the hell! It’s unbelievable, but many of our younger generation I find really has this carefree attitude. Everyone should practice safer-sex because HIV/AIDS can happen to you. Just ask my friend.

Cesar Chavez

In the 1970s farm workers leader and now civil rights icon Cesar Chavez became the first civil rights leader to come out for homosexual equality.

Chavez and the late Harvey Milk became friends and Milk supported the grape boycott and Latino causes.

In the 1980s I asked Cesar Chavez to come march and speak at the March on Washington for gay rights, and he did and I had the honor of introducing him at the rally where he spoke to hundreds of thousands of people. Later Chavez would say it was the biggest crowd he ever spoke to.

Supporting gun control

It’s time that all Americans stand up to the bullying of the National Rifle Association (NRA) and support more gun control laws. It’s unbelievable and very disturbing how much power and influence that the NRA has over our Congress and Senate.

The growing gun violence and murders of innocent people makes headlines almost every week and yet it seems no one cares enough to try to stop the madness.

When will Americans finally wake up and take action and speak up for more gun control?

Women’s health issues under attack

Now more than ever, the radical right wing conservatives have taken aim at women’s rights to choose Planned Parenthood.

Many states are introducing new legislation in attempts to cut funding for Planned Parenthood and stop women’s right to choose and decide on their own personal health issues.

These new proposed laws especially affect poor women and those of color. It is important that we support women’s rights to choose and make their own personal decisions on health issues.

Happy Birthday Pastor Dan!

The Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) has been a most important foundation for the GLBT community of San Diego since the 1970s and its church pastors have all become very important and respected leaders for social justice and equality for all people.

The MCC has always welcomed all Christians and made everyone feel welcomed.

This week Pastor Dan celebrated another birthday and he has indeed become a role model for us all. Kind, giving and always a smile for everyone he meets.

I wish him a most happy birthday and thank him for all he has done for so many. God bless you, Pastor Dan.

Nicole’s quickie movie reviews

Oz the Great and Powerful: Best ever movie that truly continues the Wizard of Oz story in a believable and exciting way.

The Croods: These cartoon-like movies are really getting out of hand. A very stupid movie.

Olympus Has Fallen: a must-see movie! But it’s so real, especially with the North Korea current headlines. It kinda hits too close to home for comfort.

Jack the Giant Slayer: You would rather go to the dentist than see this movie!

The Supreme Court

The oral arguments on Proposition 8 (Hollingsworth v. Perry) and the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA, United States v. Windsor) are over, and the pundits have had a week to sift through the transcripts ad nauseum. I think it’s only fair to take a look at what Politically Aware got right and wrong. http://lgbtweekly.com/?p=35247

First, I added some lawyers and skipped others. In Hollingsworth, there weren’t any San Francisco lawyers. In Windsor, Vicki C. Jackson was asked by the Court to argue against the standing of the Department of Justice (DOJ) and the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group (BLAG). Sri Srinivasan argued those points for the DOJ, and Roberta Kaplan represented Edie Windsor. On to the issues.

For Hollingsworth v. Perry, some of you probably thought five possible outcomes were too many. Turns out they are now at 3 more, though the end result for California is often the same.

Neophyte analysts like myself added a new phrase to our lexicons: “Dismissed as improvidently granted,” or “DIG”. This means the Court decides it shouldn’t have taken the case in the first place.

It can happen, because it only requires four justices to accept a case, but five to make a decision. In light of Justice Kennedy’s comment that “I just wonder if – if the case was properly granted,” DIG seems a real possibility. Justice Scalia’s assertion on dismissal, that “It’s too late for that,” suggests that it was the conservatives, or at least he, who wanted the case. If Kennedy can convince others to “DIG” it, the Ninth Circuit decision invalidating Proposition 8 stands and it’s back to the altar for same-sex couples in California.

If Kennedy wants to DIG, but can’t get four others to shovel, we could go to option 7: No decision. If three justices want to uphold Proposition 8, three want to strike it down, and three want to DIG it, there is no decision and again, the Ninth Circuit decision overturning Prop. 8 becomes binding.

Option 8 is a little trickier. Though Windsor was argued second, it could be decided first. To buy a couple more years, the Supremes could decide the DOMA case, and send Perry back to the Ninth Circuit, to be reconsidered in light of the DOMA decision.

The Justices largely behaved as expected on Prop. 8, at least with regard to California. Thomas said nothing. Scalia, Roberts and Alito seemed willing to uphold it. Kennedy seemed tortured, questioning the strength of the data concerning the efficacy of same-sex parenting while worrying about the voices of the children of same-sex parents. Ginsburg, Sotomayor, Kagan and Breyer seemed ready to strike it down. If there was a disappointment from the liberal side, it was that they seemed unready to endorse a nationwide fundamental right to same-sex marriage.

Compared to before the arguments, a sweeping decision overturning all bans seems less likely and upholding Prop. 8 seems slightly less unlikely. Sadly, the smart money is probably on a DIG or a dodge, perhaps based on standing, the issue on which Chief Justice Roberts forced all lawyers to start.

The Justices also held true to form in Windsor, suggesting there are five votes to strike down DOMA, but perhaps not the way Solicitor General Verrilli would have liked. Verrilli singularly pushed the idea that DOMA was unconstitutional on equal protection grounds, despite entreaties from Kennedy to discuss states’ rights. In retrospect it shouldn’t be a surprise, since the DOJ will rarely be on the side of limiting federal powers and an equal protection decision would buttress arguments for overturning all the same-sex marriage bans.

