PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair PHOTO: ANA PINES

The PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair, held April 27, was sponsored by the City of San Diego and San Diego County Board of Supervisors Greg Cox and Ron Roberts. Ms. Philippines National 2013, founder and executive director of Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence and SDSU student Kristen Paruginog, was one of the emcees of the event.

We enjoyed watching several entertainers including Lei Oleander Dancers (Kayla Pimentel, Alex Honore and Jenna Narvoza), “Year of the Snake” Chinese dancers and 9-year-old Melanie Jimenez, a Hollywood Bowl finalist winner who mesmerized the audience with her rendition of Alicia Keys’ “Girl on Fire.” The Janeiro’s Models showed off Biblia Fashion’s evening wear and custom jewelry during the fashion show. The 3 Wise Men DJs provided music for the event.

National City Mayor Ron Morrison made an appearance and spoke about the diversity of the city and how it’s important to explore each other’s similarities. PTE-Hope, Inc. is a multi-cultural partnership of the federal government and the state of California to promote community awareness, cooperation, hope, unity, respect and goodwill among various cultural and ethnic groups.

Mariachi Festival

Mariachi Festival PHOTO: ANA PINES

A few minutes away from PTE’s event, at Pepper Park, was the 1st annual Mariachi Festival and Competition, sponsored by The National City Chamber of Commerce and HMC Advertising. We watched several groups from all over the country and Mexico as they competed for $4,000 in cash prizes. Jointly organized as the 11th annual Cinco de Mayo Festival, it provided entertainment for families to come together and celebrate San Diego’s heritage through mariachi music and traditional ballet folkloric dancing. There were also merchant booths, arts and crafts, food vendors, music displays and a children’s area.

Adams Avenue Unplugged

Robin Henkel PHOTO: ANA PINES

Previously known as the Adams Avenue Roots Festival, this free music festival, held the weekend of April 27-28, stretched along Adams Avenue, from University Heights on the west end, through Normal Heights, and into parts of Kensington on the east. The performances were staged in restaurants, bars, coffee houses and galleries, as well as four community stages along the avenue. Many of the Unplugged performers played multiple sets, which allowed attendees to catch their favorite artists while enjoying the neighborhoods’ many distinctive shops. We watched Robin Henkel’s performance at the Adams Avenue Park stage. We found a perfect spot in the shade to enjoy the sounds of jazz and blues. It reminded us of when we were back home in New York City and watched summer concerts in Central Park and Prospect Park.

Circo de Mayo

Circo De Mayo PHOTO: ANA PINES

Circo de Mayo, held May 4, was a full-length showcase performance from the DLP Aerial Fitness students at SD United Training Center. DLP Aerial Fitness students learn a variety of acrobatic and aerial disciplines from professional performers. The show featured aerial silks, aerial lyra, aerial hammock, static trapeze and contortion. It felt like we were watching the next generation of Cirque du Soleil performers. The training center offers gymnastics, cirque/acro, cheer/tumbling, parkour, tricking and break dancing classes.

Clarence Jordan

Wow! What an amazing passage! I like Acts 4 because it gives us a peek at how the early followers of Jesus came together and lived in an authentic community.

All throughout the gospels we read that first, John the Baptist, then Jesus, preached about the immanence of the Kingdom of God (or realm of God). Jesus boldly proclaimed, “The time is fulfilled, and the realm of God is at hand; repent and believe in the good news.” Another translation says it this way, “Jesus arrived on the scene preaching, ‘Change your whole way of thinking, for a new order is emerging among you.’”

Here Jesus is making a call to the realm of God. But let’s look also, at what Jesus is not calling his followers to. Jesus, before anything, calls us not to doctrine or not to dogma, not to personal salvation, not to social action, not to a charismatic experience, not to contemplation, not to liturgical renewal. Jesus calls us to the Kingdom of God or realm of God. The realm of God is not heaven or afterlife, but the way the world could and can be according to Divine intention.

Rev. J. Holub says, “We must not forget that Jesus encouraged his disciples to pray, “Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven …” He didn’t say pray, “to your kingdom we wish to go in heaven.” No, it is, “Your kingdom come on earth …”

And Jesus said that participation in this realm comes through repentance, a word that has been totally misunderstood and misrepresented. It has been portrayed as a debasing attitude toward self. It makes me think of those people at the Pride parades holding up the signs, “repent sinner.” The Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which means to have the whole form, character, and all of our lives undergo a radical shift so that we might be equipped and prepared to fully participate in this new order, the Kingdom of God; an order that has emerged and found expression in the life of Jesus; an order that challenges the world and challenges us.”

Let me tell you about a man named Clarence Jordan. Clarence Jordan was a prophetic figure in the history of American Christianity. Jordan’s roots were deeply embedded in the Southern Baptist church. He graduated from Southern Baptist Seminary with a Ph.D. in Greek New Testament in 1938. He also had a degree in agriculture from the University of Georgia in 1933. During his years of formal education he became convinced that the root causes of extreme poverty, that he saw all around him in the culture of the South, were not just economic and political causes, but also spiritual.

Driven by this growing and passionate conviction, in 1942, Clarence, along with his wife and another couple, moved to a 440 acre tract of land near Americus, Ga. to create an interracial Christian farming community. They called it Koinonia, a Greek word meaning “communion” or “fellowship” that is used in the Book of Acts to describe the communities that formed around Jesus.

The residents of Koinonia pledged themselves to the values of the realm of God as proclaimed and embodied by Jesus, including equality of all persons, rejection of violence, ecological stewardship (they had Earth Day everyday) and common ownership of possessions. (Remember, this is the deep South of the ‘40s)

At first, the Koinonia community lived in relative peace with their neighbors, but as the civil rights movement of the ‘50s and ‘60s gained momentum, they were boycotted and experienced violence, including bombings. It got so bad that Jordan asked President Eisenhower for help, but he refused to intervene with any federal protection. Instead, he referred the matter to the governor of Georgia, who responded by ordering the Georgia Bureau of Investigation to investigate Koinonia for suspected communist ties which, of course, there were none. Koinonia, a community based on the life of Jesus and the realm of God, was perceived as a threat to the status quo of the culture around them and the power structure that enforced it.

Jordan refused to participate in pro-civil rights marches and demonstrations, not because he didn’t favor it, but because he believed the best way to effect change was to live a radically different life in community. Like Jesus and like the community of Acts 4, he strove to embody the Kingdom of God at Koinonia.

In case you’re wondering, Koinonia survived, and is alive and well to this day. Their mission statement says: “While honoring and including people of all backgrounds and faiths, we strive to demonstrate the way of Jesus as an alternative to materialism, militarism and racism.”

The influence of the Koinonia community has been powerful and wide-reaching. Here’s something I didn’t know. In 1965, a multi-millionaire couple visited Koinonia, planning to stay for only a couple of hours. To make a long story short, in 1968 this couple made Koinonia their permanent home. They liquidated their plentiful assets, and with Koinonia as their center of operation, they started a series of “partnership housing ventures” for the poor in Africa. And – it was the birth of Habitat for Humanity.

The life and person of Jesus and this passage from Acts spoke in powerful and transformative ways that continue to make a profound impact on the world.

How is this speaking to your heart?

It frightens me, and it excites me both at the same time. It frightens me because it challenges my whole way of thinking, doing and being and challenges many of the values I hold sacred because “a new order is emerging” that Jesus announced and embodied. It excites me for the same reason in that it contains a call into a new dimension of what it means to be a human being – as one preacher put it, a more fully human person in the image of Jesus.

Our scripture says, “There was not a needy person among them.” We are living in a time when the disparity between the haves and have-nots in almost every culture and country and continent is widening; a time when more wealth and resources are being controlled by fewer and fewer.

We are hearing, more and more, that everyone is essentially on their own. And if you happen to be poor and without means or power; a senior or very young and in need of medical care; a person that has extraordinary or special needs that are very expensive; and you have no way to change your status in life – too bad!

But Luke says, “There was not a needy person among them.” Why? Because the early communities that formed around Jesus lived with a sense of interconnectedness. They took Jesus seriously when he said things like, “In the Kingdom of God the last shall be first.” “Thy kingdom come on earth …” Do we mean it when we pray it?

I was talking with a friend this past week who said, “There’s enough to go around.” There are enough resources, food, and shelter. Do we get numb seeing the number of homeless here in San Diego?

Luke says, “great grace” was upon them. They lived with grace. Perhaps this is the key to the whole thing. Rev. Holub said, “The tragedy of contemporary Christianity since the time of the Reformation is that grace has been defined too much as a noun; as a description of a state of personal salvation and personal eternal security – rather than – the way Jesus meant it and those early followers experienced it; as a verb, that changed their whole way of thinking, doing and being because “a new order was emerging” that they experience in Jesus.”

This article raises more questions than answers, and that’s OK. It’s OK for us to struggle with this in our own community of faith and I pray that as we ask those questions in San Diego, in 2013, wherever we are, how might we resemble and embody the life of Jesus, the realm of God, and the “Koinonia” of those early faith communities.

“Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul … with great power they gave their testimony … and great grace was upon them all.”

How is the Spirit moving in you? Speaking to you?

God, listen to your children praying.

God, send your Spirit in this place.

God, listen to your children praying.

Send us love, send us power, send us grace. Amen

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Being friendly with ones neighbors is a policy not to be ignored. One never knows when one might need a cup of sugar, squish of KY or sitter of cat. Of course there are exceptions: the troll with his windows blackened with garbage bags; the grandma whose makeup rivals the boys in Holiday on Ice and who whispers “Drop in … anytime” and there is the widow(er) who regales you with endless discourse on the perfection of the lost love.

Unfortunately my former neighbor was the winner of the “Avoid at Any Cost” prize … the religious nut.

I adhere to no specific sect/group/ism, yet I am a spiritual person. In my search for inner peace and strength, I take and respect the rational, uplifting tenets of love and compassion from all sides; so I am not referring to a seriously religious, kind, upright person. I’m talking about the nut! You know what I mean.

She enjoyed, with open door, the Sunday TV programs with their crowds of faithful enraptured by the words of their adored leaders whose show of humility is matched only by the splendor of their impeccably coiffed pompadours.

Weekdays, her radio blasted forth “The Word” to her sinning neighbors (especially me); at double volume when the speaker ranted, with justified condemnation against the gay community and its abomination the sin of Onan; in general, acting about as Christian as a Borgia pope.

The lady was always ordering (for a small fee + S&H) ) countless prayer shawls, pendants with sand from the Dead Sea, vials of holy water and special Bibles for her prayer closet (I never believed the rumors of an autographed Last Supper picture).

She was determined to save me. I finally stopped her from coming and lecturing me: I put a large picture of the Buddha on my door with the sign “Knock, if you seek the Truth.”

Yelp? Help!

Just when I thought I had a vague understanding of twittering and facebooking (Is that a word?), I encounter something called Yelp. On consultation with my Internet/neo-English linguistics guru, I find it is a Web site where one critiques local businesses.

“It’s like Rotten Tomatoes,” he said, certain I knew what he was talking about. I naturally assumed if I receive rotten tomatoes in a restaurant or supermarket, I can go to the site and complain. No. Rotten Tomatoes has nothing to do with tomatoes rotten or otherwise. It is for movie reviews!

I checked and found, for example, the list “The 100 Best Films of All Time” which has as No. 1 Toy Story II, No. 2 Man on a Wire, No. 3 Taxi to the Dark Side, etc. Hmm. Of all time? Need I comment?

Dear fellow seniors, I would suggest a random flick of the switch to the Turner Classic Movies channel offers a better chance for an evening of film enjoyment. Double Indemnity the other night was superb. Barbara Stanwyck as a blond! Youngsters, ask a senior.

As for Yelp assisting me in my restaurant choices, I hesitate. After reviewing the quality of comments on the Rotten Tomatoes site, I seriously wonder.

Christ Rescuing Peter from Drowning, by Veneziano, 1370

I love the story in Matthew 14 where Jesus asks Peter to walk on the water – what great drama about faith! Peter was willing to risk everything on just the word of his teacher.

We hear in the Scripture that the disciples have been asked by Jesus to take a boat and go on before him to the other side of the Sea of Galilee while Jesus stays behind to dismiss the crowds that had gathered to listen to him.

By evening Jesus was alone, praying, getting in some Sabbath time and the disciples were experiencing just the opposite; far from shore, fighting against the wind and waves. They struggle almost all night against the storm that is crashing down against them, and they struggle successfully, until near dawn they see an apparition. They see something, or is it someone, walking across the water toward them; and they’re terrified! What do you do when you’re scared beyond belief? I don’t know about you, but I jump and then let out a scream and most of the time it isn’t so butch; if you know what I mean! Well, the disciples in the boat cried out in fear!

Immediately Jesus responds to the disciples fear with the words, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” I like this translation better: “Hey! Calm down! It’s me, Jesus!”

Peter is the first one to answer Jesus. “Lord, if it is you, ask me to come to you on the water.”

And Jesus answers, “Come on.” And Peter climbs over the edge of the rocking boat and puts his feet in, no, on the water and begins to walk toward Jesus! Wow!

Can you imagine what the other disciples were thinking? They’re probably yelling back, “Sit down, Pete. You’re rocking the boat! You’re going to get us all drowned!”

I love this story. It shows us what can happen when we respond to the call of Jesus; it shows us how we can triumph over fear, confusion, doubt; it shows us how, when we dare to believe the words of Jesus, his power lifts us up and allows us to weather the storms of life and do something new; something we thought impossible!

Think about it. Peter didn’t need to get out of the boat. He didn’t need to go out on the stormy waters. He could have simply stayed where he was and waited for Jesus to come to him. He could have sheltered himself in the safety of the boat in the knowledge that everything would be OK now that Jesus was coming to him and the other disciples.

But Peter needed to get out of the boat if he was going to walk on the water. If you wanna walk on water, you have to get out of the boat!

Peter took a chance. He asked Jesus to call him. He asked Jesus for the power to meet him in the middle of the storm. Peter had courage.

The courage to venture out into danger and do what Jesus has said can be done; the courage to risk taking a step that didn’t really need to be taken, but he does it simply because Jesus says it can be taken.

Jesus is saying, “You can do it! Trust me.”

I don’t know about you, but given the choice between safety, the familiar and comfort versus taking a risk, fear and the unknown what would you choose?

What are your dreams? What is your passion? What risk is Jesus asking you to take? What have you been afraid to do? What have you postponed because you dreaded the possible consequences? Who have you avoided because you didn’t know what to say to them?

Where have you refused to go because you feared what might happen there? What goal have you hid from because you felt inadequate? What dream have you let wither and die?

If you’re going to walk on water, you need to get out of the boat!

Sometimes we just need to get out of the safety of the boat and say, “Lord, if it’s you, ask me to come to you.”

I’m not saying to take a wild chance on the first thing that comes along, but I am saying if you have a dream or if you’re in a tough situation and you hear Jesus calling you to take a chance … If you see that you can do something to help someone else or simply feel that God is calling you to change something in your life, risk it!

Peter’s faith held him up. The power of Christ held him up. And Peter was going great, until he forgot about the power that he had called upon and the power that had called him.

Peter did well until he focused on the danger he was in; till he looked at the strong wind and the waves and became afraid.

Then, he began to sink.

When we take a risk; when we dare to do what God is calling us to do it is very important that we remember to stay focused on our goal; to trust that God will see us through despite what is happening all around us. Don’t focus on the fear. Don’t focus on your negative feelings.

That’s exactly what people who live by faith do. They remember that feelings can be misleading, but the truths in God’s Word are reliable, trustworthy and consistent.

When we believe and act on these truths, we experience God’s promises for us.

Peter, when he is overcome by fear, when he starts to walk according to his feelings instead of by faith begins to sink. His risk looks as though he failed, but he didn’t.

Peter sinks, but as he begins to sink Peter remembers where his help comes from and he cries out, Lord! Save me!”

And Jesus immediately reaches out his hand and catches Peter.

This is what God does when we risk as well.

When we step out; when we take a risk to come closer to God and then stumble a hand reaches out to us and lifts us up. All we have to do is remember God’s promise to always be with us.

Jesus says to Peter after reaching out to him and saving him, and I believe he says it gently, “Peter, where’s your faith? Why did you doubt me?”

When we take a risk for God; when we dare to do what is right; when we decide to go the extra mile, a mile that we don’t even need to walk but Jesus tells us we can walk; God is near to us to help us.

All we need to do is keep focused on the Source of our faith, to look to where our help comes from. All we need to do is ask for the help we need and trust that it will come.

Like Peter who stepped out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus who had called him, we too can step out. Remember, if we’re gonna walk on the water, we have to get out of the boat!

When we do, power flows; when we do, marvelous things happen; when we do, we discover new things about ourselves.

We can risk, because we have a powerful God watching over us; we can trust, because we have a loving God caring for us; we can step out, because we have a faithful God who will save us.

If you want to walk on the water, you have to get out of the boat!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

In collaboration with San Diego Film Festival (SDFF), At-HOM Furniture hosted the Lights, Action, Red Carpet event, during Kettner Nights in Little Italy Friday, April 12. The event gave visitors a chance to speak with representatives from the festival, enjoy wine and finger foods, and peruse the contemporary and vintage furniture and accessories. SDFF offered memberships valued at $55 to all that stopped by.

SDFF is looking to position itself as “a major force and destination independent film festival set in one of the world’s finest cities.” We’re looking forward to this year’s festival which takes place Oct 2-6. For more information go to sdfilmfest.com

Fashion Week San Diego

Fashion Week San Diego (FWSD) held its first press conference for this year’s upcoming show, at Roppongi’s restaurant in La Jolla April 15. Director and founder Allison Andrews spoke to local San Diego media representatives and bloggers about the event, which will include three nights of runway shows at the Broadway Pier downtown, expanding from the one runway show in 2012.

Models provided a peek into each of the 26 emerging designer’s unique aesthetics and talent by showcasing looks from their past collections. Cocktails and appetizers were served as the press, designers and models mingled to the beats of Sleeping Giant Music’s DJ Hevrock.

FWSD 2013 will be held September 30-October 6.

Army of Broken Toys

Eliza Rickman PHOTO: ANA PINES

Boston-based phenomenon Walter Sickert and The Army of Broken Toys performed at the Queen Bee’s Art & Cultural Center April 16. These darlings of the steampunk world cleave audience’s hearts with rollicking apocalyptic waltzes and powerful rock ballads. They share music with everyone who has ever been broken. The Army of Broken Toys offers a unique rock club run away to the circus experience. We also enjoyed Eliza Rickman’s performance, which included a toy piano and an accordion. Her voice along with her toy piano is enthralling and quirky.

Federal Jazz Project

Federal Jazz Project, conceived and written by Richard Montoya with original jazz score and onstage jazz band led by trumpet virtuoso Gilbert Castellanos and directed by Sam Woodhouse made its world premiere at San Diego Rep. It was thrilling to see the amazing tap dance percussionist Claudia Gomez as “Tijuana” and classical guitarist and songstress Lorraine Castellanos as “San Diego.” This is the finale of San Diego REP’s 37th season and will be onstage until May 5. If you love jazz, don’t miss this musical journey.

I love worship! I love to worship! I love to worship alone and in a group. It’s such an important part of our lives and has such a great emphasis in our services. Many hours and many people go into creating our weekly worship services. Worship is so many things – and I’d like to share with you what worship is not.

Worship, very simply, is not about us – not for us. What do I mean by that? Worship is a gift that we give to someone else. Worship is for God.

The origin of our word worship is similar to the word worth. We think about what something is worth – its value. In the Book of Revelation we hear a lot about worship: “You are worthy, O God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.”

Worship is for God. It’s so easy to lose sight of this truth. We often have people coming to our church to “check us out.” They say they’re church shopping. That’s great – there are so many different brands of churches and flavors of worship for so many different tastes. When I hear about church shopping, it reminds me of Goldilocks and the Three Bears: “This soup is too hot. This soup is too cold. This soup is just right!” Until someone disappoints them, because no church is perfect – because it’s made up of people!

We form opinions about all aspects of life, don’t we? We are comparison shoppers, and we make most of our decisions this way. During the past few decades this has spilled over into worship. Some writers have described this as the “worship wars;” contemporary versus traditional; my favorite style versus your favorite style and music often becomes the scapegoat in all of this. I get asked what style of worship we have on Sundays – and I say we have a blended style. It fits well for us because we’re a church made up of so many different faith backgrounds.

Now, there can be profound worship in any style, but going down the road of style leads us to the wrong place, because it places everything in the context of my preference or your taste. Worship is unique in that it’s not about your preference or mine. It’s something else altogether.

It’s not for us. It is for God. It’s the offering of our very best selves to God. There’s a deep biblical tradition of worship; of giving our best – our best offering, our first offering, the first fruits of the harvest to God. Why do most churches worship on Sundays? Because it’s the first day of the week – not the last. God’s people were instructed to give their first fruits to God. Worship is an offering of our best selves, our real selves, our authentic selves, to God.

