Herndon Graddick

NEW YORK – GLAAD, the nation’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) media advocacy organization, today announced the resignation of President Herndon Graddick.

Under Graddick’s tenure, GLAAD began campaigns including a national call for the Boy Scouts of America to end their ban on gay scouts and scout leaders. The organization also announced a continuation of its commitment to incorporate bisexual and transgender people as well as allies from diverse backgrounds in GLAAD’s work to shape the media narrative and build public support for LGBT people.

“GLAAD is very grateful for Herndon’s work championing LGBT rights, especially his work on behalf of the trans community,” said GLAAD Board of Directors Chair Thom Reilly. “On behalf of the entire organization, I want to wish him the best.”

“I’m proud to leave GLAAD with a stronger, more efficient organization and an incredibly talented and experienced board and staff. I’m happy the role I was able to play in advancing the need for our community to fully support the rights of our transgender brothers and sisters. Our movement is benefited by the leadership not only of heroes like Evan Wolfson, Chad Griffin, Mara Keisling, and Kate Kendell, but of the necessary and vital blogger and grassroots communities. I look forward to returning to a private life and supporting the fight from behind the scenes,” said Graddick.

GLAAD’s Chief of Staff Dave Montez is serving as acting president. In addition to continuing to lead GLAAD’s development team, he will oversee GLAAD’s staff on the ground in Dallas next week throughout the Boy Scouts of America’s vote on whether to end their ban on gay scouts and leaders as part of GLAAD’s Boy Scouts campaign. GLAAD staff members are continuing work to share stories in the media of marriage equality in advance of next month’s Supreme Court decision as well as pushing for comprehensive immigration reform, increased trans visibility in the media, LGBT acceptance in professional sports, and building acceptance of LGBT people.

“GLAAD makes a great impact and the board has complete confidence that Dave’s proven leadership in building coalitions across diverse communities, advocating for lasting change, as well as fundraising for social justice causes will continue to forward the work of GLAAD in his role as acting president,” said Reilly.

The GLAAD board of directors is scheduled to meet later this month in New York City to determine next steps.

Pat Robertson Photo: CNN

(CNN Belief Blog) — The Christian Broadcasting Network regrets the misunderstanding. Again.

Pat Robertson, the network’s 83-year-old founder, was not condoning adultery when he answered a viewer’s question on “The 700 Club” this week, the network said.

The viewer said she was having difficulty forgiving her husband for cheating. Robertson said the “secret” was to “stop talking about the cheating. He cheated on you. Well, he’s a man. OK.”

Robertson went on to suggest the woman focus on why she had married her husband and whether he provided for her needs and those of their children, adding, “Is he handsome? Start focusing on these things and essentially fall in love all over again.”

“Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. And what you want to do is make a home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.”

CBN spokesman Chris Roslan wrote in a statement that Robertson’s “intent was not to condone infidelity or to cast blame. We regret any misunderstanding.”

Robertson’s off-the-cuff comments through the years have perplexed and angered other Christian leaders. One Christian pastor said his New Year’s resolution was to not comment on Robertson’s gaffes for an entire year.

Here are some of Robertson’s most memorable statements:

1. The U.S. should kill Chavez

In 2005 Robertson suggested the United States should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

“We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with,” he said in a segment about the now-deceased head of state.

After considerable outcry, the minister backtracked and released a statement saying, “Is it right to call for assassination? No, and I apologize for that statement. I spoke in frustration that we should accommodate the man who thinks the U.S. is out to kill him.”

A U.S. State Department official called the remarks “inappropriate.”

2. How bad is weed, really?

Robertson, who once ran for president as a Republican, broke ranks with religious conservatives by endorsing the legalization of marijuana. “I believe in working with the hearts of people, and not locking them up,” he said in a 2010 broadcast of “The 700 Club.”

Cue spokesman Chris Roslan, who wrote, “Pat has never condoned the use of, nor does he use, marijuana.”

3. You know who’s to blame for that earthquake in Haiti? Haitians.

Shortly after a 2010 earthquake in Haiti left more than 220,000 people dead and Port-au-Prince decimated, Robertson referenced a slave revolt in 1804, where, legend has it, the Haitian slaves made a deal with the devil to shake off French colonialism.

“And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, ‘We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.’ True story. And so the devil said, ‘OK, it’s a deal,’” Robertson said one day after the quake.

“You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since, they have been cursed by one thing after the other.”

That day CBN quickly clarified: “Dr. Robertson never stated that the earthquake was God’s wrath. If you watch the entire video segment, Dr. Robertson’s compassion for the people of Haiti is clear.” In fact, while Robertson was talking about Haiti on TV, his charitable arm Operation Blessing was already on the ground providing medical treatment, food, and supplies to victims.

4. Gay days = hurricanes and possibly meteors

In June 1998, after Walt Disney World announced it would have special days for gay and lesbian families in Orlando, and city officials announced they would fly rainbow flags in support of the event, Robertson warned the city, “You’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you.”

Robertson told the Orlando Sentinel at the time that his comments were taken out of context and released a full transcript of what he said on the show:

“So if the United States wants to embrace ‘degrading passions’ – according to the Bible, something that the Bible says is an abomination against God – we’re not in any way, shape or form hating anybody. This is not a message of hate; this is a message of redemption. But if a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation; if it will bring about terrorist bombs; if it’ll bring about earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor, it isn’t necessarily something we ought to open our arms to. And I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you.”

David Beckham

(CNN) — Father, son, husband of a Spice Girl, fashion icon, role model, sporting ambassador. It is sometimes easy to forget that David Beckham was ever a midfielder of the highest caliber with more than 100 appearances for England.

He wore a sarong, a headscarf, nail varnish, adorned his body with tattoos and changed his expertly coiffured hair-do practically every week. He spoke sparingly and, when he did, it was with a high-pitched, slightly effeminate whine. And, as far as anyone could tell, his female partner seemed to make all the important decisions. And yet his masculinity was never in doubt.

In the 1990s, we called Beckham a New Man, or a metrosexual. He was evidently straight, but never aggressive or even assertive in a traditional masculine way. In fact, he seemed mild-mannered. He dressed stylishly — if a little too flamboyantly for many tastes — groomed himself painstakingly and appeared unembarrassed when asked about his formidable following of gay fans.

There was a shimmering complexity, a quiet elegance, and perhaps even a sly wit about Beckham. Footballers, as the world knew them, were hard-boiled characters, who liked a drink and a good play up, especially after a game. Their reputation was hewn from the granite of working class tradition — men were tough and affectless. We can barely imagine the reaction in the locker room when Beckham unpacked moisturizer, bronzer, and assorted hair products from his kit bag.

In the late 1990s, when he first surfaced, only Beckham could get away with it. After all, he enjoyed the adoration of women all over the world, had a pop star girlfriend and soon-to-be wife, and had to fend off advertisers who clamored for his endorsement services. He was a man with the world at his feet. He still is.

Today, cultural history is unimaginable without Beckham — because he helped change that history. He slew the image of the unrelentingly macho sport hero and emerged heroically as the world’s first all-purpose celebrity athlete. A symbol of a new masculinity.

And still we have to remind ourselves: Beckham was never rated as the best footballer in the world. And, far from being a hellraiser or a serial womanizer like many a notorious sports figure, he was squeaky clean.

Well, at least until 2004 when the News of the World tabloid alleged that he had an affair with his assistant — something he denied. Paradoxically, the alleged affair added rather than subtracted from his already iconic status, introducing a dash of devilry and rescuing Beckham from a kind of borderline piousness, and perhaps issuing a reminder that, despite all the affectations, his manhood was beyond doubt.

So why is Beckham the game-changing celebrity athlete?

There were two David Beckhams: one the flesh-and-blood mortal who kicked a ball around for a living, the other a character that existed independently of time and space — a product of our imaginations.

Everyone thought they knew Beckham and enjoyed a secret relationship with him. He was like a blank canvas. Had he espoused his own views, or aligned himself with great causes he would have spoiled it. But he was silent, giving interviews rarely — and, I suspect, at Victoria’s discretion. And while he stayed largely unknown, the Beckham mystique grew.

When Beckham first entered the popular consciousness it was amid feelings of hate and revenge. Red-carded in a crucial England game against Argentina in the 1998 World Cup, Beckham was blamed for his team’s exit. Effigies of him were burnt and he was forced to retreat. It’s difficult to imagine the intensity of the loathing back then. Yet it was crucial in generating interest, even, passion.

The sight, even the name of Beckham stirred up powerful feelings. Football fans may have despised him, but others were just curious. And they became more curious as Beckham defiantly refused to give interviews or make public appearances, save for at the occasional fashion launch or a party hosted by a rock star or designer. All this was very un-footballer-like and faintly unmanly.

By the time Beckham and Victoria were married in 1999, interest in him had extended far beyond the football fraternity. His most devoted followers knew nothing of football. Unlike traditional sport fans, they were not interested in how he played: they were interested in him — just Beckham.

At the start of the 21st century, there was only an embryonic celebrity culture; the fascination we now have for people who make no material impact on our lives and, in many cases, had no accomplishments of note was a new and perplexing development. Fans knew famous sportsmen and women by their talents and achievements. Beckham was different, he was known for being Beckham and, in this sense, he was among the first generation of celebrities.

Beckham’s departure from football will not mean his disappearance. He will remain on our TV screens, in our magazines and on advertising hoardings the world over. But most significantly, he will remain in our imaginations.

David Beckham Photo: CNN

(CNN) — David Beckham was always adept at curling the ball around a wall — but when it came to the barrier of homosexuality in football, he broke straight through it.

Former England captain Beckham, who announced his retirement from football Thursday, was the first superstar footballer to embrace his “gay icon” status, freely giving interviews to gay magazines and openly talking about his gay fan base.

That attitude was the catalyst for a change, according to author and journalist, Chas Newkey-Burden.

“What David Beckham did was break the long silence about homosexuality in football,” Newkey-Burden told CNN.

“Before Beckham came along, it was basically a taboo but he changed all that.

“He openly courted his gay fan base, saying he loved being a gay icon and was happy for his wife to broadcast that around.

“He was the first to give interviews to gay magazines — before that, no footballer would have done that.

“He also changed the way footballers were looked at. He was inherently good looking, but it was that he paid so much attention to his appearance that was unprecedented.”

In an interview with the BBC given in 2007, Beckham spoke of his pride at being tagged as a “gay icon”.

“Maybe it’s things like (the fact) I like to look after myself, I like to look smart and presentable most of the time,” he said at the time.

“I always liked to look good, even when I was a little kid. I was given the option when I was a page boy once of either wearing a suit or wearing knickerbockers and long socks and ballet shoes — and I chose the ballet shoes and knickerbockers.”

Once Newkey-Burden spent five months trying to organize an interview with the midfielder, only for the player himself to sanction the piece after reading one of the journalist’s articles on football and homosexuality in Four Four Two magazine.

“David read the piece I did about how far football had come in dealing with homophobia,” Newkey-Burden recalled.

“I know he was very moved by the fact I wrote how he had opened the door to change and that is what swung getting me the interview with him.

“Look, there are 92 league clubs in England with each squad having around 20 players, so statistically, there must be some gay players, ” added the journalist.

“One day it will be common place for footballers to come out and David Beckham will have played a part in that.

“He opened the door and it is the person who opens the door who makes the difference.

“Beckham said to the world: ‘I’m straight, I’m the England captain and I think it’s cool people are gay.’”

Despite Beckham embracing his “gay icon” status, football continues to struggle with homophobia.

Last February, U.S. football star Robbie Rogers announced he was retiring from football after “coming out” — leaving Swedish player Anton Hysen as the only openly gay player in Europe.

Rogers might yet make a return given he has been training with Los Angeles Galaxy.

Beckham was also key in footballers becoming fashionistas and attracting interest from the mainstream media, according to Newkey Burden.

“Gay football fans don’t want 11 neatly coiffured and manicured players to admire,” said the journalist and celebrity biographer who has written books about Adele, Brangelina, Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton.

“They’re more attracted to the old-fashioned kind of player like Vinny Jones or Alan Shearer if I’m honest.

“But Beckham was someone who was proud to be a gay icon and made it cool too.

“Just look at the number of metrosexuals who have emerged since Beckham.

“It’s now OK for players to have silly, floppy hair and dress in the way they do. He did that.”

Players now try to trend it like Beckham more often than they try to bend it like Beckham.

From wearing his wife’s underwear to parading around in a sarong, the former Manchester United, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy, AC Milan and Paris Saint-Germain man has never been one to shy away from experimentation.

While former Spice Girl Victoria has gone on to establish herself as a leading fashion designer, it is Beckham who brought men into the 21st century with his eye for the latest trends.

From his outrageous hair styles to his love of grooming and moisturizing, Beckham relaunched the notion of the metroxsexual along with his very own brand of cologne.

Whether it was by provocatively modelng in his Armani underwear or being paraded in front of the press in another exquisitely tailored suit, Beckham set the bar high when it came to looking sharp.

“Beckham was the antithesis to the godawful lad culture of the late Nineties,” GQ.co.uk fashion editor Nick Carvell told CNN.

“Being a footballer who was clearly motivated by fashion trends and absolutely loved clothes, he turned the idea of what it meant to be a stylish sportsman at the time on its head.

“Sure he made some mistakes along the way (cornrows), but that’s what made him a trendsetter — he always led and never followed.

“He was certainly one of the first celebrities to de-stigmatize grooming pursuits that were previously seen as girls-only (his early penchant for highlights comes to mind).

“Lots of people would say that it helps he has an athlete’s body, but there are plenty of sportsman who dress appallingly.

“I think it’s his willingness to try new things combined with a clear appreciation for a good tailor.

“He might have worn the occasional eye-raising get-up when he was younger, but it always fitted perfectly.”

That infamous sarong, which he was pictured wearing in 1998, was certainly one “eye-raising item” but as Newkey-Burden explains, Beckham had no regrets.

“When I interviewed him in 2006, I asked Beckham if he regretted wearing that ‘dress’. He said: ‘No, that’s one of the things I’d do again!’”

(CNN) — France’s top court ruled Friday that a bill permitting same-sex marriage and allowing gay couples to adopt children adheres to the constitution.

President Francois Hollande is expected to sign the bill into law on Saturday.

After the lower house of Parliament, dominated by Hollande’s governing Socialist Party, passed the bill last month, conservative and centrist senators filed a legal challenge with the court, the Constitutional Council.

The legislation admits France to a small but growing club.

Lawmakers in New Zealand this year made it the first country in the Asia-Pacific region to legalize same-sex marriage. The law is set to be enacted later this year.

Its move came a week after Uruguayan lawmakers approved a measure allowing same-sex marriage. The measure awaits the signature of Uruguay’s president, who has indicated he supports it.

