ambassador of the night

BY CHRISTINA MACNEAL

‘Baditudes’ behind the bar

Am I the only one that feels that the biggest problems facing LGBT bars, clubs and associated nightlife venues are the gay or lesbian rock star attitudes from some staff who think they are above the customer?

Anyone can sling drinks with a bad attitude. A real bartender knows and understands that exceptional service directly affects income and hinges on customer satisfaction. While bartenders and night staff have to stay upbeat and on their feet for long periods of time, may I respectfully suggest that mood-enhancers are not the answer. The effect only makes a potential rock star mentality worse which in turn brings down the service. Remember, work is work and partying is partying!

Sometimes, Hillcrest LGBT bar service can seem very similar to Comedy Central’s skit of Bon Qui Qui yelling to the kitchen, “I have a complicated order,” or “Secuuurity, security,” every time she does not feel like doing her job. If you haven’t seen it, check it out on YouTube. It’s a scream!

In the past, community bartenders and nightclub staff were given an elevated status in the community, mainly because it was one of the only times we could see people like ourselves. At a time before LGBT’s were visible in the media and in the public eye they were there to fill that void. Today, it is no longer that time and place and the community and world have evolved! So why has this mentality not?

I am not saying that all LGBT nightclub staff are like this or that this is something that has not gone unnoticed by some LGBT nightclub owners but, I would urge some to consider, however, that you are in the customer service industry!

When people are treated rudely and a lot of times overcharged for the pleasure they will search out new venues – gay or not!

More and more straight business people want to serve the gay community, and see the value in the all-mighty gay dollar. They live in a broader community where those who patronize their business are treated in a way that is conducive to good service and where the customer is right. In this economic and socially progressive time, we will lose more and more of our LGBT nightlife without this understanding.

Having said all that, and with an expectation of many readers crying “foul,” I thought it would be only right to give praise to those LGBT nightlife venues who have standards, correctly train staff and set an example for those who fall short.

Chris Shaw: He does an amazing job of training staff, promoting from within and encouraging friendly no-attitude staff. If it was ever a wonder as to Chris’ success it was due partly to these things. All one has to do is look how packed his places are, how happy the customers look and his brand recognition. Another huge bonus is Chris does not just take from the community he gives back! A huge thank you to Chris and his staff for having standards and adding to the San Diego LGBT nightlife scene. Moe GM at Gossip is a long-time staple in the community and has helped turn a void in the community into a place that is what The Abbey in L.A. used to be. Kevin at Mo’s is one of my favorite bartenders. He is funny as hell and always brings high energy and hot underwear!

Baby Cakes: The setup is inviting, the staff almost all the time is friendly and attentive and the manager always greets you with a smile, regardless of who you are. Bo has to be one of my most favorite bartenders.

The Loft: This bar is one-of-kind and one of Hillcrest’s hidden gems. The crowd screws a bit older, however, they are full of excitement and are very friendly. It is one of the last places you can overhear someone using the words, Mary and rough trade. The most awesome addition to The Loft is the siren that goes off every time a hot guy walks by. It is old school camp and comfort. Amazing job and keep up the good work!

Rich’s: Nick Moede gets it! He always has staff that understands what service-with-a-smile is all about. There are a good number of women who work there and hands down Rich’s has the hottest go go’s in all flavors from Bear to circuit boys. They are friendly, even down to the security guards, and if you ever deal with security at many other LGBT venues, you will learn to appreciate Rich’s.

#1 on Fifth: Strong drinks, no cover ever, large pool tables and for smokers – somewhere to sip your drink without foregoing your cigarette or others getting pissed about the smell. The boys who work here are on-point, sweet and understand customer service.

There are many other great LGBT nightlife venues, but these just happen to consistently stand out and hats off to all the hard-working industry staff that keep us coming back for more!

‘Til next time, check your ego at the door, keep us shaking are asses and just say no to drugs! This is your Ambassador of the Night signing off.

BY CHRISTINA MACNEAL

By now, everyone has heard about the lily pond in Balboa Park/The midnight water-gun fight and everyone has cashed in an opinion from fish activist, to LGBT activist to Mayor Sanders. In fact, I am personally really sick of hearing about it. That being said, it was a nightlife happening and as Ambassador of the Night how could I not weigh in on this? After that, I am done talking about it and hope everyone else is too.

The event, that got its start on a Facebook page, has received more press coverage and got people up in arms than a drag queen line up at a Tea Party rally. As fate would have it, I was planning to attend and then opted out at the last minute. Lucky me! Otherwise I am sure, like the majority at the event, I would have gone in good spirits thinking it would be a lot of fun. Come on, who doesn’t like scantily-clad people running around at midnight, flash mobs and organically grown fun that deviates from the norm.