In the sixth chapter of Isaiah we see a beautiful picture of what worship looks like. Isaiah is in the temple, overwhelmed with the beauty and glory of God, and he hears the voices singing, “Holy, Holy, Holy is the God of hosts; the whole earth is filled with God’s glory.”

What’s going on? Isaiah is having a wonderful experience of praise. Then something happens. After praise, after authentic and real worship – there’s an experience of the holy – and we see ourselves and life in a different way. Isaiah makes a confession, an acknowledgment and a true statement about himself. “Woe is me, I am lost. I am a man of unclean lips and I live in the midst of a people of unclean lips.” He was reminded, perhaps, of a time when he used his words to harm someone else or even himself. Perhaps it was in worship where he was reminded of one of the “Four Agreements:” Be Impeccable with Your Words.

“Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

When we worship God, we are somehow changed. This is not the purpose of worship; it’s not about us, but by experiencing God, we are transformed. In worship, God’s unique and special love for us is revealed. In worship, we might be nudged to go make amends or ask for forgiveness or forgive someone who has hurt us.

Worship is more than a relationship between God and us. When worship is authentic, when it’s an experience of the holy, there is unfinished business. God has our attention.

Back in Isaiah 6:8, “Then I heard the voice of God saying, whom shall I send, who will go for us?” Isaiah responds: “Here am I, God. Send me.”

This is a long way away from church shopping; a long way from sizing up a deity that matches our temperaments and tastes, our styles and status.

In worship, there is praise, confession and forgiveness – and in worship there is a desire to reflect God’s glory beyond the temple, outside of a church building and into the world where we live.

Worship is not about us; yet when we worship we are transformed and filled with a deep desire to reflect God’s light in the world. That’s why we support our outreach ministries into the community. That’s why we support Transgender Day of Empowerment. That’s why we have a children’s and teen’s ministry. Worship fills us with the desire to be God’s light.

Without worship we see our gifts as our own possessions; the world as a resource to be used; our neighbor as competition for those things that we want for ourselves and truth as whatever spin we can put on it.

Passionate worship changes all of life. I think miracles take place in worship. Sometimes someone will make a comment like “our attendance was a little down this morning.” My thought is usually, “I’m just grateful for those who came to worship!” I mean, why would anyone leave the comfort and warmth of their bed on a Sunday morning; put expensive gasoline in their cars; search for a parking place that sometimes is a ways away; drink coffee that may not be as good as you make at home; sit in a room that is usually either too hot or too cold and sometimes next to people you don’t even know? Why would people do this?

It makes no sense unless there’s a God who is real; who is above us and beyond us but also beside us and within us; who created and sustains all things; who is worthy of our worship.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Bill and Yohei, celebrating 40 years together

As with all seniors, a key word or topic will stimulate me to remember with perfect clarity past events of all emotional hues and importance; but then, when I add in the time frame, I’m amazed to realize they occurred 30, 40 even 50 years ago.

A shocking (to me) example occurs with the appearance of this article April 25 when I will be re-enacting in my head that day forty years ago in Tokyo when an incredibly handsome man asked me for a light (talk about originality!) and I was happy to oblige. His English was poor as was my Japanese, but somehow we clicked. His name was Yohei and we have been partners ever since.

Has it been one long honeymoon? Of course not. We have worked hard compromising or simply ignoring problems that weren’t worth ruining an evening or much less breaking up over – like my snoring or his obsessive attention to my salt intake.

What are we going to do to celebrate? Not much. He’s in Japan. As a dangerous, retired foreigner he cannot get a visa to live here, only visit. So we’ll have to settle for a long phone call. Previous to that, I’ll send a Rite-Aid card with an icky-poo poem which he will not understand; in return, he’ll spend hours making me a card from some exquisite hand-made paper on which he’ll write an impenetrable haiku with sentiments so lofty and in calligraphy so unreadably refined it will have meaning only to a Zen high priest.

In both cases, however, the point will be made. It’s been grand. Let’s go for another forty.

April’s March madness. Dodgers leave Brooklyn. Who knew?

I am constantly mocked for my lack of sports knowledge. I try, but it gets so complicated. For example, April 1 all forms of the media announced April was the start of the baseball season; then followed constant references to March madness. It got worse – that turned out to have nothing to do with Macy’s Spring Sale, but about basketball!

In the midst of the March madness, the Padres (our local team) had a baseball game to celebrate April. They were playing the Dodgers who seem to have moved from Brooklyn. No wonder I am confused.

To improve my manly image, I ventured forth to the stadium to attend the game. For several blocks before I arrived, I was accosted by a multitude of men and women of somewhat dubious respectability offering to sell me their tickets all of which were sworn to be of the highest quality and in fantastic seating sections. I did not succumb. I strongly suspected they were over-priced and far from the goal posts. I wasn’t born yesterday.

I fought my way through the crowd of happy, but not terribly well-mannered youths, to the long line in front of the ticket booth where eventually I asked for a ticket. The outrageous price demanded shocked me and so I attempted to discuss and compare the various other seating choices. After a very few minutes; however, the people behind me grew increasingly restive; unkind remarks were made and finally a huge brute actually shoved me aside.

I was about to protest, but the look in her eye told me not to bother.

Having tried my best, I went to a movie. I heard we won, so that was nice. Go Padres!

A few weeks ago I participated in a community foot-washing service celebrating freedom and justice, and supporting comprehensive immigration reform creating a pathway to citizenship. Jesus is our role model in being active in social justice and advocacy and it felt so right to be there.

The words of San Diego Council President, Todd Gloria, and Dr. Delores Jacobs, touched a chord in our hearts at our Community Call to Prayer service as we prayed for marriage equality, meditated, sang and wrote prayers and put them on our Tree of Justice. We don’t know for sure what the U.S. Supreme Court is going to do – however, emotions are all over the place: anxiety, hopefulness, giddiness and fear – all we can do is wait – it’s like we’re in limbo – like we’re stuck.

Stuck is also a way to describe Mary Magdalene. Mary is on her way to the cemetery. She’s in a strange town, following a path that’s been zigzagging every which way – especially this past week. It’s dark when Mary starts out for the tomb, really more like Saturday night than Sunday morning. The darkness fits Mary’s mood. A few fleeting memories of the past – like that time when she witnessed Jesus’ miracle that fed the 5,000 still aren’t enough to lift her gloom. So, what do you do when your hero has died? Try to keep busy, I guess.

When Mary rounds the last corner, it feels like she’s taken a wrong turn. The tomb has no stone. She looks inside and finds it empty. Panic sets in. What’s happened to Jesus? A terrible Friday afternoon has suddenly turned into a long, agonizing Saturday night. And Mary is stuck!

Do you ever have feelings of being stuck? No job prospects, school’s not going well, family not getting along, the test results were scary, and your plans aren’t coming together like you thought they would.

Stuck is a Saturday sort of feeling. What do we do? Sometimes we grab a quart of ice cream or a bag of potato chips, curl up on the couch and watch old movies. Sometimes we do just the opposite. We get busy – study harder, dust off the resume, make an appointment to see the doctor.

But what do we do if we’re out of options – if we don’t have a plan B? If it feels like we’re stuck between waiting for a ruling on the validation of marriage being an option for you? Or the desperate need for immigration reform and a pathway to citizenship for so many contributing citizens. What do we do? We can pray. We can hope. We can encourage each other. “There’s a land that I heard of once in a lullaby … somewhere over the rainbow!”

Mary goes back to the garden and cries her eyes out. Someone who seems to be the gardener comes up behind her and whispers, “Mary.” It takes her breath away. “You’re here! You’re alive!” After getting over the shock – Mary throws her arms around Jesus – at least she tries to – and doesn’t want to let go. “Rabboni – Teacher,” she calls him. It’s an old familiar name. “Let’s go back to Galilee,” she’s saying, “It was so much better there.” But Jesus has other ideas: “Don’t cling to me, Mary. Easter has happened. We can’t go back to the way things were.”

Do you see where this story is going? Sometimes in life we get stuck. Hopes get dashed, dreams turn to nightmares, and disappointment sets in. We might have a plan B. We might not … at least not anything we can think of.

I’ve got good news for you. God is in the idea business. God has a way of coming to us when we least expect it – like for Mary in the garden. God has a way of dreaming up new possibilities. “The way out of the darkness,” God says, “is by trusting me. Resurrection is a movement toward the future.”

Well, guess what? It takes a lot of trust to leave the past behind. It’s especially hard when it’s dark outside and you can’t see where you’re going. This past month I’ve done more funerals than in a long time. There have been the deaths of family members and partners and loved ones – and it’s not easy.

In times like this, it feels that there is more darkness than light for us. It feels very personal. Something inside desperately wants to believe – needs to believe – that Jesus wasn’t simply victorious over death in some general sense, but that he is victorious over this death that’s so fresh for me.

The Easter story gets personal whenever Jesus comes and calls us by name. He shows up in the most ordinary circumstances; a woman crying in a garden, two men walking along a road, some fishermen out on a lake and a woman at a well. These appearances aren’t much to go on. They don’t prove anything. But somehow, for the people involved, they’re enough. Every time Jesus comes to people, they seem to become a little stronger, a little more hopeful. Every time he comes to them, they become a little more like him. And in one fearful, stuck, heart at a time, an Easter faith is born.

Let me share with you a personal story. After seminary, I was on a career path with the church I grew up in. I loved that church. It was all I knew. I was committed to God and the teachings of the church – except for the gnawing truth that wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard I tried, that I was a gay man. And being gay and Christian just didn’t work in that faith system. According to them, I was going to hell.

I knew it was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped and I was going to be kicked out of the church I had been at for 10 years in Escondido. The office administrator told me about a mysterious phone call to my pastor, asking if I worked there and if she could speak privately to him. I had a strange feeling in my gut when the office administrator told me the pastor came out of his office after that phone call with a piece of paper asking where the paper shredder was. Later, that evening after choir rehearsal, I took the shreds of paper out and took them home with me and started to piece them together, just like in the movie Argo. I then found out that it was a friend from seminary in whom I had confided, and she felt it was her Christian duty to “out” me to the senior pastor. I knew I was going to fall, but I didn’t know how far it would be. I was scared. I was living in the dread – the waiting – the limbo – feeling stuck!

I had heard about a church called Metropolitan Community Church in a book I had read. So, I looked it up in the phone book, and sure enough, there was one in San Diego. I was so paranoid and fearful, that I drove to a carwash and went to a payphone to make the call so it couldn’t be traced – and made an appointment to see the pastor.

Rev. Tony listened to me, prayed with me and I started attending the Saturday Night Service here – then going back and leading worship on Sunday mornings in Escondido. Talk about being between two worlds! It was here, I heard of God’s love for me – as I was – and I knew it was real. And when I accepted that love and started living in it – no matter how difficult the time was for me – I had hope. I didn’t even see a future for me, but I had hope. All I knew was feeling lost, but I had hope. All I had worked for I felt was going to be gone, but I had hope. I felt like Mary coming to the empty tomb on Saturday night.

I’m forever grateful to God and MCC for catching me as I was falling. I’m so grateful that I heard Jesus whisper my name – that there was a future and a hope for me. And not only survive the devastation, but thrive! Since coming out, I’ve met the best people in the world, and am so honored and humbled to work in the most fabulous church in San Diego and be your pastor! At my lowest, God was with me through the love of this church. Praise God!

Easter faith is born one heart at a time. It takes trust to live an Easter faith in a Saturday sort of world. Saturday is the day between the tragedy of Friday and the victory of Sunday. On Saturday you might have to trust while waiting for a ruling. On Saturday you might experience waves of grief. On Saturday the nights are dark and the roads zigzag every which way. On Saturday it’s so easy to get lost. On Saturday if feels like there’s no more hope.

What do you do? You wait and you pray and you trust like crazy! If you’re feeling stuck, you might get up early and start for the tomb. And who knows, maybe when you least expect it – the Risen Christ will come to you and speak your name and say, “I’m alive.” Maybe say, “I want you to let go of those old tapes from your past – your fears and failures and disappointments – and follow me. I’m alive.” Maybe say, “I want to give you a future and a hope. Trust me. I love you. I’m alive.”

Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

K. Rose PHOTO: ANA PINES

We made our way to Dinah Shore Thursday April 4. Our first stop was the opening night party at Zelda’s Nightclub and it was packed. You could barely move around without bumping into someone. We got to see K. Rose perform her hit “Sleep When I’m Dead.” We decided to get some air after her performance and there she was signing autographs and taking photos with some lucky fans.

The next morning Kim’s work brought us back to San Diego. Luckily we had our white outfits ready for the highly anticipated White Party. We arrived at the Zoso Hotel a little after midnight and the crowd was still strong. We went to the main dance floor and caught some of the dancers mingling with the crowd. There was an outside patio where others went to chat it up and/or light up. The outfits ranged from cut off shorts to some people who were dressed to the nines. We then made it to the Latin dance floor and danced to bachata, salsa and some reggaeton. In our opinion, it’s the sexier night of the five dance events.

Saturday we brought out the bathing suits for our first dip in the pool at the Zoso Hotel. Play Boy School, Life Down Here and Love’s Darling performed while the ladies danced, tanned and sipped their drinks. When the performances were over we saw a few girls in the pool trying to get their friends on their shoulders. Once they succeeded they began to have chicken fights. They didn’t last more than a few seconds. Needless to say it was fun to watch from the sidelines.

Love’s Darling PHOTO: ANA PINES

Saturday night’s party took place at the Palm Springs Convention Center. There was a Monte Carlo theme that included a celebrity poker tournament where 100 percent of the proceeds were given to the HRC. A red carpet was set-up for the celesbian arrivals. There was also a performance by Karmin and Leah LaBelle.

Pool party PHOTO: ANA PINES

Sunday we made our way to the front of the main stage at Here TV and Shewired’s Wet and Wild Pool Party for a 4 p.m. performance by international superstar Diana King. She introduced her girlfriend and spoke a little bit about how happy she’s been since coming out. You could see the glee in her eyes as she looked at the crowd of proud and out women. A sight she could never see in her native country, Jamaica. A sound interruption occurred during her last song and one of her most popular, “Shy Guy” so she pretended. King started smiling and surprised everyone when she began to sing the song as “Shy Girl, a remix.”

Diana King PHOTO: KIM RESCATE

The closing party at the Zoso Hotel was a wonderful way to end the five-day event. There was a performance by Katy Tiz, dancers on four platforms, and a great crowd. However, one of the funnier moments of our night was finding a flask in the upstairs couches. The owners stared and whispered at each other but didn’t dare ask us for it. When they left we moved to the other side of the couch and sure enough they came back a few minutes later. They sat down pretended to stretch and grabbed it from the “secret” spot.

Katy Tiz PHOTO: KIM RESCATE

Prior to driving back Monday morning we drove by the Forever Marilyn statue on Palm Canyon and Tahquitz Canyon. The sculpture created by American artist and Johnson & Johnson heir Seward Johnson is 26 ft. tall and was previously located at Pioneer Court along famed Michigan Avenue in Chicago.

This was our second time attending Dinah Shore and certainly not our last. Seeing women everywhere holding hands without fear, taking over the entire hotel, dancing, laughing and toasting to a wonderful time, it’s an experience you’ll be sure to dream about after.

Rev. Dan Koeshall Todd Gloria and Dr. Delores Jacobs

I am sometimes asked that if Jesus were walking the earth today, whether he would be standing up for social justice issues and promoting human rights. I immediately answer, “Yes.”

In looking at his life, all he did and all he was, that answer is a no-brainer. From tax collectors to shepherds to fishermen to Mary Magdalene, like colors in a rainbow, Jesus hung out with all “stripes” of people; especially the marginalized, the poor and the disadvantaged. It is no stretch to picture him today at a peaceful protest, testifying before Congress, or washing the feet of workers as I did at the Foot Washing Ceremony and Passover Ritual at St. Paul’s Cathedral during Holy Week.

And I don’t think it impossible to envision him supporting marriage equality. After all, Jesus was about inclusion, fairness and justice and love. Just as he physically did with the temple moneychangers, he upended the traditional “carts” of thinking of the time.

Another champion of justice, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The arc of history bends towards justice.” But like a flexible rod, that bend sometimes has a back-and-forth motion. We have certainly seen that with marriage equality. I reflect back Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2008. Like so many, I had conflicting emotions as the election results came in; ecstatic with the election of our first African American president and devastated with the news that Prop. 8 had passed despite the massive effort by so many. We endured other defeats and yet, finally, we sense that we are on the brink of unparalleled forward-moving momentum for LGBT rights and equality.

Rev. Dan Koeshall and Kevin Beiser

In that spirit the community gathered at Metropolitan Community Church for a noontime Community Call to Prayer for Marriage Equality March 25. It was a service of prayer, music, mediation and readings of scripture and quotes from notable people supporting the freedom to marry, on the eve of the Supreme Court hearings on Prop. 8 and DOMA.

We heard inspiring perspectives from San Diego City Council President Todd Gloria and CEO of our LGBT Center, Dr. Delores Jacobs, who have worked tirelessly on behalf of justice and equality. Kevin Beiser of the San Diego Unified School Board was also in attendance. Together everyone assembled sang “We Shall Overcome,” a reminder of another great and ongoing struggle.

During a time of reflection, many people wrote prayers, hopes, dreams and affirmations regarding marriage equality on small, colorful notecards and tied them to our Tree of Justice. Our congregation and guests continue to add to the tree, which will remain in our main church foyer until the U.S. Supreme Court rulings, likely in June.

We also included an ecumenical prayer of aspiration and hope:

Tree of Justice

“We give thanks, O Divine Source, Creator of Freedom, Author of Justice, Foundation of Love, for Your abiding presence and wise counsel. In this season of new life and fulfillment of promise, we rejoice in the breaking of bonds that hold us back. In the power of inalienable truth, we celebrate all that is good, all that brings light and hope to the world, and all that enables people to rise to their greatest potential! May we be inspired and empowered to remove barriers that stand in the way of what is fair and just, fosters equality, and nurtures us in naturally loving – and being loved by – whomever that may be. For it is in love, that we find our renewal, our liberty, ourselves and our God.”

We came together for the service because the LGBT community stands at the threshold of a major potential victory. We gathered as a united community, LGBT and our allies, to be the voice that is needed for “such a time as this.” President Obama himself set the tone for this effort in his inaugural address when he spoke so movingly of Seneca Falls, Selma and Stonewall, linking forever the struggles for women’s rights, civil rights and LGBT rights.

And not stopping there, along with many others, he wrote an amicus brief for the hearings. As Bob Dylan so famously sang, “the times they are a-changin’.”

Last November voters in Maine, Maryland and Washington State approved same-sex marriage, and in Minnesota a restrictive amendment was defeated. That “arc” is visibly bending. In one recent poll, reports the Washington Blade, 58 percent of Americans now support marriage rights for same-sex couples.

Tree of Justice

I have faith that we will, once again, hear the bells chime for our marvelous weddings. Where the press and cameras won’t be reporting on the phenomenon because it will be common place and old news! Where I will be able to say, like I did in that four-month window of equality in 2008, “By the power vested in me by Metropolitan Community Churches and the state of California, I pronounce that you are married!” Then comes that delightful kiss! How sweet it is! And for people of faith, victory will come not in spite of our faith, but indeed because of it.

With the U.S. Supreme Court hearings, and now the months of waiting for a ruling, emotions are overwhelming; anxiety, hopefulness, giddiness and fear. For that reason, perhaps it was ideal that we concluded our special service by singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

After all, don’t we believe that the “dreams that you dare to dream really do come true”? We have perhaps tipped a cart that just can’t be put back. After the “storm” of Nov. 4, 2008, we sense a coming rainbow, one way or another.

And it is going to be fabulous. And blessed.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

The Hillcrest sign, at Fifth and University Avenues

Have you noticed the more and more gay-straight mixing in Hillcrest/North Park? It is becoming increasingly pronounced in the restaurants especially with the younger crowd. Friendly service greets all customers and they in turn pay no attention to the sexual make-up of the couple or group at the next table.

More and more of us are accepting the straights among us; no one makes cracks or suggests they find another place to hold hands or even kiss – although good manners would indicate decorum should be observed for the sake of our children we might have with us.

This invasion of straight people has a good reason: the wonderful variety of ethnic and national dishes to be found here – Italian, Mexican, Ethiopian, Greek, Asian/you-name-it and many more with recent additions from India, Israel and Pita (must look that up). And let’s not forget the vegan and vegetarian places where I am invariably surprised when I venture into their exotic, healthy choices. (What the heck is polenta? Doesn’t that have something to do with babies?)

I can’t help wondering what non-gays think of the snatches of conversation they must overhear. It happened to me just the other night in a popular gal-friendly place. The women behind us were screaming with laughter about a friend with a camel foot (hoof?) but neither I nor the guys at my table could figure it out. Probably lesbian slang, but who cares; a good time was had by all.