Justice Kagan had the moment of the week responding to Paul Clement’s argument that DOMA was passed to ensure uniformity in federal marriage recognition. “I’m going to quote from the House Report here,” said Kagan, “… Congress decided to reflect an honor of collective moral judgment and to express moral disapproval of homosexuality.” That may not sound dangerous, but it was a shot aimed right at Justice Kennedy, who’s Lawrence v. Texas decision said moral disapproval didn’t justify laws against sodomy.

Still, it’s not clear that DOMA will be decided on equal protection. The legal odds-makers still think it’s going down, but more likely with four equal protection votes and Justice Kennedy agreeing on federalism, preventing a precedent that laws discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation require higher scrutiny.

That’s how the tea leaves are falling now. Can the senators coming out for same-sex marriage or rapidly swinging public opinion change their minds? We’ll likely know the decision by June, but we may not know all the reasons until the current Justices release their papers after their retirement.

Kevin Greeland

Local artist and teacher Kevin Greeland has been working on a large project for quite some time. I know this because he has periodically asked me to make some test prints of a self-portrait painted with a tea bag. Yes, a tea bag. The first attempts were a bit muddy, but the final three “drawings” were just right. The portraits are nice and simple, but not necessarily true. The bearded faces are considerably more severe than the real Kevin Greeland who is a genial guy and ever smiling. But the tea bag effect is pleasing; it’s a brush stroke somewhere between bold and watery.

These large portraits (along with many smaller leaflet-size replications) are just one element of Fragments from the Garden, Greeland’s intricate installation that fills the Art Department Galley and class space on Ray Street. Like many of you I have done Ray Street a number of times through the years and I’ve enjoyed several exhibitions of student work at the Art Department, one of the larger and more permanent spaces on the narrow lane in the heart of North Park. Never before, however, have I experienced an exhibition that has made me experience the space with a fresh set of eyes. This one did.

There are two reasons for this. First, Greeland somehow got permission to paint over the generic off-white walls with a royal shade of purple. This bold gesture is striking. It makes the expansive room cozy, it draws you in and it primes viewers for an intimate experience of Greeland’s Garden world.

Fragments from the Garden

The second reason why the Art Department space came alive for me on the opening night of the show was because of an unexpected performance taking place inside the large storefront window right next to the entrance. Music filled the exhibition space but the two women taking part in the performance remained silent except for their shuffling and moving and other improvisational gestures. I arrived just as shoes were being moved and thrown, assembled and reassembled on the gallery floor. It was weird and grabbed my lazy attention as soon as I entered. Performance art does that. It sneaks up on you in improbable places. Whether you like it (or understand it) or not, it is always arresting and so was this.

From there you enter Greeland’s unearthed garden of delights.

Fragments from the Garden closes with Ray at Night April 13 (6-10 p.m.) and I urge you to stop by. The performers will be back, as well as the music and the purple walls will still be there. So too will Greeland, possible wearing a bow tie. He’ll have a twinkle in his eye and will happily explain his process in his rhythmic Southern lilt. But don’t rush in and out. This is a small exhibition with many details and set pieces all of which are worth savoring. Greeland has imagined, excavated and presented an array of interesting fragments, from small gophers popping out of sand to a pile of small skulls to an intricate shrine dedicated to the face and fluids of a number of handsome men.

I’ll leave you on that note because I am sure it captured your attention. I hope to see you there.

Marva Dawn has written a book called Keeping The Sabbath Wholly. She’s a great writer. The book is practical yet able to draw this beautiful picture of what Sabbath time with God can be, and what’s at stake if we don’t make time for it. In the book she describes the wonderful shape Sabbath might take when we stop working, stop worrying and stop trying to stuff 200 hours worth of activity into our 168-hour weeks.

Making Sabbath time might include things like savoring a relaxing meal. Enjoying a leisurely walk outside. Shutting all work-related books and papers away into a cabinet … out of sight, out of mind. Right? Inspiring book – right?

Until you get to chapter 4, when she casually mentions that she’s a single person with no children and an academic’s schedule. At this point, many people might be tempted to toss the book aside and give up.

Rev. Shelley Cunningham put it this way. “I know I need Sabbath. I don’t know how to get it, but I need it. So, I’ve tried to tackle this whole Sabbath idea in more bite-sized portions. Less like Sabbath ‘chunks’ and more like Sabbath ‘moments.’”

I’m still going to the gym and working out and I’ve been told to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to do it – so, if you can’t do it all at once, try for three 10-minute increments.

Instead of thinking I can’t possibly find a whole day for rest, try for a few minutes every day. Light candles at dinner. Pick up your Bible or a devotional instead of Words with Friends before you go to sleep. Breathe deeply, especially when you’re about to get upset! I’m a work in progress. You’re a work in progress. It’s about intentionally asking what is God inviting me to do in this moment?

Sabbath is better in community.

We hear this in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one, for they can help one another succeed.

If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. One person standing alone can be defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”

As a single person, this text can feel like just one more reminder that I’m going at it without a partner. I’ve read this at so many holy unions and weddings – and I am sincerely happy for the couple, but in my mind I’m asking, “When will it be my turn?” Always the preacher and never the bride!

Being single can seem magnified when it seems the world is made for couples. But let’s be honest, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t feel alone. In fact, if your relationship is unhealthy or dysfunctional or just plain dead, you might feel even more alone.

Dorothy Day once described her life as “the long loneliness.” I get that feeling sometimes – Don’t you? But she also said, “We have all known the long loneliness, and we have learned that the only solution is love, and that love comes with community.”

Not just with a spouse, or with a partner, or with children. But with others – people of all ages and shapes and colors. With God’s fabulous creation who can be on the journey with us.

It’s that we’re aware of it. We’re paying attention to what God is doing. We’re looking for God’s presence. Isn’t that part of what Sabbath keeping is all about? An increased sense of the holy all around us?