This would not have been my first rodeo with “free nighttime and let’s get real drunken fun” at Balboa Park. I have attended boozy ice blocking, skateboarding flash mobs at 2 a.m. and photo shoots and make-out sessions in men’s bathrooms that would make George Michael look tame. Here is what I think it was; a great idea in concept, just a terrible choice of location. People coming together to have fun is what being young and summer is all about, and who hasn’t been there once or twice? If you haven’t that really sucks and you should have gotten out more!

It happened, it is done and expecting a bunch of twenty-something kids to turn themselves in willingly is unrealistic and a bit rigid. Let’s hope they learned from it and move on!

No fish were harmed in the making of this review.

Enough ‘Stage’ for everybody

This weekend, I went downtown to the Gaslamp to party. I have to admit that, generally speaking, I really can’t stand going out at night in San Diego’s way-too-straight seethe pool of drunk military guys (as in not rough trade, just rough!), cheesy dress codes and silk shirt garb. The last time I was in the downtown area I was trying to figure out directions to a lesbian sex party and I don’t think that counts as “going out” in the Gaslamp. I beelined it to where I wanted to go and wondered why this shindig couldn’t have been somewhere less odd considering the occasion, but that’s another story for another week! However, the female DJ was amazing, it was a good crowd that was LGBT-friendly, but most importantly, there was no cover and the drinks were strong. I can attest to all of this!

Anyhow, if you go to the Gaslamp due to curiosity, or like in my case are striking a compromise with the trans boys you are painting the town red with, Stage is a must to check out. The vibe was great; they had multiple rooms with something for everyone playing; it was clean enough, yet Stage has just enough dirt to make it fresh.

DJ, producer and remix master Miss Dust aka Dusty tore it up; she has long-supported LGBT rights, spins ear candy, couldn’t be any hotter if she tried and gets everyone on the floor. She parks the typical DJ attitude at the door, is a must to check out and spins at Stage on Saturday nights. For more info on Miss Dust visit djmissdust.com

The night wrapped up with rescuing a puking curbside Navy guy and taking him back to the base, praying he didn’t repeat his actions in the car on the way there!

This is your Ambassador of the Night saying, don’t swim in iconic fish ponds, pick up after your party and please don’t leave friends to throw-up in front of crowded bars or clubs! Till next time.

For me, the most memorable moments of Pride were not the ones made in the clubs boasting a ridiculous door cost – after all, I am a lesbian and I am not willing to pay that much to get in. Let’s get real!

I started my Pride weekend on the streets of Hillcrest, Friday, where the flag-raising was really amazing. I did not care, however, for the rampant classism of some watching the event close-up and others stuck behind a chain link fence!

My favorite part of Pride is watching those who are willing to express their bad-ass selves regardless of what others think. To me they are the real honorees of Pride. This week, in honor of those folks and San Diego Pride 2012, I thought I would give a few of them their proper dues.

So, without further ado, your Ambassador of the Night honorees are:

The lesbian couple who get into a fight because someone was (fill in the blank) talking to someone’s ex or perhaps was checking her out, and she knows it or just straight got too drunk. This could be seen at any stop along the line of booths in the festival – one lesbian yelling at the other who is walking at a brisk pace in front of her making a huge scene. Ladies, it just wouldn’t be the same without you.

This years Lesbian Fight Award goes to two girls wearing bikini tops in the high energy dance pit in the main beer garden. Oh, to be that young and not giving a damn about making a scene.

Now, there are many variations of the drunken twink but normally it goes something like this: cute boy, tight 2Exist underwear, body glitter mixed with the heat and too much booze. We all know one, they all drink too much and it always ends in, “I am really sorry he is just really drunk” as he bumps into or falls over someone followed by a stream of slurred profanities!

This year’s Drunken Twink Award goes to the boy on the Ferris wheel screaming his lungs out during the Friday night rally. Never you mind people are taking the speeches seriously, trying to listen and that your scream is competing with assemblymen. Who cares – you’re young, dumb and full of … booze.

Of all the gear at Pride this year I wanted to buy, look at and check out I can honestly say I have never wanted to be dressed like a horse or purchase a carriage to be pulled by a human horse. However, to each their own. It was an over-the-top spectacle to watch – even better was watching Pride attendee’s reactions to it.

So, hooves down, this year’s Over-the-Top Leather/Kink Award goes to the horse-driven carriage.

Balls and boobs abound in Pride and along the parade route. Some you want to see and others … make you never want to see balls or boobs again. Please, I beg you, at least wear something that offers some support.

There were so many of you in this category I just could not narrow it down to two!

So, the Balls and Boobs Award goes to all of you. My hats off to you for having the “boolls.”

On a final note, there really is no place like Pride to run into every ex you ever had and the one night stand you told you would call and then never did. Pride would not be as awkward without you.

Until next time, from your Ambassador of the Night, play hard and drink hard – just make sure you do it safely.