Get out and mingle with some straights; they can be quite nice.

A banquet memory

A recent invitation to a class reunion reminded me of the graduation banquet where I made a memorable speech. To honor a classmate (killed by a moose he was poaching off season) I was to read a poem by Miss Bream, the music teacher. It was so sweet and cloying we could have all ended up with saccharin poisoning.

Following me was to be our football hero (He made a few touchdowns – big fxxxing deal!) thanking the teachers for their wonderful help.

Unfortunately, Mr. Butch had an attack of stage fright, threw up over his speech and refused to go on. Everyone was stunned and speechless – except you-know-who!

Forget the stupid poem. I wiped off his speech, swept on stage and proceeded to ad lib what I couldn’t decipher through the guck.

Naturally I added a few things. For example, the gym teacher, a fascist lout who continually chose me last – even for dodge ball, I thanked for the contribution his face and other body parts had made to the many scatological wall drawings in the men’s locker room. I also thanked several jocks by name for promising to skip the bunny hop at the dance party after the banquet and lead us in the sissy strut.

I covered a lot of territory. The students, well-oiled from secret pre-banquet parties, didn’t notice anything. The teachers did and I was sternly frowned at by some and secretly beamed at by others. The gym teacher, too dumb to understand what I had said, continued choosing me last and I continued decorating the locker room.

Hello all my little Trendies! I just got back from my morning sashay through Balboa Park. Oh what a beautiful day it is! The sun is shining, the air is warm, the boys are out and about and Mother Nature is in full swing!

I was thinking to myself as I was climbing out of the bushes in the canyon, spring has finally arrived in San Diego, and it could not come at a better time. This girl was over the winter blues. I needed to hike up my skirt, let my hair down and feel the sun on my porcelain skin. I was overwhelmed with joy; I felt like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music high atop a mountain twirling and singing like I had popped a couple of happy pills!

As I walked through the park and saw Mother Nature in full swing, I was so inspired by her natural beauty; I needed to figure out how I could bring all the freshness and joy of spring into my home.

For the last couple of months it has been dried flowers and green garland all over the place. I needed to bring life back into my place and what a better way to do it than with fresh flowers.

It might seem like a simple fix but it can change everything! Sometimes the simplest things can make the biggest change in our lives. I love the smell of fresh flowers throughout my place. Daisies, lilies, roses and jasmine! And I am not talking about a few of the other drag queens in San Diego.

If you can recall a previous Design Time from September 2012, First Impressions, I talked about making an entrance. I know a couple of things about making an entrance, everything from climbing out of a limo pulling a Britney to arriving to a homecoming on my grandad’s tractor.

In First Impressions I created an inviting look to my home using a small table and mirror. Let’s update this space with a beautiful vase in color filled with your favorite flowers. Let’s remember that more is not always best. I am usually a firm believer in “Go big or go home,” hence my double D’s and silicone lips. But, you can overdo flowers!

There is nothing worse than a busy floral arrangement that is bigger than your Miata. Big flowers remind me of a funeral and the last thing you want to do is bring death into your home. Hey, hey, it’s not my fault my last boyfriend was 92 and had heart failure when I brought him home.

Flowers can be added almost anywhere in the home. I always have fresh flowers on my dining table and on the table in my boudoir. There is nothing better than waking up to the beautiful spring sun peeking through your window and the sight of flowers right in front of you. Here are some simple tips when it comes to flowers.

Remember simple is chic. Work with two of your favorite flowers and add filler, such as simple greens and wild flowers. I like to stay within the same color palette most of time or you can look to fashion trends for inspiration, such as color blocking.

Who says you can’t color block flowers? Recently I made a lovely arrangement using purple hyacinths and yellow daffodils, all placed in a clear glass vase filled with moss. I arranged the hyacinths higher than the daffodils creating the colored blocked look.

Use your imagination and creativity. If you’re a busy girl and don’t have time, go to your local florist, supermarket or farmers market. And please, when the petals start to fall throw your flowers away and get new ones.

So go out into nature and run around Balboa Park and get some inspiration, and please … stay out of the newly renovated lily pond.

Cheers my little Trendy setters!

Catch me and The Golden Chicks every Thursday night at 1202 at 8 p.m.

Entry of Christ into Jerusalem (1320) by Pietro Lorenzetti

Imagine I have two glass mugs. One is filled with sand, and the other with rocks. They symbolize the ways we can order our lives. The sand symbolizes the millions and millions of little details that fill our days – what to eat, what to wear, what to watch on TV, etc. The rocks are the big things, like family and loved ones, or church or a job that provides for you, or taking Sabbath time.

Here’s the illustration – if you pay attention to the little things first, that’s all you’ll ever get to. You can’t put the big rocks in if you put the sand in your jar first. The point is, if you put the big things first, everything else will fall into place. What a great image!

Now wouldn’t it be great, after seeing this fabulous illustration that it would guarantee our lives from this point on will be so neatly ordered. As they say, the devil is in the detail.

It’s so easy to get buried in the little things – consumed by the tyranny of the urgent. If we don’t pay attention, the big things, like time with our loved ones; savoring meals instead of shoveling down the food; Sabbath rest with God, those things too often get left behind. Our lives get filled with the little things, and there’s all sand, and no room for the big things. Can you identify with this?

In the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes the Teacher has done plenty of reflecting. The Teacher-writer has seen what’s good about life – good food, meaningful work, healthy relationships – and come to the conclusion that the best thing we can do is enjoy these things. And the Teacher’s been pretty honest too; that more often than not, people have their sand and their rocks out of order. That too many days are spent “chasing after the wind.”

It’s so easy to go through life and before you know it, our lives are filled up. At some point, we need to be intentional about how we’re living our lives … intentional, so that there’s room for the important things in our lives.

Being intentional is not the same as being in control. But neither is it throwing up your hands and saying, “Oh well!” Living with intentionality means knowing what’s important to you. It means taking an honest look at whether the path you’re on reflects that.

For example, if you want to retire comfortably, you need to save some of your money instead of having to buy the latest gadget that you just can’t live without. If you don’t want to be alone, then you need to make the effort to reach out instead of waiting for people to come to you. If you want to be healthy, you have to watch what you eat and get some daily exercise.

A life of intentionality takes work. You might have heard the saying, “Most people don’t plan to fail. They just fail to plan.” When we fail to plan, we end up being pulled in a million different directions. But when we know where we want to go, we’re much more likely to get there and more likely to find peace, joy and satisfaction along the way.

A few weeks ago we, the Christian faith, celebrated Palm Sunday. Crowds gathered and shouted, “Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest heaven!” I wonder who the people were in the crowd that day. After all, there was a much bigger parade happening on the other side of town. The Roman governor, Pontius Pilate, was arriving in town about the same time.

Now that would’ve been something to see! I’m sure the horses were bigger and stronger than many of the people had seen before; the armor of Pilate’s entourage would’ve sparkled in the sun, and all of the most important people of Jerusalem would’ve been there showing up to give their necessary allegiance to the Roman empire.

But you wouldn’t have found signs of power and grandeur in the parade surrounding Jesus coming into town from the east. It’s safe to say that his crowd was looking for something different from the one that clamored to get a glimpse of Pilate.

It wouldn’t surprise me that the largest number in the crowd would have been the same people whom Jesus met throughout the previous three years. They were the people who had experienced pain and brokenness in life; and those whom society’s systems had failed them; and those who were marginalized. They were the ones who had been delivered; the ones who were blind but now could see, surrounded by the little children whom Jesus always welcomed.

In all of the excitement, in the festive almost electric atmosphere, Jesus says nothing. There are no promises or stump speeches. It’s not a political rally or even a candidate’s appearance at the local Passover parade. It seems that Jesus is focused on another time and another place.

Yes, something is happening … these two parades coming into Jerusalem will meet. In less than a week, people will dramatically change allegiances, but not yet, not now. This parade is only the beginning. The stage is not yet fully set. The people will have to wait to see how Jesus will respond to their hosannas.

Isn’t that the hardest part, the waiting, the not knowing what life will hold? The uncertainty of the future makes people who like control, like me, kind of crazy. Sometimes we’d like God to act with more immediacy, in a way that gives us what we want when we want it – rather than the promise to be with us in a life with so many variables, where God gives us the choice to fill our lives with the little things (sand) that consume us, or the big things (rocks) that are life-giving and affirming.

I’ve got good news; Jesus saves us from the need for control, from our need to use power or fear to get what we want. We can have faith and trust within us so that we can continue stepping forward in life without having to know all the answers all the time. The triumphal entry sets the stage for us to get lost in the mystery of God, and God’s awesome love for us. You are loved!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Women’s Fest Photo: Ana Pines

Women’s Fest expressions

Women’s Fest was a day-long festival of workshops, entertainment and resources for all women and their allies. The goal of this free festival was to empower women to cultivate new skills, celebrate creativity, build a stronger community and gain access to essential resources.

We shared two tables with our friend Sonia to display and sell merchandise. When we arrived in the morning, there were bagels and pastries in the front patio available for everyone. There were donation boxes scattered so people could donate whatever they could.

The first half of the day focused on exploring body politics within the San Diego queer women’s community. There were workshops held that explored practices and policies through which powers of society regulate queer women’s bodies. The workshops reflected ways to reclaim and emphasize power and authority over our own bodies.

Our tables were in the main auditorium where the performances took place so we got a great view of the talent that participated. We snuck out toward the end to take a photograph representing our empowerment. Painters, sculptors, performance artists, poets and musicians filled The Center with their works and expressions!

Nights out at Rich’s

Thursday, we took our friends visiting from New York to Rich’s ladies night Repent, put on by 607 Productions. We got there with more than an hour left to the night. The music was blasting and the crowd was dancing. The last time we went to Repent it took place in the front dance floor. This time it was in the back with the newly renovated bar where the VIP area used to be. We caught the last performance of the night on the platform next to the DJ.

Rich’s Photo: Ana Pines

Friday night brought us to Rich’s again. Instead of a reunion, it was a goodbye to our friend Lance who’s moving to Virginia. He rented a party bus, as it was also his boyfriend’s birthday. We partied inside the bus for a few hours as the driver took us all around Balboa Park, Gaslamp and Seaport Village. There was music and dancing, and fortunately, nobody fell off the pole. We arrived at Rich’s around 11 p.m. There was some confusion over at the VIP section so we were moved from the couches to the second floor booth above the DJ.

It was great to look down and see everyone dancing and having a good time. If you want a private party you’ll want to check out the second floor. The drinks and mixers are brought up and continually refilled. We even had a private bartender mix us drinks.

When the time came we said our goodbyes and the party bus took us home.

A Bit o’ Burlesque presents Cabaret Boheme

Founded in February 2007, this dance company delivers sassy, saucy and humorous entertainment. The collective experience of the 15 company members covers most dance genres; from ballet to ballroom to belly dance to musical theatre, with many styles in between; all of which they are able to incorporate into this delightfully saucy cabaret show.

The event took place at Tango Del Rey, a Spanish palace-inspired venue in Pacific Beach. The upstairs VIP area provided an unobstructed view of the performances. We received a signed photograph of the company as a little keepsake and chocolates.

There were some technical difficulties that delayed the show but the audience took it in their stride as they ordered drinks and food. The waitress was attentive and the host apologized several times. She encouraged the audience to cheer for the performers to come out and also had a raffle which helped deflect from the minor mishaps.

A Bit o’ Burlesque Photo: Ana Pines

The Can Can girls turned up the heat in Fever and made the audience laugh silly with John and Marsha. Aside from the company members, they had several of their Bombshells-in-Training of The Bombshell Experience perform.

The costumes were beautiful and the performances were very entertaining. In between, the only man in the company, serenaded the crowd with cabaret songs.

The mix of dance, song and comedy made for a nice Sunday night out.

Marva Dawn has written a book called Keeping The Sabbath Wholly. She’s a great writer. The book is practical yet able to draw this beautiful picture of what Sabbath time with God can be, and what’s at stake if we don’t make time for it. In the book she describes the wonderful shape Sabbath might take when we stop working, stop worrying and stop trying to stuff 200 hours worth of activity into our 168-hour weeks.

Making Sabbath time might include things like savoring a relaxing meal. Enjoying a leisurely walk outside. Shutting all work-related books and papers away into a cabinet … out of sight, out of mind. Right? Inspiring book – right?

Until you get to chapter 4, when she casually mentions that she’s a single person with no children and an academic’s schedule. At this point, many people might be tempted to toss the book aside and give up.

Rev. Shelley Cunningham put it this way. “I know I need Sabbath. I don’t know how to get it, but I need it. So, I’ve tried to tackle this whole Sabbath idea in more bite-sized portions. Less like Sabbath ‘chunks’ and more like Sabbath ‘moments.’”

I’m still going to the gym and working out and I’ve been told to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. Sometimes it’s hard to find the time to do it – so, if you can’t do it all at once, try for three 10-minute increments.

Instead of thinking I can’t possibly find a whole day for rest, try for a few minutes every day. Light candles at dinner. Pick up your Bible or a devotional instead of Words with Friends before you go to sleep. Breathe deeply, especially when you’re about to get upset! I’m a work in progress. You’re a work in progress. It’s about intentionally asking what is God inviting me to do in this moment?

Sabbath is better in community.

We hear this in Ecclesiastes, “Two are better than one, for they can help one another succeed.

If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. One person standing alone can be defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.”

As a single person, this text can feel like just one more reminder that I’m going at it without a partner. I’ve read this at so many holy unions and weddings – and I am sincerely happy for the couple, but in my mind I’m asking, “When will it be my turn?” Always the preacher and never the bride!

Being single can seem magnified when it seems the world is made for couples. But let’s be honest, just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t feel alone. In fact, if your relationship is unhealthy or dysfunctional or just plain dead, you might feel even more alone.

Dorothy Day once described her life as “the long loneliness.” I get that feeling sometimes – Don’t you? But she also said, “We have all known the long loneliness, and we have learned that the only solution is love, and that love comes with community.”

Not just with a spouse, or with a partner, or with children. But with others – people of all ages and shapes and colors. With God’s fabulous creation who can be on the journey with us.

It’s that we’re aware of it. We’re paying attention to what God is doing. We’re looking for God’s presence. Isn’t that part of what Sabbath keeping is all about? An increased sense of the holy all around us?

Oh, the power of community. There are wonderful implications to the value of community when it comes to Sabbath – both in the way we keep it, and that we do keep it. For one thing, there’s the accountability factor. It’s way too easy to let things slip when we have only ourselves to answer to. There is a time and a season for everything under the sun. Community helps us see things about ourselves we can’t necessarily see.

Who do you have in your life who can help you focus on time with God? And, who can you help keep focused?

When we come together as a community, we are reminded that God says we’re wonderful, beautiful, unique – awesome! When the world around us might be telling us otherwise. Or when we’re listening to old tapes from our parents or the churches we grew up in. Knowing who we are is so very helpful when it comes to feeling connected to God. It’s a reminder of who we are and whose we are. This kind of community is essential. Never underestimate the kind of effect you have on people and the gifts that you bring to others.

But just as important, is that community brings a measure of truth to the limits we have. That’s where Sabbath comes in. You can’t do everything. You don’t have to fix everything. And Sabbath is our way to remember that.

Last week I had a vacation that turned into a staycation. It started on Monday. I was talking with my neighbors and they said they had thrown wildflower seeds in a portion of my front yard that I had pretty much neglected for the past couple of years, and those wildflowers were starting to spring up and grow! I thought to myself, Oh my – they’re getting tired of looking at weeds and want to see something pretty.

So, since I had some time I was able to take a closer look – and sure enough, I could see wildflowers growing here and there. And I knew I’d never be able to enjoy them if I didn’t get rid of the grass and weeds that were already choking them. Someone asked me how I spent my vacation – and I responded – “on my knees!” I was in my front yard, on my knees pulling weeds – in the dirt. And I thought, this is a huge project, and I could complain about my aching back – but then, it started to become fun. It was therapeutic. I had time to think. I didn’t have music on, only the sound of the birds. Butterflies would wisp by me and I’d get a whiff of a flowering tree on the other side of the yard. A hawk even came and landed in my birdbath and stayed there for quite awhile before hopping off and getting a lizard and flying off – not 20 feet from me!

I had time to think – and let my mind wander. I was so grateful for the opportunity to have the time (to take the time) to take a closer look. Because it was in taking a closer look I was able to see the wildflowers. Sabbath–taking is natural therapy. And I sure was getting a big dose of it and I knew healing was taking place on many hidden levels despite the cramps and aches.

You know, no one ever said this process would be easy. It’s not easy. But it is important. And it does matter. So keep trying. Keep paying attention. Because whatever this theme of Sabbath-keeping is doing in you, one thing is certain: God is stirring you. God is touching a nerve, speaking to your heart, showing you just how much you need Sabbath rest and peace.

And I trust that as this season goes along, we will be changed. Because when God starts stirring, things happen – holy things. And there’s a joy that comes in experiencing those things with others. Amen

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

wtf? where’s the faith?

BY REV. DAN KOESHALL

One of the things I love about our church is the diversity we have. Look around – people come from all walks of life and from many different denominations, church experiences and spiritual paths. We are a community church built on the premises of what our founder, Troy Perry called the three-prong gospel: Christian salvation, Christian community and Christian social action. All are welcome here.

Our approach to faith and Christianity is one of openness, inclusiveness and even exploration. In striving to embrace and celebrate diversity, we don’t say what or how a person has to believe in order to find full fellowship in this community of faith. Everyone is encouraged to bring their own personal perspectives, questions and doubts. Some would call this progressive Christianity – open to considering new ideas and understandings. God is not neatly tucked into a box.

I am blessed to meet with a full range of clergy, imams and rabbis throughout the year. It’s enriching and invigorating to my spirit. God is so big! So, what does this have to do with Easter?

Rev. Fred Plumer told of how he was asked the question, “Do you think the Easter Story is true?” He answered the question as fast as he was asked it, “It must be true. I don’t think the church would have survived for 2,000 years if it wasn’t.” Hmm … that’s a long time.

And here we are – in 2013 – still telling the story of Jesus and what is true are those timeless lessons that Jesus left his followers and ultimately us. What is true is that anyone can experience the “kingdom” or the Realm of God. What is true is that when we experience that Realm, we wouldn’t want to live any other way. And then Jesus told his followers how to do it.

He told us that he could not do it for us. It’s up to us to choose to walk the path. It’s up to us to learn to live a certain way, to think a certain way and to be a certain way. It’s up to us to develop the eyes to see and the ears to hear that the world around us and all we come in contact with are part of God’s creation.

What is true is that when we learn to take responsibility for our actions, make amends for those whom we have harmed and change what we have to change, so that it won’t happen again, then our lives will be different. We’ll begin to experience a true freedom.

What is true is that if we begin to trust that God ultimately has our best interest at heart, we might discover that everything that we do, every action we take, every mistake that we make becomes a new lesson and an opportunity – a lesson we needed to learn. And if we learn from those lessons and put them in perspective we’ll begin to live a full and spiritually fulfilling life.

Rev. Plumer went on to say that what is true is that if we want to stop feeling lonely, if we want to stop feeling isolated, if we want to experience God’s light in others and in ourselves, we have to learn how to stop judging others. For as long as we are judging others, we are judging ourselves, we are judging the world and we are judging God the Creator.

What is true is that learning to forgive others and ourselves is the first step to true freedom. If we want to move forward with our lives, if we want to lift the burdens from our back and remove the stones from our hearts, we must learn to forgive those who we believe have harmed us. Carrying the weight of anger, or judgment, or hurt around, because we cannot let it go, is simply debilitating.

What is true is that we need to learn to love the way God loves us; the way a mother loves her unborn child. When we learn to love our neighbor, even our enemies, as we love ourselves, all of the false barriers, prejudice, racism, classism, ageism and so many other “isms” begin to fall away. When we reach out in compassion to one who needs us or can learn from us, or can be healed by us, then we discover God’s light in them and it helps our light burn brighter. Then we discover we are all connected – we are not alone.

What is true, he goes on, is that if we want to experience the Realm of God, we need to live with a generous heart. We need to be generous with our love, with our time, with our assets. When we hold back, when we hold on, when we try to control and horde anything, it will rot in our hearts; it will spoil in our storage units; it will build up spiritual cholesterol in our lives. Jesus taught that we should not worry about what we eat, what we drink or what we wear or how long we will live. What is true is that when we live with a generous heart we learn that our attachments can become our prison and we can discover how to be free.

What is true is that Jesus taught that life is a gift – it is a rare and precious opportunity. If we treat it like a gift to be cherished, to be celebrated, to be appreciated, our lives will take on new meaning. Our death will have no sting. Life is an opportunity, not a chore that we must simply trudge through.

Jesus didn’t necessarily do something for us through his death; he did something for us through his life! He taught his followers with parables and told them to “go and do likewise.” We are to live it; to risk it; to become it.