If and when the laws in New Zealand, Uruguay and France are enacted as expected, the count of nations allowing same-sex marriage will rise to 14.

France would be the ninth country in Europe to allow same sex marriage.

The first same-sex couples walked down the aisle in the Netherlands in 2001, with others following suit in Canada, South Africa, Belgium and Spain. Argentina was the first Latin American nation to legalize such marriages, in 2010. Other countries on the list are Denmark, Iceland, Norway, Portugal and Sweden.

Many countries remain split over the issue. A Brazilian court this week issued a directive removing a barrier that had limited same-sex marriage, but no bill has made it through Congress.

Legislators in the United Kingdom are also weighing proposals to legalize same-sex marriage. Lawmakers in Australia voted against a bill to legalize same-sex marriage last September. A poll for the advocacy group Australian Marriage Equality indicated that 64% of those surveyed “support marriage equality.”

In the United States, the question went before the Supreme Court and justices are now deliberating over the matter.

Twelve U.S. states and the District of Columbia have legalized same-sex marriages. On the other side, many states have specific laws blocking same-sex couples from legally marrying.

In a sign of just how difficult the nascent gay rights movement is in the relatively new, relatively democratic country of Georgia, protesters, led by leaders of the Orthodox Christian Church derailed a gay pride parade shortly after it was scheduled to get under way. Thousands of anti-gay protestors, some with signs reading “We don’t need Sodom and Gomorrah!” threatened to lash the participants with stinging nettles.

A similar rally in the capital of Tbilisi was also cut short last year when police, clearly outnumbered and overwhelmed, were forced to escort members of the LGBT community out of the square where they were set to march.

The reaction from the church was unsurprisingly pointed. Father David, a priest who was one of the organizers of Friday’s anti-gay rally, said the parade “insults people’s traditions and national sentiments.” His views, however, continue to represent the majority in a part of the world that has not nurtured democratic principles for long. President Vladimir Putin of Russia recently stated that he would review his relationship with France regarding adoptions after the nation recently legalized same-sex marriage. He argued that France must respect the “cultural norms” of his country.

These views are not just limited to the country’s elders whom one might expect to hold more traditional, more conservative views. Young people are equally aghast at homosexuality. According to a report on Ames, Iowa’s Channel 5, 21-year-old student Nikolai Kiladze said, “We are against the propaganda of homosexuality. If we need to allow parades like this in order to become a member of the European Union or other Western organizations and blocs, then I’m against joining these organizations.”

Georgia’s authorities had given the green light for the gay parade to take place, saying that all Georgian citizens, irrespective of their sexuality, are entitled to voice their views in public.

Video message by Ambassador Susan E. Rice, U.S. permanent representative to the United Nations, on International Day Against Homophobia, May 17, 2013

“Today, as we commemorate International Day Against Homophobia, we rededicate ourselves to a basic but essential truth – that human rights are universal and must be protected for all.  Homophobia, sadly, is present in every corner of our world.  And, it is a problem we continue to face here in the United States.

“At the United Nations, the United States is standing up for the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals and fighting to ensure that their voices are heard and protected.  The United States was proud to co-sponsor and adopt an historic resolution at the UN Human Rights Council condemning human rights abuses and violations based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

“We will continue to work in every possible arena to protect communities and promote societies in which everyone – especially LGBT youth – can live safely and without fear regardless of who they are or whom they love.  We call on all nations and all peoples to join us in ensuring that human rights are universally protected everywhere every day.”

 

Carey Mulligan and Leonardo DiCaprio in The Great Gatsby

Even though The Great Gatsby is my favorite novel (and I’ve read it three times) I have always been left a little cold by Gatsby himself. I didn’t fall in love with him like his obsession Daisy did, and I didn’t become utterly enamored with him like the book’s narrator Nick Carraway did. This was the case for me with F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1925 book, arguably the greatest written in English in the 20th century, in Jack Clayton and Francis Ford Coppola’s failed 1974 film with Robert Redford in the title role, and again in Baz Luhrmann’s ecstatic new adaptation starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

Gatsby is cipher; not only is everything about him concealed until the end of the book (or two-thirds of the film) but everything about his character – his affect, his accent, his trappings – are an elaborate and astonishing act. He has created a palace of wealth and excitement on Long Island across the bay from his lost love, Daisy (a luminous Carey Mulligan), all to draw her to him; he charms his much poorer next door neighbor, our narrator Nick (a most excellent Tobey Maguire), because he is Daisy’s cousin; he has constructed a false life story of well-born privilege and war heroism to give him the respectability a woman like Daisy needs. And all of it is a lie except for his desperate love for Daisy, who is married to a brute of an American aristocrat, Tom Buchanan, who Joel Edgerton amazingly makes more fully realized than even Fitzgerald did. Tom, after all, is the only one who sees through Gatsby’s veneer, though he of course hates what is actually underneath.

Better than anyone else has in the myriad adaptations, DiCaprio manages to play Gatsby’s complexity, by acting fake and acting real in strategic succession. His charisma, both Gatsby’s and DiCaprio’s, is admittedly powerful, but perhaps because I knew how it all would end, I couldn’t quite succumb. Perhaps it’s because Gatsby encapsulates the American Dream: the capacity for reinvention, for hope, to offer the shimmering promise of wealth, and to send us on a pursuit for happiness. And for many of us, that American Dream is bunk. Gatsby, however, never gives up hope. That’s what makes him so tragic. Fitzgerald, a heartbroken drunk, wasn’t a cheerful man.

Baz Luhrmann, however, has no such affliction. His films, the best of which are Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge, are, like Gatsby, tragedies. But they are ebullient, gorgeous, lush, and enrapt tragedies, full of fauvist color, baroque styling and anachronistic music that is less an attempt at post-modern disjuncture than a manipulation of the audience’s capacity to recall the emotional resonance they feel for some songs. In this case, it’s Beyoncé and Andre 3000 covering Amy Winehouse’s “Back to Black,” Jack White doing U2’s “Love is Blindness,” and Jay-Z, the film’s music supervisor and executive producer, throwing in such iconic songs as his “Izzo (H.O.V.A.)” and his, Frank Ocean’s and Kanye West’s “No Church in the Wild,” as well as a new, but probably soon to be iconic, “100$ Bill.”

The music is combined with Luhrmann’s sets, costumes, 3-D cinematography and CGI, and the results are simply outrageous. To me, this works so well because unlike Clayton and Coppola’s dully naturalistic version, Luhrmann treats Fitzgerald’s lyrical, astonishingly beautiful language with the reverence it deserves. When Nick isn’t narrating in voiceover, Luhrmann transforms Fitzgerald’s words into indelible images bursting with almost garish color and ostentatious detail.

This is the first adaptation of a Fitzgerald work that seems to be as in love with Fitzgerald’s writing as Gatsby is with Daisy. Unlike Fitzgerald, whose novel is perfectly tempered and constructed, Luhrmann makes errors of both under-emphasis and exaggeration, but the end result is still a wondrous experience, unlike anything you will see on screen this year.

MOVIE REVIEW

The Great Gatsby

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Written by Baz Luhrmann and Craig Pearce

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire and Carey Mulligan

Rated PG-13

In 3-D

At your local multiplex

Work stinks.

Home isn’t much better. Deadlines, dirty dishes, screaming boss, loud neighbors, nasty clients, empty bank account; any wonder why you’re so crabby?

No help, no raise, no sympathy; what you really need is to get away. And so did author Mikey Walsh but, as you’ll see in his new memoir Gypsy Boy on the Run, he escaped certain death.

Growing up in Europe’s Romany culture in the 1980s was wonderfully idyllic for Mikey Walsh – for awhile.

As a young boy, Walsh played with his sister, danced to his mother’s favorite music, made mischief with cousins and loved to dress up. But since Walsh was the youngest in a line of Gypsy fighters, his father started “training” him early to use his fists. That meant daily beatings, sometimes more, until Walsh was a teen.

By then, he realized he was gay and he knew his father would kill him if he found out. So, with the help of Caleb, a man he’d fallen in love with, 15-year-old Walsh escaped in the middle of the night.

But his father wasn’t going to let him go easily.

Within days, a “five grand” bounty had been put on Walsh’s head, and Caleb was being stalked. Terrified, they moved Walsh from place to place until he finally found safety in a town where he hoped his father wouldn’t look. Walsh found a job, but he lost Caleb to the pressure of constant threats.

With the familial situation eased a bit, Walsh seized the opportunity to change things he didn’t like about himself. Though proud of his Gypsy heritage, his way of speaking became more “Gorgia.” He made friends and learned to embrace his sexuality. He was confident enough to move even farther away from his family’s influence, to find a good job and a safe apartment. He’d stopped living with paralyzing fear, he learned to read, and he enrolled in acting classes.

He cautiously began to forgive his father.

At the end of last years’ Gypsy Boy – which I absolutely loved – author Mikey Walsh teased his readers by letting it slip that there was much more to his story. He didn’t elaborate, and I wondered if he could deliver on that delicious tantalization.

I shouldn’t have doubted.

Beginning with a brief recap that also serves as a summary for those who missed the first book, Walsh wastes little time before pulling readers into a terror-filled account of the months in which he was always just a half-step ahead of his father’s fists – and yet (this amazed me), he manages to keep a sense of humor about what happened. He presents his story with no poor-me, no sympathy-begging, and a voice that’s calm and matter-of-fact. The lack of whining is oh-so-refreshing in a book like this.

Yes, this memoir contains some repetition, but that minor annoyance is overpowered by a Part Two tale that’s every bit as stellar as its predecessor. If, therefore, you’re searching for something for vacation, weekending, or just because, Gypsy Boy on the Run is the best escape.

BOOK REVIEW

Gypsy Boy on the Run by Mikey Walsh

© 2013, Thomas Dunne

$24.99 U.S. / $16.99 Canada

306 pages

Dustin Lance Black as featured on the cover of May 8 Echo magazine

Yes, the annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast set for next Friday, May 24 is sold out! More than 1,200 tickets have been sold, which will make this the biggest breakfast/lunch/dinner event in the history of our GLBT community in San Diego.

Gov. Barbara Roberts and Academy award winner, the handsome Dustin Lance Black (author of the play 8) will be the major keynote speakers and 2013 honorees.

As the founder and co-chair of this civil rights event (along with my co-chairs, City Commissioner Robert Gleason and Dr. Delores Jacobs) I wish to thank everyone for their continuing support, especially the staff and volunteers of The LGBT Center. See you at the Breakfast.

Private reception set for Thursday night

With more than 1,200 people in one room it will be pretty hard to meet and talk to the Harvey Milk Breakfast 2013 honorees, Gov. Barbara Roberts, Dustin Lance Black and Stuart Milk. So, on the evening before, Thursday, May 23 there will be a private invitation-only reception at the Weiss family estate sponsored by the Harvey Milk Foundation and the GLBT Historic Task Force and hosted by Mayor Bob Filner and his first lady, Bronwyn Ingram. A donation for the Milk Foundation is being requested. For further information: 619-692-1967.

Why is the Tea Party nonprofit?

Let’s see now, the Red Cross, United Way, community centers, etc., etc. are all nonprofits and to me the real “IRS scandal” is that Tea Party organizations get to have nonprofit status. Bullcrap, everyone knows that the Tea Party organizations are political and right wing groups. They should never receive any nonprofit status.

About Jose Julio Sarria

Many of you have been asking me about the ongoing health problems of 91-year-old World War II veteran and gay icon Jose Julio Sarria, who in 1961 became the first openly gay candidate to run for public office in North America.

Jose, in 1965, also founded the International Court System which has chapters in more than 68 cities in the U.S.A., Canada and Mexico. The Imperial Courts are like the gay Shriners or Elks, and in 2007 Jose stepped down and I became this international organization’s chairman and executive director.

Well, Jose is not doing well so I ask you to keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Going to L.A.

The Great Gatsby

Well, this weekend I’m off to Los Angeles for Harvey Milk Day events with the mayors of L.A., Long Beach and West Hollywood.

It’s great that Harvey’s birthday is now an officially recognized day in California (signed into law by then Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger) and that so many cities celebrate it with numerous events.

And in the future, I see a postage stamp and naval vessel in honor of Harvey Milk as I read my tea leaves!

Nicky Awards: Aug. 25

The Nicky Awards have been called the gay Academy awards of San Diego by the mainstream media and hailed by the governor of California as one of the oldest GLBT awards ceremonies on the West Coast.

Now, with more than three decades of honoring outstanding achievement in the GLBT community, the 2013 Nicky Awards will be presented Sunday, Aug. 25 and, once again, Allan Sphere is the producer and president of the board of governors. Part of this year’s proceeds will benefit The LGBT Community Center. For information: 619-300-1232 or nickyawards.com

The Great Gatsby is fabulous

As someone who has read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s classic novel and seen the Robert Redford and Mia Farrow version of The Great Gatsby this 2013 movie gets five stars and a big fabulous. I love this movie!

Leonardo DiCaprio deserves at least an Academy award nomination.

According to recent surveys, this film is a big hit with older movie patrons (older than 25); and let me tell you it’s one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen.

These people are not just rich but super billionaires and live like ones.

Go see it and tell me what you think, my darlings.

Murder by Death

dvd of the week

Steven Soderbergh’s last studio film is basically a long, relatively well-acted Law & Order episode, complete with discussions of double jeopardy and a “shocking” but offensively retrograde ending.

Emily (Rooney Mara) is married to Martin (Channing Tatum), who is being released from prison after serving five years for insider trading. As they try to get their life in New York back to normal, which for them means black tie parties and lots of money, Emily cannot shake her depression. After driving her car into a wall, she starts treatment with the psychiatrist (Jude Law) who evaluated her in the ER. He prescribes several anti-depressants before settling on a new one called Ablixa, which Emily’s former psychiatrist (Catherine Zeta-Jones) recommends. Unfortunately, while Ablixa helps Emily love life again, it has a rather annoying side effect: sleepwalking. Oh, and murder.

If Side Effects had been an actual Law & Order episode, it would have been the best one ever. But as a Steven Soderbergh movie, especially for his last feature, it’s a bit lazy.

dvr this

Turner Classic Movies, 8:15 p.m., May 18

I don’t think Murder by Death is as good as the similarly themed Clue – both of them are parodies of the 1970s Agatha Christie murder mysteries – but it is still great fun.

Written by Neil Simon, the film’s conceit is that a rich madman (the ur-queen Truman Capote) invites the world’s greatest detectives for dinner and a murder mystery. The detectives are all versions of Miss Marple (Jessica Marbles, played by Elsa Lanchester), Charlie Chan (Lionel Wang, played with racist absurdity by Peter Sellers), Sam Spade (Sam Diamond, played by Columbo’s Peter Falk), and others, and the humor is certainly helped along if you know the quirks these great actors are mocking.