Oh, the power of community. There are wonderful implications to the value of community when it comes to Sabbath – both in the way we keep it, and that we do keep it. For one thing, there’s the accountability factor. It’s way too easy to let things slip when we have only ourselves to answer to. There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. Community helps us see things about ourselves we can’t necessarily see.

Who do you have in your life who can help you focus on time with God? And, who can you help keep focused?

When we come together as a community, we are reminded that God says we’re wonderful, beautiful, unique – awesome! When the world around us might be telling us otherwise. Or when we’re listening to old tapes from our parents or the churches we grew up in. Knowing who we are is so very helpful when it comes to feeling connected to God. It’s a reminder of who we are and whose we are. This kind of community is essential. Never underestimate the kind of effect you have on people and the gifts that you bring to others.

But just as important, is that community brings a measure of truth to the limits we have. That’s where Sabbath comes in. You can’t do everything. You don’t have to fix everything. And Sabbath is our way to remember that.

Last week I had a vacation that turned into a staycation. It started on Monday. I was talking with my neighbors and they said they had thrown wildflower seeds in a portion of my front yard that I had pretty much neglected for the past couple of years, and those wildflowers were starting to spring up and grow! I thought to myself, Oh my – they’re getting tired of looking at weeds and want to see something pretty.

So, since I had some time I was able to take a closer look – and sure enough, I could see wildflowers growing here and there. And I knew I’d never be able to enjoy them if I didn’t get rid of the grass and weeds that were already choking them. Someone asked me how I spent my vacation – and I responded – “on my knees!” I was in my front yard, on my knees pulling weeds – in the dirt. And I thought, this is a huge project, and I could complain about my aching back – but then, it started to become fun. It was therapeutic. I had time to think. I didn’t have music on, only the sound of the birds. Butterflies would wisp by me and I’d get a whiff of a flowering tree on the other side of the yard. A hawk even came and landed in my birdbath and stayed there for quite awhile before hopping off and getting a lizard and flying off – not 20 feet from me!

I had time to think – and let my mind wander. I was so grateful for the opportunity to have the time (to take the time) to take a closer look. Because it was in taking a closer look I was able to see the wildflowers. Sabbath–taking is natural therapy. And I sure was getting a big dose of it and I knew healing was taking place on many hidden levels despite the cramps and aches.

You know, no one ever said this process would be easy. It’s not easy. But it is important. And it does matter. So keep trying. Keep paying attention. Because whatever this theme of Sabbath-keeping is doing in you, one thing is certain: God is stirring you. God is touching a nerve, speaking to your heart, showing you just how much you need Sabbath rest and peace.

And I trust that as this season goes along, we will be changed. Because when God starts stirring, things happen – holy things. And there’s a joy that comes in experiencing those things with others. Amen

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

wtf? where’s the faith?

BY REV. DAN KOESHALL

One of the things I love about our church is the diversity we have. Look around – people come from all walks of life and from many different denominations, church experiences and spiritual paths. We are a community church built on the premises of what our founder, Troy Perry called the three-prong gospel: Christian salvation, Christian community and Christian social action. All are welcome here.

Our approach to faith and Christianity is one of openness, inclusiveness and even exploration. In striving to embrace and celebrate diversity, we don’t say what or how a person has to believe in order to find full fellowship in this community of faith. Everyone is encouraged to bring their own personal perspectives, questions and doubts. Some would call this progressive Christianity – open to considering new ideas and understandings. God is not neatly tucked into a box.

I am blessed to meet with a full range of clergy, imams and rabbis throughout the year. It’s enriching and invigorating to my spirit. God is so big! So, what does this have to do with Easter?

Rev. Fred Plumer told of how he was asked the question, “Do you think the Easter Story is true?” He answered the question as fast as he was asked it, “It must be true. I don’t think the church would have survived for 2,000 years if it wasn’t.” Hmm … that’s a long time.

And here we are – in 2013 – still telling the story of Jesus and what is true are those timeless lessons that Jesus left his followers and ultimately us. What is true is that anyone can experience the “kingdom” or the Realm of God. What is true is that when we experience that Realm, we wouldn’t want to live any other way. And then Jesus told his followers how to do it.

He told us that he could not do it for us. It’s up to us to choose to walk the path. It’s up to us to learn to live a certain way, to think a certain way and to be a certain way. It’s up to us to develop the eyes to see and the ears to hear that the world around us and all we come in contact with are part of God’s creation.

What is true is that when we learn to take responsibility for our actions, make amends for those whom we have harmed and change what we have to change, so that it won’t happen again, then our lives will be different. We’ll begin to experience a true freedom.

What is true is that if we begin to trust that God ultimately has our best interest at heart, we might discover that everything that we do, every action we take, every mistake that we make becomes a new lesson and an opportunity – a lesson we needed to learn. And if we learn from those lessons and put them in perspective we’ll begin to live a full and spiritually fulfilling life.

Rev. Plumer went on to say that what is true is that if we want to stop feeling lonely, if we want to stop feeling isolated, if we want to experience God’s light in others and in ourselves, we have to learn how to stop judging others. For as long as we are judging others, we are judging ourselves, we are judging the world and we are judging God the Creator.

What is true is that learning to forgive others and ourselves is the first step to true freedom. If we want to move forward with our lives, if we want to lift the burdens from our back and remove the stones from our hearts, we must learn to forgive those who we believe have harmed us. Carrying the weight of anger, or judgment, or hurt around, because we cannot let it go, is simply debilitating.