If the Easter Story is true, (and I believe it is), it means we have to rethink our values, our priorities, our lives. It means we have to learn to trust God, to give up some of the control we hold on to. It means we have to let go of the attachments that we believe define us. It means we have to stop trying to be No. 1 or feeling badly because we’re not No. 1 and learn how to live as one within God’s great creation, by how we love.

Jesus shared the truth that the Realm of God, that ultimate relationship with God and with one another was available to anyone. That’s the Good News that we celebrate on Easter Sunday; that’s the good news that we can celebrate every day.

How can you know that it is true? Jesus said, “You will know by the fruit that it bears.” In other words, you will know by the peace, the fulfillment, by the contentment, by the joy that it brings to you. You will know it by living it.

There’s a song I grew up singing in church and there is a line in it that says, “You ask me how I know he lives – he lives within my heart.”

My prayer is that you will each experience new life and your own (personal) life-giving truths – and that you live in the love and resurrection power of the Risen Christ! Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Two days ago a friend from Maine called and announced, “It is 31 degrees, so don’t tell me you’re freezing at 60.” The edge to his voice warned of instant disconnection should I dare. What an old crab.

It reminded me, however, of the happy (not) winter struggles of walking home at minus 10 degrees, icicles growing on my nose hairs when I inhaled and mother pulling off my mittens because my fingers wouldn’t bend.

We kids with our many layers of shirts, pants, coats and scarves looked and walked like penguins. Luckily, we had our earmuffs – Maine’s greatest invention (Google “Chester Greenwood” the star of a wild festival every December). True, the endless snow was beautiful; the fights were fun and the girls enjoyed making themselves snow-angels, although that paled in comparison to the boys’ joy of writing their name in golden script in the snow.

At home Dad, for our health (not the heating bill), decreed no heat upstairs – except for their bathroom. He explained it was “for Mother.” Likewise, the only electric blanket was theirs, “for Mother.” We got up at 6, scraped off the iced window condensation to see if snow had fallen, raced across the freezing linoleum for our clothes to put on downstairs, then out to shovel the driveway (Dad had to eat breakfast). Only Northerners can understand the fury and frustration of watching the snowplow come and undo the hard-won pathway to the street. Great memories.

As for our freezing friends today, there is no need to compare temperatures; that would be rude and unkind. Do what I do – ask them to, “Hold on a minute. Can’t hear you. Let me turn down the air conditioner.”

School starts in Japan

April is upon us and my mind returns to my former life in Japan. The school year is just starting there and I recall my trepidation as I headed for the classroom for the first time. I had been told it was an English conversation class of 12-20 freshmen women – a piece of cake to get them talking together.

I opened the door at the back of an enormous classroom and beheld a sea of black heads. They turned en mass to reveal what resembled a herd of deer with their eyes caught in the headlights; frozen, they stared at me. Frozen, I stared at them. All 130 of them – for conversation?

Obviously a mistake had been made. I put on a brave face and grinning like Batman’s Joker asked everyone their name (first name, family name, given name, last name, surname, Christian name). It killed 90 very long minutes before I was free to go and get things straightened out.

The woman in the office listened politely, joined me in my horror at the situation and went to a large book, ran her finger down the correct page and then looked up puzzled and said, “But the room has 140 seats.”

Off to my department head. He listened, nodded sagely and informed me it was too late to change anything. He then imparted what I learned was his standard answer to any and all problems, “Do your best.”

So I told the 130 to open their books and whenever I came near I expected them to be asking each other questions in English. At other times, if they were quiet, I would see and hear nothing. So they read, wrote, studied, knitted, etc.

It worked. Everyone got an A; my department head was pleased not to be bothered further by the foreigner and his problems and I had learned far more than the students.

BIL 2013 Photo: Ana Pines

The BIL 2013 conference was held in the heart of downtown Long Beach with an attendance of more than 600 people. If TED is mostly attended by over-achieving baby boomers, BIL caters to the boomer’s tech-crazed offspring. It is a quirky, populist unconference that’s named from the 1989 science-fiction comedy film, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.

It is fully participant driven, featuring an eclectic mix of technologists, scientists, artists, hackers and those with a passion for community awareness, social entrepreneurship and innovation. The unconference emerged from a community of people who aspire to change the world for the better. BILders are the everyman thinkers and doers of today and for tomorrow.

The speakers share ideas, talk about problems that need solving and discoveries that the community is excited about; Jason Dunn talked about technological advancements with a primary focus on manufacturing in space and Craig Montuori enlightened the room about the difficulty of acquiring visas for foreign entrepreneurs that are planning startups. We left inspired and a bit more hopeful of what’s to come.

There were several sponsors including Bulletproof Coffee. Supposedly, it’s coffee that is as free of mycotoxins as possible. We tried the Upgraded Coffee with grass-fed butter which added a lot of texture making the drink very creamy and thick. It gave us an energy boost that made driving back to San Diego in traffic more manageable.

The Mountaintop

One of our favorite plays of the year (so far) is San Diego REP’s rendition of Katori Hall’s The Mountaintop. The play took us on an emotional roller coaster by going into Hall’s imaginative re-creation of what might have went through Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s head on the final night of his life.

Dr. King was assassinated April 4, 1968 while standing on the balcony of his room at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tenn. After delivering his I’ve Been to the Mountaintop speech, Dr. King retires to his room and calls the front desk for room service. After some discussion he finally gets his request, “just a coffee”. The maid, Camae, arrives quickly and states that it’s on the house for one of the hotels favorite guests. Dr. King flirts, smokes, cusses and calls his wife in the middle of it all.

He talks about his devotion to God and his hope for the people. At times he expresses exasperation such as when a march turned into a riot and people grabbed “free” television sets from closed businesses.

The audience gets to see him as a complex man and not a martyr. Camae tells him it’s her first day on the job but stays to smoke, drink and flirt back. She’s in no rush to leave as the audience anticipates where all this is leading and she finally reveals who she is.

You’ll have to go watch to find out. The play moved us to tears and made us laugh out loud, sometimes simultaneously. The acting was superb and lighting design impeccable. A production not to be missed.

The Mountaintop will be showing until March 31 at the Lyceum Stage. For more information and tickets go to sdrep.org

Family Winemakers of California annual tasting

The Family Winemakers of California’s annual tasting event returned to San Diego for a fifth year. This was their 23rd year hosting the event that was formed in 1991 and first held at the Sheraton Palace Hotel in San Francisco.

There were more than 700 wines to choose from at this event, once only open to members of the trade. In addition to your general ticket you could purchase access to the Reserve Area where you could taste fine wines that retail at $75 or more.

Family Winemakers of California annual tasting Photo: Kim Rescate

The variety of brands, types and business size makes this one of the most comprehensive annual tasting events for wine lovers. Upon entering you pick up a wine glass and a “spit” cup (aka. big red cup). It’s recommended that you have an action plan before arriving to an event like this so you don’t get overwhelmed. We stuck mostly with dessert and rosé wine selections which worked out deliciously well.

Kicking yourself for missing this event at Del Mar? Get a list of all the participants and find out about upcoming tastings by going to familywinemakers.org

PHOTOS.COM

You are cordially invited to join me in celebrating my birthday at The Center – Tuesday, April 2, 6:30 p.m. Only $20 for dinner and dessert catered by Babbo’s Restaurant. All proceeds benefit the outreach of MCC – our Community Church!

Have you ever tried to rest, unplugging from all your electronic devices and screens, spending an intentional day delighting in the beauty all around us? It’s a nice thought – and it’s difficult.

We are busy and there are distractions everywhere. I can take my day off, and I really try to honor my day off, and I can have the best intentions of setting the whole day apart to enjoy the blessings that God has given me. But then as the day goes on, thoughts about work, and conversations, and tasks I need to get done around the house start popping into my head. The demands and distractions around me try to get my attention and distract me from any attempt to find holiness. Can you identify with this?

When I’m trying to have an intentional Sabbath rest unto God, there are times when I almost feel in a panic. “How can I relax when I have all this work to do?” “Why did I say yes to that commitment at this time?” “Oh yeah, I need to get back to that person about what we talked about two weeks ago.” “I had something I was going to do, now, where did I put that stuff?” “How can I expect to get everything done on my to do list this week, it really would be easier if I did some of it today?” Then I start to think, “Oh no, now I’m not doing Sabbath well.” Ahhhh!

It’s endless. If you’re like me, the flow of work we can imagine doing, is always going to be greater than our ability to actually do it. One of the things about Sabbath-keeping is that it has to be an intentional decision. Nothing in our 24/7 world is going to allow it just to happen. We have to make it happen or it won’t happen at all.

Keeping the Sabbath means that we will choose to play, choose to rest, choose to cease our attempts to try and control everything and do everything in our lives, choose to trust that God provides all we need, in spite of the never ending flow of things that rush in at us from all sides. And, keeping the Sabbath means we also choose not to feel guilty about it.

Here’s one way to look at it. Making the choice to play, relax and enjoy the Sabbath one day a week is like building a wall of protection around you – and that wall holds things in your life at bay, like insulation. It’s like having an army of guardian angels around you, shielding you, protecting you from things that would sap your energy if you let it.

When you are in the habit of Sabbath-keeping, you begin to have a different perspective; you can see the life you’ve been given more clearly. There is space – holy space – and I believe holy space to play in while you’re there.

Theologian Eugene Peterson says, “Sabbath is uncluttered time and space in which we can distance ourselves from our own activity long enough to see what God is doing.” In this time and space you can take a breath and honestly answer the question in the reading, “What gain have the workers from their toil?” For some reason, Dolly Parton’s song, “Working 9-5” pops into my head.

“What do I really get for all of my hard work?” If the answer to this question is more hard work, more headaches, more stress, then maybe it’s time to reassess what you’re attempting to do.

A Sabbath day allows you to take an inventory of what God is doing in your life. You have a chance (space) to see those relationships that bring meaning and joy. You think of those people who bring you life and enrichment. You can take an inventory of the people you’re actually surrounding yourself with.

Another thing the Sabbath day allows you to do is to find the time for things you might otherwise never have time for. Maybe you love to play an instrument, but don’t usually have time for it. You dust it off and, wow, you’re making music like you did a long time ago! Maybe you spend 60 hours a week inside a building or a cubicle and yearn for a walk on the beach or a bike ride along some trails. Sabbath-keeping allows you do to those things.

But more important than anything, God’s design of the Sabbath helps us to balance work with play. God doesn’t always want us to take ourselves so seriously. Really! As I’ve been told before, lighten up!

There are a lot of strange and bizarre stories in the Bible that give us glimpses of God’s sense of humor. In the book of Numbers there’s a story about a guy named Balaam. He often took himself too seriously. He was once ordered by the king of Moab to come and curse the Israelites. (They were arriving from their 40 years journey in the wilderness.) At first Balaam refused, because he had listened to God. But after being asked several times, he finally gives in and goes with the king’s messengers. His one condition is that he will only do what God tells him to do. The problem is that he is so sure of his work – and going to do it no matter what – that he doesn’t see God’s angels who keep showing up to stop him from going any further.

He doesn’t see them, but his donkey that he’s riding does. When the donkey sees the angels, she first runs off the path, then she tries to scrape him off her back against a wall, and then she finally lies down, refusing to go another step. Each time, Balaam gets angry and hits the donkey.

That’s when God’s sense of humor comes in (and I believe compassion for the donkey.) God gives the donkey the ability to talk. She shoots back at him saying, “What have I done to you that you hit me three times?” (This is better than Shrek!)

He replies, “You made me look like a fool.” To which the donkey replies, “You’ve ridden me your whole life, have I ever done anything like this before?” Balaam admits, “No.” Now who’s the fool? It’s so crazy, you just have to laugh!

Balaam finds himself arguing with his donkey, and in the end, he is outwitted by her and loses the argument! He was so sure he was in control that he didn’t pick up on the fact that God was trying to do a new thing right there in front of him. And God would use a talking donkey to make this happen. Has that ever happened to you? Not that a donkey has talked back to you, but that a person you least expected to bring wisdom to a situation does just that?

Sometimes we need to just stop and smile … better yet, let out a chuckle or an outright belly laugh. Relying on some humor and light heartedness could be just the thing that is needed to get unstuck.

There is a wonder and openness to God that is available when we just slow down; when we choose to play in the world once in a while, rather than work so hard and take ourselves so seriously that we come to believe our entire world depends only on us.

Let me share a story with you, a true story that took place in a Catholic School in Michigan where someone on staff used to be a teacher. Every year the school put on a production and each class was responsible for their own skit. So the first graders were up and since they were the first ones part of their skit and part of their greeting to everyone was that they were to come up on stage carrying the letters spelling HELLO. When the children came up carrying the letters, the little girl carrying the O went to the wrong end of the line, and people burst out laughing. And the nun who was the first grade teacher was mortified. Here she thought she had everything in control, and one misplaced letter can shatter the illusion that we are in control and the most important person at that moment!

Without holy play to balance our work, things get fuzzy – they get out of focus. Reality gets distorted and we think we’re all that and a bag of chips and our own sense of the space we take up in the world gets larger and larger. Maybe that’s why John the Baptist told his followers, “[Christ] must increase, but I must decrease.”

No matter what our work is, being an accountant, educating the next generation, caring for the sickest people or developing the next technological breakthrough in supercomputing, answering the telephone or making sure that people from all walks of life feel welcome in our faith community, these efforts alone can all be chalked up to chasing after the wind.

If our work is the only way we define ourselves, we join Balaam in making ourselves the fool. Without making Sabbath time, where we delight in what God has done and is doing in the world, we will lose our sense that God is the source of our lives and our passions and the source of all of our blessings.

Sabbath rest and play is like rebooting your computer or tablet when it starts doing wacky things.

Sabbath-keeping recalibrates reality, making it possible for us to see the value of our work (whatever we do for a living) as a small part of the greater work of God. Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

In days gone by my friends dragged me to the bars of Tokyo, Bangkok, etc. where the go-go boys, pumped and panted and performed for a posse of paunchy, pale patrons. (Repeat that three times). One “star” took one look at me and asked if I was a missionary. How does one take that? Pleased? Insulted? Back to topic, nowadays foreign bars have been replaced by local eateries where my chat groups solve the problems of the world.

Our nieces and nephews kindly caution us to be careful with their, I mean, our money, so not to panic them, we converge on economical cafes which change the paper table clothes at least once a day. We ignore places favored by the younger crowd who equate class with the size of the crowd and its loudness. Also Tweeting and twittering are banned, although occasionally there is a twit at the table.

We have a free range of topics, but seldom tackle health: it leads to endless games of one-up-man-ship as to whose is worse. We recently did discuss our general weight problem and were pleased to be reminded by our science guru that Galileo said a body (fat or thin) in motion stays in motion and, more importantly, at rest stays at rest, so when we have trouble getting up out of a chair, we know it is not our fault; it is a law of physics.

At that same meeting some smarty-pants made a comment about Kenyan economics which led me to blather on and on about the poor in Kenya until it was pointed out I misheard “Keynesian.” Of course I misheard. What is a Keynesian? Someone from Kansas? Mr. Smarty was quick to enlighten me. He was referring to one of the greats from the turn of the century like Shavian, Keynesian, Wildian, etc.

See what you can learn from these groups. Join one.

Face facts. Face the mirror.

As I repeatedly tell my family, Lord knows I never offer an unasked for opinion or advice. OK, OK, maybe a suggestion or two breaks forth. I am just trying to spread a little joy, polish and refinement in the world.

For example, I am appalled by the young street walkers in Hillcrest. I mean young people walking in the street. Often meticulous attention has been paid to their hair, its color, grease, spiked points or dangling tendrils; but their clothes are the problem. They are not fashionably unkempt; just unkempt. There is a difference. As I shift my eyes to the seniors, sadly I see too many of the same examples. Not the hair, alas! The unkemptness.

Age is not the issue. We can all appear nice and attractive with a little attention to our outward appearance. It often takes no more than a good look in the mirror and common sense or simply ask, “Honey, does this make me look fat, old, sloppy, etc.?” The answer, “Yes.” Pow! Right in the kisser, Alice! (Ask a senior.) Of course, one fibs a little and says, “No” and then casually suggests something that would look “even better.”

Beyond the clothing, does your hair look like a rats nest? How obvious is the rug or dye job? Look in the back view mirror. Check the ear and nose hair. And brush your tongue when you brush your teeth.

Everyone is too polite to mention it, but when you lean forward and they back off like when a cross is shoved at a vampire, take the hint. You have the breath of a skunk fart.

You are cordially invited to join me in celebrating my birthday at The Center – Tuesday, April 2, 6:30 p.m. Only $20 for dinner and dessert catered by Babbo’s Restaurant. All proceeds benefit the outreach of MCC – our community church!

Like some of you, I was raised in a Christian tradition and was taught to observe Sundays as a special day of rest, seeing Sunday as the Sabbath. And the way it felt to me was more like a bunch of do’s and don’ts. It was about rules and regulations. However, there definitely was a change of pace on Sundays.

We couldn’t mow the lawn or do yard work – no matter how nice a day it was – because, “What would the neighbors think?” I grew up where there were blue laws. Many stores closed on Sundays, including most grocery stores, and you definitely could not buy any sort of alcohol.

Even the elaborate making of a meal on Sundays was frowned upon. Most common was putting a roast with vegetables in the oven before going to church; then coming home, boiling potatoes and making mashed potatoes. Served piping hot, mashed potatoes always accompanied the special meal that we didn’t call lunch, but Sunday Dinner.

Then the afternoon was spent taking naps or playing games or making long distance phone calls to relatives and the Sunday drive. You would just get in the car with no destination in mind; but many times you’d end up at someone’s home usually around supper time! The humorous thing was that most of the time they had no idea you were going to just show up!

Oh, how times have changed! For many of us, Sunday is just another day of the week.

So, what do we do about the third commandment, “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy?” Is it still important?

The commandments, “You shall not kill. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal,” are the ones that get our attention. We can understand the importance of following them and the consequences of breaking them. But what about observing the Sabbath? In a 24/7 world, is it even possible to think about setting aside one day as special?

This Lenten Season, we’re exploring the theme of Sabbath keeping. It’s kind of different and unique, but then, so are we!

Let me remind you, Lent isn’t just a time to give up something, like chocolate; rather it’s a time for intentional spiritual growth and healing. The only things we are asked to give up are the attitudes that keep us from experiencing the gifts of hope, joy and wholeness in our lives.

Lent is the church-calendar season between Ash Wednesday and Easter. It’s a 40-day period that lasts 46 days because Sundays aren’t counted in the 40-days of Lent. Sundays are like mini-Easters. Sunday is always a celebration of Resurrection Power.

This Lent we are going to focus on intentionally taking time for the Sabbath, trying to break the frenetic cycles we frequently find our lives in, making space for God to fill us and renew us.

For ancient Israel, a part of Sabbath observance had to do with rest, and specifically, physical rest. The Hebrew word for “Sabbath” means “to cease, or stop” doing something. Israel had 39 sets of laws governing what they could or couldn’t do on that day. They couldn’t cook. They couldn’t start a fire. They couldn’t plow the land. They couldn’t harvest the crops. They couldn’t write two or more letters of the alphabet. They couldn’t even go out on a long walk. Only a Sabbath day’s journey was permitted.

Now, to our ears, rules like these may sound a bit silly. But to Israel, at that time, they were life-giving. They needed rest. Look around, and you’ll discover that people from cultures all over the world have tried to find a way to build rest into their lives. And, let’s be honest, we need that too.

Our world is only getting faster. There’s so much technology, so much information, so much to take in. And it’s only increasing. We try to speed up to just match the pace of all the action around us.

We spend a lot of time trying to answer all of our emails. We Tweet, we Facebook, and we Linkedin. We scan news Web sites, making sure we keep up with the latest headlines. And if we miss a headline, it pops up on our smart phones or tablets! And, like Pavlov’s experiment, we salivate each time we hear the beep or vibration of our phone. Just try to ignore it and don’t look at it when you feel it vibrate or hear your unique “ding.”

Am I right? So, where do we begin to change our pace? I think this is one of the great challenges of our day; finding the time and the space we need to slow down, to unplug and to stop ourselves from going crazy.

There was a second part of Sabbath observance in ancient Israel. Leviticus 23 describes it like this: “There are six days when you may work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of rest, a day of sacred assembly. You are not to do any work … it is a Sabbath to God.” Evidently, Sabbath-keeping wasn’t just about taking a break from work. It was a day to assemble with others and to nourish one’s relationship with God.

Exodus 20 says: “The Sabbath was a day to remember that God created the world, and when God was finished with the creation, God rested.” Deuteronomy 5 says: “The Sabbath was a day to remember that once they were slaves in the land of Egypt, but then God came along in the Exodus and set them free.”

So, here’s a question for you. In the midst of our busyness, what is it that we need to remember? That God created the world and gave it to us to use and enjoy? Yes.

That if we are feeling broken and wounded, God’s love is available to bring about transformation and wholeness? Yes.