The movie is a romp of slapstick and hamming, and it’s great fun.

Bob Filner

I have three words for Republicans regarding the 2012 mayoral election, “Sorry ‘bout it.”

For those not in the know, “Sorry ‘bout it” is the latest gay way of expressing faux sympathy. With the right intonation, it makes it clear that you’re not remotely sorry, they probably brought it on themselves, and you’re having at least a bit of Schadenfreude. It perfectly sums up my feelings toward those who want to mount a recall of Mayor Bob Filner, for a number of reasons.

You picked the wrong candidate – sorry ‘bout it. District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis had executive experience and the support of Mayor Sanders. Assemblymember Nathan Fletcher had enthusiasm and a compelling personal story. Both could have appealed to moderates in the general election. Instead, you needlessly endorsed the furthest right candidate in the primary, sending moderates to the Filner camp or their couches, and eventually sending Fletcher to the Democratic Party. Sorry ‘bout that, too.

You don’t get to choose your electorate – Sorry ‘bout it. Councilmember Carl DeMaio was probably the right candidate for 2010. Unfortunately for you, San Diego picks its mayor in presidential election years, which likely did help Filner. But fair’s fair. There are seats held by Republicans at least in part because they come up in off year elections when progressive turn out falls off (County Supervisorial District 4 comes to mind).

Still, there are things you can do at the local level to combat the national trends, and on those measures you got outhustled. Whatever the Comprehensive Pension Reform initiative did to buff your voter lists was dwarfed by what progressive groups were able to do with the groundwork laid by Jess Durfee and the Democratic Party, as evidenced by across the board victories including Supervisor Dave Roberts and Congressman Scott Peters.

You’ve got no cause for a recall – sorry ‘bout it. Recalls were meant for people who committed a crime, or at least pulled a major bait and switch on the electorate, like the one Gov. Scott Walker pulled on the people of Wisconsin. Despite his sudden embrace of a far right agenda that he rarely discussed as a candidate, the recall effort against Walker failed. Polling suggested that moderates, and even some liberals, disliked his actions but did not feel they warranted a recall.

Yes, Gov. Gray Davis was successfully recalled, but more for positioning himself so firmly in the political center that both sides abandoned him. Four years removed, I don’t even hear many conservatives longing for the halcyon days of the gubernator.

In contrast to Walker and Davis, Filner is rewarding his voters by working to implement the agenda he campaigned on in the no-holds-barred style that has defined his political career.

The optics haven’t been pretty, particularly with a divided City Council, but Filner’s actions are more about integrity that iniquity. Barring a serious scandal, a recall attempt will be seen for exactly what it is: a sour-grapes endeavor to rectify bad decisions in 2012 by shopping for a more sympathetic electorate. Even if they somehow win, Republicans will look out of touch and desperate. Should they lose, they’ll look foolish, too. If they give it a try, I won’t even feign sympathy. I have three better words: “Make my day.”

PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair PHOTO: ANA PINES

The PTE-Hope, Inc. Multicultural Fair, held April 27, was sponsored by the City of San Diego and San Diego County Board of Supervisors Greg Cox and Ron Roberts. Ms. Philippines National 2013, founder and executive director of Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence and SDSU student Kristen Paruginog, was one of the emcees of the event.

We enjoyed watching several entertainers including Lei Oleander Dancers (Kayla Pimentel, Alex Honore and Jenna Narvoza), “Year of the Snake” Chinese dancers and 9-year-old Melanie Jimenez, a Hollywood Bowl finalist winner who mesmerized the audience with her rendition of Alicia Keys’ “Girl on Fire.” The Janeiro’s Models showed off Biblia Fashion’s evening wear and custom jewelry during the fashion show. The 3 Wise Men DJs provided music for the event.

National City Mayor Ron Morrison made an appearance and spoke about the diversity of the city and how it’s important to explore each other’s similarities. PTE-Hope, Inc. is a multi-cultural partnership of the federal government and the state of California to promote community awareness, cooperation, hope, unity, respect and goodwill among various cultural and ethnic groups.

Mariachi Festival

Mariachi Festival PHOTO: ANA PINES

A few minutes away from PTE’s event, at Pepper Park, was the 1st annual Mariachi Festival and Competition, sponsored by The National City Chamber of Commerce and HMC Advertising. We watched several groups from all over the country and Mexico as they competed for $4,000 in cash prizes. Jointly organized as the 11th annual Cinco de Mayo Festival, it provided entertainment for families to come together and celebrate San Diego’s heritage through mariachi music and traditional ballet folkloric dancing. There were also merchant booths, arts and crafts, food vendors, music displays and a children’s area.

Adams Avenue Unplugged

Robin Henkel PHOTO: ANA PINES

Previously known as the Adams Avenue Roots Festival, this free music festival, held the weekend of April 27-28, stretched along Adams Avenue, from University Heights on the west end, through Normal Heights, and into parts of Kensington on the east. The performances were staged in restaurants, bars, coffee houses and galleries, as well as four community stages along the avenue. Many of the Unplugged performers played multiple sets, which allowed attendees to catch their favorite artists while enjoying the neighborhoods’ many distinctive shops. We watched Robin Henkel’s performance at the Adams Avenue Park stage. We found a perfect spot in the shade to enjoy the sounds of jazz and blues. It reminded us of when we were back home in New York City and watched summer concerts in Central Park and Prospect Park.

Circo de Mayo

Circo De Mayo PHOTO: ANA PINES

Circo de Mayo, held May 4, was a full-length showcase performance from the DLP Aerial Fitness students at SD United Training Center. DLP Aerial Fitness students learn a variety of acrobatic and aerial disciplines from professional performers. The show featured aerial silks, aerial lyra, aerial hammock, static trapeze and contortion. It felt like we were watching the next generation of Cirque du Soleil performers. The training center offers gymnastics, cirque/acro, cheer/tumbling, parkour, tricking and break dancing classes.

Aladdin

thursday, may 16

Aladdin

Arms Wide Open presents the classic tale of Aladdin and the magic lamp. Featuring a cast made up entirely of performers with special needs. Arms Wide Open is a non-profit organization that gives children and adults with special needs opportunities to participate in the performing arts.

Lyceum Stage, Horton Plaza in San Diego, 7 p.m., tickets $15, 619-544-1000, sdrep.org

The Rookie

friday, may 17

Summer Movies in the Park: The Rookie

The 2013 Summer Movies in the Park season is kicking off this weekend with a bang!

Come to Balboa Park/ Morley Field for The Rookie starting at dusk!

Bring your blankets, picnics, and lawn chairs for a fun night for the whole family!

Summer Movies in the Park, 2221 Morley Field Drive in San Diego, free, 8 p.m., dusk -approx. 15 minutes after sunset, summermoviesinthepark.com

saturday, may 18

Marcia Ball

Marcia Ball: Toast of the Coast

This all-star group promises a lively and soulful evening of music from the American South and Gulf Coast. Marcia Ball is a five-time Grammy nominee (including 2012 for Best Blues Album), and an eight-time Blues Music Award winner with four wins in the last five years for Best Piano Player, and two recent wins for Best Contemporary Blues-Female Artist of the Year. She has also been honored as a Gulf Coast Music Hall of Fame Inductee.

Balboa Theatre, 868 Fourth Ave, in San Diego, 8 p.m., tickets from $30, 619-570-1100, sandiegotheatres.org

sunday, may 19

Zombie Prom

The cast of Zombie Prom

This girl-loves-ghoul rock ‘n roll off-Broadway musical is set in the atomic 1950s at Enrico Fermi High, where the law is laid down by a zany, tyrannical principal. Pretty senior Toffee has fallen for the class bad boy. Family pressure forces her to end the romance, and he charges off to the nuclear waste dump. He returns glowing and determined to reclaim Toffee’s heart. He still wants to graduate, but most of all he wants to take Toffee to the prom. The principal orders him to drop dead while a scandal reporter seizes on him as the freak du jour. History comes to his rescue while a tuneful selection of original songs in the style of ‘50s hits keeps the action rocking across the stage.

Moxie Theatre, 6663 El Cajon Blvd. in San Diego, 2 p.m., tickets from $17, 619-448-5673

Bottled & Kegged: San Diego’s Craft Brew Culture

This exhibit explores the ebb and flow of beer production in the San Diego region over the years and answers the question: Why is San Diego becoming such a nationally renowned region for craft beer production and innovation? Beginning with the region’s earliest inhabitants to the present day, the exhibit highlights events and individuals who built a brewing industry where once there was none, kept an industry alive during Prohibition, and managed to bring back what, at one time, was one of the region’s most robust enterprises. The exhibit features many hands-on interactive elements that help explain: the brewing process, how San Diego County brewers achieve such expansive flavor profiles, and the science behind matching beers with food. Bottled & Kegged has components that speaks to audiences of all ages and will educate even the most avid craft beer lover.

San Diego History Center, 1649 El Prado in Balboa Park, open daily from 10 a.m.-5 p.m., adult admission $6, 619-232-6203, sandiegohistory.org

tuesday, may 21

ONE NIGHT ONLY!

Guillermo Figueroa

The Figueroa Family and Its Jewish Roots: A Journey Through Music

Guillermo Figueroa was formerly music director of the New Mexico Symphony Orchestra and is currently music director of Colorado’s Music in the Mountains festival. Guillermo and his sister, Ivonne Figueroa, of the University of Puerto Rico, trace their family’s roots in a concert presentation with stories, photographs, violin and piano music. This event is part of the Anti-Defamation League’s festival “¡Celébrate! The Jewish Experience in Spanish-Speaking Countries.”

Lyceum Space, Horton Plaza in San Diego, 7:30 p.m., tickets $18, 619-544-1000, sdrep.org

wednesday, may 22

Shakespeare’s R and J

Shakespeare’s R and J

After curfew, four repressed students in a parochial school for boys discover in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet a forbidden text that becomes more dangerous as they explore their pent-up energy and adolescent passion boiling under the surface. A hot-blooded and unique take on R&J.

Cygnet Theatre, 4040 Twigg Street in San Diego, 7:30 p.m., tickets 434, 619-337-1525, cygnettheatre.com

During the past few years I’ve been changing my documented gender at various government agencies. I’ve obtained a court ordered change of documented gender with the state of California and used that court order to obtain a new birth certificate indicating I was born female. I also have provided required documents and followed specified procedures for changing my recorded gender with the Department of State (for a passport), Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), and the Social Security Administration.

The one last government agency that still recorded my gender as male was the Department of Defense (DOD). But, as of April 12, that changed. My recorded gender with the DOD is now female.

OutServe-SLDN and I are announcing today, May 16, that I’ve changed my documented gender with the Department of Defense. We’ve together documented which documents are required to change one’s electronic gender marker in the DOD’s databases, and the procedures and service specific addresses for submitting those documents to the four DOD military services. In a very direct way, documenting and publishing procedures will give other trans military retirees a template for how to accomplish changing their own DOD documented gender.

Documenting the DOD specific procedures have also put a spotlight on how different the required documents and procedures are for changing one’s recorded gender for the State Department, VA, Social Security Administration and DOD. The State Department and VA, in accordance with procedures found in Volume 7 of the U.S. Department of State Foreign Affairs Manual, require a letter which “upon presentation of a signed original statement, on office letterhead, from a licensed physician who has treated the applicant for his/her gender-related care or reviewed and evaluated the gender-related medical history of the applicant” will result in the issuance of a full validity U.S. passport or change of one’s recorded gender in the VA’s databases.

The DOD’s requirements are more onerous. They require all of the following documents to change one’s recorded gender:

1. Changed birth certificate (original or notarized copy)

2. Court order: name change document (original or notarized copy)

3. Notarized letter indicating surgical transition letter

4. Court order: change of gender (original or notarized copy)

5. Copy of updated Social Security Card or notarized copy of current Social Security Benefits indicating changed name and SSN

6. Copy of driver’s license, state-issued ID card, or passport with new name and gender indicated

The following additional document is a required document if one has a spouse that is enrolled in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS):

7. Notarized letter from the retired servicemember’s spouse indicating that he or she understands that after the DOD documents the gender change they will lose their Tricare coverage.

Considering that only approximately half the states in the Union allow changes to birth certificates to change one’s gender, the DOD policy on changing a veteran’s recorded gender is out of reach of a large number of trans former servicemembers.

In publicly documenting how onerous the current DOD’s policy is for changing recorded gender, I know I hope that the spotlight will bring pressure to bear on the DOD to change their policy.

And, changing one’s recorded name and/or gender at the DOD won’t result in being able to obtain an updated DD214 – a servicemember’s Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. According to the Army Board for Correction of Military Records’ Applicant’s Guide To Applying To The Army Board For Correction Of Military Records:

“If you have a name, gender, or social security number (SSN) change after discharge from the military, even if it is court ordered, the name and gender on your military records will not be changed since they are historical documents which record facts during the time you served in the military. If you need a certificate to show your current name or gender and that you served in the military under another, you can request such from the National Personnel Records Center, Military Personnel Records …”

Perhaps putting a spotlight on how trans veterans aren’t able to update their DD214’s to show their changed name and DOD recorded gender will also put a spotlight on how that policy should change too.

Documenting the current DOD process to change one’s recorded gender, though, is the first step toward changing DOD policies that harm trans servicemembers and veterans.

I’ll be working with OutServe-SLDN into the future to do just that.

Clarence Jordan

Wow! What an amazing passage! I like Acts 4 because it gives us a peek at how the early followers of Jesus came together and lived in an authentic community.

All throughout the gospels we read that first, John the Baptist, then Jesus, preached about the immanence of the Kingdom of God (or realm of God). Jesus boldly proclaimed, “The time is fulfilled, and the realm of God is at hand; repent and believe in the good news.” Another translation says it this way, “Jesus arrived on the scene preaching, ‘Change your whole way of thinking, for a new order is emerging among you.’”

Here Jesus is making a call to the realm of God. But let’s look also, at what Jesus is not calling his followers to. Jesus, before anything, calls us not to doctrine or not to dogma, not to personal salvation, not to social action, not to a charismatic experience, not to contemplation, not to liturgical renewal. Jesus calls us to the Kingdom of God or realm of God. The realm of God is not heaven or afterlife, but the way the world could and can be according to Divine intention.

Rev. J. Holub says, “We must not forget that Jesus encouraged his disciples to pray, “Your kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven …” He didn’t say pray, “to your kingdom we wish to go in heaven.” No, it is, “Your kingdom come on earth …”

And Jesus said that participation in this realm comes through repentance, a word that has been totally misunderstood and misrepresented. It has been portrayed as a debasing attitude toward self. It makes me think of those people at the Pride parades holding up the signs, “repent sinner.” The Greek word for repentance is metanoia, which means to have the whole form, character, and all of our lives undergo a radical shift so that we might be equipped and prepared to fully participate in this new order, the Kingdom of God; an order that has emerged and found expression in the life of Jesus; an order that challenges the world and challenges us.”