What is true is that we need to learn to love the way God loves us; the way a mother loves her unborn child. When we learn to love our neighbor, even our enemies, as we love ourselves, all of the false barriers, prejudice, racism, classism, ageism and so many other “isms” begin to fall away. When we reach out in compassion to one who needs us or can learn from us, or can be healed by us, then we discover God’s light in them and it helps our light burn brighter. Then we discover we are all connected – we are not alone.

What is true, he goes on, is that if we want to experience the Realm of God, we need to live with a generous heart. We need to be generous with our love, with our time, with our assets. When we hold back, when we hold on, when we try to control and horde anything, it will rot in our hearts; it will spoil in our storage units; it will build up spiritual cholesterol in our lives. Jesus taught that we should not worry about what we eat, what we drink or what we wear or how long we will live. What is true is that when we live with a generous heart we learn that our attachments can become our prison and we can discover how to be free.

What is true is that Jesus taught that life is a gift – it is a rare and precious opportunity. If we treat it like a gift to be cherished, to be celebrated, to be appreciated, our lives will take on new meaning. Our death will have no sting. Life is an opportunity, not a chore that we must simply trudge through.

Jesus didn’t necessarily do something for us through his death; he did something for us through his life! He taught his followers with parables and told them to “go and do likewise.” We are to live it; to risk it; to become it.

If the Easter Story is true, (and I believe it is), it means we have to rethink our values, our priorities, our lives. It means we have to learn to trust God, to give up some of the control we hold on to. It means we have to let go of the attachments that we believe define us. It means we have to stop trying to be No. 1 or feeling badly because we’re not No. 1 and learn how to live as one within God’s great creation, by how we love.

Jesus shared the truth that the Realm of God, that ultimate relationship with God and with one another was available to anyone. That’s the Good News that we celebrate on Easter Sunday; that’s the good news that we can celebrate every day.

How can you know that it is true? Jesus said, “You will know by the fruit that it bears.” In other words, you will know by the peace, the fulfillment, by the contentment, by the joy that it brings to you. You will know it by living it.

There’s a song I grew up singing in church and there is a line in it that says, “You ask me how I know he lives – he lives within my heart.”

My prayer is that you will each experience new life and your own (personal) life-giving truths – and that you live in the love and resurrection power of the Risen Christ! Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

San Diego Sparks

There’s no doubt about it. San Diego is a great city to live in if you’re an athlete and a member of the LGBT community.

With many LGBT-founded leagues and teams in the area, there are opportunities for practically any sports fan. Athletes of all skill levels are welcome to join, compete and, perhaps most importantly, have fun in a safe and welcoming environment. Although it’s not a requirement to be gay to join any of these teams, the majority of the members are and all members are gay-friendly.

While joining a sporting team is great for your health, it’s also wonderful for your social life. Many of these leagues plan other non-athletic events and activities as well.

San Diego American Flag Football League

While the San Diego American Flag Football League (SDAFFL) may be one of the newer LGBT-friendly sporting leagues in the area, it’s also one of the fastest growing. Since 2004, the SDAFFL has grown to more than 250 players, men and women, spread throughout 16 teams. One of the league’s teams, the San Diego Bolts, won the Gay Bowl XII, a flag football national championship, last year.

Experience level isn’t a factor with the non-profit league and the teams are evenly mixed with experienced athletes and newcomers to the sport. Everyone plays as one division and everyone gets a chance to participate.

“For me, it has always been a personal mission to target people who have never played an organized team sport before,” said Russ Edra, PR representative for SDAFFL. “Maybe those folks who growing up were bullied or called sissy or were the last kid picked on a team.” The Flag Football League strives to make everyone feel included, on and off the field. They regularly get together after Saturday games in La Jolla and hang out at a sponsored bar. On some occasions, as many as 200 players and supporters attend these post-game gatherings.

As a way to give back to the community, the SDAFFL participates in various charities, including joining the other LGBT-friendly sporting leagues in contributing to a fundraiser every Christmas.

About 85 percent of the league’s members are gay and the league is open to both gay and straight players.

“It started with a bunch of guys just wanting to play football and drink beer,” said Edra, who has played in the league since 2011. “It developed into one of the largest leagues of its kind in the nation.”

The SDAFFL is currently in the midst of its season, which ends in June. For those interested in participating next year, clinics and the draft take place at the beginning of the year. For more information, visit sdffl.org

Step up to the plate with America’s Finest City Softball League

As the oldest consecutively-running adult softball league in San Diego County, America’s Finest City Softball League (AFCSL) has quite the history. Created by and for the LGBT community in 1981, the league has grown from two or three teams to include more than 500 players on 40 teams this year.

“In 32 years we have never lost sight of being a welcoming place for everyone,” said manager and player Roman Jimenez. “If you’re that athlete who grew up playing sports and who feels at home on the softball diamond, or you’re the player who grew up being the awkward kid always last picked for dodge ball, we have a place for you, whether you’re lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.”

While more than 95 percent of the leagues members are part of the LGBT community, the AFCSL welcomes non-gay members as well.

The AFCSL is split into halves: the Open Division for men and women and the Women’s Division. Each half is further split into divisions based on skill level to ensure a fun and competitive environment for all players.

In addition to the spring and fall seasons, there are several major sporting events in which the league participates. The Autumn Classic Softball Tournament, held every October, is the third largest annual gay sporting event in the world. The best players in the Open Division and Women’s Division also participate in, respectively, the Gay Softball World Series and the Women’s Softball World Series.

Aside from practices and games, members of the AFCSL also enjoy various social events, including the San Diego Pride Festival and Out at the Park, a yearly trip to Petco Park.

“To me, this organization is about family,” Jimenez said. “My ‘family’ plays here. Softball is the means through which we socialize, get caught up, mend each other’s broken hearts, celebrate our successes and mourn each other’s all-too-early passing. It’s where many of us meet our partners in crime, and where we meet our partners in life.”