But don’t we know these things already? Sure we do. But in our brokenness, we get too busy and preoccupied, and we forget them. We go faster and faster, and try harder and harder, and we lose sight of the fact that there’s a natural rhythm to life. God has given us times and seasons for our own good.

A reading in Ecclesiastes says this very well: “There is a time for everything, a season for every activity under heaven.” There’s a time to plant and a time to harvest. There’s a time to keep and a time to throw away. There’s a time to laugh and a time when laughter is terribly inappropriate. There’s a time when words are important and other times when words just get in the way. There’s a time to cry and a time to laugh. There’s a time to grieve and a time to dance. There’s a time for work and a time for rest. It’s all part of the rhythm of life.

Like the seasons on this planet, there is a natural rhythm to life. And according to Ecclesiastes, we’re at our best when we live according to that God-given rhythm.

As our world spins faster and faster, it’s crucial to be intentional about the choices we make.

There’s a little word that’s probably more important than ever: No. No, I’m not going to read that article. No, I’m not going to forward that email. No, I’m not going to sit through that presentation. No, I’m not going to try to do it all, try to have it all and try to be all things to all people.

There is a time for everything, including a time to say no. It’s part of the rhythm of life. It’s part of keeping the Sabbath.

As we live out that rhythm, we are reminded that much of life is outside of our control. That’s why I love to watch a sunset over the ocean. (I can’t control that!) That’s why I get energized being in the mountains, seeing a rainbow, eating vegetables from my garden and seeing the variety of people on our planet. Verse 11 says: “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. God has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, we cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.” Only God has that perspective.

It’s true, isn’t it? Sometimes we’re OK with that reality, but at other times, it’s really hard. When we can’t see what God is up to, what choice do we have but to trust? God, I can’t see where this is all going, but I’m going to trust you. God, I don’t always like where this is all going, but still, I’m going to trust you. Sabbath-keeping is a way to live into that reality. It’s an ongoing reminder that we are not in control. God is.

As we begin this journey of Lent, I encourage you to give Sabbath-keeping a try. A little tidbit of information for you, the Sabbath moved from Saturday to Sunday for most in the Christian faith because that’s the day Jesus rose from the dead. But it doesn’t have to be Sunday, especially if you work on Sunday! It just needs to be a day that fits for you. Find a time in your schedule that works best for you.

Find some time, maybe a specific day once a week, to step away from the crazy pace of life.

Find the strength to say no to every demand on your time and attention. Find a way to remember and nourish the most important relationships in your life, including God.

How can we do this? There are a number of spiritual practices you might want to incorporate: daily devotions, weekly worship, eating right, exercise, acts of kindness, focused prayer.

There are also a number of Sabbath-day practices you might consider: going for a contemplative walk; having some friends over to play games; “unplugging” from your cell phone for a few hours; going for a drive on Sunday afternoon and showing up at somebody’s house at suppertime! OK, maybe not that last one. But you get the idea.

Find a practice or two that gives you a change of pace. Mix it up! Now, keep in mind, we’re not ancient Israel. We’re not bound by 39 sets of laws. Jesus said: “The Sabbath was made for us; we weren’t made for the Sabbath.” In other words, the Sabbath is meant to be a gift. It’s meant to be life-giving. It’s meant to bring us wholeness and joy and restoration.

God has given us a rhythm to life. That rhythm involves Sabbath-keeping. It’s about rest. It’s about remembering who we are, and whose we are and drinking deeply from that relationship.

I think now more than ever, we need to be reminded of this ancient commandment: “Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy.” Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Douglas Spain and Kim Rescate Photo: Ana Pines

We attended the Latino Film Festival media kickoff party Feb. 21 at Gang Kitchen in Downtown San Diego. We saw many familiar faces from the community and one that we recognized but couldn’t pinpoint from where. He started charging his phone behind us and then it hit us that it was Douglas Spain. He’s one of the actors in But, I’m a Cheerleader, Star Maps and the list goes on and on. His movie, Mission Park, will be showing March 11 and March 15.

Mission Park tells the story of four friends who grow up together but whose lives take different paths as they reach adulthood, ultimately pitting them against each other on opposite sides of the law. It’s one of the first films to be completely shot and filmed in San Antonio, Texas.

Spain will be in attendance for the March 11 screening along with cast members Jeremy Ray Valdez, Walter Perez, Manny Rey and William Rothhaar together with director Bryan Ramirez. You won’t want to miss it.

Opening night for the festival is March 7. We’ll be checking out Filly Brown starring the late Jenni Rivera and recommend Violeta Went to Heaven; a moving portrait of Chile’s famed folk musician and poet Violeta Parra which we saw at Sundance last year. Operación E and Mariachi Gringo will also be playing followed by the opening night party at Café Sevilla. The festival runs through March 17 at the Digiplex Mission Valley Cinemas at Hazard Center.

San Diego Tet Festival

The eighth annual San Diego Tet Festival (Feb. 15), the Vietnamese New Year celebration, moved from its usual home at Balboa Park to Mira Mesa this year. The festival’s attendance is about 20,000 each year. There was plenty of fun stuff for the whole family to enjoy such as carnival rides, games, lion dancing, firecrackers and many offerings of food. There were also entertainment programs throughout the day. We didn’t win any prizes so it is a good thing we go for the food and entertainment.

The festival is organized yearly by the Vietnamese-American Youth Alliance (V.A.Y.A), an organization that promotes youth leadership, cultural awareness, social awareness and community development for Vietnamese-American youth.

San Diego Tet Festival Photo: Ana Pines

Once Upon a Wedding

We always wanted to attend an interactive show so when we saw that Once Upon a Wedding presented by Laughing Tree Productions was occurring at The Lafayette Hotel we were intrigued. Not only for the show but to see it at the hotel that has pool parties we hear about all summer.

Once we entered we were greeted by the bride’s mother and took a photo with the groom who let us know that if we were interested he still wasn’t married! We were then seated for the ceremony where a panicked wedding planner received a phone call that the bridesmaids and groomsmen were stuck in Mexico where they partied the night before.

This is when members of the audience were plucked up to replace the “missing people”. Ana was selected as a bridesmaid and walked down the aisle with an older gentleman that wouldn’t let go of her arm. The participants took their roles very seriously and even consoled the groom when the bride became infuriated when she noticed she didn’t recognize any of the people in her wedding party.

With no wedding occurring they couldn’t let the food go to waste. The audience made their way down to the reception area for dinner, wedding cake, coffee service, champagne toast and more interactive entertainment.

The family goes looking for the bride and finds her crying under the table. They convince her to go on with the wedding as the audience enjoys their meal. The bride is upset because her parents are fighting and most marriages end in divorce according to the Web site she’s been consulting on her smartphone. Everyone eventually makes up and the new couple invites audience members to come up and renew their vows alongside them.

It was a fun evening full of music, dancing and hilarious interactive entertainment for all ages.

I invite you to join me for my birthday celebration and fundraiser at The Center, Tuesday, April 2, 6:30 p.m. The food will be catered by Babbo’s at a reasonable price and your money goes to a good cause. I hope you’ll join us! … end commercial!

Te amo! Je t’aime! Ich liebe dich! I love you!

One of the beautiful things about language is the fact that we can say anything in a number of different ways.

This past month we celebrated Valentine’s Day. If you’re blessed to have a Valentine there are so many different ways you can speak the language of love. Some people do it through flowers, others chocolates, still others through a card, a dinner or a romantic evening. Maybe you do it through a kiss or holding hands while walking on the beach.

There is such a variety of ways to say what we want to say. Just as there are many ways to say “I love you” there are also many ways in which the Scriptures invite us to experience soul care.

Throughout the past several articles we’ve been looking at soul care – the need that we all have for spiritual healing/inner healing. Moving from brokenness to wholeness, from mourning to joy, from captivity to freedom! Soul care, the journey toward being a positive person who’s filled with hope, joy and praise!

In this series, we’ve looked at Isaiah in the Old Testament, we’ve looked at the words of Jesus – and today, again, there is an invitation to healing, to soul care.

The way the writer in Romans 12 puts it, is that we are no longer to conform to the pattern of this world but, rather, that we be transformed by the renewing of our minds. The writer goes on to say that God sees this transformation as good and perfect. That when our minds are renewed, this is good and pleasing to God – and this transformation is also God’s will for us. God’s desire is our wholeness.

I love sunsets over the ocean. Did you know that walking next to the ocean is actually healing? It’s therapeutic, in that it releases ions in the air that have the power to heal us.

Let me suggest that just as the ions from the ocean bring about physical healing there are also “ions” in the spiritual world which God uses as instruments in our individual healing as we’re on the journey toward healing and wholeness.

So, how do we move from being “conformed to this world,” to being people who are whole; people who have been transformed; people who have renewed minds?

First, let’s work on a definition for the phrase “conformed to this world.” What does it mean when we are living a life conformed to this world? One of the things it means to me is that we remain victims to our past. Listening to, and replaying, and being intimidated by the tapes from our childhood, stuck in old patterns. Listening to those hurtful things we’ve heard growing up and then somehow believing them. Some of us also have old tapes from our churches; that we are sinful, wicked, perverted. Last week I learned a new term PTSSD – post traumatic spiritual stress disorder! And some of us have experienced that and need to be healed from that.

Being transformed by the renewing of our minds means moving from the position of brokenness to wholeness, to a new understanding of who we are as God’s creation; seeing ourselves as good and pleasing and fabulous in God’s eyes; in fact, seeing ourselves through God’s eyes as God sees us, as God sees you.

Let me suggest that in a healthy, authentic community of faith – there are “ions” at work. Ions promoting the transformation from brokenness to wholeness. Just as when you’re walking along the beach you’re being transformed by being in the presence of the ions at work so, in a healthy community of faith, there are “ions” that help us in the process of moving from brokenness to healthiness.

I see some parallels from the ions on the beach to ions in our spiritual lives. I remember a vacation I took to Thailand in 2000. We stayed right on the beach – and every morning I would take a long walk. It was so beautiful and relaxing. I felt a transformation taking place in my mind and my body. Now, it didn’t happen in one walk, or one hour or one day. It was a process. And by day 2 or 3, I began to notice a change. I wasn’t so stressed, I didn’t think about all that needed to be done. I wasn’t paying attention to the time of day or news reports. In fact, I didn’t even turn my cell phone on! The point is healing takes time.

When you walk on the beach, allowing the ions to do their work the natural healing process just takes place; it will happen.

The same is true spiritually. Healing takes place. And it’s important to realize that we heal at different rates. Don’t compare yourself to someone else.

As we allow our authentic community of faith to have that invisible effect on us, like the ions near the ocean, we will experience a transformation – a different outlook on life with more patience, with more love. At some point we will realize, wow, healing is taking place. I’m moving from being conformed to this world and I’m in the process of being transformed, of being healed.

Please don’t misunderstand me. Allow me to talk about how I believe spiritual ions are at work in an authentic community of faith. Again, this doesn’t happen instantly, it’s a process as we’re open to it.

I think attending corporate worship is a healing. Maybe it’s as the choir is singing or during the prayer or during the sermon or while taking communion.

During any of these parts of the worship service there are times I look out and I see you being moved (sometimes to tears) and it touches me and I get choked up. What is that? What’s going on? Perhaps it’s an “ion” at work; a spiritual ion at work touching your spirit.

Maybe spiritual ions are at work as you come in these doors, and an usher greets you with a smile, and looks into your eyes remembering your name; and then you walk into the sanctuary and someone else says hi to you and invites you to sit next to them, another spiritual ion!

Spiritual ions come in a variety of ways. Maybe at a Wednesday night discussion while people are sharing their life story you hear something and you say, “That’s me!”

Maybe in a Sunday School class when you have an opportunity to sit next to someone who comes out as a transgender person and shares their journey from woundedness to wholeness; maybe it’s in a small group that meets in a home; maybe in Centering prayer; maybe in something you’ve read on our Facebook page; maybe it’s in one of these moments that an “ion” rests on you and transformation and healing begin to happen.

In an authentic community of faith, honest people who don’t claim to have all the answers, seeking a relationship with a God who loves them unconditionally, will find one or more, maybe all, of these things to be effective in our soul care and our journey toward wholeness. But for soul care to happen I believe we need to expose ourselves to the opportunities of spiritual healing in our lives. Allow ourselves to be in a place to receive.

Like many of you, I’m on the journey from brokenness to wholeness. And, like many of you, there are areas in my life that God is nudging me to not be stuck in my past, to get beyond that and be transformed by the renewing of my mind. I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m not alone.

Let me share a personal story. Part of my being stuck in the past is wanting approval from certain people. My father is one of them. Since early childhood, when I looked up as my dad was giving the blessing before eating supper and said, “Daddy, teach me to pray.” I have gone on a huge journey with him as I’ve come out as a gay man. It hasn’t been easy. And, to this day, I still catch myself seeing myself with his disapproving eyes. That’s listening to old tapes.

I’m so grateful for the transformation that comes with the renewing of my mind. To see myself, not as I perceive how my father sees me, but to see myself as our unconditional loving God sees me.

Maybe you’re not dealing with your father. Maybe you’re in the process of being healed in some other aspect. Let the healing continue and let your light shine brightly for all to see!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

We all have friends whom we love, but who occasionally make us roll our eyes. Such a friend drove me to a recent California Men’s Gathering (CMG) event. The trip started with the announcement he had forgotten to find out how to get to Alpine and asked me. Foolish question. I can’t even point to north. Friends drive me and I just sit and look pretty. He thought it was “somewhere” near Ramona so off we went.

He was right. We finally arrived and checked into one of the “Quiet Rooms” which he assured me meant there was no talking at night. Another mistake. It meant “no snoring” according to some rather rude guys in the next room who claimed my little cat’s purr was coming through the concrete wall.

Next day we unpacked the huge box he’d brought for his collage-making workshop. It contained books and magazines about collages. Oops, wrong box; the one with brushes, scissors, paint, glue, paper, etc. he had left at home. Oh well, with his enthusiasm and love of art he showed us how to create beauty from whatever we could find.

The next day just before leaving, the car keys disappeared from the pocket of his jacket which he flung in disgust on the floor. Hours later after hysterics, wild accusations and streams of exceptionally creative profanity, someone picked up the jacket and noticed it jingled. Surprise! The keys had slipped down behind the torn lining. How we laughed (sort of).

Did I have a great time? Absolutely. So what if my rolling eyes got a workout; his exuberant personality and sincere friendship overcame all. Such friends are rare and precious. We must appreciate and love them while we can.

Fill out your important papers

A traffic accident recently took the life of a close friend which brought to mind the need for young and old to be up-to-date in one’s will and medical directive.

Many think preparing such documents will somehow signal the end is around the corner. Hey! It is anyway! The only question is which corner. Age has nothing to do with it nor does the size of your estate or your current good health.

The mass of legal, medical, family, real estate problems following your death create a terrible burden for your friends and relatives to face without your guidance. Someone has to answer vital questions and make innumerable difficult choices and that someone should be you.

Through a will or trust you get to tell who you want to get what; plus funeral instructions, burial, cremation, body donation, etc.

And don’t forget a medical directive detailing who can visit you, if they should resuscitate you, give you drugs, pull the plug, etc. Answers are needed at once: “He told me…” is meaningless!

All your choices and instructions must be written and shown to the proper authorities. This means the impractical naming of out-of-town executors and/or health decision makers will result in huge problems. Please name local people, plus second and third choices. Give them a copy of the documents and the medical one to your doctor also for his files.

Your instructions are no good put away in your safe or desk. Save your family and friends from having to make these sometimes heartbreaking decisions; not to mention the possibility of serious disagreements and irreparable hard feelings among the ones you love.

You know you should do it, so do it.

With a sigh of relief, you’ll wonder why you didn’t do it sooner.

The Miracle of the Loaves and Fishes by Bernardo Strozzi

In Matthew 14, Jesus preaches a sermon that makes his mission laser clear. To heal the hurting, to bind up the wounded and moving from brokenness to wholeness. I remind you, we’re on this journey together from captivity to freedom; from mourning to joy; from being broken and bruised; from being a faint person hardly able to stand to being a person filled with hope and joy; to being a person who is positive and filled with praise.

So, what does this mean for us? When I say “us,” I’m thinking of us as individuals, and even more specifically, for “us” as a community of faith.

In our narrative, the disciples are frustrated. Jesus is preaching and healing; there are thousands of people who’ve come to hear him in this deserted place and now it’s getting late in the day and they’re getting hungry. And you know what happens when people get hungry!

The disciples come to Jesus and say, “Send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.” Then Jesus says the most shocking, and yet, instructive thing, “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.”

I can imagine the disciples looking at each other, shaking their heads, dumbfounded. Yet in those words of Jesus, we as a faith community can hear words of truth, that maybe we don’t want to hear, because ultimately we know that is our mission too. That is what Jesus calls us to do. “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.”

As a community of faith, as a progressive Christian church and one that is vibrant, inclusive and progressive (VIP) we are called to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. As followers of Christ, we are called to follow in the footsteps of the wounded healer whose name we bear.

As we look at his life, and hear the words, “You give them something to eat…” we begin to hear the answer of, “What does it mean to be a VIP church here in San Diego in 2013?”

The first thing that jumps out at me in this narrative is that we are called to be a hospitable church. (Kind of sounds like “hospital” – and that may be true – but “hospitable.”) Let me ask a question. Is it possible to truly be the Body of Christ (follower in the teachings of Jesus) without being a hospitable church? I think our narrative says no. Hospitality is the ability to pay attention to the guest.

Hospitality is more than just being friendly. We are constantly told we are a very friendly church. But hospitality means more than that. It means being focused on the new person; on the one standing off alone; on the one who is here for the first time wounded, in pain, searching for healing. And we may not be able to see the pain from the outside because most of us are experts at hiding our pain.

There is not a week that goes by that we don’t have first-time guests here. (I can’t remember the last time!) I don’t think they are here by accident. They don’t wake up in beautiful San Diego and say, “I don’t have anything to do this morning, so, I think I’ll come to church …” No, they come for a reason.

Being the VIP church we are called to be, means I am more focused on their needs than my own. Jesus said, “They need not go away, you give them something to eat.” In our narrative, I see three things that have to do with fulfilling the words that Jesus said. Let me share them with you.

First, we are called to be a community of compassion. What does that mean? One definition of compassion is: sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress, together with a desire to alleviate it.

It’s when we look at our neighbor and see they are really part of us. It’s where we see our own hope and our own desire for healing by looking into our neighbor’s eyes.

Second, we are called to be a community of recognition. What do I mean by that? Well, where we recognize the one who’s here for the first time, (more than just a “Hi how are you?”) or where we recognized the one who’s come back after a long time of being away. Where we have open arms.

Most people long for a place to belong. Many people are just lonely. We live in a time where we have more “close friends” on Facebook who’ve we’ve never met than we do in person. All of us enjoy going to a place where we are recognized. I love it when I go to “my Starbucks” and they say, “Good Morning Dan, we have your spinach feta wrap already in the oven.” Church should be a place where that happens, where people are recognized. I like the greeting in Avatar, “I see you!”

There’s a healing power in simply recognizing a person. And making the effort of remembering their name is so important. Ouch! I try, it’s not my gift but I try.

Oh, how we love to have someone recognize us. I’m a people watcher and I love when I’m at the airport terminal, waiting to board my plane, to see loved ones gather in the lobby, some with flowers, some all dressed up, and then to watch the people get off the plane and try to guess who’s going to be matched with whom. Airport reunions have brought tears to my eyes! We love to be recognized. Being a community of recognition is an important part of being a VIP church.

Third, we are called to be a people who are vigilant.

Where, when we come to church, we are aware, we look around. We are sensitive to that new person coming through the door for that first time.

Do you remember the first time you came to church? How many of you came to the church in pain? How many of you spent the first month here crying? Many of us did. I know I did. As odd as it may sound, this is a gift. Why? Because we have been broken, we then are sensitive to the brokenness of the new person.

Because I have been broken and wounded, I can recognize and respond to that with sympathy and authenticity.

We can relate to the wounded with authenticity because we ourselves are wounded.

Henri Nouwen, gifted writer said this, “No one will be perceived as authentic, unless they speak from a heart wounded by the suffering about which they speak.” Let me paraphrase that, “No church will be perceived as authentic, unless it ministers from a heart wounded by the suffering about which it speaks.”

Again, as strange as it may sound, I’m coming to see this as a great advantage we have. The very nature of who we are, means that we have experienced hurts, misunderstandings, rejection and pain and because of this, you and I are uniquely positioned to be wounded healers.

Why do we provide ministries and programs that reach out into our community in the areas of social justice and healing?

What’s the purpose?”

Let me suggest the answer is twofold.

First, it’s the up-building of the body, the strengthening of the body (as we come to worship we are enriched, our own healing continues, we are encouraged, we are built up.)

And for what purpose are we being built up? Is it only so we can be together and enjoy each other’s company? No one enjoys our times together more than I do. I love worship, fellowship and our gatherings, but I think it’s that and more.