Let me tell you about a man named Clarence Jordan. Clarence Jordan was a prophetic figure in the history of American Christianity. Jordan’s roots were deeply embedded in the Southern Baptist church. He graduated from Southern Baptist Seminary with a Ph.D. in Greek New Testament in 1938. He also had a degree in agriculture from the University of Georgia in 1933. During his years of formal education he became convinced that the root causes of extreme poverty, that he saw all around him in the culture of the South, were not just economic and political causes, but also spiritual.

Driven by this growing and passionate conviction, in 1942, Clarence, along with his wife and another couple, moved to a 440 acre tract of land near Americus, Ga. to create an interracial Christian farming community. They called it Koinonia, a Greek word meaning “communion” or “fellowship” that is used in the Book of Acts to describe the communities that formed around Jesus.

The residents of Koinonia pledged themselves to the values of the realm of God as proclaimed and embodied by Jesus, including equality of all persons, rejection of violence, ecological stewardship (they had Earth Day everyday) and common ownership of possessions. (Remember, this is the deep South of the ‘40s)

At first, the Koinonia community lived in relative peace with their neighbors, but as the civil rights movement of the ‘50s and ‘60s gained momentum, they were boycotted and experienced violence, including bombings. It got so bad that Jordan asked President Eisenhower for help, but he refused to intervene with any federal protection. Instead, he referred the matter to the governor of Georgia, who responded by ordering the Georgia Bureau of Investigation to investigate Koinonia for suspected communist ties which, of course, there were none. Koinonia, a community based on the life of Jesus and the realm of God, was perceived as a threat to the status quo of the culture around them and the power structure that enforced it.

Jordan refused to participate in pro-civil rights marches and demonstrations, not because he didn’t favor it, but because he believed the best way to effect change was to live a radically different life in community. Like Jesus and like the community of Acts 4, he strove to embody the Kingdom of God at Koinonia.

In case you’re wondering, Koinonia survived, and is alive and well to this day. Their mission statement says: “While honoring and including people of all backgrounds and faiths, we strive to demonstrate the way of Jesus as an alternative to materialism, militarism and racism.”

The influence of the Koinonia community has been powerful and wide-reaching. Here’s something I didn’t know. In 1965, a multi-millionaire couple visited Koinonia, planning to stay for only a couple of hours. To make a long story short, in 1968 this couple made Koinonia their permanent home. They liquidated their plentiful assets, and with Koinonia as their center of operation, they started a series of “partnership housing ventures” for the poor in Africa. And – it was the birth of Habitat for Humanity.

The life and person of Jesus and this passage from Acts spoke in powerful and transformative ways that continue to make a profound impact on the world.

How is this speaking to your heart?

It frightens me, and it excites me both at the same time. It frightens me because it challenges my whole way of thinking, doing and being and challenges many of the values I hold sacred because “a new order is emerging” that Jesus announced and embodied. It excites me for the same reason in that it contains a call into a new dimension of what it means to be a human being – as one preacher put it, a more fully human person in the image of Jesus.

Our scripture says, “There was not a needy person among them.” We are living in a time when the disparity between the haves and have-nots in almost every culture and country and continent is widening; a time when more wealth and resources are being controlled by fewer and fewer.

We are hearing, more and more, that everyone is essentially on their own. And if you happen to be poor and without means or power; a senior or very young and in need of medical care; a person that has extraordinary or special needs that are very expensive; and you have no way to change your status in life – too bad!

But Luke says, “There was not a needy person among them.” Why? Because the early communities that formed around Jesus lived with a sense of interconnectedness. They took Jesus seriously when he said things like, “In the Kingdom of God the last shall be first.” “Thy kingdom come on earth …” Do we mean it when we pray it?

I was talking with a friend this past week who said, “There’s enough to go around.” There are enough resources, food, and shelter. Do we get numb seeing the number of homeless here in San Diego?

Luke says, “great grace” was upon them. They lived with grace. Perhaps this is the key to the whole thing. Rev. Holub said, “The tragedy of contemporary Christianity since the time of the Reformation is that grace has been defined too much as a noun; as a description of a state of personal salvation and personal eternal security – rather than – the way Jesus meant it and those early followers experienced it; as a verb, that changed their whole way of thinking, doing and being because “a new order was emerging” that they experience in Jesus.”

This article raises more questions than answers, and that’s OK. It’s OK for us to struggle with this in our own community of faith and I pray that as we ask those questions in San Diego, in 2013, wherever we are, how might we resemble and embody the life of Jesus, the realm of God, and the “Koinonia” of those early faith communities.

“Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul … with great power they gave their testimony … and great grace was upon them all.”

How is the Spirit moving in you? Speaking to you?

God, listen to your children praying.

God, send your Spirit in this place.

God, listen to your children praying.

Send us love, send us power, send us grace. Amen

Rev. Dan Koeshall is the senior pastor at The Metropolitan Community Church (The Met), 2633 Denver Street, San Diego, California, themetchurch.org. Services every Sunday at 9 and 11 a.m.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The National Cyber Security Alliance (NCSA), a non-profit public-private partnership focused on helping all digital citizens stay safer and more secure online, today announced a new collaboration initiative with the LGBT Technology Partnership to encourage greater awareness about cybersecurity and safety issues for LGBT communities.

The LGBT Technology Partnership works to provide a centralized, national presence for the many LGBT organizations and groups that are impacted by telecommunications, cable and technology policies. The organization also serves as a strong unified voice ensuring that policy implementation at the local, state and federal levels address the unique needs of the LGBT community.

While the NCSA has worked to educate all digital users about staying safe online for over a decade, the organization has increased its focus on more closely targeting specific populations with uniquely tailored awareness messages. This ongoing effort includes working with the LGBT Technology Partnership in creating an LGBT cyber education toolkit with fact sheets, tip sheets and posters.

Both organizations will also hold a Twitter Chat about LGBT cyber safety issues  June 13 in honor of Internet Safety Month and LGBT Pride Month. For more information, visitwww.stopthinkconnect.org/twitterchats.

“The Internet pervades our daily lives like never before and for specific populations such as the LGBT community, the Web is an integral tool to stay connected,” said Michael Kaiser, executive director of the National Cyber Security Alliance.  “Everyone with access to the Internet should be well educated about the importance of online safety and we believe that education and awareness is best received when it comes from a trusted a source. Our collaboration with the LGBT Technology Partnership allows for the dissemination of online safety and security practices via an organization with strong ties to their community. Since the LGBT community typically ranks among the earliest adopters of new technologies, it is critical that they have cutting edge information to make them safer and more secure online.”

“We are excited about our partnership with National Cyber Security Alliance and developing LGBT specific tips about staying safer online,” said Christopher Wood, co-founder of the LGBT Technology Partnership.  “The LGBT Technology Partnership’s mission is to make sure LGBT communities are aware of the significant benefits but also the underlying challenges that come with the early adoption of new technologies.  We are working with organizations like NSCA to make technological experiences safer for all communities.”

There is an increased need for ongoing cybersecurity education in LGBT communities through awareness initiatives. Past research has shown that an increased focus on cyber security awareness in the LGBT community is a necessity in a society where:

·       59 percent of gay men and 58 percent of lesbians are more likely to say they rely on technology to help manage their hectic lifestyles (“2012 LGBT Community Survey,” Community Marketing Inc.)

·       27 percent of gay men (mainly 18-29 year olds) and 18 percent of lesbians are early adopters of new technology products within their peer lifestyle networks (“2012 LGBT Community Survey,” Community Marketing Inc.)

·       Smartphone ownership among gay and lesbian consumers is almost a third more than the national average, with 87 percent LGBT smartphone owners compared to a 62 percent national average of smartphone owners (“2012 LGBT Community Survey,” Community Marketing Inc.)

For more details about the new partnership or LGBT cyber education materials, visit: www.staysafeonline.org.

Franklin Graham

(CNN) — Franklin Graham, one of the country’s most prominent evangelicals, says the targeting of conservative groups by the Internal Revenue Service included two of his ministries.

“I am bringing this to your attention because I believe that someone in the administration was targeting and attempting to intimidate us,” Graham wrote in a letter Tuesday to President Barack Obama. The evangelical leader is the son of famed evangelist Billy Graham.

Graham said the IRS contacted the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, a North Carolina-based ministry, after it ran newspaper ads in that state in April encouraging support for an amendment against same-sex marriage. The group also bought newspaper ads in November encouraging Christians to vote for candidates who oppose same-sex marriage, support Israel and “base their decisions on biblical principles.”

Graham said the ads were purchased by funds donated by “friends of our ministry.”

In September, the IRS informed the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and Samaritan’s Purse, an international aid group, that it would review the groups’ records for the tax year ending in 2010, according to Graham. IRS agents conducted the review in October, Graham said.

The organizations, both of which are run by Graham, later received notice that they remain eligible for federal tax exemptions, he said.

“I do not believe the IRS audits of our two organizations last year is a coincidence — or justifiable,” Graham said in the letter to Obama.

The IRS did not immediately respond to CNN’s request for comment. The agency has acknowledged that it gave extra scrutiny to tea party groups applying for federal tax exemptions. The Treasury Department’s inspector general said in a report that the IRS’ use of “inappropriate criteria” ended in May 2012.

Obama said Tuesday that he has directed Treasury Secretary Jack Lew to hold IRS employees accountable for “these failures.”

“But regardless of how this conduct was allowed to take place, the bottom line is, it was wrong,” Obama said.

Each year since 2004, May 17 has marked  the International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia (“IDAHO”) around the world. In more than 100 countries on all continents, activists and their allies are mobilizing.

The mobilization for the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia this year confirms that May 17 has become an annual landmark for the defense of human rights, as LGBT activists and their allies mark this date around the globe.

This mobilization includes:

• 17 African nations. In 14 of these countries homosexuality is legally punishable, with maximum prison sentences ranging from 3 months to 14 years.

• Several Middle-Eastern countries, including Egypt, Lebanon, Israel and Palestine.

• 17 of 21 countries in South and Central America.

• Several countries where there are more than 50 events planned around the day, including the UK, the US and Brazil.

Says Joel Bedos, executive director of the IDAHO committee, the organisation promoting the day worldwide, “The mobilization shows just how universal the fight for freedom and basic human rights is. Today, there are still 78 countries in which same-sex relationships are illegal.

“Although the world has made progress in relative terms, the actual number of people concerned by these laws is almost the same as in 1950, and today there are still 1.5 billion people who live under direct risk of criminal sanctions for same-sex relations. If we agree with the consensual figure of 3% of any population having a predominant emotional and sexual attraction to someone of the same sex, then we are talking about 45 million people whose love is illegal. That’s the population of Spain!

“And even if the decriminalization of homosexuality was to continue at the same pace it did since the ’50s, it still would be totally completed globally only in … 2040 !”

Around the world, hundreds of activists have unleashed their imagination to press their governments for change. This year, a special focus has been placed on staging ‘Rainbow Flashmobs’. In total, actions which connect with the “IDAHO Global Rainbow Flashmob” have been confirmed in 49 different countries. As part of this, multi-color dance flashmobs will happen through the streets of Nairobi and Bangkok, a “rainbow bubble” action is scheduled in Japan, and street parades are happening in Jakarta, Havanna and Managua !

And hundreds of other events are reported.

Amongst these, a special video The Riddle (see above) was released yesterday (May 14) by the United Nations’ Commissioner for Human Rights to mark the day. Still from the UN, Secretary General Ban Ki-moon will deliver an address during a major Europe-wide conference organised by the government of the Netherlands, in presence of HM the Queen and bringing together major stakeholders in European and global politics.

Meanwhile Pop icon Mika will headline the giant concert organised for IDAHO in Paris,  May 21.

On the other side of the Altantic, Washington, D.C’s National Cathedral will be hosting an event which will bring key faith leaders together to discuss how progressive religious voices contribute to fighting homophobia. Similar events calling on the positive power of religions will happen in an additional 11 countries.

Says a Kenyan community activist, “The International Day against Homophobia and Transphobia creates an opportunity for all to celebrate the courage of the thousands of people who pursue the thought of Margaret Mead: Never doubt that a small group of committed and thoughtful citizens can change the world ! And day after day, this is what we do !”

Shanghai Pride

June 14 the LGBT community in Shanghai will come together to celebrate its fifth anniversary. The eight-day event will be host to the usual assorted revelry, shirtlessness and tight Lycra short shorts. But amid the festivities, a note of seriousness will underscore what many see as an accomplishment in and of itself. “A week-long string of events has been planned to boost the LGBT’s community position in China and raise awareness around LGBT themes including marriage equality, sexual health and societal acceptance,” note event organizers.

While miniscule by Western standards, the 800 or so people that showed up for both last year’s opening and closing day festivities, demonstrated to the Chinese that a voice was emerging in a country where approval of same-sex marriage now hovers around 30 percent.

“We’re very optimistic that this year will be the biggest and most fun Pride yet, but more importantly it will be the most significant in terms of content,” said Dylan Chen, one of the event organizers. “With a greater focus on equality, advocacy and sexual health we hope that we can bring together people in a more meaningful way than we have done in the past. It’s time to stop being afraid of confronting the issues that seemed daunting to us before, it’s time for us to come together as a community and share our experiences and knowledge for the benefit of our society.”

This year’s Pride plans on showcasing independent queer cinema, too. The goal, event organizers state, is to make the Shanghai Gay and Lesbian Film Festival the largest of its kind in China in several years. This year’s Pride will also feature art and theatre performances.

It’s estimated that there are nearly 30 million gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in China many of whom are forced into cooperative marriages (xinghun) because of the intense social pressure to get married. But with each passing year, the growth of Pride events across China shows that change, however slow, will free thousands of young people to live their lives openly.

Being Alive HIV/AIDS Services is going green with the collection of plastic bottles and cans to support Daniel’s Pantry that feeds the clients every month. More than 400 people use the Pantry each month for a collection of canned goods, rice, fresh fruits and vegetables and some frozen meat. There are donation bins at local businesses and recyclables can be dropped off Monday to Friday, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Being Alive, 4070 Centre Street, San Diego, 92103. For more information on this program call Harrison at 619-291-1400 ext. 320.

Being Alive is also continuing on the going green by collecting used cell phones, inkjet cartridges, mp3 players, laser cartridges, laptops, iPods, cds, dvds, blue rays, video games and other small electronic devices. This not only helps the environment it also raises needed money for the valuable services at Being Alive. Any items can be dropped off at Being Alive, 4070 Centre Street, San Diego, 92103 or at The Postal Place, 1010 University Ave., Suite C113 in Hillcrest. For more information on the e-waste recycling program call Terry at 619-291-1400 ext. 313.