Bear Night happens the first Saturday of every month at Numbers

Portland, Ore. is the city that introduced the Keep Portland Weird bumper sticker. It did so, when Portland had an influx of people moving there who did not have views as liberal and as open as those who make Portland what it is. I propose a take on this same idea for Hillcrest; we just need to Keep it Gay, instead. I love my hetero friends, as much as the next and I do think that friends of the community shouldn’t feel anything but comfortable in our neighborhood and nightlife. I am saying this with all the bars and clubs in San Diego in mind. If you are insecure about your sexuality, or feel a need to express your concern about getting hit on whilst you are at an LGBT nightlife venue, then go somewhere else. Let’s just keep it real shall we? Hetero men, you really do not need to worry about getting hit on, as generally speaking gay men spend a lot more time on themselves than hetero men, and, ahem, it shows! Hetero ladies, for us girls, you are too much work, generally not as edgy as we are used to and, as much as I would love to spend time teaching you what you are doing wrong, I think I can leave your crazy ex-boyfriend and lack-of-experience drama at the door.

How gay is Comic-Con

It s a bird, it’s a plane, no its grown men in tights, capes and donning cos-play outfits! Comic-Con has to be the second largest gay event in San Diego. The best gay Comic-Con party this year was Rich’s last Friday. The event was packed with a mixture of hot boys, fierce drag versions of female superhero icons and muscle guys. Comic-Con and Rich’s was a huge success again this year and it was massive! While I was downtown for Comic-Con, I noticed Alexander Salazar was featuring gay comic/graphic artist Joe Phillips in an installment called Boys Will Be Boys. As if superheroes were not hot enough on their own, gay superheroes in suggestive poses brought on the heat! One word … hot!

Aww … leather and kink, two of my favorite things

Beat and Greet! Sorry girls, this event is men only! So, do you want to go out and socialize but don’t feel like going to the leather bar or mixing it up? If you are into, or looking to get into, or just curious and open-minded about the leather, kink and play communities the Beat and Greet might be just what the doctor ordered. It is held downtown on the third and fifth Fridays of each month. The next one is Friday, July 20 and it starts at 8:30 p.m. and ends at 11:30 p.m. and is for 18 and up. For more information go to info@beatandgreet.com

The Alibi … don’t even bother

I went to The Alibi last week, to re-check it out and see if I still felt the same way about it, and guess what, I do. It is an odd bar, considering it is located in Hillcrest and has been for a very long time. Generally, it caters to hard-core drunks and the broader community, not really LGBTs. The reality of this bar is this: if you are a lesbian who is soft butch to femme for the most part you might get some looks, be hit on or, on a good night, left alone. For gay men, it is really not the place out of all options to go in Hillcrest; not even to start the night. There is a somewhat hostile to unwelcoming attitude that hangs heavy in the air. All in all, if you are LGBT or expect more than what a biker dive bar offers, don’t even bother. The only redeeming quality to The Alibi is their art installment on the side of the building – a large chalkboard, that reads, “Before I Die …” open for all to write on … hmm!

Until next time, from your Ambassador of The Night, play hard and drink hard – just make sure you do it all safely. Happy Pride 2012.

Friday, I attended a rockabilly show at Tio Leo’s, a venue long-known for having a thriving scene. It was, um, interesting. I never really fully understood what rockabilly style meant. I mean, I like the fashion and motorcycles; however, I was not really sure what rockabillies actually stood for as a subculture. I found out during the show and thanks to two straight friends who are larger-than-life players in the rockabilly scene.

I have to say, I was a bit hesitant to attend the show for two major reasons: First, I grew up in the punk rock scene and second, I wasn’t really keen on walking into a room with people who are voluntarily stuck in a 1950s value system and/or mindset. Add to that, the origins of rockabilly lie primarily in the South, and I think it’s safe to say the original rockabilly ethos might not have been the most pro-LGBT philosophy out there.

However, I did check out what I thought were a few cute butch girls at Tio Leo’s. Then I realized where I was, and that I was actually checking out a clean-shaven 21-year-old guy. Oops; my bad.

I felt like I had stepped into a time machine, and gone back to a land where bad motifs dominated interior design and men’s suits were shaded in varieties of muddy earth tones, and ties were just too huge. The rockabilly vibe at Tio Leo’s was very odd, and I feel confident in saying it does not sit well with being queer. It was like mixing cheese and coffee, instead of cheese and wine. I cannot say I fully understood the music either. I think I’ll stick to what I know – Riot Grrl and punk shows.

Tio Leo’s

Juicy, juicy

For girls, Juicy at Bourbon Street Sundays is definitely a thumbs-up. It is free; it draws in more than one crowd; and it isn’t just the same girls holding down the same bar stool night after night. They have also hired on what looks like a new crew of girls. I have to say, I do miss running into Franki and Monica Knux. They will have a hard time trying to find a female bartender who can fill Franki’s shoes. San Diego misses you both. Another bonus to Bourbon Street is El Vee. She is an amazing DJ and I was glad to see she will be keeping everyone shaking their asses during Pride, Sunday, July 22 in the HiNRG dance area. So, go check her out and support local LGBT artists and musicians.