Second, we are all in the process of being healed that we may become instruments of God’s healing grace to others, to the world. This is our calling. And ultimately, as an authentic community of faith, as a VIP church, this must be our focus.

We are not to come and be strengthened and healed just for our own sakes; not just for us four and no more. It’s not just about us, folks. What did Jesus say? “They need not go away; you give them something to eat.”

So, I challenge us as a community of faith to look into the eyes of those who we meet from week to week. To recognize them. They are here looking for healing, hope and wholeness. And as we look into their eyes I believe we will see our mission.

Beloved, as a VIP church that is vibrant, inclusive and progressive, we are called to be here for each other. Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Hillcrest Farmers’ Market PHOTO: KIM RESCATE

We’re excited to share the news with you that we were selected as one of America’s Most Captivating Couples of 2013 in GO! Magazine’s The Love Issue. We’re proud to be able to represent San Diego and show the world that love and commitment has no boundaries.

Farmer’s Market

The Hillcrest Farmers’ Market opens every Sunday from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. We had never been even when we lived three blocks away! It consists of 140 vendors offering a wide variety of locally grown in-season fruit, produce, gifts, arts and crafts and flowers. Just about every booth gives out samples of their product(s). There’s also a great selection of ethnic food in the cooked food area. It’s a great place to get together with friends and try different things. There are vendors selling gift items too. Parking’s pretty crazy so come early. We were lucky enough to be able to park at a friend’s house a block away. It’s a great way to spend your Sunday and feel good about all the people and local businesses that you’re supporting.

One Billion Rising rally at the Spreckels Organ Pavilion in Balboa Park PHOTO: ANA PINES

‘Tasty Truck Tuesday’

With year-round perfect weather, San Diego offers up a bevy of delicious gourmet options on the food truck front. Every Tuesday night from 6-9 p.m. at 34th and Adams is Tasty Truck Tuesday. Singles, couples, families and even some four-legged family members were there to check out what the trucks have to offer. You can choose one, two, or three different cuisines to enjoy. Your choices are not constricted here! We had a Fat Tuesday meal consisting of catfish, shrimp and French fries from Pearson’s and beef brisket with collard greens and blue cheese coleslaw from Slow Cal BBQ. There’s a band that plays live music near the entrance and a DJ in the back, where some seating is provided. It’s a foodie event that should not be missed. It’s a free all-ages event and, yes, they do take credit cards. For more info visit sdfoodtrucks.com and check out the food trucks for yourself next Tuesday.

‘One Billion Rising’

Feb. 14 we took part in this global event demanding an end to violence toward women and girls. The theatre company, InnerMission Productions, coordinated the San Diego participation with involvement from Eveoke Dance Theatre and many others. We attended the community rally at the Spreckels Organ Pavilion in Balboa Park. The event was inspiring and emotional as speakers talked about forgiveness, standing together and demanded a call to action to those that remain passive. It’s incomprehensible that statistically 1 in 3 women will be raped and or beaten in her lifetime. On their Web site you can view videos from around the world in which collectively, women and men used dance to express their solidarity. We can all create change by working together. Women are your mothers, sisters, daughters, friends, girlfriends, wives, cousins, teachers, co-workers, grandmothers, aunts. It’s time to say enough is enough and stand up.

Just as it’s important to care for our physical bodies, it’s also, just as important to care for our soul. Even Jesus got away from time to time and practiced soul care. And if Jesus did it, then maybe it’s something to take a closer look at.

The Gospel of Luke begins with Jesus’ birth, then Jesus being presented at the temple, then Jesus being baptized by John the Baptist and then Jesus going to the wilderness for 40-days of overcoming temptation – then Jesus begins his ministry in Galilee where much of his ministry takes place.

Now, he’s back home for his first public appearance … he’s in the synagogue and all eyes were on him. Imagine the pressure he was under – going back to his home town. You know what it’s like for some of us – going back home where you were raised, where, in my case, they call me Danny, where people remember when you weren’t picked first for dodge ball in gym class – when you got in a fight on the playground – or you were either the shy one in class or the teacher’s pet.

Jesus is viewed as a different person everywhere else. He’s popular, in demand; but in his hometown he’s still that little kid that people remember; in fact some remarked, “Hey, aren’t you Joseph’s son?”

On this first Sunday back in his hometown, Jesus wanted to say something significant, but I think more than that he wanted to articulate his mission. He’s handed the scroll, he unrolls it and finds the place. He knew it was there; he searched for it – he knew he had something specific he wanted to say.

His first message to them was about healing. And so he turns to one of the most powerful passages of scripture. It talks about healing, which, as a pastor, is at the heart of what my ministry is about, and what I believe our mission and ministry at The Met is about.

Let’s look at the context of what Luke records Jesus reading. It’s from the prophet Isaiah, chapter 61. It was written hundreds of years before Jesus – but it’s still as current and relevant to us today as this morning’s New York Times headlines.

It talks about me and it talks about you.

Some of the words that jump out are oppression, captivity, mourning, ruin and devastation (not pretty words).

I believe Jesus sees the heart of his ministry is moving us beyond oppression and captivity and mourning. I want to talk a little more about that.

What are some of the things that cause us to be oppressed?

What are some of the things that pull me into that “broken-hearted” camp?

We’ve all been wounded. We’ve all had hurtful things happen to us. We can all identify with some of these words from Isaiah.

Every week, I hear stories of your wounds and abuses – and part of my joy as your pastor is spending some time in private conversations, listening to our stories as a community.

In fact, I first came to MCC because I made an appointment with the pastor because of the hurts and wounds I had gone through and was still going through. I wanted to come to a place where I could receive hope. I sensed I needed soul care. I sensed I needed healing. My world was unraveling. And I was scared. I didn’t know I needed soul care then; I didn’t know I needed healing; but I knew I was going to fall, so I came searching for a place that I hoped would be there for me as a spiritual net in a safe community of faith. I’m forever grateful for the healing ministry of MCC to me.

There are three things that I see in this passage, this very first sermon that we have on record of Jesus’ preaching.

The first thing, as a community of faith we are a community of people who need healing.

We all experience pain and struggles. We all carry with us hurts from the past. We all need healing. We all go through stuff. Especially as a faith community like ours which is predominantly LGBT. We are especially blessed in the stuff we’ve inherited. (I could write about this for another hour!)

I was so overwhelmed by the reaction of our community with the words of President Obama during his inauguration speech. To have him use the word Stonewall in the same sentence as Seneca Falls and Selma was amazing! And then to have him affirm same-sex marriage! Amazing. This was the first time in the history of the United States that a president has used the word “gay” in an inauguration speech. Sitting on my couch, I just started clapping! I felt affirmed. It was healing to my soul.

This was so powerful to so many people because it says how hurt we’ve been and how much we need to be healed from the stigma that has held us captive. And just the words our president spoke, gave us hope!

Another thing I see as I’ve meditated on this narrative this past week, not only do we all go through hurts, but we also tend to hold on to our hurts. And some of us let anger become our soul food. Some of us turn our abuse into substance abuse. We try to numb the pain and numb our hurts instead of dealing with them.

And then a strange thing happens. We get so comfortable with our hurts that we begin to embrace them; they become part of our identity. And then we go through life attracting that same negative energy, and before we know it, we’ve created a powerful rut in life. But oh, it’s so comfortable!

The good news is that we don’t have to stay in that rut of oppression and captivity to our past. In the narrative in Luke 4, Jesus says he was anointed to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken hearted, to bring liberty to the captives, to bring release to the prisoners, to bring comfort to those who mourn, to give the oil of gladness instead of mourning, to give us a mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit.

How can this happen in our lives? How can we break from our hurts and wounds?

This brings me to the final point in our narrative. We need to learn to let go!

That may mean moving out of our comfort zone. No, not may mean, will mean! We can become so comfortable with our pain. It almost begins to feel like home.

That reminds me of a song by BJ Thomas; “Hey, wontcha play another somebody done somebody wrong song; and make me feel at home …”

Make me feel at home with my pain and my hurt. Oh, so comfortable! Like a pair of old tennis shoes that we just can’t throw away.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not minimizing the pain and hurts of the past. They’re real. I’ve been there, and I know a lot of us have been there. And we also still struggle with this, and we are in the process of healing. It’s a journey of moving from brokenness to wholeness.

And let me say something here. This is what we’re about as a community of faith. (Someone said to me last week, “I think this sermon was more for you than for us.”) It’s true! I’m preaching to myself too. I feel pains from the past, and I’m on the journey with you, from brokenness to wholeness. We’re on this journey together, from captivity to freedom, from mourning to joy, from being broken and bruised, from being a faint person hardly able to stand, to being a person filled with hope and joy, to being a person who is positive and filled with praise.

This process begins though by letting go. And there comes a time when we have to let it go, to just let go. Let go and let God!

It’s scary! For some of us, it’s all we’ve known. Even from early childhood. Some of us learned to live in shame and to live in hiding; and letting go of that is not an easy thing to do.

But letting go is so important – it allows healing. It’s only as we let go can the healing come. As we let go, it will come. Maybe not right away; it might take longer than we expect, but it will come.

I have a vivid memory of when I had to let go. Oh, was it scary! It was the first time I went rappelling. It was a beautiful day and I was with an experienced Marine. The sun was shining, and from our vantage point on the Laguna Mountains, you could look out and see the Salton Sea out in the desert. Such a clear day. Perfect! I get all the gear on, I’m excited; it was a new thing I was going to try; I was ready!

Until, it was my turn to go. I’m situated at the edge of the cliff and the Marine says, “Now, lean back.” And I thought what are you talking about? No way!

“Let go!”

All I could do was hold on. I was frozen. Mr. Marine said, “Dan, you have to let go of the rope to let yourself down. You have to let go to get back on solid ground.”

I had a mental fight – an internal battle. All I could reason was when you let go you fall. When you let go you get hurt.

Slowly I realized, that the only way I was going to make it was to let go! And I did – just a couple inches at first. But then more. Then it became fun. But, I had to let go first!

PS Plan to join us for Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter Sunday services!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

A recent discussion of San Diego Old Globe’s wonderful productions brought to mind my college appearance in Hamlet. Unfortunately the lead was denied me, as the director was entranced by the blond 6 foot 3 inch sophomore, Thor Gustafsen. He with the body of Adonis and the brain of a muffin.

Thor’s inability to memorize Shakespeare’s longest role led to little scraps of paper with his lines being stuck all over the set (if he remembered where to look) and countless heart-stopping moments for the cast which was never sure where his wanderings across the stage would lead or what he would say (if anything).

My talents were utilized by three (3!) pivotal roles; ghost, gravedigger and third torch-bearer plus hiding behind the bush, throne, arras, etc. to feed the star his lines.

Afterwards, as we ground our teeth, he was excessively praised for his performance. Unmentioned was his new found love for his obscenely tight tights and slippers leading him to substitute for Hamlet’s manly stride the ballet dancer’s toe-first saunter, thus causing many to doubt the depth of his commitment to Ophelia.

The production ended with respectable reviews and attendance, but the inner strife was no secret in the department. The director wisely accepted an offer at a new school the next year and the “star” transferred there also (Hmm!). Ah, showbiz.

As for my performance: “His unforgettable muggings and posturings were a jolt to this reviewer’s senses.”

Wow, “unforgettable.” What a great compliment!

Super Bowl comments

My involvement with football consists of several viewings of Danny Does Dallas (an art film of sensitive locker room vignettes), but to silence repeated comments (cracks) about my lack of sports knowledge, I joined some friends and watched the Super Bowl.

First and foremost I must scold the designers: the blue and white costumes were so predictable, no pizzazz; the “gold” on the other side was down-right pumpkiny and all that padding made everyone look bulky.

I enjoyed watching the guys run back and forth and pitch the “pig” (see, I was paying attention). Their crashing into each other and rolling around together reminded me of Danny and his teammates.

I didn’t understand the point of the black-out. I guess it was to enliven the game which it did, especially in the fourth inning when everyone got excited because red and gold suddenly got two points.

I still don’t know why nor why the umpire did nothing when the sexy, tall guy was pushed and couldn’t catch the ball.

Another mystery: why all the pre-game hoopla about the two brothers? They didn’t even play; just yelled at each other through their little mikes. Hunky enough, but rather excitable.

I never figured out who the tight ends were they kept mentioning, but Joe Flacco and a few others kept my interest. I couldn’t help wondering if their locker room was anything like the one in the movie.

All in all, an interesting, exciting afternoon. And the pretty girl sang well.

It’s truly my favorite time of the year … yes it’s me time! You’re probably thinking, “Mrs. T isn’t it your time – all the time?” And you would be right. But I am referring to the time I like to take all to myself after the last couple of months of drunken holidays, usual family sleepovers and seasonal floral and glitter decorating. Finally, 100 percent of me, 100 percent of the time! How decadent!

I think I should elaborate so you all don’t start calling me a bunch of nasty adjectives that would make the hookers on the corner kitty hairs curl!

Every year at the beginning of February I start planning my STD vacation – my Searching Trendy Designs vacation! I take a couple of weeks a year off from my busy career of hand modeling for the local pharmacy. I travel to unique and exotic locations to gather information and ideas for the next and best design trends. I believe experiencing all the local flavor of mystical, exotic and sensual places opens all the senses for a full design experience.

You’re probably thinking, “Damn girl, you’re living the dream but how can I do that? It sounds so expensive!” OK, I am going to let you in on a little secret of mine: gay-ville.com.

This is a fabulous little gem that I came across that allows me to travel throughout the world and book gay-friendly accommodations; whether it be a vacation home, apartment, bedroom or even just a sofa.

Even when I was down to no cash, and had to scrape the bottom of the glue stick to get the last dab so I could finish my eyebrows, I was still heading to the airport for Madrid! I have been to London, Paris, Italy and even Rio de Janeiro all on a drag queen’s budget.

There is a whole world of design out there! Don’t wait for some 3-year-old issue of Martha Stewart Living seen at your doctor’s office, to show you what would work for your home.

Pack up that steamer trunk of wigs, lashes and walking heels and take an adventure and explore the smile of the Mona Lisa at the Louvre in Paris.

Take a gondola ride through the canals of Venice or trek through the ruins of ancient architecture to find your next true design inspiration.

I have come a long way since those years of family vacations in my second cousins trailer in the backwoods of some small town that felt like a scene from the movie Deliverance.

I was there searching for some design inspiration while running from my cousin who wanted to show me how good of a kisser his daddy said he was. The only thing I ever came back with was a bad case of herpes and some chintzy quilt my auntie sewed out of old socks!

Oh how I love my life today! Live your dream today and log onto gay-ville.com and plan your next STD vacation.

First Lutheran Church downtown San Diego

I am grateful for the ways in which diversity and inclusion of LGBT people in our faith communities continues to grow and increase. We’ve come a long way (baby!) – but still have a long way to go.

When the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) was birthed in 1968, it was with the hope that it wouldn’t be needed in the generations to come as more and more churches would become open and affirming.

Well, from Stonewall to gay Prides; through the AIDS crisis; to social justice; to same-sex holy unions and weddings; to full inclusion of our LGBT community, the MCC has been there and celebrates every faith community who is on the journey toward greater inclusion and acceptance of our LGBT sisters and brothers. We truly have a powerful message to give the world – that God (however you define God) loves us all unconditionally!

We want to congratulate our friends at First Lutheran Church downtown on their upcoming 125th anniversary.

When I asked to what he attributes their longevity, Pastor Wilbert “Wilk” Miller was quick to reply, “The church has always been forward thinking and doesn’t ever say ‘we have never done it that way.’”

Indeed, First Lutheran is a Reconciling in Christ congregation, welcoming all people regardless of race, ethnic background or sexual orientation.

Rev. Wilk points out that many of their older members are among the most open and forward thinking. This is refreshing given polls that say it is people over 65 who are most opposed to LGBT rights and same-sex marriage. They obviously share our passion for equality and service.

First Lutheran’s mission statement of being “called to be the heart of Christ in the heart of the city” drives their outreach and ministry.

They have been actively feeding the hungry since 1975. It actually began with offering fresh baked bread and coffee to passers-by on their way to work. They discovered that many were too busy to stop but soon realized they had another audience that did have time: the homeless, the working poor and seniors.

That was the humble beginnings of Friday Bread Day, a program that offered a free warm meal to all who came by. That outreach has grown and morphed into a separate 501c3 non-profit called TACO (Third Avenue Charitable Organization).

Now on both Mondays and Fridays, with the help of some 20 volunteers, TACO prepares a meal for the needy. Included are medical, dental, acupuncture and legal clinics, partnering with other organizations. These clinics are available to all in need. There is even a hospice program for addressing the needs of the homeless who are nearing a life transition. Other ministry outreach includes the ongoing bread distribution on Fridays; AA, NA, and al-anon groups; and participation in Lutheran World Relief and disaster response.

As a church and part of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) denomination, there is much for First Lutheran to celebrate.

In 2009 ECLA became the largest denomination to ordain gays and lesbians in committed monogamous relationships. It also voted to allow congregations that choose to do so, to find ways to recognize, support and hold accountable such relationships.

Pastor Wilk conducted wedding ceremonies for gay and lesbian couples during the 2008 “window” in California.

First Lutheran has marched now for 4 years in the San Diego LGBT Pride parade. The president of their church council is Mary Ann Horton, a transgender woman. But perhaps their greatest pride comes from the feeling, expressed by Pastor Wilk, that they “are entrusted with this little corner of God’s creation at 3rd and Ash. Our greatest desire is that all our doors are open and all our tables are open.”

The congregation has helped Wilk, after 7-years as Pastor, continue to grow because it “has always been open and been very supporting,” he told me. “It compels me to grow and be more open.” He shared that the ELCA’s evolution on LGBT rights, like many denominations’, has been a gradual process. He explained that in some congregations, people were wounded and left with the changes. Yet, First Lutheran has celebrated the decisions that were made in advancing acceptance and openness.

Pastor Wilk invites everyone to join in their year-long celebration. The theme for their anniversary is “Honoring Our Past – Embracing Our Future” and throughout the year, the four living former pastors will all be visiting.

Sunday, Feb. 17, at 9 and 11:15 a.m., they will welcome the national presiding bishop of the ELCA, Rev. Mark Hanson.

We at the Metropolitan Community Church congratulate First Lutheran on its first 125 years, affirm their tradition of welcoming ministry and forward thinking, and wish them another 125 years of being “the heart of Christ in the heart of the city.”

Let’s continue to celebrate diversity and inclusion! You are loved!

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Pole Show LA 2013 PHOTO: ANA PINES

Pole Show LA 2013 took place at 333 Live in downtown Los Angeles. The setup allowed a great view from any seat in the house. Four 18-foot poles were set-up in the middle of the club with seats surrounding it and balcony seating. First, let’s talk about the show.

The show was presented by the pole dance studio BeSpun. The show included performers from around the world such as Cleo the Hurricane and Estee Zakar. They put on a great event with a variety of dance, acrobatics and aerial art. There is no doubt in our minds that these women can kick ass.

They demonstrated incredible athleticism and artistic presence on the stage. Of course, the added element of sexiness made the performances that much more interesting to watch. The audience, which consisted of mostly women, applauded wildly after each display of agility, strength, and sensuality. It was nice to see these things celebrated in women. The service at the venue, on the other hand, was definitely lacking.

One of the perks that they mention with the VIP table is that it afforded us the privilege of getting table service. Our server, Susan L., was, let’s just say, unprofessional. When we first got there she told us that we could just go to our table and she’d be there in a bit. She came back to the VIP area several times but did not glance in our direction even when serving the table right next to us.

The show started and we still did not receive service so we finally had to flag her down when she was heading down the stairs. When we gave our drink orders, she said, “That’s it? You’re only having one each?” Which was an odd question because why would we order more than one round without finishing the first? After a few minutes, she finally explained that if we “only” bought one round of drinks we’d have to pay cash, but if we bought two we could pay with a credit card. She told us the drinks were $12 each, so we ordered two rounds.

Sad to say, that it just kept going downhill from there. She forgot our orders, then brought the two rounds at once to save herself the trip of coming back twice to our table and to top it off the receipt she wanted us to sign wasn’t itemized nor did it have the total amount.

Pole Show LA 2013 PHOTO: ANA PINES

After 10 minutes, she came back and told us that her manager had lost the receipt and needed another one signed. This receipt was itemized and had a different amount than what she had quoted us. It turned out each drink is only $10! Perhaps she was pocketing the extra $2? So she’s basically getting $4 tip for each drink. We checked in on Foursquare and a past guest comment popped up, it seems like this is a practice on regular days as well.

You’d think that they would have had their best staff on call for these $500 VIP tables. What’s unfortunate is that we would have ordered more cocktails if the service had been better.

In contrast, our experience the next day at Candi Samples’ community appreciation party was heartwarming. The bartenders during the event, one of them is Joe, served great drinks for a reasonable price in a timely manner with a smile on their faces and, there were no receipt mishaps! We got there just in time to see Raven Lunatic, Celeste W Starr and Candi Samples perform.