Being Alive San Diego’s mission is to deliver quality and compassionate services to people affected by HIV/AIDS and to provide education to those in need. Being Alive was formed by 6 HIV + individuals in 1989 to address the need for “peer driven” support and services. Today Being Alive is the longest running AIDS service organization in San Diego, serving more than 10,000 individuals every year.

Last year, a court in Moscow ruled that the Pride celebrations cannot take place for the next 100 years. This means that organizing a Pride event in the city can first be realized in 2112.

Now Stockholm Pride wants to  invites all Russians to instead # GOWEST and celebrate Pride in Stockholm, the capital of Sweden. They have devised a campaign that allows you to compose a Tweet-invite that’s automatically translated into Russian. In addition, your location for this particular Tweet will be changed to a location in Russia.

In a statement, Stockholm Pride said, “To celebrate that love, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity and gender identity is a democratic right, we have taken this opportunity to, with humor and love, direct a special invitation to all of Russia to celebrate Pride with us. Twitter is one of the fastest tools for advocacy worldwide. The goal of the campaign is to create a trending topic on Twitter with # GOWESTand thus reach out to both the people of Russia and the rest of the world.”

Visit Sweden have announced that their movie Glorious Stockholm, promoting Stockholm as a gay-friendly city has won a total of seven awards, one jury’s choice awards and received one nomination.

The awards are as follows:- Berlin Toura d’Or (2nd place)- Peoples Telly Awards on YouTube (2nd place)- Riga Tour Film (2nd place)- New York Festival – World TV & Films (nominated)- Tourism Film Festival Bulgaria (Jurys award)- Telly Awards (3 categories: Tourism, Music, Non Commercial Marketing Film)- Warsaw FilmArt & Tourism Festival “FilmAT” (3rd place for tourism)

Watch the video!

(CNN) — The Brazilian National Council of Justice, which oversees the nation’s judiciary, passed a resolution Tuesday that denies notaries the right to refuse to perform same-sex marriages.

In Brazil, notaries officiate marriages and civil unions.

Recently, 12 Brazilian states began allowing same-sex couples to marry or convert their civil unions into marriages. However, since the Supreme Court does not carry legislative powers, it was up to each notary to officiate at their discretion, and many refused, citing the lack of law.

Joaquim Barbosa

Joaquim Barbosa, president of the Council of Justice, said in the decision that notaries cannot continue to refuse to “perform a civil wedding or the conversion of a stable civil union into a marriage between persons of the same sex.”

Barbosa, who also presides over the Supreme Court, says the resolution merely follows the transformation of society.

“Our society goes through many changes, and the National Council of Justice cannot be indifferent to them,” he said.

Civil unions between same-sex couples have been recognized in Brazil since 2011, after the Supreme Court ruled that the same rights and rules that apply to “stable unions” of heterosexual couples would apply to same-sex couples, including the right to joint declaration of income tax, pension, inheritance and property sharing. People in same-sex unions are also allowed to extend health benefits to their partners, following the same rules applied to heterosexual couples.

Brazilian lawmakers have debated same-sex marriage, but in most cases, the bills introduced have not progressed through Congress.

Brazilian neighbors Uruguay and Argentina are the only other two countries in Latin America that have laws allowing same-sex couples to marry.

SAN DIEGO — San Diego Pride has announced its 2013 Spirit of Stonewall Award winners, who will be honored at the Spirit of Stonewall Rally, taking place Friday, July 12 at 6 p.m., at the Hillcrest Pride Flag.

The annual awards are designed to honor individuals and organizations that have made a positive impact on San Diego’s LGBT community. Nominations for the awards were received from the San Diego community and the list of recipients is as follows:

Champion of Pride
Cheli Mohamed – 20 years of service to San Diego LGBT Pride

The Champion of Pride Award honors individuals or couples who have demonstrated outstanding leadership in the LGBT community during an extended period of years, or who have made an exceptional contribution through the past year.

Friend of Pride
David Boies and Ted Olson – Prop. 8 legal team, American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER)
Cindy Green – LGBT ally, community volunteer

The Friend of Pride Award honors individuals or couples who do not identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, but who have stalwartly supported the LGBT community through an extended period of years or the past year.

Stonewall Service Award
North County LGBTQ Resource Center and Executive Director Max Disposti – service provider

The Stonewall Service Award honors groups or organizations, which may or may not identify as specifically LGBT, but which have greatly supported the community through an extended period of years and/or have made an exceptional contribution in the past year.

Community Service
Sean Bohac – marriage equality activist
Gibran Guido – queer person of color (QPOC) activist
Hector Martinez – LGBTQ advocate
Jeri Muse – Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System, LGBT Work Group chair

The Community Service Award honors individuals or couples who are recognized as “up-and-coming” leaders within the community, or whose contributions to the community over the past year carried significant impact.

Since the enactment of anti-gay ‘propaganda’ laws that have overwhelmingly passed in some of Russia’s largest cities, the LGBT community is seeing a discernible rise in violent crimes. Recently, a young gay man, Vladislav Tornovoi,

Vladislav Tornovoi

was brutally attacked then killed after he admitted to his drinking buddies that he was gay. In Volgograd, the 23-year-old man was beaten, had a beer bottle forcefully inserted in his anus, was set on fire and then, for good measure, had a stone dropped on his head killing him at once.

With the brutality of his death comes the painful realization that Russian society is on the brink of an all-out war against the LGBT community. Adding fuel to the fire is President Vladimir Putin’s call to allow the ultra-conservative Orthodox Church a larger voice in the moral direction of the country. With passage of a decree to that effect all but certain, gay activists, like Nikolai Alexeyev, worry that it will translate into a license to act. “It essentially gives these people carte blanche to commit such crimes,” Alexeyev warned. “Such crimes are committed around Russia every day. As a rule, all these crimes are categorized as something ordinary – they argued over a bottle of vodka, or there was ‘personal animosity’. The real motive of hate is not mentioned.”

Hate crime statistics are hard to come by in Russia where the concept is fairly new (and tenuous). For example, there were only three attacks reported in 2011 but 12 in 2012.

Gay activists say the government’s conservative policies offer “unspoken support” for violence. This, they say, could even have made the suspects in the Volgograd murder describe their victim as gay to win some sympathy.

That, coupled with Russia’s declining population together with rising HIV rates, make gays easy targets. On a recent trip to the Netherlands, faced with very vocal opposition, Putin clearly made his position, however tortured, known. ““It is imperative to protect the rights of sexual minorities, but let’s agree that same-sex marriage does not produce children,” Putin said.

The outlook for the near future is grim and while activists continue to combat the rising tide of intolerance, Putin, along with the state-sanctioned church make one thing all but certain: crimes against the LGBT community, if reported, will remain far under the radar screen.

David and Jason are a married bi-national couple fighting the Defense of Marriage Act which denies gay Americans more than 1,100 federal rights. This includes preventing gay Americans from gaining green cards for their foreign born spouses.

Since meeting in the Spring of 2007, Jason has returned to L.A. more than a dozen times for expensive lengthy visits but is now being warned he will no longer be allowed to visit as a tourist. Aside from separating the pair on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and countless other occasions DOMA has cost the couple upward of $12,000 on flights alone and forced Jason to put his career on hold.

Anthony (Tony) Serafini

Born June 1, 1967

May 7 we lost our dear friend Tony Serafini.

In life we loved you dearly, in death we do the same as well.  It broke our hearts to lose you, you did not go alone; for part of us went with you.  You left us peaceful memories, your love is still our guide; and though we cannot see you, you are always at our side.  Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems to be the same; but as God calls us one by one, the chain will link again.

Tony was survived by his mother, Lorraine Serafini and his brother Stephen Serafini.  Sadly no mother should ever lose a child.  Our hearts go out to his family.

Tony’s memorial service will be held Sunday May 19 at gay beach in Balboa park between Quince Drive and Balboa Drive, San Diego CA 92103 from 2-4 p.m. Dress casual as Tony would like.  In lieu of cards, gifts or flowers kindly  make a donation to the www.thetrevorproject.org/ in Tony’s name.

Marcus Urban

(CNN) — Four walls, a bed and a slop bowl. If prison represents physical confinement and a loss of every personal freedom, what does imprisonment of the mind feel like?

“Unbearable” according to Marcus Urban, a German footballer who gave up his chosen profession — his “first love” — because of homophobia in the game.

In a sport infamous for macho bravado on the pitch and anti-gay chants in the terraces, Urban was battling an unspeakable shame.

A promising talent, Urban in his youth played alongside and against future German national team stars Robert Enke, Bernd Schneider and Thomas Linke.

“To play soccer basically means to rejoice in life,” Urban told CNN. “I never stopped playing football. It has always been my first love and it will remain forever.”

But, as is the case with so many first loves, Urban’s left him with a heartbreak which was almost too much to bear.

The young midfielder, born and raised in East Germany in the 1970s and 80s in the days before reunification with West Germany in 1990, dreamed of representing his country — but he was living an exhausting double life.

On the surface he was a rising football star, but beneath he was a man coming to terms with his homosexuality.

“I hid 24 hours a day, I adjusted,” explained Urban, who was terrified of being “outed” in a sport which today has just one openly gay professional player in Europe.

“It was an almost unbearable pain, a great sacrifice, a painful price to pay to achieve my goal of becoming a professional footballer.

“Constantly hearing gay used as a curse word like s**t, made me think, ‘Of course, I’m s**t.’ I spent 50% of my energy trying to hide, so a maximum of 50% of my energy was available for football. It wasn’t fair.

“I kept thinking, ‘I cannot do this anymore, I don’t want to. What is going on?’ Nobody was there to help me.”

Urban’s love affair with football began in 1978, when he joined East German club Motor Weimar at the age of seven before moving to Rot-Weiss Erfurt in 1984.

He trained twice a day with his new team and looked capable of achieving his ambition of playing for the German national team, winning a youth championship with Rot-Weiss in 1985.

His reputation was growing and he was called up to East Germany’s youth team in 1986. Urban went on to make over 100 appearances for Rot-Weiss’ senior team in the German second division.

But rather than marking the start of his rise to the top of German football, Urban’s spell in Erfurt proved to be the peak of a career cut short by fear, insecurity and self-loathing.

“By my early 20s I was burned out,” he said.

“I realized that if I became a professional footballer, I would suffer as a man. I chose freedom over a constructed prison.

“Talent is not enough. You need the will, physical fitness, good luck and a tough mentality. But what if you hide 24 hours a day because you are gay?

“The fear and pain robbed me of my energy because I was constantly thinking of what to say, how to act so people might think I was heterosexual.”

When it became clear he was in the twilight of his playing career, Urban finally summoned the courage to open up to one of his teammates following a switch to provincial club SC 1903 Weimar in 1991.

“I told only one player, in Weimar at the end of my career — and precisely for this reason,” said Urban. “He found it interesting that I was gay, I was one of his best friends on the team.”

Compared to other areas of society, the football profession is statistically lacking in openly gay players.

Former United States national team player Robbie Rogers recently announced he was gay on the same day he retired from the sport, while Sweden-based Anton Hysen is currently the only openly “out” player in Europe.

Justin Fashanu’s tragic story is the last time a top-flight player has been so open.

The Englishman committed suicide in 1998, aged 37 — just eight years after announcing that he was gay. He had become the first £1 million black player when he joined Nottingham Forest in 1981.

Speaking at a sports forum in Berlin last September, German chancellor Angela Merkel urged gay players to feel confident enough to “come out.”

Her comments came following an article in a German magazine in which an anonymous gay Bundesliga player said the fear of added media attention was the reason why he hadn’t announced his sexuality.

German second division team FC St. Pauli placed itself on the front line of football’s battle with homophobia during a match with Paderborn.

Fans of the club, formerly run by openly gay president Corny Littmann, staged a demonstration against discrimination which included brightly-colored posters and a banner reading, “Football is everything — even gay.”

Basketballer Jason Collins recently made history by becoming the first openly gay NBA player, while the NHL has drawn plaudits for its anti-homophobia work.

Fifteen years on from Fashanu’s suicide, with other sports such as rugby and basketball setting a precedent and with the NFL reportedly closer than ever to having a homosexual player, is the beautiful game ready for a high-profile gay star?

“Why not?” replied Urban. “It is a great opportunity for the football world to show now that it is ready. Associations and clubs can come out as ‘gay-friendly’. Then players, officials, coaches, referees and so many others will follow.

“The effects of outings gay footballers will go far beyond football.”

After years of torment and secrecy, Urban’s coming out proved to be a turning point. With new-found confidence, he was able to pursue a life away from the football pitch.

Urban has told his story in the book “Hidden Player: The story of a gay footballer,” while he is also something of a life coach, consulting with organizations — including football associations — on issues of diversity and integration.

“I was so glad to finally be myself and I finally knew what the years of torment had been about,” he explained. “With the energy and force of liberation I went on the front foot, on the offensive.

“I work as a personal coach and diversity consultant. I work for organizations and I help them to appreciate the dimensions of age, ethnicity, gender, religion and even sexual orientations.”

With a wealth of personal and professional expertise on the subject of “coming out,” Urban is in a unique position to offer advice to any player in a similar situation to the one he found himself in two decades ago.

According to Urban, former Wales international rugby player Gareth Thomas — who told the world he was gay in 2009 — has set out the perfect blueprint for others to follow.

“He proceeded in stages,” Urban said of Thomas. “First he outed himself to his wife. Then he told his coach and then two players. After each step he received positive feedback.

“He was told by everyone that he was still the same person. This enabled him to increase his self-esteem until it was big enough to go public. He then got exceptionally positive feedback.”

An openly gay football star would be a turning point not just for the sport, declares Urban, but also for society as a whole.

Football, he suggests, stretches into areas where attitudes towards homosexuality have so far proved difficult to change.

“Football is the only way to tackle this topic comprehensively,” he said. “Very many people are geared towards football role models on television.

“If world soccer stars accepted their homosexuality, young people would question having to be so rough and macho.

“The result would be a social change that goes far beyond football.”

Urban is now comfortable with his sexuality, but he is not impervious to the homophobic barbs he often overhears in general conversation.

“‘F****, f****t’, any negative way of calling someone gay,” replies Urban when asked which insults he hears. “I was constantly affected by insults. Although it is not said to me directly it concerns me, even today.”

“But today, with more self-esteem and confidence, I look at homophobia from the perspective of a personal coaches and diversity consultant. Sometimes I have to laugh about it too, because it’s stupid and ridiculous.”

Self-esteem and confidence have helped Urban to heal the wounds inflicted by his first love, football.

He is once more besotted with the sport, playing with and against gay-friendly teams from across the globe.

It might not be playing at a World Cup with the German national team, but Urban is now back on the pitch, this time with his head held high.

“I really wanted to play for the men’s national team,” reflected Urban. “It makes me happy to have made something out of my experiences.