For more information, visit afcsl.org

Score a goal with the San Diego Sparks

In 1986, Leslie Randolph moved from New York to San Diego and founded the first gay soccer team in the city, the San Diego Sparks. Nearly 27 years later, it’s still the only official gay team in the San Diego County Soccer League.

The Sparks, who are currently first in the league, have traveled to and won several international tournaments. The team plans to compete in the third World Outgames in Belgium this summer.

Not all members of the team participate competitively and there is no requirement for a certain experience level. While the more advanced players take the field on Sundays to compete in league games, other team members gather to practice in Balboa Park.

“We want people out there who have a good attitude about soccer,” Randolph said. “There are no specific requirements for joining the club. We just expect that people will want to come out and have that special camaraderie and special feeling of having a second family.”

The team, along with some of its former members, gathers for social events off the field as well. In addition to marching in the San Diego LGBT Pride parade, they regularly meet for parties, dinner and trips to the movies.

San Diego Flag Football League

Although the team started as a co-ed team, the women broke off in the late 1980s and the team is now men-only. The majority of the members are gay but straight men are welcome to join as well.

“We are always looking for players, specifically a goalkeeper right now,” said Randolph. “We love it when we get skilled players so they can join us at the different tournaments throughout the world. But we take what we get and teach people to play the game.”

For more information, visit sparkssoccer.org

Swim with Different Strokes Swim Team

Founded in 1985, the Different Strokes Swim Team (DSST) is one of the oldest gay sports teams in San Diego. It began as a place for swimmers to practice and have fun together at a time when there weren’t a lot of gay-friendly opportunities.

“A few decades ago when the team was started, it was one of the few gay outlets where people could be themselves,” said Robert Lucas, swimmer and webmaster/publicity for DSST. “As people have more outlets and are accepted more generally in society, the team has gone from being the center of many members’ social lives to just one aspect.”

From 1985-2002, the swim team has sent members to compete in select Gay Games. Recently, the team size has dwindled and now consists of mainly recreational swimmers with just a few competitive swimmers.

Annual charity events and monthly social gatherings and fundraisers encourage members “to get to know each other better and meet their better halves,” according to Lucas. Different Strokes participates in the LGBT Pride parade and members often get together for holidays.

An annual charity event, the Bart Hopple Memorial Swim, scheduled for May 19 and named in honor of the team’s co-founder, raises money for people living with HIV/AIDS. In an effort to reach out to a broader swimming community, the club will also hold a recreational race, The Flaming Gatorman, Sept. 7.

Different Strokes is always looking for new members and as an added incentive, new members can swim for free for two weeks. Men and women of all skill levels are welcome and coaches are available to help newer swimmers.

“It can be tough for new members to come to a practice cold and not know anyone,” acknowledged Lucas, “but our coaches will make you feel welcome and we’ll have plenty of eye candy to make it worth your while!”

For more information, visit dsst.org

additional LGBT-friendly sporting leagues

San Diego Hoops

Since 1999, San Diego Hoops has provided the LGBT community with a fun, welcoming place to slam dunk. The league currently consists of nine teams that play an 18-week schedule from October through March. During the off season, they participate in an open gym practice. Both men and women are welcome to join. sdhoops.net

San Diego Pool League

Open to anyone 21 years of age and older, the San Diego Pool League welcomes all participants regardless of sexual orientation. There are two seasons, spring and fall, and teams are divided into divisions based on experience level. sdpool.org

San Diego Gay Bowling

San Diego Gay Bowling offers a variety of leagues, including the Rainbow League, High Rollers and Easy Pickups. The league uses a handicap system to even out the playing field and all experience levels are welcome. About 95 percent of the league participants, men and women, are gay and the remaining are gay-friendly. sdgaybowling.org

Rainbow Dart League

Join this competitive dart league and enjoy weekly meetings at a variety of bars throughout San Diego. Contact Rod George at rodsd@aol.com for more information.

The San Diego Armada Rugby Club

This men’s rugby club welcomes all gay and minority men and fosters social and community interactions that are a natural outgrowth of team sports. sdarmada.com

San Diego Surfers Women’s Rugby Club

Since in 1975, women have joined the San Diego Surfers for a fun, competitive time. All levels of rugby experience are welcome and everyone is invited to join as a player or spectator. sdsurfersrugby.com

San Diego Tennis Federation

With more than 200 members, the SDTF offers tennis players a competitive and social environment. The gay and lesbian, non-profit organization is open to every level from beginner to advanced and plays year-round. sdtf.org

San Diego Wrestling Club

Practice amateur wrestling in a club that is accepting of all people regardless of skill level or sexual orientation. The San Diego Wrestling Club was founded in 1998 and is open to anyone over the age of 18. sdwrestling.org

North Park sign at dusk near the intersection of 30th Street and University Avenue

North Park is a shifting neighborhood of San Diego with a rich and interesting history. From its conception in 1893 to the current process of revitalization, this culturally diverse segment of our great city continues to progress while maintaining its remarkable architectural history.

In the summer of 1893, merchant Joseph Nash, sold 40 acres of land to James Monroe Hartley who wished to develop a lemon grove. The complex process of preparing the earth for planting began; however adequate irrigation was not readily available. As such, water was hauled from downtown San Diego via a wagon trail, now known as Pershing Avenue.

With the continuous growth of San Diego, development eventually caught up with the original Hartley grove and the neighborhood boundaries were constricted from what they are today. James Hartley deemed his area “Hartley’s North Park.” Years later the name stuck as the City of San Diego referred to the new suburb as “North Park.”