Raven Lunatic brought us luck when she made sure that everyone had a free raffle ticket for special prizes that were being given away between performances.

Tara Hole called out the numbers and winners chose from a set of wrapped up gifts on the stage. We each received the perfect gift, a journal (Ana) and a pendant necklace (Kim).

The community camaraderie we saw at both of these events made for a great celebration of Ana’s birthday.

Last week we started a series on soul care where we talked about working out physically to care for our bodies and keep them in shape and how we need to give the same attention to our souls. And while most of us recognize we have a spiritual component we refer to as a soul, we mentioned the debate of whether we are a physical being with a soul or a soul with a physical being. Either way, the important thing is that we take care of our soul. It’s important. It’s life-giving.

I also mentioned last week that Jesus lived in a hectic world and needed to get away. Hmm, some things don’t change, because we live in a hectic world also, and Jesus knew he needed soul care. And if Jesus did – we do too.

In Mark 1, I don’t know if the word “insanity” was used or not in Jesus’ time, but looking at the passage, I can see things that would make anyone feel as if they were going crazy. This narrative is fast-paced, it’s intense and it doesn’t stop. Like the Energizer bunny, it keeps on going and going and going at a frenetic pace.

Jesus’ fame is spreading all around the country. He’s recognized by the paparazzi no matter where he goes. He can’t go to the market without someone yelling, “Hey, it’s Jesus!” Jesus went to the synagogue and attended temple services, and our narrative says that “As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John.”

Ahh, finally, Jesus can get some rest. He can take off his sandals, kick his feet up and watch some TV in the privacy of a home. But no, Simon’s mother-in-law is sick with a fever, and they tell Jesus about it, just as he was getting comfortable. He goes into her room, takes her by the hand and lifts her up and she’s healed by his touch! Her fever left her immediately, and now she’s feeling so good she does what my mom would want to do when she had company – she started preparing something to eat and serving them.

Now, Jesus and his buds can relax. They can rest from the pressing of the crowds, from the debates, from the demands, from people sapping the energy out of them, from moving at a very fast pace. I can just imagine them having a delicious meal, taking the coveted Sabbath afternoon nap, and then Jesus saying, “Hey, Simon, feel like watching a movie? Do you have Ben Hur? Or better yet, Steel Magnolias?”

It’s getting to be sunset, the smell of popcorn is in the air, and they are ready to settle in for the evening when, as our passage says, “that evening, at sunset, they brought to Jesus all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door.” There goes the movie night – no rest for the weary.

Talk about Jesus being under a lot of pressure. Jesus cured many who were sick with various diseases and cast out many demons. Not just a few, but the whole city was there! Talk about insanity. I like the part in Jesus Christ Superstar where Jesus finally just screams from all of the demands on him! Ahhh! Enough!

Jesus recognized he couldn’t go on like this. With the whole city gathered at the door, call it insanity or anything else that’s fits for you, something was going to break. Something was about to crack. Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt like that?

Imagine with me; they finally got to sleep after an exhausting evening that probably went on into the wee hours of the morning. The house is quiet. Pretty soon, after a short night, they smell the aroma of fresh coffee brewing, of delicious cinnamon rolls baking The house is smelling good and people begin to stir. They knock on Jesus’ door. “Jesus, time to get up.” No answer. “Jesus, breakfast is ready.” Still no answer. They open up the door and he’s not there.

I wonder if they panicked. I wonder what was going through their minds. Did all of this finally get to Jesus? Could he not take any more? Did he crack under the stress and pressure? What would you do if you were in their shoes? They were so alarmed and so worried, that our narrative reads, “They hunted for him.” Not just looked around, but hunted!

So, what was Jesus doing as all of this is going on? As our narrative tells us, “Early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.”

He prayed. How many of you have seen the painting of Jesus on one knee, praying? It’s a famous picture. But, in my mind, I don’t see Jesus going and just staying in that prayer posture during this time. I think prayer is so much more than that. I can imagine Jesus walking, thinking, having a time of renewal and healing.

Prayer is a time when we move outside of our humanity and connect to the divine – to something bigger than ourselves, to God, however you define God – when we fan the flame of divinity that is within us.

I think prayer and communion with God happen in so many different ways. It could be during a conversation with a friend, it could be in solitude, it could be in church while the choir is singing, it could be at the beach and it could be while watching a movie.

In my office I have a Tibetan Prayer Bowl. We have used it during Centering Prayer. To me, it’s a reminder of the power of prayer and that we can learn a lot from other faith traditions about prayer also. Prayer is breaking down the barriers between us and the divine – allowing healing and renewal.

I’ve had moments, during the many forms of prayer I’ve just mentioned, where I’ve had an “aha” moment. Where a curtain was pulled back, and a light shines in, where problems that looked so huge were brought into perspective. It was in those moments that I realized and knew that it was going to be OK … that God is with me.

During moments of prayer, I open myself to the realization that God is bigger than me, bigger than my problems, bigger than my enemies, bigger than my stresses – and as I open myself up to God, it is the beginning of a healing in my soul. It is a step toward soul care.

Have you felt like the whole city was gathered at your door? And it’s almost too much to bear? You just want to run and hide? You feel like you can’t take it anymore? Jesus understands. He was there.

They were hunting for Jesus – everywhere! They looked up and down the streets, at his favorite deli – finally they get to where they least expected to find him. In a deserted place all alone.

“Jesus, what are you doing?”

“I’m doing soul care.”

Jesus knew he needed soul care.

He found himself in what today we might call a toxic environment. He needed to pull away from it all. What is toxic? It’s anything that poisons. One of the synonyms for toxic is venomous, like the bite of a poisonous snake.

But, in most cases, poison is not quick. It is slow and painful. It’s not sudden, it’s gradual. And when we find ourselves in toxic environments, we don’t recognize it right away. Getting away – having regular soul care – helps us to see more clearly. And then allows us to do something about it. Self-care. Soul care.

I want to close with two questions:

First, what toxic environments are a part of your life? What are they for you? Working too much? A relationship? Negative friends? Where you hang out? It’s different for each of us, what is it for you? What are those toxic environments in your life that you need to get away from?

Second, where is your solitary place? Where do you get away from the crowd, like Jesus did?

It might not necessarily mean that you’re all alone? For some people, their pets bring such comfort, just petting your dog or your cat brings healing. For me, it’s sitting in Starbucks having a cup of coffee in a relaxed setting. Where is that for you? Where is that place where you can pull back from the toxic environment that can so quickly overwhelm us?

Jesus knew he needed soul care. If it’s good for Jesus, it’s good for me too. Amen. Namaste.

Many years ago when money was tight I innocently put a “fun roommate wanted” ad in a gay paper. The result was when it came time to discuss a few rules most applicants were less interested in getting a couple of things straight between us than in getting a couple of straight things between us; but I digress.

Finally I chose cheerful, snappy James/Jamie who proudly announced, “I’m a bi-sexual trans lesbian.” Foolishly ignoring the danger signals in that convoluted pan-sexual description, I thought, “What fun.”

We agreed no pets other than her fish and “Fish” turned out to be plural: 15 goldfish, each in its own name-labeled mason jar artfully arranged in a cross on the floor!

The plot thickened: JJ (my idea) began and ended the day by singing to them. Loud gospels greeted the dawn and quiet lullabies the dusk when she accompanied herself on her lute (Yes, lute!).

Odd individualisms and odder still individuals soon appeared. Fun was fading.

The final straw was her moving in her friend “Paul,” a pre-op female to male, who was taking huge doses of testosterone resulting in wild mood changes and a veritable carpet of hair on her still intact, massive breasts.

She once exposed all to a duet of young Mormons sending them fleeing and assuring me sanctuary from further visits. Grateful as I was for that, I was about to evict them when they decamped in the night leaving 15 desolate companions and one month’s rent due.

The next tenant was quiet, but a neat freak who constantly complained about finding hair everywhere.

Laziness: the curse of the young and old

In the supermarket this week I found an extremely disheartening example of American laziness. My horrified eyes focused on a pack of “frozen peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.” Frozen. How lazy can we get? Has making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich become too exhausting for our modern family? It seems so.

Daily we get reports, discussions and interviews on TV reminding us our diets and laziness are resulting in obesity for the young and heart attacks for the old.

We seniors are as guilty as the young as to disregarding the warnings and the connection between them and the poor health and flabby physiques of our friends and ourselves until the heart attack, dizzy spell or shortness of breath suggest we should have paid more attention.

For those of any age with no willpower for serious exercise and diet control, I offer four simple “don’ts.”

1. Don’t use the elevator. Walk up. Go slow, rest every few floors; no rule says no stopping.

2. Don’t take the bus or drive less than ten blocks. So it takes 20-30 minutes; plan for it.

3. Don’t use the TV remote. Get up and down every time.

4. Don’t rely on TV dinners. Stand, move and cook for yourself. Julia made it to 92! (Ask a senior.)

There are lots more equally easy activities to improve your health and body, but I’m out of space.

I’m curious, how many of you made a New Year’s resolution this year? How many of you have broken them already?

There is a long tradition of making New Year’s resolutions. It’s an opportunity to reflect on our current actions and set goals to achieve, or make resolutions to change. Typically, resolutions have to do with losing weight, improving health, exercising more, increasing business, or making more personal and family time.

But one thing about New Year’s resolutions is that, for most of us, we don’t continue with them; we don’t succeed and then we can take the mentality that we’re a failure.

I received an email from author Robert V. Taylor, where he talked about giving up on New Year’s resolutions because he realized that they were “quickly consigned to a closet to gather dust.” Then he talked about a conversation with a wise friend that led him to wonder, what it would be like, instead of making a resolution, to select a word as his companion and mantra for the year ahead. What a novel idea.

A new practice for choosing a new way to be in the New Year ahead. What words would you choose? Creativity? Awareness? Imagination? Love? Friendship? Abundance? Healing?

This is not my New Year’s resolution, but I made a decision to go back to the gym. And I started it in December – intentionally. In fact, I knew I needed help and motivation, so I hired a personal trainer. That works best for me because now I’m accountable, and I’m going to go because I already paid for the session!

So, the ruthless trainer is taking this physical body through the wringer, and I’m sore. But it’s a good sore! Many of us go to the gym because we want to see results, and if we’re going just for that reason, then it’s only about the outside – the physical. But for me, I know there are so many more benefits, like having more energy, releasing stress and feeling good. It’s more about the inside than the outside. Fitting into my clothes better and being able to walk up a hill without getting winded is just a by-product. So, I’m doing self-care. What too many of us neglect to do … self-care.

While most of us recognize we have a spiritual component we refer to as a soul, there have been debates over the centuries whether we are a physical being with a soul or a soul with a physical being.

Great thinkers throughout history have always recognized there is more to us than just flesh and blood – more than just a physical body.

Now, I confess I’m not smarter than those who debate this, but I know that our soul is extremely important, and when we fail to care for our spiritual side, we are not acknowledging our full humanity. Because, just as it’s important to care for our physical body, it’s also important to care for our soul. Self-care. Soul care. Recognizing the divinity in our humanity.

The Gospel of Mark reminded me that Jesus needed soul care. Mark, in his gospel, has Jesus moving immediately from his baptism, into his temptation in the wilderness, putting his presidential cabinet together, known as the twelve disciples.

Mark goes on to say, Jesus heals many … those with leprosy, the paralyzed, he was involved in a theological controversy over fasting, then Jesus heals on the Sabbath and really gets the religious leaders of the day all wound up – and they begin to plot to kill him. And Jesus says, “I need to get out of here. I need some soul care.” What better place to go than to a lake. So, he went to the water.

Now, we are blessed on so many levels to live in San Diego. But one of the beauties is that we live by the ocean. I love that every time we come to The Met we see water – the beauty of the bay.

I love to go to the ocean. A ritual I have is to watch a sunset over the ocean on New Year’s Eve. There’s something powerful and cleansing and symbolic about that to me. Watching the sun set, on the last day of the year, over the ocean, the farthest vantage point we have, however many miles it is that we can see in the distance. To me the ocean is healing also.

Another jewel we have here in San Diego is the Hotel del Coronado. When the legendary hotel opened in 1888, its spectacular seaside location attracted guests from all over the world. Even back in the 1800s, vacationers understood that ocean retreats restored body and soul, and 19th century travelers prized seashore destinations above all others.

What Victorians understood instinctively about the sea is that it was physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually beneficial and it has now become accepted wisdom. In fact, professionals from medical doctors to environmental psychologists understand that the seashore is therapeutic on many levels.

Sea air is always refreshing, and for good reason. Charged with an abundance of particles called “negative ions,” ocean air increases our ability to absorb oxygen. It’s no wonder, then, that a walk on the beach clears the head and helps us think more effectively.

In addition, the negative ions that saturate sea air are credited with helping to destroy airborne bacteria, as well as to reduce the effects of dust, pollen and histamines (which are linked to allergies). They are also thought to have a beneficial effect on everything from insomnia to depression to migraines (some hospital burn units even use artificial “ionizers” to speed healing).

Our homes and work places are full of positive ions – which we get from computer screens, TVs, our smart phones – any electronics. And being by the ocean washes those away. It’s cleansing. For me, when I go to the ocean, it’s always a time of inner renewal – and the interesting thing is, I live close by, and I don’t go that often. Oh, I need to do better self-care. Better soul care.

Water is also calming. When I came out to my family, I came out to my dad first (parents divorced). Dad lived here in California and mom in Wisconsin, so when I told him I was going to come out to mom he told me to take her by the lake because it’s calming and she would need it. I’ll never forget our time together and the heart to heart talk we had.

We read in Mark 4, that people were sapping the energy out of Jesus. There was a plot to destroy him. And Jesus said, “I need soul care.” If Jesus needed soul care, then don’t I? I should never be so self confident, so vain or presumptuous to think that I never need soul care. I want you to know I’m not talking just to you. I need to hear this too!

This is a new year. We’ve finished with the hecticness of the holidays; traffic is back to being busy; we are standing in lines; hurry up and wait; maybe people are sapping the energy out of you in various ways. Maybe some are even out to destroy you.

Verse 11 says, “Whenever the unclean spirits saw Jesus, they fell down and cried out…” We live in a different culture today, but there are still unclean spirits that we deal with. We, too, have our negative voices playing in our head, abuses and wounds we’ve carried from the past that we haven’t let go.

The only way for healing and soul care to happen is to face these things head on.

Maybe you’ve heard the term, “face your demons.” I’m not talking literally, but figuratively. Facing those negative voices in our head; facing that negative self-image; those things that tear us down; those things that keep us from being whole.

During the next several weeks, we are going to be looking more closely at practicing soul care. What does that mean for us? In life, we all have stress and pressure and it affects us spiritually. It affects our soul. We need to practice self-care. We need to practice soul care.

If Jesus needed soul care, then don’t you think we shouldn’t be so self assured as to think that we don’t need soul care too?

From looking at the teachings of Jesus we can find hope and healing. We don’t need to remain a prisoner by negative thinking, negative people or negative experiences. As Jesus needed soul care, we do too. Where are those areas in your life where you need some soul care? As Jesus reached out to others, so he reaches out to us. Let your soul care begin. Let the healing begin. Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

In flight over East San Diego

Flight lesson No. 1

Kim: “Push the stick forward and the houses get bigger. Pull the stick back and the houses get smaller. That’s all there is to flying”, or so I’ve heard. I was about to find out during my first flight. I was a little nervous and had to remind myself that I’ve done bungee-jumping and skydiving so this one should be a breeze because this time, I am the one in control.

The first challenge was taxiing. Unlike a car, where you steer with your hands and control speed with your feet, in a plane you steer with your feet and control speed with your hands. This took some getting used to.

We flew over East San Diego and began our maneuvers. We went over the basics: straight and level flight, making shallow turns, climbs and descents and trimming the nose (there’s a little wheel or crank I had to adjust in between myself and the instructor to set up back pressure and make flying easier). I had to keep my right hand on the throttle and hold the yoke with my left hand at all times, keeping in mind the combination of three axes in flight and adjusting for them. For example, when banking, it not only turns from side to side, it also rotates horizontally which in turn changed our height. I had to work the pedals, turn the yoke and had to pull it or push it.

Landing the plane was a little awkward. Since I am fairly short, I could hardly see over the instrument panel. When the instructor pointed out the airport, I didn’t see it until much later. I was only able to point the plane to the right direction because of the heading indicator. We landed very smoothly and rolled the plane in its parking spot. When we drove away, I could hardly believe I flew a plane! I definitely want to do it again.

San Diego Restaurant Week

Ana: Kim took me out for a pre-birthday dinner during San Diego Restaurant Week at Bleu Bohème for some French cuisine. They provided a pre-selected menu that was sure to please any palette. We had La Charcuterie (smoked meats), and Soupe à l’Oignon Gratinée for appetizers, the Boeuf Bourguignon and Filet de “Roi” Saumon for our main entrees and Profiteroles and Crêpe à la Crème Brulée for dessert. All washed down with a glass of wine. My official birthday is this upcoming Saturday, Jan. 26 so make sure to ‘holla at yo girls’ if you see us around. Drinks welcomed.

South Bay Drive-In

Brrr, baby it’s cold outside … so why not snuggle with your honey at the South Bay Drive-In? A fun and cheap alternative to the regular movie theaters. You can see two first-run movies for only $7. The concession is not pricey but you can bring popcorn, beverages or even a take-out dinner. We brought blankets, snacks, cranked up the volume and settled in for a perfect date night. They don’t take plastic, so make sure to bring cash.

Three Kings from the east visit the Holy Family in Bethlehem. This window is located in the cathedral of Brussels and was created in 1866.

It’s the end of January already! How many of you have still kept your New Year’s resolutions?

I spent New Year’s Day taking down all of my holiday decorations, boxing them up, putting the boxes in the rafters of my garage and then cleaning up. I mean a deep cleaning. Polishing the furniture, vacuuming, cleaning the floors and by the end of the day it was clean and shiny in the house. I took a look around and said, “It was good!” I was ready to begin 2013.

A couple weeks ago, we celebrated Epiphany. Shifting from rejoicing at Emmanuel, God’s coming among us, to reflecting on what that means in our daily lives.

Centuries ago, the church named the twelfth day after Christmas “Epiphany” to celebrate the light of Christ coming into the world. I looked up the definition of epiphany, and it means a manifestation, sudden appearance. It is an experience of sudden realization … kind of like that light bulb going on! Generally, the term epiphany is used to describe breakthrough scientific, religious or philosophical discoveries, in which an enlightening realization allows a problem or situation to be understood from a new and deeper perspective!

Originally, it was thought that this insight came from the divine. Christians believe that Jesus coming into the world is an epiphany of who God is – a greater understanding of God’s unconditional love for all. We say it often at The Met – let the light of Christ shine brightly within you. And it’s interesting that the Magi (commonly referred to as the three wise men) followed a great light, shining brightly.

The holidays are traditionally a time for unity. People come together, families gather (that’s why for so many it’s one of the loneliest times of the year). Even during world wars, both sides often stopped fighting and sang to their enemies or even walked across the battle line to share gifts with them. (They called them Christmas ceasefires.) It’s a time, unlike any other, when everyone seems to be able to focus on peace.

But Christmas has passed. And if we’re honest, we can almost feel that the temporary spirit of peace has passed away also. It seems we live in a time of deep division, when compromise is often seen as weakness. We live in a time of party and tribal purity, in which the classic “us” versus “them” dominates. Emotionalism, blaming, and scapegoating take precedence over reason, working together and accepting responsibility.

The “us” versus “them” mentality says if you’re not like us, you must be against us. If you don’t agree with us, you must be wrong. The list goes on and on: white against people of color; pro-life advocates against pro-choice supporters; progressives against conservatives; Westerners against Middle Easterners; Muslims against Christians; rich against poor; fundamentalist against homosexual; male against female; whoever against someone else. “Us” against “them.”

Jesus was, born in a small town in a totally Jewish environment where anyone outside of the community was viewed with suspicion and generally unwelcomed. Our narrative today uses the term Magi to refer to these foreigners. They break into the narrative unexpectedly. They are foreigners, they do not belong here, they are the “other.” They are the “not like us” ones. They journey to Bethlehem, and find Jesus. These foreigners came into the midst of people who saw themselves as God’s special people. These foreigners, wearing different clothes, having a different skin color, language and culture, and even a different way of worshiping God – shattering the religious norms of the day, claimed this gift, Emmanuel, God with us for their own. And in so doing, they claimed it for all people.

This story marks the beginning of a new understanding – an epiphany. It’s now become a story of a God for all people (and not just for us four and no more), a God of unity, a God who moves people beyond the trap of “us” against “them.”

Magi bringing gifts, highlight the fact that the ultimate gift is that God loves all people unconditionally, in all times, in all places – a gift for every “us” against “them,” – a gift of unity. A gift for you. A gift for me.