“For years I could never play football in the stadium. I saw the grass and could not stand being a spectator rather than being down playing on the pitch. I had regrets, I was sad and angry.

“After I came out I was so much more confident. I played football at university, in a team consisting predominantly of gay footballers against other gay teams from Paris, London or New York and Washington.

“Today, I play at a club in Hamburg, accepted by everyone and my teammates are proud of me, I think. It is a great experience to play football and to feel free, pure happiness.

“There are certainly more boring lives than mine.”

There are leaders within the LGBT community that are extremely frustrated that President Obama has not issued an executive order eliminating discrimination in employment for our community. Those leaders are extremely shortsighted and do not fully understand the strategy of the Obama administration.

First, an executive order can be overturned immediately by the next president who disagrees with the order. President Obama is smarter than that. What Obama wants is the Congress of the United States to recognize that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people deserve the same treatment as everyone else in America.

The LGBT community wants equality in the workplace. Yesterday.  Unfortunately, in the current political environment, if President Obama issued an executive order to ensure employment non-discrimination for LGBT people, what is likely to happen is retaliation from the Republican House of Representatives and potentially a Republican Senate, or worse an executive order by a Republican president in 2016 that codifies LGBT employment discrimination.

Executive orders are temporary fixes. President Obama is about permanent solutions; solutions that cannot be easily overturned by the stroke of a pen. That is what the LGBT community should be working toward. In this case, haste indeed does make waste.

President Obama is thoughtful and methodical, we all know that. The same LGBT voices, who cry out for an executive order ending LGBT discrimination in employment, are many who said that Obama would not repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, or pass hospital visitation rights. Those voices were wrong then and they are wrong now.

President Obama understands that it is prudent to wait for the Supreme Court decisions concerning same-sex marriage in California and the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). It is crystal clear that the court will rule that marriage is a state’s rights issue. Thereby, Californians should be able to enter into same-sex marriages by July based upon the lower court ruling.

Once the Supreme Court rules that same-sex marriage is a state’s rights issue, then they will overturn DOMA and effectively give all the federal rights granted to heterosexual couples to same-sex couples. It is a win-win-win.

When gays and lesbians get marriage in California from the Supreme Court, the LGBT community will be happy, the right wing will be happy because the ruling will not create same-sex marriage nationally, and the Supreme Court will be happy because it will be on the right side of history.

An executive order will only complicate the marriage issue, as well as the potential passage of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which will protect LGBT people from workplace discrimination. Why can’t our community give President Obama a break? Obama has proven that his LGBT equality agenda is working and his detractors have proven time and time again that their strategies or suggestions are not fully developed.

The president supports same-sex marriage which has dramatically changed the view of the electorate in the United States. Obama has judiciously used executive orders to ensure he does not step on the toes of Congress. The time to ask for an executive order is in late June or early July after the Supreme Court has ruled in our favor. Not now. Obama knows better, and to be frank, I trust his political judgment more than many of the leaders in the LGBT community.

STAMPP CORBIN

PUBLISHER

San Diego LGBT Weekly

LGBTweekly.com

The state of Minnesota made it a round dozen for marriage equality when it became the twelfth state to pass a marriage equality bill. Minnesota also became the first Midwestern state to do so legislatively as Iowa became a marriage equality state due to a decision by the state Supreme Court.

Gov. Mark Dayton has vowed to sign the bill.

Scott Dibble

Openly gay Sen. Scott Dibble led the effort in the Senate and and openly lesbian Rep. Karen Clark was lead sponsor in the House. Gaypolitics.com reported that moments before his vote Dibble said, “Today we have the power, the awesome, humbling power to make dreams come true.”

Chuck Wolfe, president and CEO of the Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund said, “This is a dream come true for same-sex couples across Minnesota, and for the state’s gay and lesbian lawmakers who’ve worked so hard for this victory. Their leadership has been powerful and inspirational, and they deserve our thanks for standing up for fairness, for equality and for all LGBT Minnesotans.”

(CNN) — A transsexual woman has won on appeal the right to marry her boyfriend, a decision poised to rewrite Hong Kong’s marriage law.

The appellant — known only by the initial “W” — is a post-operative male-to-female transsexual who was refused the right to marry because she did not quality as a “woman” under Hong Kong law.

The Court of Final Appeal ruled 4-1 Monday that the restriction was unconstitutional. The 37-year-old woman — who had a government-subsidized sex change operation — had twice lost her case at lower courts.

“I may have born a man but after transgender surgery at a government hospital more than five years ago, I’ve lived my life as a woman and been treated as a woman in all respects except as regards my right to marry,” W said in a statement to local reporters through her attorney, Michael Vidler, according to the South China Morning Press.

“This decision rights that wrong, and I’m very happy the Court of [Final] Appeal now recognizes my desire to marry my boyfriend one day, and that desire is no different to that of any other woman who seeks the same here in Hong Kong.”

The court decision will not come into effect for 12 months to give the Hong Kong legislature the opportunity to address the portion of the law deemed unconstitutional. “We should make it clear that nothing in this judgment is intended to address the question of same sex marriage,” Chief Justice Geoffrey Ma Tao-li and Judge Robert Ribeiro wrote in their majority decision.

The majority found the idea that a “woman” is a biological criteria fixed at birth “is particularly hard to justify in the light of significant medical advances in the treatment of transsexualism and important changes in the understanding of and social attitudes towards transsexual persons which have occurred over the last 40 odd years.”

The only dissenting judge — Patrick Chan Siu-Oi — argued “it is difficult and unrealistic to consider marriage to be entirely unconnected with procreation.

“There is no evidence that social attitudes in Hong Kong on the institution of marriage have changed to the extent that this concept of marriage has been abandoned or generally and substantially weakened,” Judge Chan wrote.

Christian DeMario Davis

In what some see as a quasi-victory, New York Jets linebacker and self-described devout Christian Christian DeMario Davis went public Thursday in his support of gay athletes. In an interview with the Daily News, Davis appeared supportive of the idea of playing with other members of his team who were gay. “If someone was to come out on our team, we’re a team that’s about winning,” Davis said. “When it comes to the (Jets), I put my personal beliefs separate from the team.”

But moments later, during that same interview, Davis made sure to add that his religious beliefs inform his worldview. ““According to the scriptures, and God’s law, homosexuality is wrong. The act is wrong,” Davis said. “I’ve got homosexuals in my family who I love to death. I’ve got drunks in my family. I’ve got people who have premarital sex in my family. And I don’t agree with any of those things, but I still love and respect those people.”

The response comes on the heels of news that Jason Collins, the center for the Washington Wizards, came as gay making him the first man on a professional North American sports franchise to publicly come out while still playing.

And while there has been some blowback to Collins’ announcement, some of it far less nuanced than Davis’, his reaction, he admits, comes from many of the angry responses generated by ESPN sport commentator Chris Broussard’s now famous statement that being gay was an “open rebellion against God.”

“What really made me upset was when people began to attack Chris Broussard,” Davis said. “It’s important for me to do interviews of this nature, to talk about faith and political views and religious views because, it’s very important that the entire scope of the thinking is understood, versus just one set of views on a particular act.”

Davis, while skirting  specifics, spoke of his own struggles in college with alcohol and pre-marital sex but it is assumed that homosexuality was not among them. “If you have a problem with someone being against homosexuality your problem isn’t with me, your problem is against God,” Davis said.

SAN DIEGO – The San Diego LGBT Community Center has announced the launch of Project TRANS, its Transgender Services Program. Project TRANS (Transgender Referrals, Assistance, Networking and Services) will serve as an umbrella for the various services The Center has previously offered specifically to the transgender community, including discussion groups, behavioral health services, HIV prevention services, youth services and more.

In addition, the program will also focus on advocacy, referrals, outreach, cultural sensitivity trainings, social activities and events, workshops and networking with community agencies. Through a partnership with the Transgender Law Center, Project TRANS will also provide assistance with legal documents for those who need to change their name and gender marker on their driver’s license or other forms of identification, often a daunting task for transgender individuals.

Connor Maddocks

The new project will be led by program coordinator Connor Maddocks, who has served the community with The Center for seven years.

“The Center has offered discussion groups and behavioral health counseling for a long time, but it is time to branch out to address some of the more specific and emerging needs of the community by having a designated program and program staff dedicated specifically to working on the issues that are really affecting the transgender and gender queer community right now,” Maddocks said.

“I’m hoping we can help build and strengthen the community, and make clear that the transgender and gender queer community are safe, welcomed and celebrated at The Center.”

For more information about Project TRANS and a schedule of the various discussion groups, please visit The Center’s Web site at thecentersd.org or contact Maddocks at 619-692-2077, ext. 109 or via e-mail at trans@thecentersd.org

NEW YORK (CNNMoney) — While same-sex couples across the country fight for the right to marry, others are fighting for the right to divorce.

A patchwork of state marriage laws and the federal Defense of Marriage Act has made the process of unraveling a relationship extremely difficult — and expensive.

A same-sex couple who marries in one state and later relocates to a state that doesn’t recognize the marriage, for example, may be unable to get a traditional divorce. Often, they either have to move to the state where they married to establish residency or dissolve the marriage outside of the court system. Some states call this a dissolution of marriage instead of a divorce.

In most cases, this means filing a civil lawsuit — or multiple lawsuits. With no threat of a trial or a judge to make a ruling, couples often get stuck in negotiations and the lawyer fees can really pile up, said Kevin Maillard, a law professor at Syracuse University specializing in nontraditional families.

And because this is still a niche area of practice, the lawyers aren’t cheap.

“While we celebrate the growing acceptance of gay marriage, there is a tendency to avoid the issue that gay divorce goes along with it,” said Jim Duke, founder of the Guide for Gay Men and a life coach who helps men with issues like divorce. “The current legal structure leaves massive holes that straight couples do not face.”

Duke entered a domestic partnership in California in 2001, but eight years later he and his partner divorced. He ended up paying $12,000 in legal fees for a simple 50-50 split of property and assets.

Christina Fuentes and her partner decided not to dissolve their civil union after realizing it was going to cost at least $6,000 — even though the only property they would need to divide was their furniture. Instead, they waited two years, until Fuentes got a full-time job, to start the separation process.

“The lawyer fees were [high], because this is a new type of law and basically lawyers have to figure out how to charge and how to negotiate with the other side,” she said.

For an out-of-court settlement in states where same-sex marriage isn’t recognized, a same-sex divorce typically costs around $20,000, versus $10,000 for an opposite-sex couple, said Randall Kessler, a partner at Kessler & Solomiany Family Law Attorneys in Atlanta.

And the costs go up exponentially when children are involved. Even though a divorce typically can’t be brought to court in states that don’t recognize same-sex marriage, custody issues can — resulting in court fees on top of the lawyer fees the couple is already paying to resolve property issues outside of court.

Same-sex couples who negotiate property division on their own but bring the custody issue to court are usually looking at $40,000, compared to $20,000 for opposite-sex couples, Kessler said. And a long, drawn-out court battle over custody could lead costs to jump to $100,000 or more for a same-sex couple, twice what it costs for an opposite-sex couple.

Many same-sex couples face extra custody costs even in states where same-sex marriage is recognized.

Andrea Friedman, an associate at Sari M. Friedman in New York, is representing a client who is battling for custody of her child. But since the client isn’t the biological mother — her wife carried the child — her legal standing to argue for custody is in question, and an appeal has been filed against her.

“An appeal can be very costly, so on top of the cost to get divorce, the fight over custody adds more legal work on top of it and can really complicate things,” said Friedman.

Other attorneys say same-sex divorces cost the same amount as opposite-sex divorces in states where same-sex marriage is recognized — and are sometimes even cheaper because the marriages are usually very short given how recently the laws have taken effect.

No matter what state they’re in, same-sex partners can still be subject to a federal gift tax when they transfer property or assets worth more than $14,000 to one another in a divorce. Opposite-sex married couples don’t have to pay this tax when dividing assets.

Another growing trend that makes divorce even more complicated for same-sex couples: some like to get married in multiple states in order to secure rights in as many places as possible — making it unclear how many divorces are needed and potentially causing costs to skyrocket, said Carolyn Satenberg, a New York divorce attorney.

“Everything will be murky until case law develops, and the murkier it is, the longer it’s going to take to hash out — and the more hours it takes, the more expensive it is,” said Satenberg.

SAN FRANCISCO – GLAAD honored California Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom, Grammy-nominated singer Adam Lambert and the best in entertainment and journalism Saturday night at the 24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in San Francisco. Mel B, Guillermo Diaz, Tamala Jones, Jinkx Monsoon, Rex Lee and Laverne Cox were among the special guests.

The GLAAD Media Awards recognize and honor media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and the issues that affect their lives. The GLAAD Media Awards also fund GLAAD’s work to amplify stories of LGBT people and issues that build support for equality.

At the ceremony, filmmaker Jennifer Siebel Newsom presented GLAAD’s Golden Gate Award to her husband, Gavin Newsom.

In accepting the award, Newsom said, “There’s one fundamental that defines the best of this city, and the best of this organization, and that is we don’t tolerate our diversity, we truly celebrate our diversity. We highlight all those wonderful and interesting differences, but at the end of the day we unite around our common humanity. As Dr. King so eloquently said, ‘We are all bound together by a web of mutuality.’ We’re all in this together.”

Melanie Brown, a judge on America’s Got Talent and former Spice Girl, presented GLAAD’s Davidson/Valentini Award to out singer Adam Lambert. Speaking of the challenges associated with being an out entertainer, Lambert said, “We are right in the middle of two generations with two different perspectives but one common thread – love. With all the differences of opinion both within the LGBT community and elsewhere, the best we can do is to keep it real and to spread a message of acceptance. If we can inspire even one person to open their mind, or another to be who they want to be, whether they’re gay or straight, old or young, man or woman, black or white – then it’s worth being objectified by the sometimes frustrating world of media sensationalism.”

Lambert continued, “Thank you to GLAAD for recognizing my efforts, because I put a lot of effort into this. I think about it a lot (it makes me crazy), but my goal is to try to represent both myself and my community proudly.”

The reigning World Series champion San Francisco Giants received the Corporate Leader Award. The Giants are the first professional sports team honored by GLAAD. They were the first ever professional sports team to host an HIV/AIDS benefit game in 1994, and have generated more than $1.3 million for Bay Area HIV/AIDS education. The Giants were also the first major league sports team to record a video for the It Gets Better project, and this month will hold their 11th Annual LGBT Night Out.

Travis Fine, the writer/director of Any Day Now, accepted the award for Outstanding Film – Limited Release. Writer and artist Dan Parent accepted the award for Outstanding Comic Book for the ongoing comic book series Kevin Keller. Journalist Marc Lamont Hill accepted the award for Outstanding Digital Journalism Article for his piece “Why Aren’t We Fighting for CeCe McDonald?” which appeared on Ebony.com.