Juicy at Bourbon Street

Femme Fatale

Also in girl news, I went to Numbers for Femme Fatale Saturday. Sorry guys, but that was a bust! Big thumbs-down. It was certainly not the bartenders’ fault as they were all great. It was simply too high of a cover charge for not anywhere close to enough people; the same problem with security that they have had for too long – door guys that are brutish, cold and generally pushy and unfriendly. The music was good, though, and the venue is great; it just is not what it was before – plus the rude door guys.

Numbers get new door people! This has been an issue for years!

Femme Fatale at Numbers

Cheers!

Cheers has always been a great place to go to get the night started or for a Sunday afternoon to hang out, play pool and control the jukebox. It is down-to-earth and has the best set of regulars of any LGBT bar. It is a local crowd and like the old TV show, everyone knows your name. It is a very interesting crossover of gay, straight, young, lesbian and old all drinking together and chatting it up. Lucas, the bar manager, is one of the nicest guys in the business and ensures that guests feel at home. He is always willing to share a friendly smile and a hilarious story.

Finally, their house specials, beer size and prices are unmatched.

Cheers!

Until next time, play hard, drink safe and shake your ass! This is your Ambassador of the Night, signing off for now.

Welcome to my first column as your Ambassador of the Night. I’ll be your host on a journey covering everything and anything from shiny disco balls and circuit parties; drag and must-see DJ’s; homocore artist’s to bears and booze.

Where to go; what’s hot and what’s not; from boys’ nights and leather events to where the girls are; from punk to funk, no queer will be left behind! Whatever the flavor you savor in local and SoCal nightlife you will find it here. I hope you enjoy the ride. Cheers!

L.A. Pride set it off yet again this year. It was great to see LGBTQA people out having fun in ridiculous numbers. The lineup was fantastic, and the act that stood out among the rest was Playboy School, who played the main stage, Friday. If you like electro punk and hot girl trio’s they were where it was at. Alec Mapa was as funny as only he can be, and DJ Shane Stiel brought the house down. West Hollywood was packed and, of course, every bar and club made it hard to choose where to start and end the night. Each club, bar and event offered something unique and catered to all palettes. I have to say, I love seeing the leather men and drag queens and who doesn’t love the, oh so popular, scantily-clad girls wearing little more than electrical tape; it just would not be Pride without you!

Beyond the bars and clubs, I also checked out the Pride house parties. For those who aren’t so keen on standing in lines that wind around the block, this is where it is at and a great alternative that packs just as much action. I found such action in a DJ that I had heard of, yet had not seen live; DJ HookerFace. Her music is across the board, but she mixes it up picking songs that create unstoppable dancing, creating a full soul, body and mind experience that seemed to win over the dance floor that Pride weekend. Her busting out of dance moves, level of energy and big bursts of smiles reminded me of a new lesbian version of GirlTalk. She is one to watch and a must-see when you are in L.A. She is set to play San Diego next May.

The Brass Rail and Imperial Court de San Diego hosted Miss Transgender San Diego this last Wednesday and it had a very impressive turn out. Congratulations to Malva Sanchez the new titleholder. The competition was fierce and you all did a great job!

One of Hillcrest’s oldest and most well-known nightlife venues, The Flame, was sold recently. What will now be called Kitty Diamond is set to open May 18 under new owner, Erica Jessup. There have only been rumors at this point as to whom the venue plans to cater to, however, I would bet money it will be mixture of younger LGBT’s and heterosexual hipster’s and scenesters. It will also boast May Star and Diamond Dust, May 19.

Friday, June 15 The Ruby Room will host a night of art, music, silent auction and fun for a breast cancer fundraiser called Boobs, Booze & Art from 8 p.m. – 2 a.m. The tickets are $8 presale and $10 at the door. The event is not only for a great and worthy cause, but also takes a progressive outlook on how cancer is perceived. All of the proceeds will go to Fuck Cancer. The Ruby Room is located at 1471 University Ave.

Another event not to miss this week is The Eagle’s Red Hanky Night, Thursday. The Eagle always boasts the hottest, sweatiest guys and an unmatched openness where all are welcome to have fun and cruise. It has fast become one of my all-time favorite San Diego bars. The drinks are always strong and very reasonable. Whether you are just looking to play a game of pool, meet with friends or hook up, the Eagle offers it all, served with a sexy smile. Located at 3040 North Park Way, it is a must to check out.

So, from your embassy of nightlife, San Diego, this is your ambassador signing off for this week. Enjoy the night and ’til we meet again …