My yearly rant: The un-Christ-ing of Christmas

I am not against the use of “Holiday” or “December Nights,” but I object to the pussy-footing around the ancient tradition of celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, Dec. 25; going so far as to avoid even saying his name so as not to offend others. What’s to offend? December has several important days of [...]

A turkey tale

Thanksgiving is almost over, but as it is too soon for the religious elves and snowman, I’ll tell you of the Thanksgiving dinner I gave in my first year of teaching. Deciding to duplicate the happy ambiance of the famous Norman Rockwell tribute to Thanksgiving, I invited three equally new, young teachers and, in a [...]

Sin, sex and scandal sink beloved saga

Fans of the internationally popular and inspirational adventures of Honey Boo Boo and her all-American family are heartbroken by reports of the unseemly relationship recently undertaken by Mama June, the disillusion of her relationship with cuddly Sugar Bear and the oldest daughter’s public baring of indecent acts allegedly committed on her when a child by [...]

Catch you later, dude. (Not likely)

As seniors have done since the time of the cave-persons, we complain about the younger generation. Looking at the past, we grudgingly admit our parents felt the same way, but that was different; we were right. As the decades have passed, we noticed changes. Whether we approved or not, we often followed the trends in [...]

I can’t do it. It’s too long

There comes a time when we have to admit we just can’t handle it. I increasingly face this problem lately as I try to live up to expectations and my reputation. But sadly, my briefs can only be crammed so full. This is the reason it is necessary to abridge my articles which actually start [...]

My recent tribulations

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Recently, a simple coffee break with friends produced several puzzling points for me to ponder. The first occurred when I innocently offered my spoon to a friend to stir his coffee. True, I had just used it in my own coffee, but I had not licked it, rubbed my filthy fingers on it, nor placed [...]

Scam alert — seniors beware

The Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes is well-known and legit, but when a friend called to say he’d won $100,000, I had to break the bad news that the letter he received was a scam. I had seen it explained on TV the night before. Now he is furious because I “ruined everything.” Luckily he had [...]

Sea Dogs 7, Flying Squirrels 1

On my recent trip to visit my family I was thrilled to read the above headline in my hometown newspaper. It means the Portland team now leads the East Division (of something) by 1 1/2 games. “One more win puts them in the playoffs for the first time since 2008.” My heart be still. My [...]

It’s lobster time again

Here I am back visiting my hometown Portland, Maine. Real trees, not those scrawny palms, surround me making everything so green I feel I’m in the Emerald City. Speaking of which (if you have to ask a senior, turn in your gay card), my old cruising, I mean stomping, ground is almost unrecognizable. True, L.L. [...]

To tattoo or not to tattoo

I am fascinated by today’s explosion of tattoo art and decoration amongst the younger generations. Sure we had tattoos in our day: an anchor, the name of a boy/girlfriend or two, a hula girl, “MOM” and a rose thrown in for good measure, but after getting married or a job, all were covered up. Now, [...]

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