GLAAD also presented Special Recognition Awards to Kevin McClatchy, former owner of the Pittsburgh Pirates baseball team who came out in a New York Times article last year, and Brittney Griner, an out basketball player and this year’s number one draft pick for the WNBA.

RuPaul’s Drag Race winner Jinkx Monsoon performed for the capacity crowd. Guests included: Tamala Jones (Castle); Guillermo Diaz (Scandal); Jessica Clark (True Blood); Rex Lee (Suburgatory); Teri Polo, Sherri Saum, Peter Paige (The Fosters); Jaymes Vaughn, James Davis (The Amazing Race); Kyle Richards (The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills); Jennifer Biesty, Ryan Scott, Josie Smith-Malave (Top Chef); Laverne Cox, E.J. Bonilla (Musical Chairs); Travis Fine, Isaac Leyva (Any Day Now); Dan Parent (writer, artist Kevin Keller); Marc Lamont Hill (HuffPost Live); Prop 8 plaintiffs Jeff Zarrillo, Paul Katami, Kris Perry, Sandra Stier; LGBT advocates Karen and Eric Andresen, Shane Bitney Crone, Jennifer Tyrrell and Dr. Kortney Ryan Ziegler; former Pittsburgh Pirates owner Kevin McClatchy; number one WNBA draft pick Brittney Griner; GLAAD National Spokespersons Wilson Cruz and Omar Sharif, Jr.

Following is a complete list of GLAAD Media Award recipients announced Saturday in San Francisco. Additional awards were presented in New York on March 16 and in Los Angeles on April 20.

• Golden Gate Award: Lt. Gov. Gavin Newsom
• Davidson/Valentini Award: Adam Lambert
• Corporate Leader Award: San Francisco Giants
• Outstanding Film – Limited Release: Any Day Now (Music Box Films)
• Outstanding Music Artist: TIE: Adam Lambert, Trespassing (19 Recordings, RCA Records) and Frank Ocean, Channel Orange (Def Jam)
• Outstanding Comic Book: Kevin Keller (Archie Comics)
• Outstanding Digital Journalism Article: “Why Aren’t We Fighting for CeCe McDonald?” by Marc Lamont Hill (Ebony.com)
• Outstanding Digital Journalism – Multimedia: “Edie Takes on DOMA” In the Life (ITLMedia.org)
• Outstanding Blog: Rod 2.0 (http://rodonline.typepad.com)

SPANISH-LANGUAGE

• Outstanding TV Journalism Segment: “En el cuerpo equivocado” Noticias 19 (KUVS TV-19 [Sacramento, Calif.])

More than 100 corporate partners are showing their support, including National Presenting partners Ketel One Vodka and Wells Fargo, New York and Los Angeles Presenting partner Delta Air Lines, and San Francisco Presenting partner Southwest Airlines. GLAAD is also grateful to the 24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards Platinum Underwriter corporate partners Anheuser-Busch, Inc., Comcast/NBCUniversal, Prudential and Sheppard Mullin, as well as Underwriter corporate partners: Allstate Insurance Company, AT&T, Barefoot Wine & Bubbly, Caesars Foundation, Disney-ABC Television Group/ESPN, Kirkland & Ellis, New York Marriott Marquis & Renaissance Hotel, PwC and VPI Pet Insurance. Gold Patron partners include 1800Flowers, CBS/Showtime, Citi, Viacom, and the Wasserman Foundation.

NEW YORK, – Here TV  America’s only gay television network, announced today that Here TV’s award-winning programming is now available as a YouTube paid channel, the newly launched subscription-based platform. Episodes of classic Here TV series will be available immediately on demand through the new service for a low monthly or yearly subscription. Here TV is one of the first paid channels rolling out on YouTube.

“We are excited to launch our YouTube paid channel to bring our original, LGBT programming to a new global platform. Here TV continues to embrace the latest innovations in program distribution,” says John Mongiardo , Here TV’s SVP of Programming Operations.

Here TV will debut on YouTube in: the U.S., Canada, Great Britain, Spain, France, Australia, Japan,South Korea, Russia, and Brazil. To subscribe users must sign into a YouTube account on a computer and have a Google Wallet account. Here TV’s channel will be available for viewing on: computers, phones, tablets, and TV.

Here TV titles available will include Dante’s Cove and The Lair; the Emmy-nominated documentary 30 Years From Here; She’s Living for This ; political talk show For & Against ; marriage equality special Pride & Groom; network special The Dinah Girls; and more.

“We are thrilled to be part of this launch. As we continue to create original programs, this new channel will allow us to have an extensive global perspective in the development of new content and reaching a new audience,” says Josh Rosenzweig , SVP of Original Programming and Development for Here TV.

(CNN) — Minnesota’s House of Representatives passed a bill that would legalize same-sex marriage, putting the Midwestern state in line to become the 12th nationwide to take that step.

Rep. Karen Clark of the Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party of Minnesota sponsored the bill, which passed Thursday night by a vote of 75-59.

Supporters celebrated on the steps of the state capitol after the vote, chanting, “Thank you, thank you.”

The bill will now go to the Senate, where local news reports say it is expected to pass. Gov. Mark Dayton has said he would sign it into law, according to local news website MinnPost.

On May 2, Rhode Island became the 10th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Five days later, it was the turn of Delaware, which became the 11th state to sign same-sex marriage into law.

The same-sex marriage debate has polarized the United States.

In March, a divided Supreme Court heard arguments over the legality of two marriage laws — the federal Defense of Marriage Act, which defines marriage as between one man and one woman, and California’s Proposition 8, which bans same-sex marriage.

The nine justices hinted at disparate views on the hot-button issue, and it was far from clear how they will rule. A decision is expected in June.

Other nations around the world are also grappling with the issue.

Among them is France, where lawmakers passed a bill legalizing same-sex marriage and adoption last month despite vocal protests from conservatives. Opponents have filed a legal challenge and the bill has not yet been signed into law by the president.

In a move that are some are calling straight out of the Dark Ages, Illiza Sa’aduddin Djama, deputy mayor of Indonesia’s most western province Banda Aceh, has called for the criminalization of homosexuality and a punishment of 100 public lashing for anyone found guilty of engaging in its conduct, reports England’s Pink News. Calling homosexuality “a social disease that should be eradicated,” Djama’s wish is to align public behavior with Shari’ah law, the code by which many devout Muslims live by.

“There is no law that could be used to charge them,” she lamented. “The existing [regulations] only stipulate about khalwat [being in close proximity] for intimate relations between unmarried males and females.” Furthermore, like in many repressive societies, intimate relations are often carried on in private, far beyond the prying eyes of the morality police.

Hartoyo, a well-known and widely respected gay rights activists in Indonesia, calls the need for such a measure ‘backwards’ and adds that Islam, like all religions, is open to interpretation. ““We’re living in 2013, not in the Middle Ages,” said the secretary-general of Our Voice, an LGBT advocacy group. “It’s sad to have a deputy mayor who could think that way… other countries have started to allow homosexual marriage, why coming up with such idea to punish the LGBT [community]?”

But in a sign that Djama may be an outlier, in March, a judge in Indonesia’s constitutional court issued an apology after making a statement against equal marriage during proceedings at the House of Representatives.

Hartoyo, however, remains undaunted. ““I will probably send her a warning letter [saying] that what she did only publicly showed how stupid she is,” he said. “She’s intellectual and has access to the Internet and other resources. To come up with that way of thinking is embarrassing.”

Esmeralda Anaya with her mother, Maria Castillo

For some, Mother’s Day is that day when you can’t avoid your mother’s phone call. In fact, you really have to call her or risk a lecture for the 364 other days of the year. You marvel at the marketing moms across the country have done because I mean, really, who knows when Father’s Day is?

In relation to other holidays Mother’s Day is actually relatively new, historically speaking, tracing its roots in the United States to 1908 when it was first created by Anna Jarvis, a woman who lost her own mother in 1905 and actually never became a mother herself. President Woodrow Wilson was the first president to sign a proclamation for Mother’s Day May 9, 1914.

What had begun as a holiday meant for families to honor their mothers quickly became commercialized around the giving of gifts, something that the holiday’s creator fought. Sadly, Anna Jarvis died penniless in a sanatorium and the holiday continued on as we know it.

Cory Huston with his stepmother, Cyndi Huston

In the LGBT community relationships with our parents can often be complicated, so we asked some of our readers to tell us what Mother’s Day means to them.

Kurt Cunningham shared a story of his loving mother, Lisa Cunningham, who was supportive and caring without condition.

“My mom really was my best friend,” Cunningham told San Diego LGBT Weekly. “My dad worked a lot when I was a kid so it was always me and my mom together all the time. Later in life the support she always gave me was beyond anything anyone could ever hope for. She would come to my drag shows, she was even on stage when I was crowned empress and I have a photo of that night in my drag album here. It has been less than a year since she died, but there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of her. I often have dreams that she is in, and I know that’s her way of coming to check on me.”

Coronation of Empress Summer Meadows (Kurt Cunningham) watched by his proud mother, Lisa, in the lavender dress

For some, Mother’s Day is more complicated. Acknowledging the great sacrifices of her mother, LGBT Weekly reader Esmeralda Anaya explained that her mother never accepted her orientation.

“My mother was a woman who sacrificed so much to ensure we were provided for and have a future she could only dream of,” said Anaya. “As immigrants, she said we must work twice as hard like we had something to prove. After coming out I felt I had to work twice as hard as my siblings for her love, to prove that my love was equal. As much as I tried to show her the similarities that exist in our struggles, we could never come to an understanding. It’s been almost two years since I’ve heard my mother’s voice and I fear I am almost forgetting what it sounds like. Nonetheless, I strive to make her proud and one day hope she acknowledges that love is love.”

Navy Veteran Cory Huston, dedicates Mother’s Day to his stepmother who raised him since he was 6 alongside her own biological children. Huston’s relationship with his biological mother was fraught with conflict and disapproval especially because of his sexual orientation.

Kurt Cunningham with his mom

“My stepmom raised me from the time I was 6 and I call her ‘Mom’ because she was the one I came home to everyday and she always tried ten times harder to make up for my biological mom’s bad motherhood,” Huston recalled.

Pride Card joint-owner and creator Bo Andras shared with LGBT Weekly that he always wondered what his life would have been like had he had more time with his mother. His mother, Beverly Guillot Andras, passed away of cancer when he was 8. He honors both his mother and his aunt, Linda Guillot, on Mother’s Day.

“I honor and remember my mom every day,” Andras shared with LGBT Weekly. “She passed away 35 years ago this upcoming December; a week before Christmas. I do treat and honor my aunt as my mother on Mother’s Day. She stepped in and raised me like her own and even though I never called her ‘Mom’ or even ‘Aunt Linda,’ I always called her by her first name because she was more than an aunt but never wanted to disrespect my mom by calling someone else ‘Mom.’”

For the LGBT community Mother’s Day is another day complicated by the relationships we have. But like any American, the day is about Mom, and for some that makes it either a really good day or a miserable one – but one that will likely touch us all in some way.

Robert Downey Jr. in Iron Man 3

Can we talk about Robert Downey Jr.’s beard for a minute? It’s not quite pencil thin, but it’s distressingly narrow; a strip that connects tweezed sideburns with a manicured mustache and a chin strap. It’s decidedly not fashionable; the look really hasn’t been hip since the late 1990s, which is when the third installment of Iron Man opens. It was douchey at the turn of the century (when that insult wasn’t really in use), and it just looks bad now.

I’m not entirely sure why I am so focused on how awful Downey’s beard is. Overall, it was just a minor part of why he bugged me so much in the movie. I guess it’s partly because I’m bear and prefer real beards, but partly it’s because Downey spends disappointingly little time in his armored suit, and his face and awful beard are on full display.

It turns out Iron Man 3 is less of a superhero movie and more of an action movie vehicle for Robert Downey Jr. and his trademark, and to me, increasingly irritating, shtick.

The movie opens with a flashback to 1999, when pre-Iron Man billionaire industrialist Tony Stark (Downey) picks up a promising botanist named Maya (Rebecca Hall) and rudely ignores a decrepit, limping scientist named Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce).

Thirteen years later – a few months after Iron Man and the Avengers battled aliens and a cranky Norse god in New York (as seen in Joss Whedon’s awesome The Avengers) an event that has inexplicably made Tony prone to panic attacks – Killian shows up again, perfectly healthy, and tries to convince Tony’s girlfriend and the CEO of his company Pepper Potts (a fierce Gwyneth Paltrow) to partner on his future research. Meanwhile, a Middle Eastern terrorist called the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) is setting off bombs and killing Americans willy-nilly.

When one of the Mandarin’s blasts hurts Tony’s trusted bodyguard Happy Hogan (John Favreau, who directed the first two Iron Man films), Tony is enraged and challenges the Mandarin. And the Mandarin responds, sending three helicopters to destroy Tony’s Malibu mansion, seemingly killing our hero.

Of course, Tony survives, and his quest to get the Mandarin leads Tony to Aldrich, Maya, Tennessee, a cutesy friendship with a young boy (Ty Simpkins), several glowing bad guys (led by the criminally underused James Badge Dale), Miami and a massive Michael Bay-ish fight above an oil tanker alongside Tony’s brother-in-another-suit-of-armor Col. James Rhodes (Don Cheadle).

The plot is, to say the least, involved, though most of the mystery is pretty easy for the audience to figure out long before Tony and Pepper do. However, there is one twist that is slightly surprising, utterly delightful, and it allows at least one member of this outrageously talented cast (that also includes Miguel Ferrer and Dale Dickey) to go for a Golden Globe nomination. This twist has enraged comic book fan boys, but I’m not sure which is more entertaining, their geek outrage or the object of their ire.

As a long-time fan of the Marvel Comics universe, I was unconcerned about the change of an established, but minor character, especially since writer-director Shane Black did it so well – and it’s the best part of an impressively witty script. I was much more irritated that, unlike every other Marvel film, from Spiderman to the X-Men to The Avengers, the iconic character being played in Iron Man is subservient to the star’s persona.

Downey, once considered to be the great actor of his generation, has become a lazy ham, playing a vaguely different version of the fast-talking, sarcastic cad in every film, whether it’s the Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes franchises or broad comedies like Due Date.

Call me a fan boy, but just like that terrible beard, that character is distractingly wrong for Tony Stark.

MOVIE REVIEW

Riz Ahmed in The Reluctant Fundamentalist

Iron Man 3

Directed by Shane Black

Written by Drew Pearce and Shane Black

Starring Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Kingsley

Rated PG-13

At your local multiplex

Available in 3-D and IMAX

also playing

The Reluctant Fundamentalist

If you were offended by Zero Dark Thirty, and there’s good reason to be, you may find solace in The Reluctant Fundamentalist, which is as subversively anti-American and anti-imperialist as Zero Dark Thirty was pro-American and pro-fascism.