These three foreigners, these three outsiders, remind us once again that our job is to embrace and teach that no one is so different that we dare treat them with less love or less respect than we would show those whom we call brothers and sisters. There is no gentile, no “other” who exists beyond the circle of God’s love. What can separate us from the love of God? Nothing! It reminds us also, that divisiveness is not consistent with the values of God.

It reminds us that God values the unity of all people – Jew and Gentile, Christian and Muslim, conservative and progressive, rich and poor, male and female, black and white and red and brown, brave and cowardly, married and single, gay and straight, young and old – “us and “them.”

On this first month of the New Year, we have survived the fiscal cliff; we have survived such division where commentators say they’ve never seen anything like this before. Now, more than ever, we need to understand the message of the Magi in our story today.

As I’ve been looking at this story, I’ve seen truths in this narrative for the very first time. Like you, I’m on a spiritual journey, and I get excited when I see things that touch me – let me share with you a couple:

Inclusiveness is pretty high on God’s list of priorities.

Why does Matthew introduce these characters to wrap up the Christmas story? It could have been so many respectable people, but he chose people from the outside. Maybe, because HE was an outsider. He was a tax collector looked down upon by the majority.

Inclusiveness does not have the “us” versus “them” mentality. And, I understand the “us” versus “them.” I was raised in that environment. Let me tell you a story. When I started dating, my mom said to me, “Dan, I look forward to meeting the girls you date, bring them home, I want to meet them; but don’t bring home anyone who’s black.”

I was dumbstruck, I was in shock. Now, I love and honor my mother very much, but what she said never sat right with me. And I know from this story that there is no place in God’s heart, and God’s values, for that kind of thinking. There just isn’t. Mom and I never had that conversation again – and I never heard another racist thing come out of her mouth before or since then – that’s why it just caught me so off guard.

And this story, today, has caught me off guard. It’s another reminder, a powerful reminder in a story I’ve heard all my life that God’s inclusiveness is great. It is powerful. And it’s a value I want to foster more and more in my life.

If you’re feeling that God doesn’t love you because you see yourself as “other than,” on the outside looking in, and you don’t “fit in” – stop it. As Robert Schuller would say, “God loves you and so do I.” But I’ll never be able to love you as much as God loves you.

Celebrate God’s inclusive love for you. Celebrate the gift of God with everyone in the whole wide world, and God be with you. Amen.

Happy 2013 everyone! I hope you all survived the holidays. I had a wonderful holiday this year and I have so many things to be grateful for in this coming year.

The one that tops my list is that my hangover has finally gone! WOW, that was one hell of a party those Golden Chicks of club 1202 threw! Those girls know how to knock ‘em back; they drink Tequila like I go through hairspray! I could not remember what year it was never mind the day. I finally came to somewhere around Jan. 2!

Like my mamma always said, “It ain’t a party till your underwear is wadded in your purse and the lights go out.” Oh my cher, believe me when I say how happy I was that I had blackout curtains and soft lighting; gurl all I wanted to do was “turn back time!”

There are a couple of things my mamma instilled in me; always carry an extra pair of undies; never run out of hairspray and never have bright lights in the bedroom. No amount of makeup can hide the “morning after.”

Girls, we all know how important perfect lighting is! With a simple flick of a switch we can drop 10 pounds, fade away the years or set the perfect mood for some passionate kitty petting. Lighting is every girls BFF or worst nightmare.

Since it is so important to us why shouldn’t it look fabulous as well? This is not my grandmother’s chandelier anymore. Today we are seeing a trend in using cut crystal in many different shapes, sizes and colors.

Here is a little something I like to call “Trendyology” – look inside your closet and see what items bring out your best assets and transform those into your surroundings. Personally, I look gorgeous in diamonds so I like to bring a little bling out in my surroundings in ways that make me sparkle!

So you could imagine how excited I was when I was shopping in my favorite design store, At Hom in Little Italy, and came across these exquisite pieces of lighted jewels! They were like, diamonds in the sky.

So as I was trying to grab a couple I was caught off guard, like Rihanna with a right hook. Needless to say I sweet-talked my way out of that predicament and walked out of there with several new fixtures to adorn my boudoir.

I love nothing more than being flat on my back and looking up at something that sparkles back at me, besides the rhinestones on my pedicure.

There are many different types of lighting and countless ways to create moods to best suit your needs. Here are a couple of simple tips to making lighting your friend. If it’s too bright no guy will stay the night. If the light is shining down you will always have a frown and, finally, the bigger the flaws, the dimmer the light.

When I was growing up my mamma always had the softest light in the bedroom; the windows were always slightly covered with a sheer drape; the overhead lighting never worked and all the lamps in the bedroom were draped with chiffon scarves.

It wasn’t till I was old enough to tease my own hair did my mamma explain to me her boudoir tricks and she would say to me, “Child, to catch a man you have to set a trap, but to keep a man you have to keep them in the dark!” Now I know why my papa never left and why I also have eight brothers and four sisters! I sometimes wish she would have turned on the overhead light, and then I might have had my own bedroom.

I would like to thank all my Trendies out there that have been following me and if you have a design idea or would like some of my flawless design advice, don’t be shy, contact me at facebook.com/trenwen.

I would love to hear from you and do a little designing with my Trendies.

If you are in need of a little excitement then come and see me perform at club 1202 Thursday Jan. 17 and Jan. 31. Till then keep your hair up high and the lights down low.

A Victorian stained glass image depicting Jesus, from a church in Wales.

In this article, I’d like to talk about the importance of Jesus having truly been a human being like us and what it means to also see him as God Incarnate. Now, I realize this topic may be more for those who follow the Christian faith, but read on, I believe there are universal truths here.

I grew up in a Christian tradition that said I needed to repent of my sins (that I was born into sin), and if, and only if, I asked Jesus into my heart by repeating a certain prayer, accepting him as my Lord and Savior, would I be able to go to heaven. I now see that tradition as very narrow and exclusive. I believe receiving God’s love is so much wider. It’s more than repeating a prayer.

Almost from the very beginning, Christians have called Jesus “Savior.” In Luke’s story of Jesus’ birth the angel’s announcement to the shepherds says, “I am bringing you good news of great joy for all people; to you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, who is the Messiah, the Lord.” Can’t you just hear Linus saying that in A Charlie Brown Christmas? Clearly, Luke sees Jesus as a Savior.

What exactly does it mean for us to call him Savior? Theologian T. Sorenson helps give a progressive Christian view to that question by saying, “If Jesus is our Savior, then we must need saving from something.”

Now, for many of us, we’ve been told what we need to be saved from was “sin.” I remember the “Repent” and “Turn from your sin!” signs at December Nights in Balboa Park. I didn’t see anything loving and inviting about them.

Many of us grew up hearing we needed to be saved from sexual sin – especially the “sin” of homosexuality – even going so far as to say AIDS is God’s response to gays – and it was the homosexuals that helped cause the devastation of 9/11!

Sin and its feared consequences (some believe it is going to hell) are very real issues for many people today. Many also fear that life has no real meaning, and that our ultimate destiny is nothingness.

Sorenson says that all three of these things – sin, meaninglessness and the fear of nothingness – are existential dilemmas from which we need to be saved.

But wait! There’s more! The whole world has things from which it needs to be saved from too. Two things that come immediately to mind are injustice and rampant violence, including war. So, it turns out that there are lots of things that we, and the whole world, need to be saved from.

What do all of these things have in common?

Could it be that all of these dilemmas that we face are all grounded in a perceived separation from God … or worse, alienation from God?

I had an experience growing up coming home from school. Mom was in the backyard hanging up laundry on the clothesline. I went back and she wasn’t there; I couldn’t find her anywhere. I thought the rapture had taken place and I was left behind! Oh, such fear that was instilled in me from the church, when it turned out she was just visiting the neighbors!

Sorenson says one of the reasons we sin and fear the consequences of sin is because we don’t live in an intimate relationship with God. (It’s all about relationship, isn’t it?) When we don’t have that relationship, we lose touch with God’s heart; we lose touch with the assurance of God’s love and forgiveness.

When we’re not in an authentic faith relationship, we lose touch with God, the source of all meaning. We lose the assurance that nothingness is not our final destiny, because we know that God’s love for us never ends.

Emmanuel, God with us, came to reconcile us with God. To overcome our sense of separation from God. To restore us to an intimate, authentic relationship with God, and to overcome our alienation from God.

I like the scripture that says there is nothing in all creation that will be able to “separate us from the love of God.”

Jesus shows us in his human nature what human life looks like … showing us love, non-judgment and God’s values of justice, compassion and non-violence. And he does it by demonstrating in his divine nature how God actually relates to us.

We see God relating to creation by being present with us. We see God entering into and experiencing all of life (with its joys and sorrows). I know some people who want God to break into our world in great power and grandeur and change things for the better. God is not a magic genie in a bottle, or Santa Claus at Christmas time. God does not go, “Poof! All is better now!”

God’s relationship to the world is one of presence and solidarity. Any separation we feel between us and God is entirely of our own making. As far as God is concerned, there simply is no separation – what can separate us from the love of God? Nothing!

As far as God is concerned, we are not separated or alienated from God and we can overcome all of those things from which we need to be saved. We find meaning in a life lived in an intimate relationship with God. We know God’s love, and we know that that love will not end when we die. Because Jesus was a human being, we learn how to live. And Jesus overcomes our alienation by showing us that as far as God is concerned; the alienation we feel just isn’t real.

My prayer for you this New Year is that you’ll live a spiritually abundant life, a life of service and be a person of peace and justice.

God is never distant from creation; but we are so good at creating our own distance from God. Nothing in all creation can separate us from the love of God. Nothing! Thank you, God. Amen.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

Bill’s Briefs

BY BILL HANSON

For seniors and those who will be

Why do responsible TV networks go against public sanity and schedule two momentous events at the same time? I mean, of course, the debacle last Sunday night: the British snobs opposite Honey Boo-Boo’s return.

Naturally, as a staunch supporter of good manners and gentility, I loathe Mama and Sugar Bear replacing Ozzie and Harriet (ask a senior) as models of American parenting, but my friends insisted I watch it.

Complications arose when my visiting Japanese partner pled for his choice. As we began to watch, I tried to explain the intricate family connections, but it was like untangling the convoluted relationships of Wuthering Heights of shuddering high school memory.

Sadly, the vast cultural differences combined with the silly clothes, weird speech patterns and crazy accents were all too foreign for him. He begged for release; so we switched over to Honey Boo Boo.

It was soon evident he couldn’t understand anything they said either, but it provided a laugh or two. Furthermore, he learned some quaint American customs. Particularly noteworthy concerned the gay uncle cramming his head into a giant pumpkin and being unable to pull it out. Then, midst great hilarity, he broke open the orange giant by bending over and smashing it (and his head) on the concrete floor to escape. I explained it was an old religious custom, the origin being lost in the mists of time.

My partner is looking forward to learning more about America next week. As for the Brits and their butlers, having yet to master the art of recording programs, I’m counting on the kindness of strangers to enlighten me.

Gambling for fun and failure

As the years and pounds pile on, the opportunities for fun and excitement diminish; the extent usually depending on one’s health, mobility and finances. For many of us in the San Diego area, a great temptation to get our fun juices flowing is offered by the several nearby casinos.

It is hard to resist the advertisements touting the chance to rake in huge wads of cash, surround oneself with chic and sophisticated fellow-players and, of course, partake of their sumptuous buffet. Many might quibble over the preciseness of those adjectives, but they are good enough to lure hoards of seniors who gladly offer up their pension checks.

I, like you, have won a time or three; and I, like you, can’t seem to recall the number of times or amounts I lost. Not to be a kill-joy, but this is my point; too often too many ignore the possibility of gambling’s unpleasant consequences. For some they are merely inconveniences; for others they are serious problems.

I spent my college summers working at a race track and I have never forgotten seeing people at closing time selling their sport coats, watches and rings or thumbing a ride home, not having even the $2 bus fare.

I am not saying don’t go; casinos are fun. I am just advising you to have a definite, written-in-stone amount you plan to spend, that means lose. When you realize the price of the afternoon’s entertainment is too high, stay home. Otherwise, go and enjoy. If you win or break-even, that’s a bonus with no regrets.

Snow Valley

When it comes to most things in life you never really know what you’re going to get. This is very much the case with the snowboard resorts in Southern California. With the commute ranging from 2-3 hours, it’s hard to be certain of the weather ahead. We eagerly drove to the slopes and joined the crowd of snow-thirsty shredders to experience the fresh powder. The gnarly, yet epic weather brought in sketchy driving conditions. We weren’t allowed to pass the checkpoint without tire chains. We turned back to buy them at a store in Highland for 65 percent less than they were offering near the resort.

Once we arrived at Snow Valley, we decided to try the “next level” trail. We’ve been hitting the bunny slope for several years but after nearly colliding with a group of adult snowboarder learners, it’s time to move on.

Young learners adapt quickly but adults tend to be too afraid to fall. So instead of falling on their bottoms when they feel out of control they’re more likely to expect the other riders to get out of the way which results in a “wipe-out” or worse a “yard sale”.

At Lift 13 we met Ed. He looks a little bit like Santa Claus and has a friendly personality to match. He told us that not only should we move on from Lift 6 but we’re going to wish we had sooner. And boy was he right! The powder was softer and less crowded since the run is wider. We feel that this resort has the most helpful operators. They pay attention to riders that are nervous, slow down the lift when necessary and give instructions to get off when needed.

Snow Valley is located in Running Springs, only 2.5 hours away from San Diego. It is one of the oldest and largest ski resorts in the San Bernardino National Forest. It has 12 lifts, 29 runs and terrain parks including The Edge, Park Avenue Progression Park and Hideout Jib Park. It’s a fantastic resort with trails for all levels of skiers and snowboarders.

Rockin’ with the girls

We attended the Girls Gone Band holiday dance Dec. 16 at Club 1202. The event was held to benefit Being Alive San Diego. Lead singer Melanie Peters rocked the house and brought the ladies (and several men) to their feet.

Unfortunately, our invisible cloaks activated when we went to the bar. We were standing next to the one woman that was ordering drinks and somehow when she left we became invisible. The bartender proceeded to have a conversation with a colleague (even pointing to someone directly behind us), counted the register and served customers that came way after us. We decided to spend our hard-earned money somewhere else and left.

We look forward to seeing Girls Gone Band’s next performance, hopefully at venues that treat all their customers well.

Flight school

Ana gave me (Kim) a flight lesson as a birthday present. I took the ground lesson on the use of the flight controls during the weekend. My instructor went into great detail about the Basic Six set, also known as a “six pack”. It was a great learning experience. I cannot wait to fly the plane next week! Make sure to read our column for details.

Peace out!

We hope 2013 brings happiness and peace to everyone. Stay positive! And treat others the way you’d like to be treated. We ran into our fair share of rude people last year. No one goes out to have a bad time so don’t be that person that ruins their night. Keep smiling; you make a difference in someone’s life whether you know it or not.

A quick hello or a door held can ignite someone’s faith in humanity. To our faithful readers, we hope you’ve been inspired to try something new with us. We hope you come along with us as we bring you more adventures in 2013.

Michelangelo’s Madonna and Child

During the first two Sundays of Advent, I have been preaching on Mary of Nazareth. I’ve suggested ways to see Mary, the mother of Jesus, that are quite different from the traditional Christian view of her – as meek, mild, obedient, and even submissive. I’ve suggested that we see her as possessing those traits – but also as the model of liberated womanhood and as a prophet.

There are additional ways in which tradition has seen her. One of the traditional images of Mary is the woman of sorrows. In Latin, she’s called the Mater Dolorosa, the Sorrowing Mother.

While living in Europe, I had the privilege of seeing Michelangelo’s Madonna and Child in Bruges, Belgium – so lifelike, the cloth and skin seem to have texture and appear soft. You’d never know its marble! (This was the only Michelangelo to leave Italy during his lifetime!)

Another great treasure of western art is Michelangelo’s Pieta, an emotionally wrenching sculpture of Mary cradling the lifeless body of her crucified son Jesus in her arms.

Mary is, in many ways, a model of female humanity. Female humanity is full humanity, and full humanity means all the experiences of life, including pain, loss, grief and death. The Biblical image of Mary includes this aspect of Mary’s humanity in all its fullness and all its pain.

Immediately following Jesus’ birth, Luke’s account tells us that God has greatly blessed Mary and has lifted her up from her lowliness. However, he goes on to tell us that this doesn’t mean she will be spared the human experience of grief and loss. Luke makes this point by introducing into his story of the beginning of Jesus’ life, a man named Simeon. Simeon first recognizes the infant Jesus as the Messiah. Then he addresses Mary with these haunting words, “And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”

The reference is clear. A sword will pierce the body of Jesus. He will die a violent and unjust death upon a cross. But, says Simeon, his death will be a sword through Mary’s heart too.

We can hardly imagine the anguish, anger and despair which she felt as a mother. On the cross, Jesus endured the worst that human sin can inflict on another human being, and I think we can be sure that if she could have, Mary would gladly have traded places with him. Most mothers would, such is the depth of true motherly love for a child.

But Mary had to stand helplessly by, and suffer her own unspeakable pain. Not physical pain but emotional and spiritual pain. Those of us who have experienced real grief know that such emotional pain is every bit as painful as physical pain – or worse.

Mary, so joyous at the Annunciation, is at the crucifixion – a woman of sorrows. In her, we see the profound truth that God’s blessing in this life doesn’t mean freedom from suffering. We are blessed in many ways, and, yet, we suffer too. So maybe you’re tempted to ask: If God’s blessing doesn’t mean that we don’t suffer, what good is it to us? Is it really a blessing at all? It’s a good question, a serious question, and a question that deserves a serious answer.

For the Christian, that answer is found in the person of the child whom Mary bore, and in that horrible event which ended his earthly life. And that event was a sword which pierced Mary’s heart too, the crucifixion of Jesus.

Going back to Matthew’s story of the Annunciation, the angel says to Joseph that the child Mary is carrying will fulfill an ancient prophecy from Isaiah. The prophecy says that a child shall be born to be called Emmanuel. More importantly, we see him as Emmanuel, for the name Emmanuel in Hebrew means “God is with us.” To the Christian, the child Mary bore is God with us.

As Rev. T. Sorenson puts it, in Jesus Christ we see God with us in his life and in his teachings, but perhaps, even more importantly, we see God with us in Jesus on the cross. There, we see God in the person of Jesus, whom we confess to be the Son of God Incarnate, entering into the worst that human life can offer. We see God entering into physical suffering. We see God entering into the human experience of betrayal and abandonment, the human experience of injustice, and even the human experience of the absence of God.

In Jesus, we see God entering into all of those profoundly human experiences and sharing them with us. In Jesus, we see in the most real way possible, God’s promise that none of these things, that nothing in all creation, can separate us from the love of God. In Jesus on the cross, we see God standing in unshakable solidarity with all of humanity – in everything that happens to us.

We also see God standing in unshakable solidarity with Jesus as he cries out in despair at the human experience of God-forsakenness when he cries, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And we see God standing in unshakable solidarity with Mary as that sword pierces her heart, as she feels her own unfathomable despair, her own inconsolable anguish.

This, after all, is why we remember Mary at all. In the Christian tradition, she is remembered as the mother of Emmanuel, of God with us. She’s remembered because through her, God came into our world. Through her, God came to us as one of us, to demonstrate the nature and will of God to us in the fullest measure that we humans are capable of receiving.

In early Christian centuries there was a great argument about whether it was appropriate to call Mary “Theotokos,” which means the God Bearer or, more commonly known as, the Mother of God.

Maybe, like many of the ancient Christians, you wonder how can anyone be the mother of God? And yet the Christian tradition declares that is exactly who Mary is. She is the Mother of God. More importantly, and beautifully, the Mother of God With Us. Through the son whom she brought into the world, we see and know that God is with us always, in everything, especially in our most profoundly human times, our times of pain, sorrow and grief. Mary felt all of those things.

We will never know if she understood her son the way we understand him. What we do know, however, is that in her experience of grief and pain and loss, she is a model of humanity. Mary was indeed, the woman of sorrow. And we too, are often people of sorrow. But through the child whom she brought into the world, we know that we are not alone in our sorrow and that Mary was not alone in hers. God was with her. God is with us. God is with you. For that we give thanks to God. And we give thanks to Mary, through whom the Good News of Jesus, the Good News of God’s unshakable solidarity with all of humanity, in everything that happens, came into the world.

When we look at the Biblical accounts of her, we see a remarkable woman. We see a strong, liberated, free woman who reaches for the stars and says yes to God. We see a prophet proclaiming God’s word of justice just as other prophets did before her and just as her son would do in his short life.

So with the angel we say, Ave Maria, Hail Mary … full of grace. As we repeat those words, let us remember that God is with us. God is with you, wherever you are in your life. Whether it be in your pain and suffering and grief … or joy, triumph and victory.

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.