92104 is a neighborhood comprised of mixed architectural styles from various eras. One of the most notable areas of North Park is Morley Field, named for its proximity to Balboa Park’s Morley Field Sports Complex. Many homes along 28th and Pershing Streets are lined with turn of the century Craftsman bungalows and California bungalows, many designed by renowned designer and builder David Owen Dryden.

Later in the 1910s, North Park became one of the many San Diego neighborhoods connected by the Class 1 streetcars and an extensive San Diego public transit system spurred by the Panama-California Exposition of 1915 and built by John D. Spreckels.

These street cars became a fixture of this neighborhood until their retirement in 1939. Based on the upcoming centennial celebration of the 1915 Exposition, plans are currently underway to restore streetcar service from downtown San Diego up Park Blvd. to Balboa Park by 2015. Once running on their original rail, the streetcars are eligible for state and national historic designation.

With an influx of new art galleries, coffee shops, boutiques and foodie-approved eateries, North Park is an urban village proving to be rich in San Diego history while moving forward with innovative and exciting renovations.

North Park is home to the Ray Street Arts District. Ray at Night is a gallery walk held the second Saturday of every month.

Celebrating good cheer every December, North Park holds its annual North Park Lions Club Holiday Parade, formerly known as the North Park Toyland Parade.

Finally, the North Park Farmers’ Market is held every Thursday from 3-7 p.m. Located on North Park Way between 32nd Street and Herman Avenue, this is a great place to meet your neighbors, listen to live music and sample local taste treats.

Ron Monigold is a Licensed Real Estate agent and a Certified Real Estate Appraiser. He is a member of the National, California, and San Diego Association of Realtors. You can reach Ron at The Metropolitan Group at 619-990-4631 or at ronmetro@cox.net. DRE License # 01865841.

Health Savings Accounts, or HSAs, are available to people that have a high-deductible health insurance plan. The HSA is used for medical expenses such as your deductible, co-payments, medications, prescription glasses and dental care. The cash deposited into an HSA is pre-tax money. And money withdrawn from the HSA is also tax-free if used for the qualified medical expenses just mentioned.

Think of HSA contributions as being similar to 401(k) contributions, but in an account that’s accessible for medical expenses. You can deposit up to $3,250 for a single person or $6,450 per family for 2013. If you are 55 or older, then you can deposit up to $4,250 for a single person or $7,450 for a family.

Many people may already be aware of this great tax-free benefit by contributing to an HSA. Still not convinced to contribute to an HSA? Then please read on.

The money put into an HSA doesn’t have to be used each year. Any unused money can be used the following year or in 20 years! There is no time limit to use the money and HSAs are not “use-it-or-lose-it” accounts like their inferior cousin called flexible spending accounts (FSAs). The ability to accumulate a balance in your HSA is one of the key factors that make it such a great deal.

The other key factor is that the money saved up in an HSA can be invested in mutual funds. This allows your money to grow tax-deferred until you need it for future medical expenses. And what might be some of these future medical expenses? Glad you asked because now we get into the cool stuff.

Younger people far from retirement probably don’t know this, but Medicare isn’t free. Medicare has a monthly premium of $105 per month, deductibles, co-pays and prescription drug costs. We all have plenty of future medical expenses to look forward to.

This is where the power of an HSA really starts to pay off. Accumulating an HSA balance is just like saving for retirement, but this money is specifically set aside for your future Medicare costs in retirement. And don’t forget that it’s all tax-free money!

So let’s use an example to show how this might work. Joe is a 35-year-old guy that diligently contributes $3,250 per year to his HSA for 30-years until he’s 65 years old. He used about a third of each year’s contribution for medical expenses, but allowed the other two-thirds to accumulate in his HSA. Joe chose low-cost mutual funds to invest his growing HSA balance and was able to earn an average annual return of 5 percent.

What is Joe’s balance in his HSA when he retires at age 65? If you guessed $144,000 then you would be correct. Imagine having that much money saved up to pay for future Medicare costs! All of Joe’s friends will be paying their Medicare with after-tax money while Joe pays his with tax-free money.

Joe is one smart dude. His HSA was good for his health and even better for his wallet. Next time you select health insurance, be sure to take a look at a high deductible plan. If it’s right for you, then be sure to open an HSA to take full advantage of this great benefit.

Steve Doster is a Certified Financial Planner™ professional providing commission-free financial advice for do-it-yourself investors. You can reach Steve at Doster Financial Planning by phone 619-688-1192 or email steve@dosterfinancialplanning.com. You can also follow Steve on Facebook, Linked In, Twitter, or blog to get more personal finance advice and tips.

Pope Francis

Many of us Catholics feel that our church has left us. We have not left the church. The last two popes, especially, have used very hurtful and ugly words when talking about homosexuality, divorce, adoption, women’s rights, etc., etc.

I truly believe if Jesus came down to Earth he would weep when he would see how so many Christian leaders use his name and teachings to hurt people and turn them away.

I’ve been a Catholic all my life and when I was an altar boy I dreamed of becoming a priest. (Well actually a cardinal.) Even in my youth I truly remember the “rumors” about our parish priest being “strange.” The facts are that we all know now that the Catholic Church has been corrupt and full of scandal for decades, especially in America.

The Church has sent so many mixed messages to us Catholics: you could not eat meat on Fridays and now you can. Some of the saints you worshiped as a child were later regarded as not really saints.

I know I was born a homosexual and I know that we are all God’s children. But my church has attacked me and yet many of us GLBT Catholics have and will hold on to our faith until the day we die.

For me some of the biggest hurt from my church came right here in San Diego when the still current local bishop and the Catholic Church refused to bury two good friends of mine named John. I will never ever forget the pain and suffering the Johns’ family and friends went through. And we all know that it was only because of the public pressure and media that this bishop finally granted them Catholic funerals.