Based on the novel by Mohsin Hamid, it is the story of how Changez (Riz Ahmed) is transformed from extremely eager, extremely competitive capitalist – from Princeton to investment banking – into the heroic professor of anti-American student protesters (and possibly terrorists) in Lahore, Pakistan. Changez tells his story to Bobby Lincoln (Liev Schreiber), a journalist covering the kidnapping of one of Changez’s university colleagues, an American scholar.

It’s a powerful story and a useful counter to the mindless anti-Muslim and silly jingoism of most American films.

Visible Bodies Photo: Wolfgang

San Diego will help rewrite the way stories about transgender people are told thanks to Visible Bodies an exciting exhibit of more than 30 portraits of people in the local transgender community.

Visible Bodies, a photography series highlighting transgender and genderqueer individuals will be exhibited the entire month of May at Art of Pride in North Park. Through captions written by participants and a close collaboration between subject and photographer, the photographs on display in this exhibition empower transgender people, giving them the space to express what their gender means to them. The exhibit is part of a fledgling movement of transgender people telling their own stories, in contrast to the biased and overly simple narratives told about them in the media.

Started as a legacy project by Ph.D. candidate Scott Duane to document and empower transgender students at the University of California San Diego, Visible Bodies quickly grew to encompass the larger transgender community. “San Diego trans people are excited to see accurate, positive representations of themselves in this project,” says Duane. “The response has been so overwhelming; we’ve actually had to turn down several potential participants. On the other side of the coin, non-trans people find Visible Bodies educational and enlightening.”

Historically, and still today, the narratives of transgender people have been written by people who are not themselves trans. In mainstream media, trans people are almost always characterized as one-dimensional. The focus of these stories is narrow, typically only discussing the trans person’s tragic childhood and the events leading up to their transition.

Visible Bodies: Spike Photo: Wolfgang

Sensationalizing gender-confirming surgery and hormone therapy, using incorrect gender pronouns, emphasizing before-and-after pictures, birth names and genitalia are all common media practices. A less reductive and more nuanced narrative showing trans people as people with careers, partners, children, hobbies and interests outside of their own gender identities and transitions are rare.

Additionally, there is almost no mainstream media coverage of gender-variant and genderqueer people. According to Liat Wexler, founder of Genderqueer San Diego, “Virtually no mainstream media discusses people whose genders are fluid, are genderqueer and do not fall in one of the two recognized binary genders (man or woman), or those who have no gender (neutrois or agender.)” One of the unique aspects of Visible Bodies is its broad representation of gender expressions and identities.

Visible Bodies: Evan Photo: Wolfgang

All are welcome to the artist reception Saturday, May 11 6:30-8:30 p.m. Art of Pride is a curated gallery in the San Diego LGBT Pride building located at 3620 30th Street.

Kim McBride, League President Russ Mortenson Boyd and Nancy Logerberg

The San Diego Pool League’s (SDPL) Broomstick Tournament concluded April 28 at the Eagle with the team of Anthony Juarez and his team mate Kim McBride (sponsored by Twiggs Coffee House) finishing in first place. Finishing in second place were League President Russ Mortenson Boyd and Nancy Logerberg sponsored by the Leather Foundation. The three-weekend event which began at Kelly Pub in Old town April 14 and then PECS April 21 qualified the top four teams which in addition to the first and second place teams include: Joe Corder and Norma Posy and attorney Timothy Lee Davis and Oscar Castro.

Sunday, April 28 the four teams battled it out, with brooms in hand, until one team was left standing. So far the event has raised about $800 for PAWS (Pets are Wonderful Support) with the final tally to be determined following the Leagues Awards Banquet Monday, July 8 at the Sheraton Mission Valley Hotel where raffle tickets will be sold and lots of bar tabs will be up for grabs.

The Broomstick Tournament, which began back in 1985, is one of the oldest LGBT fundraising events and through the years has generated more than $30,000 for local organizations such as the San Diego AIDS Foundation, Special Delivery and the Lambda Archives, to name a few.

Tournament founder and this year’s tournament director, Mike Passante said, “I would like to thank Timothy Lee Davis: attorney at law, Sharon Sherman: attorney at law, Hillcrest Pharmacy, Twiggs Coffee House, Dr. David Shamblaw, The Leather Foundation, #1 Fifth Avenue, Starbucks, Big City Bagel, The Eagle, PECS, Kellys Pub, True North, The Redwing, The Big Kitchen, The Loft and everyone who helped to make this year’s event a success.”

Currently the Pool League is in its final weeks of team play in this its 35th year and 70th season! The first of its several playoff tournaments begins Sunday, May 12, where the Hungry Stick will host the leagues Rising Star Tournament starting at 10 a.m.

The league will be hosting the California 8 Ball championship West Coast Challenge in mid-July with teams from Long Beach, Los Angeles, San Francisco and San Diego competing in both team and individual events. The Leagues 71st season will begin Monday, July 29. For complete Playoff information and all league history and events check out the Pool League web site at sdpool.org

The Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast is designed to bring together more than 1,000 diverse San Diegans – business, labor, Democrats, Republicans, all communities, all ages, all San Diegans who support equality and justice – to celebrate the memory of this influential civil rights activist.

The 2013 Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast will be held Friday, May 24 at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront Hotel.

This year’s honorees are Milk screenwriter, Dustin Lance Black and former Oregon governor, Barbara Roberts.

Proceeds benefit the social services programs of the San Diego LGBT Community Center.

For more information or tickets contact Sarafina Scapicchio at 619-692-2077 x246 or events@thecentersd.org

A private reception, sponsored by the Harvey Milk Foundation, will take place Thursday, May 23 from 6-8 p.m. at a private residence. For more information call 619-692-1967.

The recycling center at the Albertsons supermarket in North Park has quietly disappeared following a petition drive that was signed by some of the neighbors that blamed scavenging and crime upon people who took their bottles and cans there.

The decision to disband was made by the corporate owner, RePlanet, in late March and not by Albertsons, according to a manager who said in April that he received the notice from RePlanet.

“People in the area are disappointed it left,” said a woman at RePlanet, who added that they received a number of calls after the recycling center was moved.

It officially was closed March 30 and the store at 2235 University Ave. put up a sign that listed the address of the nearest recycling center on 30th Street.

A message was left with the corporate HQ of RePlanet, but the call wasn’t returned.

The campaign began in 2012 after neighbors complained about noise, and people scavenging through trash cans. Literature was stuffed in the mailboxes of surrounding houses and apartments to drum up support. The petition drive obtained 96 signatures.

Earlier, RePlanet told LGBT Weekly they quit crushing glass in the center in response to complaints about noise. They also closed the facility on Sundays and Thursdays. The City’s garbage collectors come into the area on Thursdays.

Being friendly with ones neighbors is a policy not to be ignored. One never knows when one might need a cup of sugar, squish of KY or sitter of cat. Of course there are exceptions: the troll with his windows blackened with garbage bags; the grandma whose makeup rivals the boys in Holiday on Ice and who whispers “Drop in … anytime” and there is the widow(er) who regales you with endless discourse on the perfection of the lost love.

Unfortunately my former neighbor was the winner of the “Avoid at Any Cost” prize … the religious nut.

I adhere to no specific sect/group/ism, yet I am a spiritual person. In my search for inner peace and strength, I take and respect the rational, uplifting tenets of love and compassion from all sides; so I am not referring to a seriously religious, kind, upright person. I’m talking about the nut! You know what I mean.

She enjoyed, with open door, the Sunday TV programs with their crowds of faithful enraptured by the words of their adored leaders whose show of humility is matched only by the splendor of their impeccably coiffed pompadours.

Weekdays, her radio blasted forth “The Word” to her sinning neighbors (especially me); at double volume when the speaker ranted, with justified condemnation against the gay community and its abomination the sin of Onan; in general, acting about as Christian as a Borgia pope.

The lady was always ordering (for a small fee + S&H) ) countless prayer shawls, pendants with sand from the Dead Sea, vials of holy water and special Bibles for her prayer closet (I never believed the rumors of an autographed Last Supper picture).

She was determined to save me. I finally stopped her from coming and lecturing me: I put a large picture of the Buddha on my door with the sign “Knock, if you seek the Truth.”

Yelp? Help!

Just when I thought I had a vague understanding of twittering and facebooking (Is that a word?), I encounter something called Yelp. On consultation with my Internet/neo-English linguistics guru, I find it is a Web site where one critiques local businesses.

“It’s like Rotten Tomatoes,” he said, certain I knew what he was talking about. I naturally assumed if I receive rotten tomatoes in a restaurant or supermarket, I can go to the site and complain. No. Rotten Tomatoes has nothing to do with tomatoes rotten or otherwise. It is for movie reviews!

I checked and found, for example, the list “The 100 Best Films of All Time” which has as No. 1 Toy Story II, No. 2 Man on a Wire, No. 3 Taxi to the Dark Side, etc. Hmm. Of all time? Need I comment?

Dear fellow seniors, I would suggest a random flick of the switch to the Turner Classic Movies channel offers a better chance for an evening of film enjoyment. Double Indemnity the other night was superb. Barbara Stanwyck as a blond! Youngsters, ask a senior.

As for Yelp assisting me in my restaurant choices, I hesitate. After reviewing the quality of comments on the Rotten Tomatoes site, I seriously wonder.

Toni Atkins at Emory and Henry College

She doesn’t talk about it a lot but Toni was born to very poor working parents in the rural South with no electricity or running water; (yes, an outhouse in the back). But she got an education and this past Saturday she was asked to deliver the commencement address at Emory and Henry College, her 1984 alma mater.

The title of her speech was I have dreamed on this mountain. And, indeed, one of San Diego’s most hard working and beloved public servants is living proof of the American dream and success story.

Both Toni and her partner, Jennifer LeSar, were introduced at the ceremony by the college president. Needless to say, Toni has become an inspiration and role model for not only GLBT students but women and all students.

“You make a difference by who you are,” she told the 2013 graduating class which included the elected senior orator who had just come out to his parents and was quickly disowned.

An older Southern lesbian couple told Toni how proud they were of her. Former deputy mayor, now state Assembly Majority Leader, Toni Atkins has never forgotten where she came from and she has given a voice to the voiceless and is, indeed, not only the pride of San Diego, but of the South.

San Francisco Pride did the right thing

I most respectfully disagree with the recent stand of SAME/San Diego and wholeheartedly support the decision of San Francisco Pride revoking the nomination of Pfc. Bradley Manning as one of its 2013 grand marshals.

I agree with San Francisco Pride that Manning’s actions “placed in harm’s way the lives of our men and women in uniform.” National gay veteran leader, George Garhart told me that a vast majority of GLBT veterans consider Pfc. Manning a traitor to his country.

People, politics and opinions

This past weekend, the Republican Party of San Diego held its annual “Lincoln/Reagan Dinner” and word is that Carl DeMaio got one of the very few prolonged standing ovations as talk that evening was about DeMaio’s plans to run for Congress next year.

By the way, congratulations to Johnathan Hale and Carl DeMaio on their 4th anniversary.

Last week, I had dinner with District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis who is facing a “ Donald Trump-like” wealthy attorney as an opponent. This guy flies on a lot of private jets, owns houses and drives expensive cars. His first run for office, this guy, like Mitt Romney, is out of touch with the average hard working San Diegan.

Susan Atkins is taking the lead in getting a beautiful stained glass window in our new downtown library (opening in Sept.) to be sponsored by our GLBT community … great idea!

While Nathan Fletcher became a new “Clinton Democrat” his equally popular wife, Mindy, recently attended the new Bush Presidential Library in Texas, as she served as his national press secretary of his 2000 campaign.

Top council aide Anthony Bernal will try to succeed his boss, Todd Gloria in 2016 and this race could also include Stephen Whitburn, Chris Ward and Laurie Coskey.

Oceanside’s popular ex-Marine state Assemblyman Rocky Chavez, a conservative Republican came out for marriage equality!

Nicole with Cleve Jones

I say Olga Diaz for mayor of Escondido in 2014!

Let’s support the efforts to name a court house in honor of the late district attorney, Ed Miller who I got to know better when we served on the “Kitchen Cabinet” of former City Attorney Mike Aguirre. Ed was a great man.

Check out the May issue of Pacific magazine and the Todd Gloria interview.

Fred Maas: for decades a fighter for equality

Can’t we move on from the 2012 mayoral race? Various media outlets continue to run stories about the supposed shady backroom dealings of both campaigns.

Hello world! There isn’t a campaign or media outlet that does not do background checks on candidates and their spouses, period.

For one media outlet to accuse Fred Maas of “gay bashing” is so way off base and ridiculous. Maas has been a longtime and respected supporter of GLBT equality and many GLBT candidates. He puts his money where his mouth is and writer Scott Lewis should wash his mouth out with soap for his recent psycho attack on Fred Maas.

Supporting women with HIV-AIDS

Every year the good people of Christie’s Place hold a retreat for women living with HIV-AIDS. This is a badly needed chance for them to step back from everyday life, reflect and re-energize.

Now this 5th annual event is badly in need of financial support if it’s going to happen. Bonnie Dumanis was one of the first to write a personal check and the Imperial Court has made a pledge. Let’s support these women. Contact Christie’s Place or Carolina Ramos at The Center 619-692-2077.

‘Red Dress Party’ coming to San Diego!

Finally, the super-popular and outrageous Red Dress Party is coming to San Diego. (Via Las Vegas, New York etc.) A totally fun event where every man and woman comes in a red dress to the HIV-AIDS event or you can’t enter.

A big list of San Diego VIPs will be hosts of this event that is being organized by Rich’s and the Imperial Court.

Cleve Jones

On the subject of heroes, I attended a reception in Phoenix, Ariz. this past Sunday at the beautiful home of M.C.C. pastor, Rev. Brad Wishon for international human rights activist Cleve Jones who founded the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt and was the historic consultant to the Academy award winning film, Milk.

As many times as I’ve heard my good friend speak these last decades, Cleve remains inspiring and so eloquent as he always speaks from the heart. Yes, I consider myself blessed to have met people like Rev. Troy Perry, Cesar Chavez, Harvey Milk, Loretta Scott King, Morris Knight, Robin Tyler, Stuart Milk, Jose Julio Sarria and, yes, Cleve Jones. I’ve gotten to work with and know many of them and for me, a gay Latino activist for more than 45 years, these are some of my personal role models and heroes.

Nicole Murray Ramirez has been an award-winning columnist since 1973, and a Latino and gay activist for well over 40 years. He is currently a city commissioner and has served the last six mayors of San Diego. He is also a national board member of the Harvey Milk Foundation and chairman of the International Court Council of the USA, Canada and Mexico. Nicolemrsandiego@aol.com