Another deep hurt for me and other Catholics was during the early dark years of AIDS when I and former state Assemblyman Peter Chacon called upon this very same local San Diego bishop to say a mass for people with AIDS. He refused.

So after I let it be known to this bishop that I was prepared to organize a silent peaceful vigil protest on Christmas Eve at St. Joseph’s Cathedral, where he was scheduled to say mass … that parents, families and friends of those who had died of AIDS and were in fact in those days dying from AIDS would join me … this same San Diego bishop agreed to say a mass.

This year this San Diego bishop is finally retiring. He has hurt so many in his flock and I pray that our new bishop will be more compassionate and loving of all his flock.

Our new Pope Francis has also said some hurtful things when he was a cardinal in Argentina; but now he is our pope and what I’ve seen and heard so far I have hope that he will be more compassionate and loving when it comes to us homosexual Catholics.

I know in my heart that Pope Francis and my Catholic Church will not change their views on divorce, homosexuality, birth control, etc. in my lifetime, but I have hope that our new pope and new San Diego bishop will be more loving and caring of all of us Catholics.

Many of us pray for a kinder, gentler and caring pope and church and in my heart I hope and, yes, believe Pope Francis could be that bishop of Rome who truly loves all his flock and will not speak with words of hurt and harm.

I pray for our new pope and now, no matter what, know that I have been and will always be a Catholic.

The Iraq War

It has been said that “those who do not know their history are doomed to repeat it.” Many of us have witnessed both the Vietnam and Iraq Wars and they are, in all reality, the same.

This now marks the 10th anniversary of the Iraq War and almost 5,000 American soldiers have died and more than 30,000 wounded. More than $2 trillion has been spent on the Iraq War while thousands of Americans go to bed hungry every night.

We lost the Vietnam War and, yes, we have lost the Iraq War. These two countries’ people dislike Americans and this will never change.

I have known young men who have died in both wars. I know families who will grieve forever. I know veterans who are suffering … all for what?

We now know that our presidents and government lied to its citizens about the facts about both wars.

America seems to always have tried to buy friends and change foreign governments with money and the blood of our young soldiers.

Nothing has changed these last decades and we have not learned from history.

We should always be proud of all of our veterans and treat them with the dignity and respect that they all have earned and deserve.

It is our government, when it comes to the Vietnam and Iraq Wars that I am not proud of. Period.

The Republican Party

As long as I’ve written a weekly column in San Diego (since 1973) anytime I write about GLBT Republicans I have always gotten negative and ugly attacks.

I was a life-long Republican until AIDS and President Reagan’s administration of silence.

In the 1980s, then San Diego Democratic Party Chairwoman Irma Munoz re-registered me as a Democrat and the first Democratic presidential candidate I voted for was Jesse Jackson. I worked on his campaign and met him many times.

To this day I support both Democrats and Republicans and vote for the man or woman, not the party.

Yes, I have had the honor to serve and advise the last six mayors of San Diego. (Four Republicans and 2 Democrats.)

I believe that a true two-party system is best for our nation and both my GLBT and Latino communities. Yes, this recent Conservative Republican Conference, held just outside Washington, D.C., continues to have major party leaders who are anti-gay and anti-immigration reform.

But we would never have gotten Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell changed without the votes of Republican senators and many states that have passed marriage equality would not have done this without Republican votes. Period.

GLBT Republicans deserve our respect and support as they are on the front lines of activism to change their party. They face negativity and hate by some of their fellow Republicans. Do their GLBT brothers and sisters also have to be so ugly and negative too?

I believe that both a Republican and Democratic Party supporting GLBT rights and being supportive of people of color concerns would make for a better America and be better for both my GLBT and Latino communities.

Bourbon Street Bingo next Tuesday

Please join Candi Samples, Allan Spyere and me for a one-night only return of fabulous and outrageous Charity Bingo this coming Tuesday, March 26 at Bourbon Street, starting at 8 p.m.

Lots of great prizes and all the proceeds go to the 10th annual Children’s Easter Egg Hunt.

Hope to see you all there. Thank you.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com

U.S. Supreme Court building

Next week, the Supreme Court will hear oral arguments on the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and Proposition 8. Only two things are certain. No decisions will be made, and activists and reporters will parse every word uttered to project how the Court will vote. To help you keep up with the rampant, pointless speculation, here is a primer on the cases, options and players.

Tuesday, 10 a.m. EDT. Hollingsworth v. Perry, “The Prop. 8 Case.”

There appear to be five possible resolutions to this case:

Proposition 8 is upheld, meaning bans on same-sex marriage, including California’s, are legal under the federal Constitution.

Proposition 8 is struck down on narrow grounds that apply only to California, leaving all other same-sex marriage bans in place.

Proposition 8 is struck down on grounds that would eventually end bans in all states (e.g., New Jersey, Colorado, California and more) that recognize same-sex relationships with almost everything but the word “marriage.”

All same-sex marriage bans are struck down as incompatible with the U.S. Constitution.

The justices decide that no one had the right to appeal in the first place, known as standing. Most likely, this eventually brings same-sex marriage back to California based on Judge Walker’s District Court decision, but the details are far from clear.

Wednesday, 10 a.m. EDT. United States v. Windsor, “The DOMA Case.”

Or more specifically, “The DOMA Section 3 Case.” (Section 2, which relates to states recognizing same-sex marriages performed in other states, isn’t on the table. Unless the Supreme Court decides it is.) LGBT advocates are more optimistic on this case, and there seem to be fewer options.

DOMA is struck down, meaning the federal government has to give equal benefits to same-sex spouses in states with marriage equality.

DOMA is upheld, forcing the government to continue denying marriage benefits to same-sex couples

The DOMA case could also be decided on standing, but is more complex, because neither the Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group nor the Department of Justice may have a right to be there. It is not clear that Congress as a whole, much less one party in the House, can defend a law if the Department of Justice (DOJ) doesn’t want to, and it’s not clear the DOJ can appeal a law to get a broader ruling when they agree with the Circuit Court, as Obama does. It’s not impossible that Edie Windsor gets her check while an avalanche of couples file similar lawsuits.

The lawyers

Most of the lawyers are unlikely to make news, as they have been arguing or filing briefs on these cases literally for years. “Yes on 8” forces (Hollingsworth) will be represented by Charles J. Cooper, while the DOMA will be represented by Paul Clement. The equality dream team of David Boies and Ted Olsen will argue against Prop. 8, along with representatives from the City and County (it’s the same thing) of San Franscisco.

The exception is Donald Verrilli, the solicitor general, who will represent the U.S. Department of Justice. While his arguments to DOMA will likely adhere to briefs, his eleventh hour inclusion in the Prop. 8 case is more interesting. The DOJ’s brief was clearly against Prop. 8, but didn’t expressly advocate overturning all state bans on same-sex marriage.

In a recent ABC interview, however, President Obama indicated he did not see how such a ban could be constitutional. If Verrilli makes that the official position of the U.S. government, expect court artists to draw shock and elation.

The justices

Four new justices have been appointed since Romer and Lawrence, making their views a little harder to gauge. Which doesn’t mean we can’t try.

Former Obama solicitor general and now Justice Elena Kagan is presumed to be against DOMA and Prop. 8, but as the most recent appointment and in her first role as a judge, she is in many ways the blankest slate.

In her appointment process, there was some concern that Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s Catholicism would be a barrier to supporting LGBT rights. Her support of college anti-discrimination laws in Hastings Christian Fellowship v. Martinez, and her response to a 6th grader plea for her same-sex parents seem to put her more firmly in the No on 8 column.

Chief Justice John Roberts is a conservative, but shocked many with his vote to uphold Obamacare. Given his relative youth and the rapidly increasing acceptance of same-sex marriage, some think he will look for a way to advance marriage equality if for no other reason than to avoid presiding over the Plessy v. Ferguson of LGBT issues, only to suffer the indignity of reversing himself. Using “standing” as an escape pod might be his preference, but if equality already has five votes, he might be No. 6.

Justice Samuel Alito is about as conservative as they come and is considered one of the most secure votes in favor of Prop. 8 and DOMA, despite lacking a track record on LGBT issues. If he has anything nice to say to Boies, Olsen and Verrilli, it would be a shock.

Justice Clarence Thomas dissented in Romer and Lawrence and is probably the only “Yes on 8” voter safer than Alito. He typically adheres to the idea that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” so if Thomas speaks in oral arguments for just the second time in seven years, whatever he says will make headlines.

Justice Stephen Breyer, who concurred in Romer and Lawrence, generally votes with the “liberal” bloc, and is counted by handicappers as a vote for marriage equality.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is where things get more interesting. Like Breyer, she concurred in Romer and Lawrence and is counted as a vote against DOMA and Prop. 8, but there are some wrinkles. In her majority opinion on Hastings, she managed to note that with regard to sexual orientation “the court has declined to distinguish between status and conduct.” If she can force the idea that there is precedent for the court believing sexual orientation is an immutable characteristic, the bar for DOMA and Prop. 8 may go beyond “rational basis”, and be very tough for the laws to clear.

Ginsburg has also noted, however, that Roe v. Wade may have prolonged and poisoned the debate over a woman’s right to choose by preventing it from being worked out in the states. She is also on record in Arizonans for Official English v. Arizona as being suspicious of the standing of ballot initiative supporters to appeal a decision their state will not. If she thinks it is premature for the Court to settle these issues, particularly Prop. 8, she may use standing to jump into the escape pod with Roberts.

It seems unlikely Justice Antonin Scalia personally supports same-sex marriage, but his record suggests his vote may be more in play that Alito and Thomas. When he isn’t stripping Florida of its right to determine its own members of the Electoral College (Bush v. Gore), Scalia is a firm proponent of states’ rights. Grilling Clement on federalism could suggest he is ready to overturn DOMA on those grounds.

Oddly, the most recent precedent for a constitutional right to same-sex marriage comes in Scalia’s dissent in Lawrence, which he says “… dismantles the structure of constitutional law that has permitted a distinction to be made between heterosexual and homosexual unions, insofar as formal recognition in marriage is concerned.” If Scalia is asking lawyers whether and how Lawrence is binding, he may be offering stare decisis (adhering to precedent) as a way to get on the right side of history without getting on the wrong side of conservatives. Unlikely, but a pleasant thought.

As the presumed swing vote and the author of Lawrence and Romer, all ears will be on Justice Anthony Kennedy. Look for the following phrases to tip his hand:

“Take away rights” – If the underpinning of the decision is that states can’t take back the right to marry once it’s given, we are likely looking a California specific decision to overturn Prop. 8. We may never know why, though, as it would require little more than saying “We affirm the Ninth Circuit decision.”

“Animus” – Focus here might suggest option 3, where states with civil unions and domestic partnerships get marriage equality. Based on Romer, it would allow a decision that being mean (animus) is the sole and unacceptable reason states would withhold the word marriage if they otherwise fully recognize same-sex relationships.

“Freedom” – If there is a common thread in Kennedy’s jurisprudence, it is expanding freedom. The more he focuses on freedom, the more likely he is to strike down all the marriage bans … if there are four other votes.